


The Savior of None (DRAFT)

by Des558



Series: liminal space [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Anti-Hero, Canon Divergence on Steroids, City of Light (The 100), Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Evil Clarke Griffin, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hero Complex, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Mind Palace, Out of Character, Self-Destruction, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Symbolism, The Ark Station, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Wanheda Clarke Griffin, Wanheda as Clarke's Alter-Ego, a clexa fic except the side characters ''get a lot of screen time", attempted city of light worldbuilding, im just going to pretend this fic doesn't exist, some romance I guess, this fic speeds up faster than a derailing train, void!clarke, void!costia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:42:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 115,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24095275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Des558/pseuds/Des558
Summary: (**on major hiatus for mental health reasons, no I’m not okay I can’t stand my high expectations so I need a long break**)Infect me with your lies, plague my mind with your destructive desires.Cleanse me of my sins with your own.The 100 never made it to Earth. Everyone is dead but herself.After crash landing and burning hundreds of warriors within mere seconds, she's known as the Commander of Death by those near and far. Now, she struggles to keep track of her identity and all of the events that already unfolded per her unexpected and sudden arrival.But Wanheda isn't just a title. It is someone twisted, evil, and is a result of Clarke's darkest thoughts of her oppressive past in space manifesting into a total nightmare.(Season 1 pre-canon divergence in which A.L.I.E. breaches the Ark Station instead of the ground. Warning that this is extremely canon-divergent.)writing playlist- read more on ch.27
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Wanheda & Clarke Griffin
Series: liminal space [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1824523
Comments: 82
Kudos: 121





	1. Prologue: Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going to a normal day at Earth skills turns into something out of proportion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Clexa fans and other curious members, this was a spur-of-the moment one shot that is now a big story split into different parts. My version of Wanheda is going to be explored towards the middle. 
> 
> Don't mind me, I'm an amateur writer creating a complex story :)
> 
> **June 20th, 2020: Draft 2 of this story will be posted in the far future**

(Keep in mind that this is a rough draft)

**Mini Table of Contents:**

Part 1 - Chapters 1-11: Braving a New World _**unedited**_

Part 2 - Chapters 13-?: Cyclones of Destruction and the City of Light

* * *

_Keeper of my sanity please help me_

_for so these nightmares still haunt me,_

_drenching me with fear in my dreams._

_And when I wake,_

_they will still be looming over me like vulture encircling prey,_

_waiting until sleep takes me to strike once again._

**  
Prologue - Reality**

“Quick, run!”

A voice startles the girl as she looks at her surroundings.

It's dark. She can't see anything, nor can she depict where she is. 

_How did I end up here,_ she thinks, scrunching her brows in concentration. 

The noise of pounding footsteps becomes a crescendo, coming closer and closer.

Her instincts kick in and she quickly runs from the noise, her feet carrying her blindly through the pitch black area. 

She turns her head back to see where the unknown footsteps are but gasps as she slams straight into a wall. The pain throbs and pulses in her face and forehead as if they had a heartbeat of their own.

Quickly pushing herself off of the wall, she turns back again and sees small white orbs from flashlights shining in her direction from afar.

“Hey! Follow me! To your right!”

She snaps her head and goes to the direction of the voice, ignoring the way her throat burns, quickly turning on sharp corners.

Stumbling into an area where familiar halls intersect made her catch her breath. She pants and sighs in an irregular rhythm, her breath finally catching up to her.

_Finally, I know where I am I just need to-_

Her breath was snatched away by a strong force slamming to her right. She croaked a breathless scream when her back hit the ground. Before she could react again, a hand clamped over her mouth while struggling to be freed from the steel grasp. Her eyes dart everywhere, her forehead drenched in sweat, and her heart is galloping at breakneck speeds.

She barely makes out a hooded figure muffling her cries for help.

“Quiet! They’ll hear you. And when they do, you would wish you were dead." 

Shouts and cries filled the area. Footsteps thundered the area as the girl watched in horror of what would’ve happened if she didn’t move. A flood of dark figures burst through like a stream of water in a dam.

After the last voices were heard, the hooded figure let go of her.

“Good," they sprung to their feet, before giving her a hand, "come with me before any of them-”

A piece of metal pierced through their stomach. Blood was splattered across the girl's face. 

A blood curling scream paralyzed the girl. 

Her eyes widened at the sight before-

“Wake up!”

The girl gasped awake, sitting upright in her cell. With the back of her hand, she wiped across her forehead only to feel that it was covered in a thin layer of sweat.

_Great. This sucks._

She was slowly regaining her breath, her chest rising and falling to catch herself. If only it were that easy to just get rid of her awful nightmares after that _horrible day._

“Hey, Clarke." A familiar voice entered her hearing. "It’s okay. It was just a dream,” an older brunette lady sat down beside her, “I hope you don't have any more nightmares, otherwise I would have to take you to medical.”

_Medical, because you're too 'busy' to comfort your own daughter._

  
“Thank you, Dr.Griffin.” She grumbled. Her legs dragged her out of bed.

Dr. Griffin rolled her eyes, “You know you can just call me Mom.” Clarke shot her a glare in response, indicating to her that she couldn't forgive her for what she had done. “Now come on, Pike is expecting you soon at-”

“Earth Studies. I know,” Clarke retorted. “I still don’t know why I have to take that class even though we’ll be stuck in space forever."

Abby opened her mouth to respond, but thumps at the door interrupted their conversation.

“Prisoner 319, You’re expected to be with Mr.Pike soon.”

Clarke groaned, not caring if the guards heard through the metal doors.

It was time to suffer in a more boring way.

_How fantastic._

* * *

Clarke saw the recognizable metal door that had words that printed out **ASSEMBLY ROOM**

Her insides were tied up inside her gut like a knot. 

_I can’t believe I have to take this stupid class_.

“Today, Ms.Griffin.” The guards beside her nudged her forward. 

Clarke decided not to retort back at them, she pushed the door open, glancing around, and quietly found a seat in the back.

“Now as you can see, the Earth has existed for billions of years and contained our biosphere.”

_As long as Mr. Pike is talking, I really hope I don’t get spotted by-_

“Oh, it looks like the teacher’s pet showed up.” a voice sneered. “it’s a real shame that your seat in the front was taken, too bad you can’t kiss the teachers ass.”

A bunch of quiet snickers and laughs were heard across the room. Clarke rolled her eyes.

_Great. The infamous Murphy just has to grab attention and direct it towards me._

“That’s quite enough Mr. Murphy,” Pike frowned, “Now unless you would like to say something to the class, I don’t want to hear another word from you. Now back to what I was saying..." 

As Pike droned on about random facts about the Earth, Clarke zoned out and decided to look at all the little objects displayed and scattered across his table. _God. Why are Pike’s pointless diagrams and objects more interesting than the actual class?_

“Ms.Griffin, would you care to explain why the earth is round?” Pike’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She made direct eye contact with him as the whole room went silent.

_Of course, perfect timing, let’s hope I don’t get mocked while I answer this dumb question._

“Because it’s not flat, of course.” 

A noise was heard from the back as Murphy laughed. The whole class joined after him. She received a few pats on the shoulder for her response. _What a surprise, the whole class isn’t against me for once._ Clarke stifled a grin, she was internally delighted to see faces of joy rather than faces of mockery for once.

Mr. Pike cleared his throat and the class went silent. 

“Now I don’t know what’s wrong with this class today, other than Mr.Murphy being…. _himself_. You guys aren’t really grasping this knowledge since it will be important for you guys later on. You might not get it or see what I’m doing, but it is for you all.”

_Of course, he has to say this every time we have a session of how important Earth Studies are, but are we ever really going down to Earth?_

“Now you’re going to be in groups of five, and it is mandatory to do this assignment every time we meet. Otherwise this will be marked on your permanent records in The Ark. You guys must be resourceful and find one important thing about the Earth, or The Ark.”

With that, everyone started looking around for groups and making eye contact with one another. Clarke felt another pang in her stomach. _Well sometimes it doesn’t kill to be the loner, I could just do the project myself._

“Hey! What are you guys doing?" Pike barks, "I am making the groups because of your _unacceptable_ behavior,” He says, while making eye contact towards Clarke, then Murphy.

_Are you kidding me? All I did was state an obvious reason why the Earth is round._

_“_ The first group will be...Clarke, Monty, Raven, and Jasper.” Her eyes flicked toward Finn and Wells, who looked kind of upset after hearing her name being called. _God those two really want to hit on me, don’t they. And doesn’t Finn have a girlfriend?_ When Pike assigned the rest of the groups, Clarke hoped that her own group wouldn't mock her as much as Murphy does. 

“Now get with your teams and start planning, we don’t have all day kids.”

_I hate when Pike calls us kids when we’re all almost 18._

Clarke was about to get off her chair to find her group when she saw the four of them walking towards her.

“Nice to meet you guys,” Clarke smiled, “You guys probably know who I am since Murphy always tries to call me out every class.”

“Don’t worry, we don’t hate you like how Murphy does,” Monty says, “We promise we won’t bully you for who you are.”

“Oh yeah, cause you’re the so called teachers pet,” Clarke stiffened at Ravens words, but she patted Clarke’s shoulder, “Don’t worry I’m just teasing you Griffin, now let’s get started on this project.”

“Okay..." Clarke starts off, "how are we going to present how important it is that some of us should be sent down to the Earth for-”

“So, since this is all stupid,” Jasper said out of the blue, “Sorry for interrupting, but I was wondering how you..two,” he pointed to both Raven and Clarke, “...got into prison with rest of us idiots.” 

"Uh-I-"

“Well, I...I kind of went on an illegal spacewalk,” Raven said, “and I know you guys aren’t the type of people to snitch, but I lied about my age so that I wouldn’t go to trial to get floated. I threw away my birth records and hacked into the system to make a new one. So _now_ I’m 16 years and 6 months old.” The three of them looked at Raven in shock. 

“What about you, Clarke,” Raven smirked, “How did someone as important and innocent as you get into prison with us?”

Clarke froze, the memories she tried to suppress for so long were aching to tear her apart at this instant. 

Clarke tried to hold it all in, the thoughts of the incident were closing her airways, preventing her from speaking anything. 

“Oh," Monty exchanged looks with the other two. “Jasper just thought you messed around with your mom’s equipment and caused an explosion or something like that-" 

"Hey! I'm the one that makes things go boom." Raven added. 

“But in all seriousness, you don’t have to tell us if it’s traumatic,” Monty reassured.

“It’s fine,” Her fists were clenched under the table, telling her that it was the exact opposite. “I’ll tell you guys later when this stupid class is over.”

_It’s a good thing I had a lot of practice of keeping it all in. All the time I spend in my cell-_

“Okay guys, class is dismissed. Please be prepared for next time.”

Clarke slowly got up. She didn’t care if she was the first one out like she usually did, all she wanted to do is figure out who snitched on her father and got him floated. 

“Hey,” an annoying flirtatious voice said behind her, “How are you doing…”

_God please don’t say what I think he’s going to say_

“...Princess.” 

_This is going to be a long walk back._

* * *

_Home sweet home for the past_ _month._

As she made her way towards her prison cell, she caught a glimpse of her mom and Eric Jackson talking to a guard about some medical plans.

 _Probably some prisoner ended up sick or something like that._ _I hope one day I’ll be able to get out of jail._

Her heart stung, the past memories seeped into her mind. She quickly swung the door open, locked herself in her cell in an attempt to bottle up all of her emotions inside.

 _God I hate this so much._

She sighs, then turning towards the window, which had a view of the Earth.

_I really wish Dad was here to see this...._

_I...wish none of this ever happened at all._   
  
  


* * *

"And this is why Trees were important to the Earth, because they gave us nitrogen-"

"Oxygen." 

An applause was heard, the group that had just presented sat down. Earth Studies for once wasn’t as boring since she heard voices _other than Pike_ talk about irrelevant facts. 

“Hey Clarke,” Jasper murmured, tapping her shoulder. “Is it just me or is Finn and Wells trying to get your attention?”

"Hey," She grits her teeth, "Not now."

“Excuse me,” Raven snaps. “Please tell me that was a joke. If Finn has eyes on another girl-”

“What a splendid presentation,” Pike praised, clasping his hands in pure contentment, “I’m very intrigued by your information and your drawings.” His voice sounded _less_ aggressive than usual. Strange. Pike usually criticized everything about their work and he usually hated his students with a burning passion.

Was she was imagining things? Was she going insane?

"Now can Monty's group please present." Mr.Pike said with a smile. _Wait a minute,_ _Mr.Pike barely smiles. This is such a rare occasion._

They all slowly got up and walked towards the front of the room.

Monty turned to the group, “I hope you guys prepared your parts for this presentation.” Yes Clarke knew the order, it was Jasper first then Raven, Monty, and finally herself. This presentation would either be all or nothing. They would be seen as complete lunatics or brilliant geniuses. 

“Have you guys ever wondered why we are even doing Earth Studies,” Jasper started, scanning the room. “Well, we’re all here to tell you why we are here, on the Ark. We believed that the reason that we are taking this class is not just to kill time until we all get floated."

"Well that's one way to put it," Murphy notes, eyes glinting with a little sign of curiosity as he kicked back on his chair.

A few other chuckles were heard.

"Uhmm..well, Raven and Monty will help explain the technical parts of why.” He steps back, face flushed.

“To start off,” Raven says, stepping in front. “The Ark has enough to sustain…”

As she was talking to the class about the Ark itself. Monty quickly gave Clarke the thumbs up signal for her cue to start drawing soon. When she was erasing the whiteboard, she caught glances of curiosity looking at her direction.

Especially from Wells and Finn.

_I guess this is working into our favor after all._

“...and they said that we have about 3 more years until we can finally go down to Earth.” After Raven finished, Clarke picked up the whiteboard marker and started to draw. The class for once was intrigued as the drawing on the whiteboard started to come together.

Monty continued after Raven and started speaking about random theories for why they were taking Earth Studies. “I know that these are probably irrelevant, such as the Aliens trying to invade earth, and the one about us going to another Earth...but our top theory is that we are going back home.”

Everyone gasped.

Pike looked...glad? 

Clarke dropped her marker and showed everyone the full drawing of an escape pod. “That’s why we are here today. We are the 100 that is going to be sent down to the Earth. That is our theory of why we are here in Earth Studies.”

The whole room went silent. Clarke felt a build up of anxiety as she started to predict public humiliation from her classmates coming up soon.

But, Murphy and his friends clapped, then the rest of the classroom applauded. The four of them high-five each other and smiled in their celebration. The little victory was fantastic and it made perfect sense.

They sat down at their regular seats.

There was a lot of chattering as Clarke and her teammates felt relieved, they didn't want to endure public humiliation that Clarke had always dragged along. 

**“It seems you guys finally understand.”**

Pike flipped the light switch. He never did anything to the lights before.

Clarke could barely make out his figure since the lights were dimmed to a very low tone.

He walked slowly back to where the whiteboard was and stood there, gazing at them with a smile across his lips. Whispers filled the room. Eyes darted around to make sense of what he was talking about.

This felt like one of those horror movies she used to watch with her mom. It felt like they were about to die. Clarke gripped her chair in terror as she exchanged terrified glances with Raven, Jasper, and Monty.

"What the hell is Pike talking about?" 

"I don't know-" 

**“It’s such a shame that you guys had to learn so soon.”**

The door burst open and guards started to grab people. The four of them looked at each other in horror. 

“We need to hide somewhere, but how?” Jasper panicked. Muffled shouts and screams were heard as they hid behind the seats.

A light bulb went out in Clarke’s head. “I know where to go, I always played with this wobbly vent before class started since I was always early.” She pointed behind her where the vent is.

In a flash, she darts toward the exit and yanks the metal panel aside. She clamored inside and looked behind her.

“Quick, go inside,” She hissed, “or the guards will see us escaping.”

The three others quickly got in and shut the opening.

“So what now,” Jasper uttered, “are we going to sit here and rot or what?” 

“Of course not,” Raven replied, “I know just the good hiding spot. I stored food and water rations in there in case shit hit the fan like today.”

Raven commanded Clarke and the others where to go, and which areas to avoid. After a while of being commanded through a maze full of vents (and possibilities). They finally heard the words that they wanted to hear.

“Stop, we’re here, get the vent open.” 

Clarke noticed she was talking about the vent right under her stomach. _Well this is going to be quite a drop._ She smacked the vent as it fell to the ground with a massive clang. 

“Well let’s hope you don’t break any bones, Ms.Griffin,” Raven teased, “It’s too late to go back to your mom.”

Clarke rolled her eyes at Raven’s comment and pushed her body weight through the vent, with her fingers gripping on for dear life. Clarke looked down below her to see a little small escape pod. _Let’s hope I don’t hit that._

She fell down to the ground with a small thud and thanked the gods for not breaking a bone. Everyone else followed suit. Raven took a ladder and climbed up to secure the bolts on the vent. 

“Now all we need is a plan to escape,” Monty said, “We can’t stay on Ark Station for much longer. I don’t know why Pike turned on us, the guards outside were ordered to not float the prisoners or take them by force.”

“Something is definitely up,” Clarke replied, “either something happened to corrupt the Chancellor or they’re trying to keep order so word wouldn’t spread about our little project findings.”

Raven suddenly tensed up and looked away.

_I know she’s probably thinking about Finn, as much as I hate him trying to flirt with me I wouldn’t want him to die._

The four of them were puzzled and didn’t know what to do to save the others. They felt as if everything crumbled apart as soon as they finished telling their class about their findings.

“I feel like we shouldn’t have presented that project,” Jasper said, “otherwise we wouldn’t be in this absolute mess.” 

“Honestly,” Clarke replied, “ I feel like it was a sign that told us that there’s something going terribly wrong on the Ark.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter and we're already in a mess.


	2. Prologue: Devastation on the Ark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes there are no good choices.  
> Not everyone can be saved.

_All these past mistakes taught me one thing: to have thick skin, because it will definitely happen again._

_Blow after blow,_ _tragedies always happen to me,_ _especially after staying in this iron cage in space._

**Prologue - Devastation on the Ark**

“How are we going to do this?”

”I don’t know, you tell me—“

A fist pounded at the entrance.

“Open up! Any seen trespassers will be floated!”

“Shit,” Raven cursed. “You guys need to hide in the pod.”

“Are you kidding me?!” Clarke exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. “Unless you want us to get floated then yes why not.”

“I have an idea,” Jasper adds before anyone gets more paranoid. “Just hear me out guys.”

_Oh god, this better be a good one. Otherwise I’m going to take a quick visit to my dad._

The three of them tried to listen to Jasper's insane, yet smart plan over the continuous pounding at the door.

_This plan really better work, I don’t want to die just yet._

* * *

  
  


Clarke, Raven, and Monty were crouched against the door out of view as Jasper cleared his throat.

“Hey guards,” Jasper raised his voice. “I have one of your little friends in custody, so unless you want him to die, then you all better drop your weapons.”

They all chuckled and waited for a response.

_Please make it work, please make it work._

“Guys,” Monty whispered, lines of worry across his forehead. “I don’t think this is going to work. They aren’t saying anything.”

“Trust me,” Jasper tilts his head to see Monty. “It will work, you just got to have a little more faith in my plan.”

Right after Jasper said that, the doors opened up to four guards whose weapons were on the ground right in front of them.

“NOW!” Raven commands, leaping forward. 

Monty and Jasper lunged as a distraction while Clarke and Raven grabbed the shock batons and knocked out all of the guards.

They all were relieved that they got through with their plan all in one piece. 

Jasper picks up one of the weapons with a smile across his face. “I know what I’m talking about for once.” 

“So….now what?” Clarke scratches the back of her head, gesturing to the unconscious guards on the ground. “It’s not like they won’t notice that four of their guards are missing.” 

“Well they won’t even notice that any of them are missing, we can just fit right in.” Raven smirks. 

“No...no, you can’t be serious,” Clarke’s eyes widened. “Please tell me you’re actually joking.” 

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


Four guards were walking around, trying to be in uniform, attentive to their duties on the Ark Station. Their serious faces put up a facade, blocking out their emotions and personal issues while on watch.

Until one of them bursts out laughing. 

“Come on guys we have to be serious,” Clarke reminds them. “You never know when another officer will come by and interrogate us.” 

Suddenly, the alarms started to go off.

**EMERGENCY, BOMB THREAT DETECTED. GO TO THE MAIN QUARTERS.**

**EMERGENCY, BOMB THREAT DETECTED. GO TO THE MAIN QUARTERS.**

**EMERGENCY, BOMB THREAT DETECTED. GO TO THE MAIN QUARTERS.**

**EMERGENCY, BOMB THREAT DETECTED. GO TO THE MAIN QUARTERS.**

“We have to go, Finn’s probably there,” Raven whirls around. “Hurry up before we all blow up into pieces—“

“Wait,” Monty grabs her arm, tugging her closer. “It could be a trap. Pike wasn’t feeling himself at our Earth Studies class and all of our classmates were captured by the guards that weren’t meant to harm us.”

“Monty you have a good point,” Clarke acknowledges. “But we need to find out the source of this issue.”

Raven lets out a massive sigh and nods her head. “Lead the way.”

Instead of running from noise, they ran towards it.

“I’ll check ahead and see if there’s any—OW—“

Clarke slammed into someone head on.   
“Oh, sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going and—“ she takes a step back to get a better view of the person she ran into.

Her jaw drops, it was the one and only Kane. He looked at all of them with a serious glance and crossed his arms.

“Uh...hello Mr.Kane,” Jasper squeaks. “Uhm, we just had to make sure that uh…”

_Of all the times we had to screw up. It has to be now?! I might as well just turn myself in._

“...that...the alarm wasn’t false or triggered by accident.”

Kane looked at them with a questionable glance, which suddenly changed to a more peaceful one.

 _That’s weird,_ Clarke thought _. Usually he’s more interrogative and serious. How is he so peaceful when a bomb threat alarm is going off?_

“Fellow soldiers, you guys seem to have suffered long enough as guards,” He says, not taking note that they were poorly disguised teenagers in uniform. “Come follow me, ignore the alarm. This will take no time at all.”

They all exchanged suspicious glances before following behind.

The alarm got quieter as more guards ran in the opposite direction than where they were going.

Kane suddenly halted to a stop in the middle of a hallway near his office and turned around to them.

“Now,” He looks at Jasper. “Are you tired of suffering and enduring painful hours tracking down criminals and citizens?”

The four of them looked at each other in panic since they didn’t know what was going on, or what to do.

Jasper nods in fear of being discovered. 

“Well,” Kane cleared his voice. “I have just the right thing for you, all of you. This will take all of your misery away.”

Kane showed them a small chip in his hand. Of course, Jasper was automatically entranced as he took the chip from Kane.

“Wow, are you sure it works.” Jasper asks, curiosity beaming in his eyes. 

Kane nods.

“Yes, I tried it myself and it works out fine.”

“Come on Monty, try it with me.” 

Monty huffed and took another chip from Kane. They both put it in their mouths at the same time and their faces suddenly lit up.

“It actually works,” Jasper exclaimed, “This actually took all of my worries away.”

_Would that chip take all of mine away like it did for Jasper?_

She was really tempted to take a chip for herself, but her vision started to blur as she felt a sudden flash in her memory. 

*** 

_A FEW DAYS BEFORE JAKE GRIFFIN IS FLOATED_

_Papers and pens were everywhere on his desk. No matter how hard or how long she tried to convince him to clean it up, he wouldn’t budge. Everything she asked, he would always respond with_ _‘a famous person said that a cluttered desk is a cluttered mind.’  
_

_Her father was examining something with a tweezer and trying to pick at it. She saw something shiny and small on the ground and decided to pick it up._

_“Hey dad what’s this.” She held out a transparent blue object to her father. His eyes went wide as he snatched the chip from her. “That’s what I was looking for, it’s the other chip that Kane found!”_

_She crossed her arms. “Why can’t I see what that thing was,” she asks, “Can I please see it again?”_

_Her father put the chip down on his work table and went down to Clarke’s height._

_“Clarke, as your father I am here to tell you that this chip is super dangerous and if you swallow it, you will be controlled by an A.I. forever. Whatever you do, don't swallow it—“_

_There was a loud banging at the door._

_Her father quickly shoved the two small objects into a random drawer. The door burst open as Chancellor Jaha walked in with his guards._

_“Jake Griffin, you are being arrested for treason and spread of misinformation.”_

_“Dad NO!” Clarke cried, “Please don’t leave ME!” Her mind became a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions as she realized what was going to happen. She tried to suppress her sadness as tears were blurring her vision._

_As one guard walked over to her dad, Clarke tried to shove him away. The guards tried their best not to hurt Clarke while the he shoved her father toward the entrance._

_“Clarke honey,” Her dad said, “I’m sorry it had to be this way. The public found out about the future culling and I have to pay a price for it.”  
_

_Clarke cupped his face and cried into his chest before letting go for the last time._

_“I love you so much Clarke, don’t you ever forget that…..”_

_That chip was the last piece of information her Dad ever taught her. She wouldn’t see his face again until the day he was floated. By then, she would’ve been done with her grieving since she knew his fate ever since he got caught by Jaha that day.  
  
***_

Clarke snapped back into reality when Raven reached out to get a chip in her hand.

“Wait!” Clarke grabbed her hand, “Don’t take it! It’s a trap! Kane just wants you to submit to him. An A.I. will take over your mind before you recognize what’s going on!”

Raven was super puzzled and shocked, but she dropped the chip on the floor. Now, this was a fight or flight situation, it was three versus two. They would lose anyways if they didn’t—

“Run!” Raven takes off. 

Clarke bolted down the hallway after her friend. They heard footsteps behind as Kane, Jasper, and Monty ran after them. Both girls picked up their running speed and ran as fast as they could down the maze of hallways.

Until their ears weren't accompanied by extra footsteps.

“I think…. we lost...them,” Raven pants, trying her best to catch her breath. They both bend over and put their hands on their thighs, trying to even out their breathing.

 _In and out, in and ou_ _t,_ Clarke repeats it like a mantra. Her heart is hammering against her chest, threatening to burst each passing moment. She hasn't ran this much since...

“Yeah. I can’t believe we managed to outrun an AI,” Clarke responds, “we just have to keep going until we go back to your escape pod.” Clarke continued to walk, eyes focused up ahead--

“Wait,” Raven snatches her arm. “We have weapons after we knocked out those guards. We can fight back.” She pulled out a pistol from her side and started to twirl it around.

“And of course kill innocent lives,” Clarke playfully replies, following the way the gun dances around Raven's fingertips. “My goodness that’s such a fantastic idea. Lets just do that.” 

“No you idiot,” Raven smiled, putting her pistol back in its holder. “We have shock batons, silly. We can knock them out easily.”

“What about when they try to shoot us? We will have no choice but to fight back." 

“I thought you were all about peace Griffin,” Raven smirks once again. “I never knew you had a bad side to you after all.”

"I don’t meant it that way, I meant that we only fire or attack when _they attack_.” Clarke says slowly.

“Well, we can try to disarm them and make them resort to fist fighting.” Raven said. 

Clarke narrows her eyes. “Good idea, but how?”

Raven opens her mouth to answer, but the rumbling that vibrates their feet turned their heads to the noises behind them. 

"Sounds like Kane brought company with him.” Raven points out. "The three of them are really out to get us, that’s for sure.”

_That doesn’t sound like three...it sounds like twenty or something bigger--_

“Oh no!” Clarke gasped, “That stupid A.I. found more people to control!” 

The thundering footsteps got louder behind them as they saw more people heading their way. It wasn’t just Kane, Monty, and Jasper. Clarke tried to count the amount of people heading their way, but it was sure more than enough.

“Run!” Raven screeched, “We won’t have much time before they resort to-

A bullet went off behind them as Clarke ducked, hitting a nearby wall.

"That was close,” Raven said, “We have to fire back Clarke. I’ll cover you before-"

Clarke took off, yanked Raven as another bullet went off, it ricocheted off the ground. 

Clarke was about to shove her forward when a bullet pierced through Raven's amour. Blood quickly trickled down the thick fabric of her vest. Clarke gasped but Raven gripped her arm, eyes pleading in desperation. "Just keep running!" 

They did so, running through the endless maze once again, until Raven stumbled. 

“We can't just keep running, but I know how to lose them,” Clarke says. “I’m going to have to waste an important weapon in the process.” 

Before Raven could protest, Clarke quickly grabbed her own baton and switched it on. The guards coming up from behind suddenly came to a halt.

Kane signaled for them to stop. 

“You don’t have to do this,” Kane starts, his blank face void of any emotion. “you don’t have to run away. Just submit to the unity that we can turn everyone on this Ark from violence to serenity.” 

"No." 

Clarke turned on the baton and flung it with all of her might towards the guards, then pulled out her pistol and shot it mid air. Raven looked in awe as they both saw the electricity and combustion spread every where. The guards all screamed in pain as the electricity sunk into their skin and veins.

“This will buy us some time,” Raven said. “Come on, let's go!” 

Clarke and Raven both sprinted quickly away from the scene that they caused. 

***

**ASSEMBLY ROOM**

Clarke cursed to the gods and remembered that this wasn’t a good sign. 

_This is a dead end._ They both stopped.

The deathly silence was consuming the space that they were in.

Clarke lowered herself down to the floor and started to pick at her fingernails. Usually the silence used to consume her and make her feel lost, the amount of torture it used to do to her made her go insane. It made her crash against the massive tidal waves of her own thoughts.

Thoughts of her dad being floated and how she wished she could get him back.

Memories of them spending time together always flooded her mind, it was the only source of true joy and content in her life.

All of it was ripped away from her like a bandage from a wound.

There were some days that she felt like she wanted to scream until her throat was sore. 

“Hey,” Raven slumped down beside her, interrupting her train of thought. “There’s something I have to tell you, which you won’t like at all.”

“What is it? You seem very bothered,” Clarke used her right hand to cup Raven's cheek, eyes widening slightly at her face. "You look more pale now. Are you okay?"

Raven sighed and shifted so that Clarke could see her chest. There was a tear in her uniform with a massive red stain around it.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to help you much longer. My time is now limited.” 

_No way._

Her heart dropped dead, her vision started to get blurry.

_No, this can’t be right. I must be imagining things._

“No, no no,” Clarke shakes her head. “Raven I can’t lose you _too._ ” She ripped a piece of her own fabric from her arm and tried her best to wrap it around Raven’s chest.

“That should stop the bleeding, but I don’t know how much blood you lost, or how deep the bullet got into your chest. You’re lucky that it wasn’t a direct hit to an organ.” Clarke quickly tightened the fabric and helped Raven up.

“But you’re such a great friend, you know,” Raven gave her a weak smile. “You don’t give up, and you’re so resilient and resourceful. I’ve always seen you in class, I admire your ability to put up with Murphy. Most people I know would’ve ripped out his guts due to all his stupid remarks.”

“No problem,” Clarke laughed, “I just can’t lose another person who means a lot to me. Even in the short amount of time we got to know each other during Earth Studies, I won’t ever regret meeting you.”

Raven pulled Clarke in for a hug as they both embraced each other.

“We can do this,” She whispers. “As long as we have each other to count on, we can escape the Ark from this madness.”

Clarke was the first to pull out from the hug and checked Raven’s bullet wound one last time.

“How are we going to escape in the first place, do you know the way back to the vents?” Clarke asks.

Raven snickers, “Of course, silly. We just need to get inside the assembly room and open up the vents.”

Both girls walked up to the door and tried to push it. Unfortunately, the door wouldn’t budge.

“Of all the times this door is locked, it has to be now?” Clarke groans, throwing her hands up.“Right when we’re getting hunted down by an A.I.” 

“Don’t worry Griffin,” Raven says, “This lock is easy to pick.” Raven found some metal on the ground and examined the lock. She put the metal inside and squinted. Clarke noticed she was in a focused trance so she decided to back away and keep watch. 

“Got it!” Raven says in another heartbeat. “Now just give me a few more minutes before we can easily go through the vents before-”

She jumped in shock as she heard a clang right next to the door. 

“There they are! Capture the two rebels, they wouldn’t submit to Kane!” 

“They found us,” She quickly fumbled with the pistol case with sweaty hands and finally pulled out her pistol. “I’ll cover you, quick kick the door open!” 

“Aim for their hands and legs, That will make them drop their guns!”

Clarke nodded at Raven’s comment and started firing at the guards advancing towards them. The guards yelped in pain one by one and started dropping their weapons. Shots were fired from both sides. Clarke tried her best to make sure the guards couldn’t fire at Raven. Clarke suddenly felt a searing pain down her side as blood started to gush down her leg. She clenched her teeth in response to the bullet wounds as she fired more rounds at the guards.

“We don’t have much time Raven!” Clarke grunted, “Hurry up!”

Without much hesitation, Raven managed to pick the door and kicked the door open. She quickly motioned for Clarke to come inside. Clarke shot a few more bullets at the guards before slipping inside. 

“Quick, lock it from inside with the code!” Clarke commanded, “I’ll barricade the door while you do so.”

Raven found the code and started tapping with her fingers furiously. Clarke found a metal bar beside them and bent down to reach it. She winced in pain as she bent down to pick it up. She tried to grip it firmly with her sweaty hands and slid the metal across the heavy doors. She limped to grab a few chairs and pressed them against the door as hard as she could. Raven glanced at Clarke’s bullet wound but didn’t respond for a bit as she locked the door from the inside. Heavy pounding started to fill their ears from the other side of the door. They both realized that the A.I. had more puppets to control and use against them. 

“Shit,” Clarke sat down and quickly ripped out another piece of fabric. She slowly wrapped it around her leg and tightened it as much as she could. The fabric quickly turned dark red from the wound. “Don’t worry Raven, you aren’t the only person who got shot today.” She laughed it off. Raven saw the knot around her leg and breathed out a sigh of relief. 

“How does your chest feel anyways, Raven?”

“I feel like shit, you bought me some time, but I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to help you.” Raven’s eyes were baggy and her face was a little more pale.The tight fabric wrapped around her chest turned dark red, some blood managed to ooze out of the bandaging. Raven clutched her chest and grunted. “We don’t have much time before they break down these doors, we need to get through the vents and into the escape pod.” Both girls went to the back of the classroom and noticed all the chairs were knocked out of place. Clarke tried not to remember the events that happened a few hours earlier, but snapped out of her trance as Raven gestured to come inside the vent with her. Clarke closed the vent behind her, letting Raven lead the way back to their original hideout. The tight space around her was making her leg hurt even more as she followed Raven. 

“We’re here again, only this time you don’t have to worry about breaking a bone.” 

Raven opened the vent and dropped down. Clarke followed suit. 

“Now we just need to set up this escape pod before they find out where we went. We have a bit more time, but be prepared for anything. Kane could easily find us since the A.I. has eyes everywhere.” Both girls got to work preparing the escape pod. Installing, fixing, troubleshooting, and doing everything they can to try to launch this as fast as they could.

Their main goal, and only goal now was to escape the devastation caused on the Ark. Clarke felt a sharp pain of sadness in her heart for all those people that she couldn’t save, it was almost like the day she lost her father when the guards ripped him away from her just because he knew the ugly truth. Except this time, the A.I. had ripped her friends and all the people from the Ark from her. The bullet wound on her leg felt like nothing anymore since she couldn’t even process this horrible day. Who knew that one average day on this space station could turn into their worst nightmares coming to life. 

Clarke’s thoughts were snatched from her by Raven shaking her with happiness. She didn’t even know what was going on as Raven started blabbering stuff out of her mouth. 

“It’s almost ready,” Raven exclaimed, “I just started the launch sequence and then we can get the hell out of here!” Relief washed over Clarke as she pulled Raven in for another hug. 

“I know this day was insane, and usually I’m not once to curse. But what the fuck happened today?” Raven giggled at her comment as they both sat beside the escape pod. 

“All I know is that we were supposed to be sent down to Earth with the so-called 100, but I didn’t get why we were attacked since we found out earlier than expected.”

“Do you remember that bomb attack that changed Chancellor Jaha?” Clarke asked. Raven nodded. “I’m starting to put the pieces together since he acted strange after the bomb happened. I guess the A.I. convinced him to take the chip.”

“That makes much more sense,” Raven replied, “I guess intelligence does run in the Griffin family. Now come on, we need to get going-

A noise from above was heard as a figure fell through the vents. It was no one other than Kane himself.

“When can this A.I. bitch leave us alone?” 

They both knew he was trying to stop them from escaping. “Raven quick, prepare the pod for launch before it’s too late-” Clarke was shoved into the wall as Kane punched her across the cheek and kneed her in the gut. Clarke howled in pain. She was punched once again, blood gushed out and fell from her mouth. She wiped her mouth and grew more mad. Before Kane could attack her again she lunged at him with full force and gripped his arms and threw him onto the ground. She picked him back up and grabbed him by the hem of his shirt back and struck him. She started to notice that he was also bleeding and shoved him against the wall.

“You think you can control us,” Clarke whispered against his ear, “You got it all wrong. You will leave us alone and get away!” Right before Clarke could do anything, Kane hit her square in the jaw. Clarke stumbled backwards and cupped her mouth as she spat out more blood. Kane used the opportunity to slam into Clarke. Clarke winced when Kane gripped her shirt tightly. Kane hissed and threw her onto the ground. She tried to scream but nothing came out of her throat as the wind was knocked out of her. Kane put both hands on her throat. Clarke tried to remove him from choking her with her steel grip. _This is not how I'm going to die._

“Raven….” Clarke gasped, “Please...hurry….”

Her face started to become more pale as she struggled to get free from his grasp. 

“You don’t have to keep being tortured like this,” Kane said, “You just have to submit to the chip and you won’t have to suffer anymore. Just turn yourself in and let everything go.”

“You….can….kiss…..my..ass, you fucking bot.”

Clarke moved her arms from her throat and gouged her thumbs into Kane’s eyes. Kane howled in pain as he let go of her from his steel grip. Clarke quickly grabbed him by the throat and jabbed him with full force across the face. Before he could fight back, she slammed him against the wall. 

“You just want to control me,” Clarke spat, “You just want to make sure that you control everyone on this Ark like your puppet.” She slammed him once more against the wall before Kane fell to the ground. Clarke found a bar of metal beside her and smiled.

“Game over, nice try though.” She raised it up in the air and whacked Kane into unconsciousness. Clarke dropped the piece of metal and spat more blood out of her mouth.

“Whoa Griffin, how did you learn to fight like that,” Raven said. She was standing outside the door to the pod and was admiring her skills. It looked like the pod was all set up. Clarke wiped out the blood from her mouth and tried to fix her messy hair. Raven noticed that Clarke took quite a beating with dry blood and scratches all over her face. 

“Spending all that time locked up made me do...insane things.”

Raven tried to picture what she meant but felt a wave of pain since she didn’t know how much Clarke went through. She opened up the door for her and grabbed something from the table. _Holy shit, how and when did Raven make a bomb. Also, how did she not fail in that process._

“In case Kane wakes up, I’m setting a bomb in here so that no one can try following us.”

She heard Raven press a few buttons. She was about to hug Raven until- 

  
  
  


**BANG!**

  
  
  


The whole room went silent. Raven gasped in pain and looked at her chest. Blood poured out of her and into the dark fabric, turning it maroon. Clarke was stunned and started to shake. _No...NO! NO! I CAN’T LOSE ANOTHER FRIEND._ She saw Kane with a pistol that had smoke coming out from it. 

“You fucking asshole!” Clarke grabbed her gun out before Kane could react and shot him square in the chest, over and over again. The noises of the bullets filled the air. Tears came out of her and blurred her vision. She made sure Kane couldn’t try to attack them as she gripped her pistol and shot him once more in the heart. Kane’s life slipped before his eyes as he fell to the ground. He was in a puddle of his own blood. 

Clarke quickly walked towards Raven and crouched by her side.

“Oh Clarke, you can’t save me, the bomb is going to go off,” Raven weakly said, “We are near the hydra-zine tanks so the bomb will…”

Clarke knew what she meant and started to sob even more.

“If you find anyone on Earth. Please tell them about us….about the people from space.” Clarke cried into Raven’s chest, shaking and on her knees. 

“Thank you for being there for me Clarke, now go save yourself from this…”

Raven shut her eyes. Clarke had no more tears to shed, her eyes were red and she had a headache from all the crying….

  
  


**Raven was dead**

It was all her own fault. If she hit Kane one more time than she could’ve finished the job.

The ticking noises from the timer reminded her that she needed to get the hell out of here. She finally let Raven go and got into the escape pod. She pressed a few buttons and switches before the pod came back to life. 

STARTING LAUNCH SEQUENCE IN

10…

9…

8…

7…

6…

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

She lurched forward as the pod detached itself from its original space. She heard the thrusters come to life as she peered through the window to see the Earth closer than she usually did.

She turned around to see the Ark and all of its beauty. 

_Goodbye, old home. I can’t believe it had to be this way._ Clarke stared at the Ark and tried to embrace the view. _Too bad you had to go down so soon_.

She heard noises of an explosion as the Ark started to fall apart. The bomb was so powerful that it managed to destroy the Ark within seconds. Everything she saw was being ripped to shreds. Everything she knew was destroyed. Her home was gone even though she was going back to the ground. 

She opened her mouth to sob but nothing came out of her mouth. Hot tears fell down Clarke’s face as she pounded her fists against the glass.

Her face tensed up and started to ache as she cried to herself in the emptiness of the pod. She was completely and utterly alone.

Clarke Griffin is the last of her kind. They promised her and everyone else that they would return home after 3 more years.

But she was the only one who is going to do so.

She was the only survivor on the Ark. 

_I bear it so that my people don’t have to._


	3. All the Unknown Adventures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I tried to remember what happened in the landing...
> 
> I imagined that in an alternate universe, everything would've been so different.

_You should've seen their faces..._

_You should've seen the vacant spaces..._

_You should've seen all these familiar places..._

_But I didn't know you existed at the time, otherwise you would be by my side._

**I: All the Unknown Adventures**

I couldn’t remember what happened before everything went black. 

Who am I? Where am I? Why is everything dark?

I could feel myself drifting away, but I fought against my consciousness. A loud ringing noise pierced through my ears.

My eyelids slowly started to open up, but my vision was clouded like a thick fog.

My thundering heartbeat pounded in my chest and blocked out all the noises around me.

 _Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out._ I attempted to move myself but winced at the searing pain that aches all over my body. _I feel so immobilized. I hope I'm not paralyzed or I'll truly die a terrible and painful death._

My vision started to clear up. I noticed I was surrounded by trees towering above me.

I could feel a cool breeze on my cheek and noticed that the leaves were slowly dancing with the wind. I could barely make out my escape pod that is a few hundred feet away from me.

I shifted in order to get up but my body was screaming at me to not do so. I grunted in agony as I finally managed to sit up. I touched my face and cringed at the amount of dirt and blood that was smeared all over my face.

I heard a few birds chirping in the distance, singing their own melodies. I heard a quite crinkle in the leaves below me and saw a few mutant insects crawling near me. I didn't have the time or energy to scream or panic. I inhaled the air and thanked the Ark that it wasn't radioactive. I used all my strength to get up and stand on my own two feet. I stretched out my sore muscles and tried to ignore my pain as much as possible. I took a deep breath in and started to notice my near surroundings.

_So this is my introduction to the Earth._ I peered around. _Quite a rough introduction but it is very worth it._

I sniffed the air and saw smoke near the distance. My head quickly turned towards the smoke.

 _Pike taught us that smoke meant fire, and that fire meant other humans and possible civilization_. My face brightened at the thought and decided to run towards the smell and the gray clouds. The ground crunching beneath me reminded me that I wasn't on the space station, that I was where I was originally supposed to be, until the war took everything away from us. I could hear myself trying to catch up to my breath as I rested alongside a thick tree.

The smell of ash reminded me that I was getting closer to the smoke. I managed to be in sync with my breath and continued to run after the smoke. Through the thick leaves and bushes I could finally make out a small clearing that contained a massive gray metal structure.

I glared and tried to figure out what the structure was. Some parts of it were torn off completely, while other parts had severe burn marks. I noticed that this was some sort of advanced chunk of metal.

I walked closer to the structure in astonishment of how it hadn't fallen sideways. I made a trip and slowly scouted the outside parts of the structure and noticed that it contained rocket boosters. I decided to be dumb and stupid enough to touched the burn marks of the ship. I winced as it heat up my hand too quickly. I shook my almost-burnt hand and moved it from the more crusty and darker parts of the metal and continued to brush my hand across the battered walls.

I felt the different bumps and textures, trying to think of all the possible things that this could be. _A construction piece, A piece of irrelevant metal, An abandoned house that was burnt down..._ I huffed and tried to ponder what it was. _It seemed to have quite a safe landing._ I thought sarcastically. I saw all the entangled vines and leaves cover parts of the broken ship. I gazed in astonishment at the destroyed pieces of metal. My eyes scanning it as I walked back towards the front and realized what it was.

It was some sort of drop ship that fell from the sky. 

_It must've fell from the Ark after the bomb that caused a chain reaction and burnt everything down._

_Oh Raven...._

_I really wish that you were here to see this beautiful earth._

Before going down a deep dark path into my thoughts of chaos,I noticed that the entrance was fully open.

Burnt curtain-like fabric preventing me from seeing the internal parts of the ship. I walked inside and coughed at the ashy smell that stanched up the whole drop ship. The sunlight tinkled in from above, giving me some light to help with my vision.

I noticed that there were about one hundred chairs that stretched across the whole ship. I even saw little harnesses and straps that were attached to each seat belt. I sat down on one of the seats and buckled in as a joke. "Safety first," I chuckled to myself. I tried to picture myself in the drop-ship trying not to panic with the 99 others, gripping onto my harness for dear life. _Finn would've probably not taken it seriously and would've floated around in the zero-G space trying to impress me and say the dreaded words that I hated so much (Princess)._

I detached myself from the seat and detected a ladder. Slowly but surely, I climbed up the ladder and opened a hatch.

 _Two floors, not bad for a drop-ship that was meant for a bunch of survivors_. I tried not to injure my sore leg as I bent over to shut the hatch. I found a flashlight beside me and clicked it, the bright light piercing through the darkness. I searched the room and saw rations of food, water, and other supplies. 

_We were supposed to share these with each other._ The thought stayed in my mind as I glanced at a small bag and shoved the supplies into it, trying to fill it up with as much as it could handle. I finally decided to go down the ladder as I exited the drop-ship. 

More endless thoughts and possibilities started to churn in my mind as I turned around to see it again, and all of it's ugly glory. From the inside, it looked a lot more torn up and destroyed. I saw more holes burned through the metal internally. The ship was the canvas, and the environment was the creator and the destroyer of it. A beautifully horrible piece of art work. Terrifying, yet so enticing. 

What if all 100 of us landed on Earth with the drop ship? 

What if we were able to settle down here and make our own civilization? 

What if we had actual conflicts and issues with one another?

What if we caused so much chaos and created an anarchy? 

What if we landed on the wrong side? 

_All I know is that we were supposed to go a place called Mount Weather if we made contact with the Earth._

All the possibilities...

  
All the what if's...

  
All the buts...

  
**All of the paths that I could've crossed...**

  
**All of the unknown dangers and encounters that I would never encounter.**

  
**I imagined that in an alternate universe, everything would've been so different.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh well...if those possibilities happened. If they ever did.


	4. Skaikru

_I didn't know that there would be any life on Earth._

_I thought I was the last person of mankind at one point, but I had hope._ _Hope that there would still be humanity after the ruthless devastation._ _Hope that I would meet someone like you._

_I don't have much to say..._

_The consuming loneliness was my greatest company, after my privacy was constantly being invaded up above. It was new, it was different, I still had to get used to it._

_But after I met you, I realized how much I needed you to comfort me._

Thunk!

Thunk!

Thunk!

Sweat started to drip from my chin, my breathing was ragged, my arms were stiff, and the ax that I made was starting to become heavier each time I tried to land some hits on the wood. I noticed that the sky was illuminated by a beautiful sunset off in the horizon. _How much more of this can I take before it gets too dark?_

Wood can be so hard to cut into pieces. Like seriously, I can’t even imagine how I’m going to build a shelter for myself.

Well, at least I don’t have to build a shelter. Now what am I going to do with all of this wood?

_“When you chop down trees and build wood. You have to make sure that you are able to start a fire._

_I will demonstrate to you kids how we are going to do so….”_

Random Earth Studies flashbacks. This could be useful to help me survive in this dangerous, yet beautiful Earth that I landed on. 

I scratched my head and tried to remember how to exactly to such a thing. "Hm..."

When Pike demonstrated how to start a fire, he used a stick and pierced a hole in the wood. He rubbed it together, and eventually the friction caused the wood to heat up. I remember that was one of the few times in that class that I actually paid full attention to. The rest of his lessons will hopefully seep back into my memory.

_"If you have wood, you have to remember how to start a fire or else you will be accompanied by the scary darkness every time you try to rest at night."_

I snapped a piece off the plank and used a knife that I found in the drop-ship to carve a hole in the thick bark. I jammed the stick into the hole and moved it around. I noticed that nothing was happening and tried harder to add more friction as I rubbed the wood.

"Ugh, seriously." I was about to give up and throw the wood out into the open until I saw a little bit of a white cloud rising from it.

 _Yes!_ I sprinted towards the other planks of wood inside the drop-ship and blew the smoke onto it. I prayed to the Ark that it would warm up. _For the love of the Ark and the heavens, please warm up._

_I can’t afford to have any more mistakes and losses at this time._

After a few lengthy minutes of staring at the wood, black smoke started rising as a small heat illuminated the darkening sky. My face light up in joy.

As much as I miss Ark Station, it was a pain in the ass most of the time. It wasn't just Murphy that bothered me, he was the most insignificant reason on my list of complaints of the Ark. I could write an entire book describing how awful the Ark was and still wouldn't be satisfied. I almost had no words to describe the amount of pressure that was put on us. Messing up and causing one small crime could kill you. The Ark had a very cutthroat nature, and since I knew about a future culling that I would never experience, I was always told by my mom and the counsel to stay quiet.

I was lucky that I survived and didn't immediately get floated.

But the wild, I felt more alive and free. I never felt more liberated in my life. I felt all of the tense weight that I had finally lift off me. 

There were no laws to abide to, it was just me and the earth and all of it's glory. 

* * *

The sky was consumed by black ink that stretched across my view.

A blanket of darkness covered the woods as the melodies usually sung by the birds came to a halt. The fire in front of me was dancing around in the night, shining like the light in the darkness. There was this mesmerizing spell that the light put on me as I stared into the fire without looking away. I felt like the first human on Earth who discovered fire. Looking at the astounding beauty of such a basic necessity. _I guess history does repeat itself after all._ The fire was my temporary anchor that kept me sane from going crazy in the night. I laid down to shut my eyes as I drifted into another world...

_“Quick, run!”_

Not this again.

This was the second time I had this dream and knew what to do.

_I ran towards the voice and made sure not to slam into the wall like last time._ _I sprinted as fast as I could from the footsteps and saw myself in the intersection like last time. I braced myself for impact as the same hooded figure knocked me backwards and covered my mouth._

_“Quiet! They’ll hear you. And when they do, you would wish you were dead.”_

_I knew to keep my mouth shut as I heard the thundering footsteps pass us. I knew what to expect at this point, the dream....or nightmare was supposed to end soon. Except this time, when the hooded figure let go of me, my lungs stopped functioning._

_I grabbed my hands to my throat and realized that I was choking._ **This is not how this ended last time.**

_I fell on the ground trying to inhale any air into my lungs. I croaked and knew that this was my last breath-_

The nightmare was over.

It was pitch black again and I realized that I was pinned to the ground by someone.

 _Please tell me that this isn't real life_.

I tried to speak in protest but the person covered my mouth. This wasn't the dream. This was real life. I was surprised that the person didn't kill me or do anything to harm me, and let go of my grasp.

The silence became deafening, consuming everything in the drop-ship.

_I guess that person wanted me to stay quiet or something so that they could kidnap me._

I felt a light breeze and peered towards the entrance. It was wide open.

_I'm so dumb_.

"Make sure that your shelter is covered up and safe from predators or other possible things that could harm you. If you can't do so, you might have to improvise in order to make sure that you're safe from all types of harm."

A felt a blade press against my throat, the person yanked me upwards from my position on the floor.

I could barely tell that he was a guy when I saw some of his masculine features.

His muscles, posture, and gruffness in his voice (even though he didn't speak a word).

The massive lump in my throat preventing me from even daring to speak a word. He nudged me forward and out of my drop-ship shelter.

When I felt a piece of thick rope around both of my hands, my mind started to race. He yanked me forward as we went deeper into the dark forest.

 _A prisoner both on land and in space? Quite impressive for someone as insignificant as me._

The guy whipped his head to search around.

He seemed kind of paranoid to me.

"Hey..." I whispered, "Where are we going-"

The man quickly turned around and put a knife to my throat. I swallowed a massive chunk of air and my brain froze. 

_"If you're taken hostage or are in an extremely dangerous situation, don't even try to cause any sort of noise pollution."_

We kept walking for a few more minutes, with him yanking at my constraints signalling that he didn't have all day to deal with me. 

We stopped.

He didn't take me to a strong hold or anything like that, but he bent down and kicked a few rocks and pieces of wood to make way for what looked like an entrance to the underground.

He shoved me forward as I bent down, not giving a care if I was injured. My leg screaming at me for the pain and unbearable pressure. He kicked me towards the edge and grunted again.

I sighed and reluctantly jumped down.

I didn't have anytime to scream in surprise as I hit the stone floor. The man above seemed to notice my pain and quickly jumped in after me. He closed the entrance and motioned for me to lay down in a corner. I exhaled in relief when he undid my rope handcuffs, but immediately panicked as he gripped my arm and pinned it on the wall. I didn't even bother attacking him or doing anything as he put an iron handcuff that was attached to the wall. 

"Who are you," I said. My voice pierced through the silence, startling him, "And why are you picking on me. I'm not useful at all, you might as well kill me while you're at it."

He looked at me and didn't say a word.

He shuffled towards the other side of the small cave hide-out and ignited a torch.

I identified realistic drawings that were carved on the wall. There were drawings of my escape pod, the drop-ship, and a silhouette of myself.

_This guy was watching me the whole time, wasn't he._

I saw more drawings on a different wall and saw a girl with _dirty blonde_ hair, a tower that stretched towards the stars, and a crowd of people shouting. 

_I guess I wasn't the only one here after all._

He made direct eye contact with me and walked towards me with his knife.

This was it, wasn't it. This was where I was going to die. 

To be honest I felt awful that I was going to die without meeting other people that survived the nuclear war. It was just-

**"I'm Lincoln. And I just saved your life."**

* * *

“So...you’re telling me you’ve been watching my every move ever since I landed here?”

"Pretty much," He deadpanned, "I just wanted to see if your intentions were to attack or invade my people's land." 

I was still chained to the wall and saw Lincoln pace around the room.

His cave looked pretty cozy, there were four torches in each corner of the hide-out.

The cave was filled with his drawings that were so beautifully illustrated. It seemed as if this man had all the time in the world to be pursuing a hobby during these times.

“No wonder you had time to draw,” I said, “You must’ve had lots of spare time.”

He nodded and seemed to have gotten my joke, his stone face still present. 

“I don’t know if I should be telling you this," He started, "But I’m a scout that always keeps a lookout for threats.”

My eyes widened at what he said, noticing the knife that was beside him. He saw what I was looking at and chuckled. 

"Don't worry you seem pretty harmless to me, I think that you won't even hurt a fly." He sat down in front of me and started to play with his knife.

 _If only you saw me beating up and fighting_ _Kane to the death._ I thought. _You would've definitely changed your mind._

"Why are you telling me this information?" I asked, "I don't know what to do with it at all." Lincoln stopped playing with his knife and looked at me. 

"You might be resourceful," Lincoln replied, shrugging his shoulders, "You could have some use to the _commander_ and my people. I have seen spies and other warriors crossing into Trikru territory. But i’ve never met anyone like you.”

Oh how cheesy. He sounded like Finn for a second, but felt relieved that he said that in a different way. _Wait, what’s Trikru?_.

I tilted my head sideways and gave him a confused glance. 

“Trikru is one of the twelve clans under the coalition.” He responded before I could ask.

“We own this territory in the woods. Some of us thought that your crash landing was an air attack on our land from Azgeda until we realized that it was just some pieces of metal that fell from the sky. I decided to see for myself if it wasn’t the Ice nation launching another attack against us.”

 _This made a bit more sense._ “I also observed and told my clan that there was no one in the escape pod, or in that drop-ship. Otherwise, everything would have changed.”

_I couldn’t even imagine what it would be like if the others were in the wild with me. They probably would’ve started a battle or something. If only that happened…._

“Wait,” I said, before he could start explaining even more, “Why didn’t you tell them about me. You could just say that there was one survivor and-"

“They would’ve kept you hostage and tortured you for information,” Lincoln interrupted, “Trikru has had a rough share of spies trying to steal information from our lands, so they would’ve been fed up with you.

Like I said earlier, **I saved your life**.” I nodded my head in agreement and realized how dumb my question was. 

“So back to what I was saying. You probably are wondering what our commander is like.

The commander we have currently is the first one to ever rise to power and unite all of the clans together. _Heda_ was also our first ever commander recorded in the history books. There were rumors of a commander that fell from the sky, or space, but there was some evidence that proved it was false.

Our commander acted like the opposite of what we expected. _Heda_ displays a peaceful nature and would actually be intrigued with you and your people, since you fell from the sky you would be called Skaikru.”

My emotions hit me hard as I internally felt my thoughts stab me like a knife.

Lincoln continued to ramble about the history of his people.

_“You and your people…”_

_“You and your people…”_

_“your people…”_

_“Your people…”_

The voice replayed over and over in her head again as the room around me started to shrink.

My throat started to close in on me as I remembered the explosion, the gunshots, the screams, the bloodshed- 

“Hey!”

Lincoln’s voice made me snap back into reality, “I’ve been asking you this question for a few minutes...

_Where are the rest of your people?”_

I used all of my willpower to not break down in front of this man, even though he was generous I decided to cut him the slack of me about to break down.

I inhaled and cleared my throat, stringing all my guts together to look him in the eye.

**“** They’re all dead Lincoln," I spat,

 **"I am the only survivor of** **_Skaikru._** **”**

I bit my lip and teared away from Lincoln’s gaze.

I stared at the stone floor and it’s texture, trying to think of anything other than what I just said.

Those words basically summed up everything that I was trying to process. It was a cold slap in the face of my fate that could have easily been avoided.

My lip started to throb when I realized how much pressure I put onto it. I finally looked back at Lincoln, who looked at me with an empathetic gaze. I didn’t care if I was being held prisoner at this point, I just wanted someone who was alive to understand my pain.

“It’s okay. It must be hard to be an outcast. Your story must be a hard one to tell.”

He grabbed my arm that was cuffed to the wall and undid the chain, setting me free. "Wait," I asked, "Why are you setting me free?"

Lincoln walked to another part of his hideout and came back with a rope and a blindfold. "You might need these, Skai girl," he said, "We're going on a trip to TonDC at first light tomorrow." 

"Woah, woah, woah," I said, my eyes widened at the rope, remembering how he handcuffed me earlier, "Aren't they going to kill me and stab me to death?" 

"No," Lincoln said, "You won't have to worry, you're coming with me as a hostage."

"Are you kidding me?!" I exclaimed, "There's no way your just going to turn me in and leave me to die."

"We don't have any other choice," Lincoln said, "They will eventually find out that I'm keeping a prisoner hostage. The other scouts always check each other's hide-outs for spy's. If I turn you in myself, they will most likely give more lenience and a reward." 

"Fine," I said, "But if I die, it's your fault."

* * *

My feet were starting to ache, my left leg was throbbing every time I put pressure on it. I couldn't see anything but the ground beneath me.

Lincoln tugged me to go forward every time I stopped in place to contemplate our plan. "Today, Skai girl-"

"Stop calling me that," I spat, "I have a name. I'm Clarke Griffin." 

"Well hurry up _Clarke of Skaikru_ ," he demanded, "We need to get to TonDC before dark."

"Wait, DC, like Washington DC?" I asked.

I heard Lincoln sigh. 

"No, just TonDC." 

I didn't press the matter anymore as I continued to march towards my death. _Either I trusted this man to let him turn me in and die._ I thought, _Or he will get a bounty and keep me as a prisoner for the rest of his life. How amusing. All the possible choices I could pick from...._

My heartbeat started to race as I heard distant noises of people.

I felt a big lump in my throat, my hands started to shake and my mind was racing at one hundred miles per hour.

The noises started to get closer and closer as I could make out what some people were saying to me.

My heart was slamming against my chest as I tried to even out my breathing.

"Another spy!" 

"Kill her!"

"Give her head to the commander!"

"The Ice Queen shall pay!" 

"Burn her alive!" 

"What a fantastic introduction," I said. I couldn't hear Lincoln reply back as my mouth filled up with a lump of fabric. 

_I thought he promised that he wouldn't gag me-_

"I'm going to kick your back," he said, "Kneel so It'll look like you're not fighting back and acknowledge your defeat." 

I braced for impact as he strike me on the back with his foot. I groaned into the gag as I knelled on the ground. The sounds of people chanting for my death filled up my ears. I assumed I was in the center of the town as the voices got louder. 

This was Lincoln's cue to introduce me to the town. At this point, he would be able to lure the general in.

I imagined through my blind fold him shushing the crowd with his hand as the voices started to die down.

"Hello TonDC," Lincoln said, "I have a very important person that I want to introduce to you all. 

This is a spy that fell from the sky. She belongs to Skaikru...

_That fucking piece of shit. He was supposed to say that I was a hostage found in the crash near TonDC_

and she will face the price!" _You fucking asshole-_

I tried to speak in protest but the gag blocked my throat. The crowd roared all around me as they started to chant:

"Kill her!"

"Kill her!"

"Kill her!" 

"Kill her!" 

"Kill her!" 

**"SILENCE."**

A voice screeched through the chaos. Everyone suddenly hushed.

The deathly silence consumed the whole town.

"Care to explain what is going on?" said the voice. I heard Lincoln's footsteps walk towards the voice. 

"I found someone from a far away Clan," Lincoln said, "She is from Skaikru, she fell from space with that metal ship."

Gasps were heard as the whole town started talking again. _Oh boy, I don't like where this is going._

**"I SAID SILENCE. NO ONE ELSE SHALL SPEAK."**

I heard footsteps approach me. 

"I will see her myself, If you are lying you will pay with your blood."

My face was gripped roughly as my chin was tilted toward the sky. 

My blindfold was untied as I saw a girl with dirty blonde hair staring into my face with a glare. 

_It's the girl from the drawing in Lincoln's cave,_ I thought.

I kept staring into her gaze, trying not to let her intimidate me or frighten me. 

"Take her to the prison underground."

The next thing I felt was an unbearable pain as I was smacked into unconsciousness.


	5. Primitive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References to Fog of War (2x06)

_There is still hope, right?_

_There is still humanity left here, right?_

_There is still sanity left in me, right?_

_All these unanswered questions, yet so many possible solutions._

**IV: Primitive**

"Wake up!"

"Wake up!"

"Wake up!"

My mind jolted while I was shaken by another prisoner. He was wearing a torn black long sleeve shirt and base pants. 

It looked like a day had passed before I woke up from my unconsciousness inside of a cellar.

My eyes tried to adjust to the light after sleeping to kill time.

I tried stretching and getting up but the tug from the chains at my foot reminded me that I couldn't escape. There was a lot more light than I expected, but the cellar smelled like dirt after a downpour.

"What is it," I croaked. I still couldn't remember his name, but I knew who he was. He looked at me with his piercing blue eyes and glared at me.

"You were asleep for almost one day," he hissed, "Besides, they still haven't given us food or water to drink since then."

"So I didn't miss out on anything then," I replied, "What are you even here for?"

"Same thing as you," He said, "I was banished from my lands and they thought that I was another Ice Nation spy trying to attack TonDC." 

"We're not really on the same boat here bud," I said, "I crash landed a few days ago from the Sky. They just assumed I was a spy."

"And your name....?" he asked, his brow quirking up.

"Clarke Griffin, why?"

He looked at me with amusement. "So you're the infamous _Wanheda._ "

"Sorry, what?"

"You're now known as _Wanheda_ , or The Commander of Death," He said with a darker tone, "Rumors spread that you were the one who managed to burn down Trikru territory with your ship, killing off warriors and species of animals in an instant." 

"Wait what," I said, trying to process this information, "So I had a bounty on my head?"

"Well, you also managed to kill off some Azgeda warriors that were marching on Trikru territory. It was supposed to be a sneak attack until you and your stupid ship fell from the sky. So yeah you now have a bounty on your head."

I processed what he said. _Every time I think it gets better, it gets worse._

“How do you know all of this….” I looked at him. He sighed, “The name’s Roan. Pleasure to meet you.” 

“As if we hadn’t met before. Anyways I thought you were banished from your lands and sent to exile?”

“Well,” Roan said, “I’ve been acting as a spy in order to redeem myself. My own mother kicked me out. That was the worst part.”

I held in a laugh since I knew he would try to rip my guts apart. 

"So they just want us to starve to death here?” I asked, looking around the cell. “Or better yet weaken us to the point of starvation.” I chuckled a laugh, "What’s the point anyways?”

“All I know is that a guy with tattoos is Gustus and is in a high rank in the Trikru army.”

The cell door burst open as some guards entered their area. An older more muscular man that Roan has just described moved past them and glared at us. I quickly got up and realized how tall he was. He cleared his throat when Roan didn’t stand up. He motioned for the guards with his eyes as they approached him and gripped him roughly to stand up. 

“Two spies caught within the same day,” Gustus growled, “Both for different reasons, both from different clans.” He paced back and forth without tearing his gaze from us. “You both are very lucky you know that right? Usually we don’t like spies sneaking into our territory, but since you guys have bounties on your heads this will be a lot easier.”

He slowly took out a dagger from his side pocket and approached us. _Well I guess this is where my story ends. He’s going to kill us both._ He dropped the knife on the ground. “If you want to live to tell your story then one of you has to kill the other. If you fail, then both of you will be dead. You have until tomorrow at first light before I will have both of your heads.” 

Behind them, a girl who was wearing a worn out shirt and dark pants slipped inside with a jar. She clutched onto the jar as if it were her only food. She made eye contact with Gustus but quickly turned her head away with intimidation. She sat down in the corner of the room and put her jar beside her.

“Let me know when the deed is done.” Gustus told the girl. Him and his guards walked away and slammed the cell door shut. I looked at the dagger on the floor and realized how fucked I was. _It’s either Roan dies or I die. How hard could that be?_

“Its either you or me who lives _Wanheda,_ ” Roan said, “If I was any other person I would’ve loved to rip that throat of yours and took out your intensities and-“

“Thank you for the visuals,” I interrupted, “but that wouldn’t really show us that we want peace or any negotiations. It would just show that we resolved this issue with more bloodshed.” 

“You see all of this chaos and still want peace?” Roan started to laugh in a mocking way. “Well we don’t have much of a choice now do we? 

We can’t just sit here until we rot because then the generals will have both of our heads to admire in their trophy rooms.” 

“You’re right,” the girl piped in from across the room. “The guards said you don’t have much of a choice.” 

“Well,” I said, “from where I come from. We usually try to resolve stuff in the least harmful ways. We could work together and-“

“I am not working with someone _like you.”_ Roan hissed, “These people are all primitive. They just want blood and glory. The commander is the first one to have dumb resolutions such as peace-“

“Talking about the commander right now isn’t doing much.” I spat, “And maybe the commander is right. 

Maybe peace is an option...

We just need to end this stupid cycle of war of endless violence!” I shouted. 

I sighed in defeat and frustration as I rubbed my temples. I took a glance at the girl who shifted a bit, still avoiding eye contact with us. 

Roan slowly walked up to the girl and bent down. 

“What’s your name, girl?” Roan asked. The girl tensed up a bit but turned her face slightly. 

“Lexa.” She said in a low voice. Her green eyes were full of uncertainty toward Roan. 

“Do you know if there’s a way out of this?” He asked, “Can you explain to this idiot what will happen if we don’t do the deed?” He said in a more frustrated tone. 

“The generals will kill you and slit your throats for not cooperating.” 

He walked away from Lexa and looked at me. 

“We don’t have all the time in the world. One of us has to do it to the other.” 

I stared at the knife for a few seconds as a thought came into my head. I picked up the blade and turned back to Roan. 

“You’re right. There’s only one way out of this.” 

I walked toward Roan and saw him tense up. He looked at the knife and toward my face. I came closer to him, but flipped the knife to give him the handle. 

“You have to kill me then.” I said. Roan looked at me with a surprised glance. “I can’t do that. The generals will kill me for killing others, since violence is all we know.” 

“It’s not murder if I’m willing to die for this cause.” I replied. “It’s called sacrifice.”

Roan still didn’t move an inch. “As much as I would love to kill you and have your reward for the bounty on your head. I would die anyways. You have to kill me _Wanheda._ ”

I stepped backwards, still gripping the knife. 

“Fine then, but won’t let you die for me.” 

I slit my wrist with the sharp blade. I clenched my teeth and cringed at the pain. It sliced through my skin as blood started to rapidly flow down my arm. I felt a bit dizzy and fell onto the floor. Roan’s face turned pale as he went toward my side. 

“No, they’ll think I murdered you.” Roan panicked. He turned toward the girl. “Help us! Help us!” 

The girl hesitated for a moment before lending him a piece of her fabric. He tied it around my wrist. 

“It’s not murder if it’s sacrifice. I did it for a peaceful cause.” I croaked, “Why did you let me live.” 

Roan didn’t answer the question, but turned toward the girl. He grabbed the dagger and put the blade against the girl's throat. 

“No!” I cried, “Let the girl go, she has nothing to do with our dilemmas!” Roan didn’t listen and huffed in annoyance. “If we take this girl hostage then we can negotiate our way out of this. They don't care for her life-” 

“That’s not how it works. I said leave the girl out of this. Violence isn’t the answer to violence if you want peace just like I do-“

“That doesn’t work here. I don't want peace. Things have changed you idiot.” Roan hissed. Before I could protest even more the guards came back into the cell. 

“Let her go now!” I demanded, “she’s not involved in this. We are.”

“Gustus,” Roan said, “If you want information, then let us go. Otherwise I’ll slit her throat-“

“He made his choice.” The girl interrupted, "This one is mine." She elbowed Roan and threw him onto the ground. She took the knife and pressed it against his neck, then stood up. 

“I've heard what I needed to hear.” _How does she know Gustus in the first place._ The guards nodded as Gustus stepped forward with a shoulder piece. The girl let her hair loose as she tightened the buckle.

My eyes widened. Holy shit.

“You’re the commander?” I asked in astonishment.

"I've learned much about you," she stated, "It's clear your intentions are honorable. The desire for peace is true."

She then looked at Roan with her cold green eyes. “You will used as a message to Azgeda to show how they shouldn’t mess with me. When the guards are done with you, tell them this message: Peace is my only intent and if you disagree, you will die in vain. _Blood must not have blood, the cycle will end soon_.” 

The guards quickly picked up Roan and tied him up. “This isn’t over _Wanheda,_ ” he growled, “You and your stupid resolutions for peace will be trampled to the ground.” He took one last glance at me before being shoved out of sight. 

“I am Lexa, Commander of the Twelve Clans.” She said, “You are not free yet, you still need to earn your trust to see if your intentions are fully pure.” 

She made eye contact with Gustus as he walked towards me. I had a gut feeling what he was about to do right as I felt a fist collide with my face. I fell backwards and saw the pitch black ink fill up my vision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This feels very familiar am I right?


	6. True Intentions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Clarke has a pleasant interview.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for self harm in this chapter, it will occur towards the end.

_I went through so much that I fear that I won't survive._

_Fear that I won't make it, because my mind is my greatest burden._

_When I first met you, I thought you hated me._

_I thought you wanted me dead. But it's okay, because I wished that I was dead as well._

* * *

My eyelids slowly opened up.

But a piece of fabric was covering my entire head.

I felt like I was in one of those dreams where I wanted to run for my life, but was rooted to the ground. I tried to move but grunted in defeat.

Ropes were digging into my skin and heavily constricted my movements. My back started to hurt against the seat that I was tied up against.

_Great. How many more times will I get knocked out before they let me go?_

“ _Wanheda,_ as I promised.”

The fabric was lifted off of my head.

My eyes adjusted to the light and my gut clenched inside of me.

I noticed that I am in a different area since I was tied to a chair facing a grey throne.

_Where the hell am I?_

I tried to speak but realized that the gag tied around my mouth was about to choke me. 

“I told you guys to bring her to me unharmed.” The first person hissed.

My vision was still very foggy and dazed. All I could see is three silhouettes approaching me.

“Gustus got carried away so I took her for myself.” Another person replied. 

“Very well,” the first voice said, “I will be back, I will need information out of _her_ when I return.” I saw the first person walk out of my sight of vision and heard the door close. 

My eyesight started to focus on the two people in front of me. It was the same girl with dirty blonde hair that I saw earlier and a dark-skinned woman with tattoos on her head.

 _Similar to Gustus’s tattoos._ I thought.

They both glared at me but the dirty blonde haired woman took off my gag. 

“My name is Anya,” she said, “And I am one of the commander’s generals. Indra and I are happy that you’re willing to comply with us.”

“And of course I had to comply otherwise you would have me head at this moment-”

“Silence!” Anya hissed, glaring daggers in my eyes. “You will not speak until I tell you to speak.”

I tried not to let her intimidate me and make me feel small, but it took all my will since her fierce nature was felt in the room. Indra, the other lady came close to my face and stared for a few minutes, trying to see what I was thinking or feeling. 

“Who are you,” Indra asked, “And where do you come from?”

**“My name is Clarke Griffin. I was born in space on the Ark Station. For about 97 years, the Ark was the only thing that kept us alive after the nuclear wa-”**  
  


She smacked my face. The burning sensation stung my cheek. I gritted my teeth and looked back at Indra.

 **“I don’t want an introduction to a drama or a theater play,”** Indra spat, “Stop stalling, you’re just like every other spy trying to keep us from knowing information. Azgeda spy-”

“I never said I was a spy,” I replied. Indra and Anya exchanged looks at what I just said, “I didn’t even attack your land-”

“You and your ship killed soldiers and animals.” Anya scoffed, “Yet you say your intentions are pure.” 

“My home was destroyed in space,” I said, “I crash landed here a few days ago thinking that I was the last person on Earth.”

They both looked skeptical of what I was saying. But anger started to boil inside of my veins. 

“ **I saved myself from my own people.** I was willing to kill myself in that cellar for my intentions. I’m sick and tired of fighting for violence and bloodshed.” 

“So you’re the girl who tried to sacrifice herself to let Roan live.” Anya said, “The commander is very interested in you...But we’ll need more information out of you.” Both of them started talking to each other in a low voice where I couldn’t hear what they were saying. 

“I was told that I had to arrive near a place called Mount Weather.” They both looked at me with a confused look. 

“Are you talking about the Mountain?” Anya said, “Because if so, then it no longer exists. It collapsed a few years ago after they all died from radiation. Rumours were spread that one of their people pulled a switch that killed them all.” They both resumed talking. 

“What is it that you guys want from me,” I said bitterly, “Do you want me to admit that I’m an Azgeda spy?

Do you want me to admit that I want the commander’s head?

You say you want to know what I want but _I know what your intentions are._ ” Anya and Indra both stopped talking.

“You just want to kill me to please the commander that you killed another spy.

You just wish that I was another person with violent intentions so that you can keep convincing your commander that she’s the only one with pure intentions.” They both looked at me in surprise. 

“You guys doubt her. Both of you don’t believe in her. You guys are afraid of change-”

Anya gripped my throat and pressed me against the chair even more. “You don’t talk to us like that. You are crossing a very dangerous line with us.”

I was about to say something but she punched me hard in the stomach. I was going to gasp in reaction but she smashed my jaw. Blood started to trickle down my chin. I spit out the salty red liquid in my mouth.

“You think you’re above it all,” Anya spat, “But you’re not. You really think you can just walk right in here and be a smartass to us?” 

I looked at her and started to laugh.

My stomach was still throbbing from Anya's punch but I smiled.

Both generals were furious at how I was reacting.

Indra gripped the hem of my shirt and put my gag back in my mouth. She put her hand on my bad leg and dug her thumb into the bullet wound. I muffled in extreme pain as she didn’t let go. I thrashed against the chair, trying to tell her to stop but she didn’t. After a few painful moments she let go and gripped my chin.

Tears started to flow from my eyes in reaction to the unbearable pain. 

“This is to put you back in your place.” Indra said.

Her fist collided with my chest which made me hit the back of the chair hard. “This is for you to finally shut up-”

**“That’s ENOUGH.”**

The first voice behind me sent goosebumps down my spine. Her commanding voice made Anya and Indra step away from me. I realized who she was as she entered my frame of vision. Her amour and warpaint made her look very powerful.

Not even the generals were that intimidating until I saw her enter the room. 

It’s her again.

The Commander of the Twelve Clans. 

It’s _Lexa._

“I told you to not beat her up earlier.” she said with an angry tone, “And you disobeyed my orders.”

“You didn’t know what she said,” Indra replied, “She said that she knew our intentions-”

"Quiet," Lexa said. She walked over to me and took off my gag.

“Is this true?” She asked, “Is it true that they don't believe in me or put faith in their _own commander?”_

“Indra and Anya just want me to confess that I am another spy that wanted to violently murder your people in your sleep." I made eye contact with both of them.

"You guys just wanted me to confess to violence to give the commander _less hope for peace_.” I turned to Lexa, “That is what I meant, and they still didn’t listen.” I tried to move my bad leg to show what I meant.

Anya and Indra didn’t respond.

Lexa crossed her arms. “I knew what her intentions were from before,” She pointed at me, “I just wanted to see if they were true. I put her here with you guys to see if she would fight back or be like the other spy’s.” 

She glared at them. “I must admit that I am not fully surprised that my own generals don’t believe in my vision. This was a test for both sides to see how much work I have to do to fight for peace.” I looked at her in surprise. 

“Heda, please just let me punch her to her senses one more time-” 

**“No.”**

Indra looked bewildered but kept quiet. 

Lexa sighed. 

“We will meet again to have a conversation at sundown. We will talk more about yourself, Clarke.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


I knocked on my door to let the guards know that I was ready. I patted my jacket and tied my combat boots right before the door opened.

The guards nodded and escorted me to a large door where Gustus was. He didn’t glare but he whispered something to the guards. The guards walked away leaving just the two of us. 

“If you even look at her the wrong way. I will slit your throat.” He said with a cold voice.

I gulped as he let me inside the throne room. A beige carpet led from the entrance to the throne, where the commander was sitting. Indra was on her right, with Anya on her left. Gustus stayed by the door.

“You’re the one who burned 300 of my warriors alive.” She was playing with a knife, but made eye contact with me. Her eyes were dark and stared into my soul. She shifted her head and used her dagger to stab the armrest on her throne, still twirling the knife with her hand. 

“Do you have an answer for me, Clarke of the sky people?” 

I cleared my throat and nodded. “I’ve come to make you an offer.”

“Let me kill her and get this over with-” Indra started. Lexa signaled her to be quiet with her hand. 

“This is not a negotiation, or a peace treaty. You know what my intentions are.” Lexa glared at me. She sent chills down my spine but I didn’t show it. 

“I know how to get peace.”

Lexa relaxed her glare. “Go on,” she said. 

“Those who are about to die will say anything.” Indra spat. Lexa looked at Indra, then back at me.  
  


“You still didn’t answer my question, Clarke. I’m still waiting for your offer.” 

_“I know how to kill the Ice Queen.”_

“Impossible,” Indra replied. “Commander, I beg you to let me kill her.” 

“I’ve defeated my own people to escape their ruthlessness,” I said, “I’ve done it. With Lincoln-”

Indra got up from her seat and approached me. “That traitor is the reason why the burning was unanswered. He kept you alive as a spy and a murderer and-”

“Indra,” Lexa tried to stop her, but she drew out her dagger-

“Enough!” Lexa stood up. 

Indra gave me a death glare and walked to the other side of the room. Lexa walked towards me until we were a few inches apart. 

“You say that you can easily defeat the Ice Queen?” she asked. I thought I saw her look at my lips but I kept eye contact with her. 

“Yes,” I nodded.

“Then prove it.” 

“You weren’t there all the time with me when I was chained up in the cellar. Roan is a good way to get back at the Ice Queen. He is her son-”

“That banished child trash talked to me and disapproved of my resolution for peace. He knew that I was the Commander. You were the only one that didn’t.” 

“He only said that to display an image of Azgeda,” I replied. “Roan told me that all he wanted to do was become the Prince of Azgeda again. Once he becomes king, life will become more peaceful-”  
  


“How do you know that,” Lexa asked, “What if he turns out to be like his mother?” 

  
  


“We can work together,” I said, “I want peace just as badly as you do-”

“There is no _we,_ ” Anya pitched in out of the blue, “You’re not a part of the coalition with the twelve clans. You are a loner, like you said to Lincoln, you are the last of your kind.” 

_I wondered what I would’ve been like if my people joined the coalition and made a treaty with the Commander. I knew that there would be lots of battles before we made amends._

“You again?” I said, “You always try to degrade me so that I look like an easier target.” Anya scowled at me, but didn’t say anything else.

  
  


“Azgeda is a long lost cause,” Lexa said, “It was my mistake to let Queen Nia in with my coalition. Their people can decide for themselves whether to submit to us or die fighting for the violence that they want so badly.” 

She looked at me with eyes that could torch the ground. 

**“Blood must not have blood. The cycle will end soon.”**

* * *

_I didn't know how much longer I could take this, take any of this. It hurts so, so bad._

_I don't know how to control anything. I'm so lost._

_My people have been wiped out, and I feel like i'm going extinct, even though there are humans on Earth._

_I don't know. I don't know. I don't know._

* * *

_“GET OUT OF MY HEAD!”_

_Images of the guards and Jaha taking her dad away appeared every time she closed her eyes. Flashes of that day flickered in her mind._

_“I SAID GET OUT OF MY HEAD!”_

_She banged her fist on the wall, suppressing the pain that jolted inside of her like electricity. She slammed her hands against the wall and breathed heavily in and out, her chest quickly rising and falling until her breath finally caught up to her._

_She looked at her fists which had various colors of beige, red, and purple._

_“I need you dad. Please come back…..”_

_She slumped in defeat against the wall and slowly fell to the ground._

_“Dad,” She pleaded, “Why did you have to leave. I really really miss you.”_

_She curled up into a ball in her prison cell. The girl was whimpering to herself and tried to speak, but no words came out of her mouth. She felt as if her only company was the quiet sobs coming out of her mouth._

_She was completely alone, with no one to help her._

_Tears blurred her vision as she sobbed in the silence. The darkness in her room started to close in on her as she remembered that day...that horrible...nightmare…_

_“I SAID TO GET OUT OF MY HEAD! LEAVE ME ALONE!”_

I suddenly woke up.

I quickly started to panic when I noticed I was engulfed in the darkness. _Shit, I’m back in the prison. I’m back in that horrible nightmare._ I started to panic. I gripped the leather beneath me and realized that I wasn’t in the prison. 

  
I sighed a big breath of relief. _It’s just another dream._ I thought, slowly regaining my breath. _I’m no longer in that prison cell._ I inhaled and looked at my surroundings. The moonlight gleaned from the window nearby. Candles illuminated the room and fought off the darkness with its warm hues. 

I was in a large room that was meant for someone of royalty, or a high rank. I shifted my position as I fully sat up but tensed a bit as my bad leg reminded me of the interrogation incident. _Thanks Indra for making my wound swell up._

This marked a week spent in the palace. I didn’t really do much and stayed in this room all of the time. The Commander was usually busy doing her own things, and Anya and Indra didn’t even bother checking up on me. As much as I would love to explore the palace, I was too tired and exhausted to do so. 

I would always wake up drenched in a thin layer of sweat always shaking and scared for my life. My hallucinations and nightmares keep me up every night and ruin my sleep cycle. The demons in my sleep always grasp my throat and take all the air out of my system, choking me with dark thoughts that I always have to fight. The same repetitive images and thoughts keep replaying in my mind like a broken record. 

I am afraid of myself and the person I’ve become. 

I no longer feel safe in my own skin. 

I felt like a warrior at the end of a long war; tired, scarred, damaged, with little or no will to fight anymore. I have no motivation or will to keep fighting against the enemy, yet I still harm myself every time by being resilient. I keep ignoring the dark urges that try to tug me into the void and giving up. 

My cheeks are always flushed and stained with tear marks. My body shaking and my knuckles sore from being balled up all the time.

I cry to the point where I can’t feel anything.

I cry to the point where my emotions get tired of responding to me. 

I saw the blade on the table in front of me.

_The images won’t go away until I answer them._

_I need to feel something. I need to remind myself that I have emotions, and that the thoughts are right._

I grabbed the blade and stared at it. I saw my reflection from the blade and realized how broken I was.

 _I let myself break down._ I reminded myself. _It’s all my fault for being like this._

_You’re exposed prey waiting to be feasted down upon._

_The commander will soon know that you locked yourself up with your rations._

_She will know your weaknesses._

I tightened my grip on the blade. 

_She will know how disgusting and horrible you truly are._

I let the tip of the knife dig into my arm, gritting my teeth in response. I felt happy as the familiar feeling of pain was finally burning in my veins. _I can finally feel something._ I managed to weakly smile at the feeling of not feeling numb. _There will be no more suffering._

I let the knife dictate whatever it wanted to do. More blood started to gush out from the new wounds. I didn’t feel any remorse or regret for my actions.

_I am so worthless._

_I wish I took the chip._

_I wish I no longer had to deal with the agony that gnaws at my mind everyday._

_I wish I died in the crash._

  
  


I didn’t realize that I was crying again until I felt a tear hit my torn up arm. My breathing felt constricted and my chest heaved from the noises I was making. My arm started to shake violently. The knife slipped from my grasp, clanging on the ground and breaking the silence that devoured the whole room. To others, it would’ve felt like a small butter knife...

...but to me it felt like I couldn’t complete the task like a _coward._

“Clarke?”

_Shit._

My face immediately turned pale as all of my emotions were sucked out of my system. I mustered the courage to look up at…

Lexa. 

She was wearing a nightdress that flowed with the wind. Her hair was down and her emerald eyes bore down on me.

She didn't have her warpaint on anymore. It was like she wanted to show me her true character.

She was showing herself to me in her most vulnerable state.

Her bruised lips indicated that she had been in some battle during her time away from the capital. She stared at the knife and then quickly noticed my arm, her face bewildered in shock. 

“How long has this been going on for?”

_How did she know-_

“I-I shouldn’t have left the palace. My duties weren’t even that important.”

She quickly sat down next to me and quickly ripped some fabric. She gently clutched my arm and started to bandage up my wounds that I inflicted upon myself. For some reason, I felt warm and protected under her care. She glanced at me with a look of worry before continuing to stop my bleeding. 

No one spoke a word for a few minutes, I enjoyed the quiet before wondering why she, the Commander who was facing issues everyday, had come to help me.

“Why are you treating me and taking care of me?” I asked, breaking the silence, “You and your people have every right to hate me.”

She shook her head, “That’s not true.”

“I’m freaking _Wanheda_ for the sake of the Ark _,”_ I said, “I burned some of your soldiers and animals when I came to the Earth-”

“Stop,” She cut off my rambling, and looked at me directly. “Please stop.”

“Stop what?” I asked, “Your people are right about me. I’m a loner and I don’t deserve to be alive.” 

Lexa furrowed her brow and continued to patch me up. She didn’t answer my question yet she decided to care for me. She put me before her, but she shouldn’t have. 

“I’m awful to even look at,” I said.

**“You should’ve left me to die in that cellar.”**

She gripped me by the hem of my shirt with her face close to mine.

Her eyes bounced from my lips to my eyes for a few seconds. I felt the air from her breath on mine. She kept staring at me with anger in her eyes. But it wasn’t the type of anger when you faced an opponent, it was something else. It was a different type of anger. 

“I said to stop.” Lexa quivered, “Please **stop hurting yourself** Clarke.”

She let go of my shirt and sat down beside me. Her hand fell on my knee and my breath started to shake. I don’t know what was going on but she had this different type of feeling every time I saw her. 

“I don’t know what you’ve gone through,” She whispered, “But I’ve also had some low points in my life too.”

Her face slightly tensed up after she said those words. 

“I lost someone special to me too. Her name was Costia. I thought I’d never get over the pain, but I did.” 

“But how?”

“By recognizing it for what it is.” 

“What? Love?”

“ **Love is like a double edged sword, it is so powerful yet so fragile. It is a beautiful flaw.** The Ice Nation took that as an advantage over me. They tortured her, killed her, and cut off her head. I knew from that day I should have never let them join the coalition, but I thought it would be one step closer to peace." 

She pursed her lips in anger remembering the events replay in her mind. I put my hand on her shoulder to snap her out of her trance. _I don’t want her to suffer in her thoughts like me_.

“You and me want the same thing which is peace,” I started, “The Ark was filled with oppression and torture. It is not like here with you and your people, but It was really awful. They established harsh laws and if anyone broke them we would be executed. I knew that I could never show them my flaws. I tried to show my flaws to my own mother but she turned me into the council.” I paused, deep in thought. 

  
  


_A bunch of guards stormed the room the girl was in. The thundering noises of gunshots filled the air._

_“Put your hands where I can see them! Now!”_

_Screams and cries were heard as citizens around her started to panic. Everyone around her raised their hands up in surrender, not knowing what was going on. The shooting stopped as time stood still. No one was killed._

_“Give me the girl who knows about the plan.”_

_The girl felt paralyzed at that moment. The world suddenly came to a halt for her. The guards were talking about the culling that was going to happen on the Ark. She remembered them arresting her dad a few days ago for treason. She saw him being ripped from the chamber as he was launched into space._

_“What do you want from a child?” Someone pushed their way through the crowd towards the guards. “You guards always want to kill people left and right-”_

**_BANG!_ **

_The body dropped to the floor. The room was deathly silent as people started to whisper._

_“I know who the girl is.” A familiar voice piped in. It was her mom._ _No, she can’t. She would never-_

_“Over here.”_

_The whole room stared at me. Their eyes bore into me as I felt the room start to shrink and crush in on me._

_“Mom!” The girl cried, “Why would you do this to me. Why would you turn your back on your own daughter!”_

_“Because I want to protect you-”_

“Clarke!” 

_Another flashback._

“Clarke are you okay?”

“I’m….fine,” I said, “I just spaced out. I’ll continue.”

“After that, I couldn’t open up to anyone. Not even Raven, who I teamed up with to try to escape the Ark from an A.I. that infected and controlled everyone on the Ark. I felt closed off and trapped in my own skin. Even during my Earth Studies classes, I was mocked and made fun of by others just for being who I was: The councilor's daughter."

"That wasn’t even the worse part. My dad told me everything that the Ark kept from us. The information that I was fed every time turned out to be lies that were strung together in order to keep the people on the Ark silent."

I bit my lip as I fought against incoming tears, "They lied so that they could stay in power. They just made excuses to float and execute people. I felt that humanity was hopeless and that there was no point in living. Every day I wished that I was on the ground, even If I died the minute I set foot.” 

“Did Raven survive?”

_“If you find anyone on Earth. Please tell them about us....about the people from space.”_

“No. She died in my hands since I didn’t complete the job.”

“Complete what job?”

“I was too caught up in my ego that I didn’t kill Kane completely. He was controlled by an A.I. and we fought to the death. My mistake was that he thought he was unconscious for good. I was celebrating in victory with Raven until he...shot her square in the chest.” 

My lip quivered. I started to tremble. 

“The reason my people are dead is **because of me**. I let my team talk about us landing on the Earth and that’s when it all started. The A.I. knew what my intentions were and decided to launch an attack on the Ark. It was all my fault. I could’ve landed on the Earth with all of my people and let them see this beauty-”

“Clarke,” Lexa said to me, “You didn’t have a choice. Maybe it was for the better. You saved yourself from the corruption. You freed yourself from the pain that you were experiencing on the Ark. You’re the only person that gave me hope that humanity is able to become peaceful.” 

“You’re very special Clarke. That’s what I like about you.”

She embraced me in a hug.

 _This girl is so stubborn._ I thought. I gripped onto her as if she the last thing I would touch rested my head on her shoulder. 

For the first time in what felt like a while, I smiled knowing that someone else understood me and let me be vulnerable. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blood must not have blood? Sounds really familiar.


	7. Initiation (or, Her Remedy)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of stabbing

_Why is it when I am so close to redemption, something has to go wrong?_

_I hate it here._

* * *

Sunset was here. It was time.

I examined myself in the mirror.

My dress reflected a golden hue from the setting sun, and my hair was styled in a way that made me look bedazzling without any jewelry on. My warpaint made me look fierce. It was as if a painter took a brush, dipped it in black ink and slashed it across my eyes and the bridge of my nose in a perfect line. I looked like a powerful leader. 

_The timeline would have been so much different If my people...survived._

I tensed up at that thought but shook my head before I could let in the tide of darkness that always came crashing down on me every night. 

I am the leader of Skaikru.

I am _Wanheda._

The doors opened up as a beautiful melody is being sung by a girl sitting on a dark chair. Her gentle and calming voice falling through the air and easing the people in the presence of the area. I slowly peered around the room to see the other Ambassadors that represented the other clans, their banners displayed on wooden poles, each of them gazing at me in wonder and other mixed emotions since they're in the same place as _Wanheda_ is. I saw Indra standing to the commander's right and for the first time since I stepped foot in Polis she gave me a peaceful gaze rather than a look of death itself. When I caught Anya's gaze she nodded with a look of reassurance with what I was about to do. I caught a glimpse of Roan but didn't make eye contact with him, knowing that he would be here to see that I didn't carry through with the plan. I shifted my gaze toward the person in front of me, trying to hide any signs of feeling in awe of her. 

I froze in place as the world started to slow down, the melodies that echoed across the room were fading in my mind and the small chatter of the other ambassadors started to become a blur. I was caught in a trance that I couldn't get out of. She looks so elegant in her silky black dress yet so aggressive and powerful with her war paint that streaked down her cheeks. The evening rays reflects on the Commander's face, the warm colors defining and showing her facial features that made her stand out. When I caught her eyes locking in on mine my brain stopped.

I felt so lost in her shining emerald eyes. 

She is beauty.

She is grace.

She is Lexa, the Commander of the Twelve Clans. 

The noises and chatter came back to my ears as the world resumed. _I knew what I have to do now._ I slowly knelled to show my submission to her command. The music kept going as the ambassadors around me fell silent, not moving a muscle. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Roan moving to bow down as well, with everyone slowly following suit after him. _Azgeda bowing down before the Commander? That seems very strange and seems very off._ I tried not to let it bother me but kept it in the back of my mind. 

"Hail warriors of the Twelve Clans." 

"Hail Commander of Peace."

Everyone around me slowly started to rise up again, keeping the silence that consumed the room whole. 

"We welcome Skaikru into our halls in the spirit of friendship and harmony. We welcome Clarke kom Skaikru," She motioned to where I am standing. "Legendary _Wanheda,_ slayer of the Ark and the lands." I felt everyone's gaze linger on me, but I stayed calm. The Commander cleared her throat once again, her confidence and her posture made me realize that she was meant to be commander, as if the light and the people of the heavens called down her to lead the twelve clans into a new light. To lead the remainder of the human race away from endless massacres and towards hope.

**She is the savior of everyone and I am the savior of no one.**

"The reason for this summit has changed. We are not here to put _Wanheda_ on trial for justice, but rather to initiate her into the coalition." 

Whispers were heard across the room. The air in the room felt tighter. Doubt filled my mind and I tried to stay calm under the unnecessary pressure that started to build up inside of me. 

"To symbolize this union, the leader of Skaikru must bear our mark." 

_I imagined in an alternate timeline that Kane would be our leader. My mom being her paranoid self would have to drag him away for a second in order to do a pep talk with what he was about to do. I could see him stepping up to the new change, grunting and hissing at the pain as the hot metal would be pressed against his skin, bearing the mark in order to symbolize their unity and temporary peace at last._

_In that universe, everything would have been so much different. In that universe, I would've gotten to know more about my friends that are no longer-_

"Present your arm." 

I stepped away from the walkway to the throne and approached a man who held an iron rod. It's tip shaped like a circle with the symbol engraved on it and emitted a glowing orange and yellow hue, small grey clouds of steam escaped the rod showed how the burning sensation would leave a mark on my arm. I gulped but put my arm out, tensing in preparation. I tried my best to conceal any emotion of pain as he pressed the rod firmly against my skin, the shocking sensation blazed my veins. When it was done, I walked back to where I was standing in front of the throne and showed the commander the mark signifying my deal. 

" _Wanheda_ now bears our mark. Skaikru is now in the coalition and is now apart of my command."

Everyone in the audience started to applause what has just happened. I made eye contact with Anya noticing that she was smiling. _I guess someone else other than the commander has hope in me after all._

**"It should be 'Hail Commander of the Blood."**

The whole crowd went silent.

"Who said that," The commander's eyes searched the room for the voice, "Who dare question my actions?". 

A random person with white streaks on his face stepped forward. "I do," he said, "The people of my clan disagree with what you have allowed to happen tonight. It is utterly ridiculous and should've been stopped. You always think you do what's right for your people but-" 

"Of course it's the people of Azgeda," Anya scoffed, "I hate to interrupt your speech of protest but I knew you guys would try to interfere with this. " She rolled her eyes and kept her glare at the guy and crossed her arms. I wondered if this was part of Roan's plan in case I didn't kill Lexa. Hushed voices were heard as the Commander walked towards the Azgedan warrior.

"And why do you think this is a bad choice for our people?" 

"Because you want to change tradition and made it suitable to your needs only. Peace is such a broad and worthless concept that isn't worth it in the end. Human kind is selfish, we've been living in constant chaos ever since the twelve clans came to existence-" 

Indra came out of nowhere and gripped the man. "You dare question the Commander's actions?" Indra hissed, "You're lucky that she even let you into the coalition, you filth." The man tried to move out of her grasp but she gripped him even harder. "Let him go," The commander said, "I can deal with him myself." Indra was going to question her actions but decided to keep her mouth shut. She shoved the man and walked back to her original place. The commander was face to face with the man, noticing that he looked a little nervous but tried to keep his expression of anger to show what Azgeda wants. 

"If you don't agree with my actions, you can leave the coalition and let me be with _my people_ ," The commander proposed, "Otherwise you will keep silent and keep your trust in me since I know what's best for my people." I wondered how Lexa-I mean the Commander was able to keep her cool after the people of her old enemy had just disagreed with her actions. 

_"The last time I let someone like you live, Costia's head was delivered to my bed!"_

That moment replayed in my head. _She let me get treated like trash since her trust issues clouded her field of judgement. I get why she had to do all that just to earn my trust. And when she came to my aid and treated my self-inflicted wounds, she didn't have her war paint on since she trusted me that much._

"There is no thirteenth clan," The man spat, " _Wanheda_ doesn't deserve to be in our presence due to her selfish acts-"

"If _Wanheda_ is breathing then there still is a thirteenth clan." The commander retorted, keeping her calm gaze, "We are allowing her clan into our coalition to be in remembrance of their losses. Skaikru is remembered for the terrible fate that they had. Their oppressed system that was driven by violence and caused them to collapse and fall into their own hands." I didn't protest because I knew she was right. My people were driven by their hunger for power and influence on others. The council let all of those horrible executions and past cullings happen and made us keep quiet. I am a sign to the twelve clans that we need to resort to peace in order to survive. 

The man was enraged but didn't act upon it. I walked toward the Commander and was about to address the man before my ears shot up. I saw a shadow behind a throne chair and my nerves spiked up. _That wasn't Indra or Anya's shadow that was someone else._ I noticed it was someone that wore pitch black attire, blending in with the darkness of the room with only the light from a small candle nearby giving him away.

"COMMANDER WATCH OUT!" 

Anya drew out her sword, but saw that she was too late. The figure knew he was caught and sped across the room toward the Commander. The shadow drew out a dagger and was ready to strike her. I shoved the Commander away from me before I gripped the assassin and- 

**KA-SHINK!**

I heard the sound of blood dripping against the ground.

I didn't feel anything and my eyes were still shut.

Everything was black.

I was expecting an immense amount of pain to fill my system but I felt nothing. I opened my eyes in surprise and realized that there was a blade pressed against my neck.

I didn't see any blood on my neck and realized that Le-I mean the Commander was standing next to the figure, her sword piercing his chest.

The rest of the ambassadors looked at the whole scene in horror. I realized that if the assassin had stepped any closer then I would've died a bloody and horrible death. I moved backwards as the assassin gasped and dropped his blade, the familiar sound of a knife falling to the floor ringed against my ears. _Third time's a charm._ I thought. The commander gripped her sword back and shoved the man on the ground, letting everyone see him surrounded by a pool of his own blood.

"Azgeda," The commander started, "is no longer a part of the coalition. This attempted murder will cost your whole clan to pay a big price." The anger in her voice gripped the whole room with fear. Her power and command sent chills down my spine. She drew back her sword and put it back in it's handle.

"Guards, escort the Azgeda ambassadors out of this palace handcuffed and gagged with no food or rations. Let them take the long walk back to Azgeda and to Queen Nia. This attempt with be dealt with and severely punished." Gustus and the other guards roughly handled the Azgeda ambassadors as they cried in protest out of the throne room. The commander walked back and sat on her throne, her anger still present in her eyes. "We will call another summit at first light tomorrow to discuss what to do with Azgeda. You are all dismissed." Everyone trickled out of the room, including Anya and Indra who were whispering in hushed voices talking about the incident today.

  
  
  
  


I was back in the throne room with my regular attire, fixing my black jacket. My back was facing the entrance and looked at the view of Polis at night, the moon light shining down upon the city as it went to sleep.

"I hope you know what you're doing," A scout said to Lexa. She bowed her head and said something inaudible. I felt the scout glance at me before shutting the door, leaving just the two of us in the darkness of the throne room.

"I keep asking myself," I turned around to face her as she approached me, "How did the assassin sneak into the palace without being detected?" 

"We'll get the answers soon. But thank you for staying here Clarke."

"I stayed because it was the right thing for your people."

" _Our_ people." She corrected me.

Recent memories of Lincoln turning me in, me slitting my own wrist in the cellar, and the interrogation flashed in my mind. 

I felt uneasy but I stepped closer to her. "If you lock me up again-"

"I won't."

Lexa had a look of reassurance. She kept my gaze as she did something I would’ve never expected her to do.

She knelled to me. 

_W...what?_

_H..how is t_ _he commander of the twelve clans bowing before me?_

My foot are rooted to the ground and I felt the world paused again. She put me in the same trance as earlier. I got lost in those shining green eyes that made my brain malfunction once again. 

"I swear fealty to you. _Clarke kom Skaikru._ I vow to treat your needs as my own, and you as my people." She said very softly. I wasn’t used to her voice like this. Usually, she is tough and assertive, always ready for a fight. But with me she is soft, delicate, and very empathetic with what I was going through. 

I held out my hand and she took it, raising herself and we locked eyes once again.

**By the creators of the Ark this girl will be the death of me.**

* * *

_You, my hope, sustain me._

_The haven. My safeplace that I never knew I needed._

_Thank you._

Like she promised, the Commander held a meeting with the Ambassadors. And well...since I'm the leader and the ambassador I was also invited to join as the newest member. They were sitting in the throne room again. The banners of the eleven other clans represented the unity that the Commander had worked very hard to create, it reminded me of how much progress human kind had made while I was stuck in space. Anya was there, but Indra wasn't since she had to take care of duties in TonDC.

"We welcome Clarke kom Skaikru as our newest member," The Commander announced, "After the...incident from last night, we have a lot to talk about. I want to know if any of the clans here were apart of the ambush and knew about the assassin sneaking into the tower." Some eyes fell on me but I nodded my head, this whole thing felt very new to me but I know I have to get used to it soon. 

"Some Sangedakru warriors were reported to have been found unconscious upon the entrance of Polis," The ambassador of Sangedakru started, "I sent them to the gates in order to fetch some water before they were supposed to go back home." 

"Some Trishana Kru guards were posted at the back entrance but they weren't knocked out. One of them named Illian heard a noise and tried to follow it inside the palace but lost it. By the time he tried to approach me the summit was over." The ambassadors started chattering with one another about the moments before the incident. _If Illian heard a noise from the back entrance, and the Sangedakru guards were knocked out at the front entrance. Then he must've had inside help._

"Wait," I said. The ambassadors turned to look at me, "They must have had inside help, there's no way that the assassin could just stroll up in the palace without being told to wait outside." The idea dawned on me. _The Azgedan ambassadors knew about the assassin all along, what complete bullshit._

"It seems we have ourselves a clever and smart ambassador," The Delphikru ambassador smiled at me, "The Commander was right to bring you into the coalition. Azgeda is wrong, the Commander knows what she's doing." I beamed in appraisal and felt like the heavens for once decided to give me a little mercy on my fate. 

"The summit used as a trap," I continued, "The Azgedan warriors probably knocked out all of the other guards from the front entrance, since their warriors were the only ones that managed to make it inside. So it must've been a setup-"

 **"Haha! She's definitely a keeper,"** Anya announced out of the blue, getting surprised looks at the other ambassadors. Her cheeks started to flush red in embarrassment, "Oh sorry that wasn't very _political_ of me, my bad." The Commander scowled at her but continued to talk to the other ambassadors about other matters.  
  


_I hope that she meant that in a political way._

Anya and looked at me and mouthed "Lexa", while she thought the Commander wasn't looking. 

_Holy shit she didn't. She did not!_

_No it's not what you think Clarke, come on-_

"Anya!" The Commander's shouted.

The rest of the ambassadors didn't know if she was mad or not. I genuinely thought she did something wrong until Anya burst out laughing.

 _Even though I know what she's talking about i'm_ _going to press her more about the matter._

**_Oh creators of the Ark, please float me now._ **

I rolled my eyes at Anya and gave her a 'I hate your guts' type of look.

Her character and personality reminded me of Raven. Her sly jokes, her immaturity, and her strength underneath that general persona...it all matched up.

Anya's very tough nature made her look like she's the last person that you would want to mess with or go up against. Every time I passed her down the halls of the tower after the interrogation my stomach would always tie itself up together and fear would quickly seize my throat.I always felt her frosty gaze freezing my insides whenever I caught her eye while I was talking to the Commander. Even though I heard she was Lex-the Commander's second, she seemed very protective of her.

_I don't blame her for wanting beating me up during the interrogation, she had to do her job._

But after getting to know her after awhile she seemed very trusting and comedic. She was a bit timid and defensive, but she quickly lowered them after we got along with our sarcasm. She now wasn't the person that I had met in the interrogation room at all. My views of her changed completely.

_Oh Raven, you two would've gotten along well-_

"I say that we steal all of Azgeda's weapons!" One ambassador aggressively stated.

"I say that we launch ambushes on their spies." Another ambassador chimed.

"I say we pull a prank on Queen Nia and take her crops and animals." 

"I say that we go to war," I piped in, shrugging it off until the room went quiet. I looked at the Commander who also seemed very interested, "Guys come on we can't have a war if we want peace, that's literally the opposite of what we want." 

"Oh _Wanheda,_ " The Delphikru ambassador sighed, "If only you knew what they have done to us all these years. The Commander gave them a chance to redeem themselves after what they did to..."

She was elbowed by the Sangedakru ambassador, who gave her a _'don't you dare say Costia or the Commander will throw you off the balcony'_ type of look. 

"...us. Right, they always sent spies and stole our goods and supplies. They led surprised ambushes that ended up killing hundreds!" 

Everyone else started to complain about Azgeda until the Commander cleared her throat to grab our attention. 

"All of us are tired of fighting. All of us _except_ Azgeda. They want disorder and injustice to happen in the coalition just so that they take power. It wasn't just Queen Nia, it was all the other past rulers too.

**If we finally want to have peace then we'll have to fight humanity's last war."**

"So it's settled then," The Trikru ambassador said, "We're going to war with Azgeda."

* * *

It is dark and the moonlight greeted Polis, but the everyone was awake.

War horns bellowed in the distance as the warriors, guards, medics, and civilians started to prepare for the war. The entire city of Polis stayed up in celebration and agony of fighting the last war that they would ever fight. 

"We've discussed this in the summit," Lexa's voice reminded me that we were talking about something important, "We're all leaving at first light." 

She is wearing the same night dress that she wore a few nights ago, it's silkiness matched her personality since she was so graceful whenever she was in my presence. We were back in my room in the Commander's quarters.

I knew it was safe and heavily guarded but I still felt like my thoughts were going to invade my mind. "We'll talk more about this tomorrow, " I noticed Lexa was about to leave the as she walked towards my door, "I'll see you later Clarke." Right before she slipped from my sight I felt the warmth in the room slip away, even though there were lots of candles heating up the room. 

"Wait," I ran up to her and gripped her arm in the spur of the moment, instantly regretting it since I realized that she's the Commander. She shouldn't follow my orders. But the uneasiness of my mind vanished as soon as I felt her wrist.

"Please stay. I..." I softly begged.

To my surprise, Lexa nodded and shut the door behind her, walking towards the couch where I...

_Iletthetipofthe_

_knifedigintomyarm_

_grittingmyteethinresponse_

_Ifelthappyasthefamiliarfeeling_

_ofpainwasfinallyburning_

_inmyveins Icanfinallyfeelsomething_

_Imanagedtoweaklysmileatthe_ _feeling_

_ofnotfeelingnumbt herewillbenomore_

_suffering_ _Ilettheknifedictatewhatever_

_itwantedtodomorebloodstartedtogush_

_outfromthenewwoundsIdidn’tfeelanyremorse_

_orregretformyactions-_

"Clarke?"

"Oh sorry," I said, "I always get so lost in thought." I sat down next to her. 

"You asked me to stay?" She said, "How come?" 

"I'm afraid."

"Afraid of what?" Lexa looked at me and tilted her face with concern. _I actually can't believe that the Commander actually gives a shit about me._

I slowly inhaled. 

" **I'm just so afraid of myself** ," There was a big lump in my throat that threatened to block my airway, as I tried to continue, "I..I-I can't stand being alone at night sometimes." 

I suddenly felt Lexa's hand rubbing on my knee. Sparks ignited inside of me as I hitched my breath. _Fuck._

"I understand." My eyes widened.

_Wait did I heard that right?_

"I know how it feels Clarke, I've been in your position before," Lexa gave a subtle smile, even though it was small. It felt like it was the world to me, "I'm so proud of you. You're so strong, resilient, you're everything that I've only imagined someone could be like." This all felt like a dream. My heart started to speed up and thrummed against my chest. 

"I-I don't know what you're talking about Lexa," I said, "I don't believe that I've been a somebody that's significant. I've been a _fuck up_ ever since I landed here. Every where I touched there was death. I touched my dad and he died, I-I took care of Raven and she died. I tried to take care of myself and I al-almost killed mysel-,"

I found it difficult to breath, I was fighting for air. The thoughts in my brain were streaming into my head at a rapid pace, bursting through the walls that I built in defense to save myself. I felt like I was in too deep in the tides of my thoughts, struggling for air and drowning, trying to find a grip before getting too overwhelmed. _I need an anchor to save me and keep me in place...I need-_

Without thinking I gripped Lexa tightly and sobbed into her, letting out my choking cries of my pain. 

She embraced me and let me dampen her shoulder with my tears, not giving a care in the world. 

"Shhhhh....It's going to be okay," She cooed, "I'm right here. I'm always here. I'm not going to leave you, I'm here for you," My sobbing became less and less as she hushed my crying.

"Shhhh....like I said, it's going to be alright. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm always going to be here you know that?"

She started to rub circles on my back with her thumbs. My heart felt like it was becoming undone under her touch.

I tried not to exhale as I shuddered under her embrace. I'm now feeling myself finally calm down and catching up with my breath. I lighly pushed away and looked her directly in the eyes. 

"Lexa?"

"Hmmm?"

"Why me? Why do you care about me?"

"Because you deserve the whole world," She cupped my face,."You deserve everything." 

"I'm afraid that I'll lose you too."

"You won't. I'll always be with you Clarke, you know that."

"It terrifies me how amazing and you are," I said, trying my hardest to not fall into a trance and get lost in those...eyes, " **You are my lifebuoy that helps anchor me."**

Lexa didn't say anything in response, but she grinned. _This girl is making me get so lost in her personality._

I nuzzled myself against her neck, breathing in her scent and pushing myself further into her embrace. She started to hum, the vibrations from her throat rumbled across my whole body.

Lexa terrifies me, she's so amazing and wonderful and I always feel like I don't deserve her.

It's hard to describe but _fuck._

My emotions get so tangled up in thoughts of her being herself.

The dark river that chaotically churns in my mind always dries up when I'm with her.

She helped me become my better self. It feels so right to be in her arms right now, In this embrace. I'm glad it was nighttime since the shadows hid a dark blush that was creeping up my face.

There's so many words to describe her but I-

I can't- 

I just-

**Fuck.**

**I think I'm falling really hard for her.**


	8. Humanity's Final Battle: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which two worlds collide...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got deleted twice. It's so frustrating to rewrite it all from memory...but I did it!

_Does humanity really deserve a second chance?_

_Do we deserve it after what we put each other through?_

_I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't know._

* * *

The sun's rays punctured through the thick forest trees, shining it's light on the marching people. I noticed that the trunks were deeply engraved with knife carvings to indicate that we were on Trikru territory. The march from Polis had been a long one, but we had no ambushes so far. My hood had blocked some of my view, but I didn't bother taking it off. I felt very uneasy about doing all of this, but last night with...Lex-I mean the Commander helped me catch up to myself once and for all. I rubbed my bad arm feeling the bumps of the scars from my self-inflicted wounds, I took a deep breath and kept walking with my head high. I saw Lexa a few hundred feet in front of me, talking to generals from other clans. Her war amour made her look so powerful

_She was the healer of my wounds, both physical and mental. She was my savior-_

**"Busy looking at your girlfriend?"**

"Anya!" I gasped, pushing her away as a reflex, "You almost scared the living hell out of me."

She grinned knowing that she caught me day dreaming about the Commander. My cheeks flushed pink in embarrassment. 

"I mean, you're Wanheda. So you might have some hell like experiences-"

I shoved her again, noticing her laughter.

"Hey, you're also the same girl who tried to choke me," I shot back.

Anya almost froze but kept up with my pace, "I'm not here to tease you, although that would be nice. I'm here to apologize," She started, "Lexa hasn't been through loss or true pain until the day she found out Costia was dead. It almost broke her." She sighed, "I didn't mean to harm you in that way. I just didn't want it to happen to her again, but I trust you Griffin and you know it's very hard to earn my trust."

We walked together for a bit until I felt a nudge on my shoulder.

"Hey Griffin," Anya started again, "You better treat her right or else me..," she pressed her finger on my chest, "and you are going to have many more rounds in the interrogation room." I knew she was teasing, but she had a serious tone as well. I knew where Anya was coming from. She acted like the older sister, even though she was Lex-I mean the Commander's second, she always was extremely protective of her.

"But," Anya said, "I'm still going to tease you until the end of your days Clarke."

"And what happens if you find me dead in this battlefield?" I asked. 

"I'll make sure that you don't, Griffin," She patted my shoulder. 

"Thanks for having my back," I said, "You never know when it might break." I saw Anya narrow her eyes at me, trying to understand what I just said. 

"Oh it's a _Skaikru_ saying. It doesn't actually mean that I have your back, it means that I am always there for you no matter what. It's a phrase that we always use when we have trust in one another. And the 'never know when it might break' part means that I am also inferring to the literal and physical part of the joke-"

"I know, I just wanted to see you ramble on like an idiot," Anya smirked. I lightly punched her and gave her a 'i hate your guts' type of look before crossing my arms, pretending that I'm mad at her.

"Hey," she said, "I'm more funnier and playful than the Commander. She's more serious than I am, but she has a sense of humor so you don't have to worry about her not getting any dirty jokes of yours-"

"Anya!"

"Okay! Okay! I'll stop."

But she didn't. We talked about the most ridiculous things as we continued our march. Our laughter filled up the air and changed the environment to make it feel lighter. Some of the warriors around us even chimed in with our jokes, trying not to get too caught up in the dark fate that we were stuck in. I caught Indra's glance one time and she gave me a 'stop being so foolish and focus on the war' type of gaze. Anya teased me so much about the Commander that I became a pro at hiding my blush. 

The cool breeze drifted across my cheeks, reminding me that we were getting closer to Azgeda territory. The bright green color on the leaves started fade into a more darker tone. Snow started to decorate the grass and the dirt as the temperature started to drop. The greenery was behind us while the darker forests and mountains were in front of us. We were very close to the border of Azgeda. 

I heard a war horn from the distance. 

"Hey," I poked Anya, "Is that from us?"

She looked puzzled and turned her head trying to find the direction of the sound. The horn rang through the air once again. 

"Wait," she said, "The scouts aren't that far from here, but the horn was played at a distance."

The realization gripped Anya as her eyes went wide in surprise.

  
"Queen Nia knows we are here!" She shouted, "Be ready and armed!" 

I heard multiple sounds of swords being drawn, the environment suddenly became more hostile. People started to gear up. Suddenly, our army came to a halt. The Commander's hand was in the air signaling us to stop where we were. I realized that she was so powerful that she could signal a retreat right now and no one would shout in protest.

"I need to speak to the Commander," I said, but Anya gripped my arm, "No. She wouldn't want you to get in the midst of the crossfire. The Commander is facing this on her own." I saw Queen Nia and the Azgeda army rapidly coming toward us but also stopped as well, giving a few hundred feet that separated the two different worlds. Even though there were thousands of warriors there was a complete stillness in the air.

"Who are you doing this for?" The Commander stated in a loud tone. "Why do you always insist on attacking us and sabotaging me?" 

"Humanity doesn't deserve a second chance. We were all meant to continue the cycle of violence. It's in our blood-"

"You're blaming humanity just so that you can have an excuse to take our power. You're the reason why we're fighting this war, you and your nation are soaking in the violence and greed that you're too afraid to let go of. You set up the ambushes and stole weaponry from different clans in order to try to convince the other clans that my coalition wasn't working."

"You're blaming me for Costia aren't you-"

"Costia has nothing to do with this. The dead are gone. The living are hungry. We are all now hungry for peace, we're tired of the blood baths and that's why I united the twelve clans together, but you just want to wipe my face off the earth."

"You don't understand. **You're the only person that has lead humanity towards such a useless concept.** The nuclear wars are evident that we are meant to have conflicts and battles. It's human nature-"

"The wars will end now." The Commander said. On cue, the war horns from our side of the battle field were heard. 

"STARTING WITH THE FALL OF AZGEDA!" 

Our armies surged forward like a raging stream. Battle cries and the drawing of blades were the only things that were heard.

The Azgeda army clashed against ours, trying to push us back.

The sound of blades clanging against one another filled my ears.

This was it.

This is finally happening.

The final battle that humankind ever had to fight in order to obtain true peace. I saw the faces on some of the warriors, their anger prominent on their faces as they fought off the only people that were preventing them from getting what they have wanted for so long. I felt relieved that we were on the brink of peace. This was the moment that their societies have been waiting for, and I was here to see it happen.

But something else was pressing on to my mind. 

_How did Azgeda know?_

_Who had informed them in time that their armies were coming to attack?_

Some victory cries were heard. I notice that we were pushing further into the the enemy's territory. I saw the Azgedan warriors trying their best to push us back from invading their land. I had to give it to them, they were resilient and had a very defensive attack.

I took a deep breath and went into the forest, not caring about the dangers inside.

I crouched against a tree and prepared myself to hunt for her. _I know it was her that did it._ I took a quick look before taking my hood off, letting my hair loose. My golden hair had streaks of red and pink that I put on yesterday remembering that it used to be all red before I took a bath. I rolled up the sleeve of my bad arm and noticed all the scars from my self-inflicted wounds. I inhaled and took a deep breath, hearing the noises of war close by. _Time to go on the hunt._ I grabbed some warpaint from my back pocket and smeared it across my eyes, trying to remember what I did during the summit from memory. I gripped my dagger and went deeper into the forest. 

My footsteps were very light making sure that I didn't put any pressure. I dodged some trees and jumped over some branches before hearing a twig snap.

_She knows i'm here._

I heard an arrow hit a tree, noticing that the distance was around ten feet away from my head. 

_Bad aim._ I noted.

I spun around to see my target quickly drawing another arrow. Before she could shoot again I threw my blade, it cut through the air and plunged itself into her arm. She howled in pain and dropped her bow.

I lunged and shoved her roughly against the tree and used another dagger to press the knife into her skin, slowly carving a line in her chest.

She let out a bloody cry as I clamped her mouth shut with my free hand.

Her fabric started to turn into a deep maroon color from the gashes that I inflicted on her.

"You think I'm that stupid to just wander here on my own?" I hissed, "I thought you were the brave soul that managed to kill three people within two seconds, yet here you are avoiding everyone like a coward-"

"You don't know anything about me, _Wanheda_ ," She replied, "You don't know who the hell you're talking to-"

"I know who you are," I spat back, "You're Azgeda's top spy that told your evil little queen that we were coming."

Her eyes widened in surprise as she tried to wriggle free from my grasp. _She knows she got caught._

"You're lucky _Wanheda,_ " She hissed, "You're very lucky that the commander hasn't killed you yet-" 

I roughly threw her on the ground, pinning her arms so that she couldn't escape from my grasp.

"Now," I said, "You're going to tell me where Roan is and I'll spare your life." 

"I will never tell you where he is, you loner scum-" I punched her hard, almost knocking her out.

"I will repeat myself, Echo," I said. "You're going to listen to me and comply with me. Tell. Me. Where. He. Is." 

She didn't respond and glared at me.

I gripped her by the collar of her shirt and smacked her across the jaw, noticing the blood that stained her teeth

Before she could react I firmly pressed my knee into her stomach. She grunted and clenched her teeth, trying to hide the pain that she was going through as I slowly crushed her insides. 

"STOP!" She cried, "STOP!"

I put more pressure on her stomach and dug my fingers into her chest, pressing my nails against her wound. 

"STOP! I'll tell you where he is! HeiswaitingformetokillyousothathecandeliveryourdeadbodytothequeennowpleaseletmegoIbegyouhavemercyonme!"

Tears started to fill her vision from the immense amount of pain she was experiencing. I let go of her but forced her to stand up. I tore up some fabric from my sleeves and approached Echo.

"Wait, what are you doing," She whimpered, her eyes filled with fear, "Please don't hurt me I told you where he was."

"I know," I replied, "But I have a better idea."

I tightened the gag that was buried in her mouth, I covered her hood and made sure that her face wasn't able to be seen by anyone. I used the second piece of fabric to tie her wrists together. I didn't have a solid rope but the knife pressed against her neck reminded her that I wasn't afraid to slit her throat at any second.

"Walk," I commanded, "Or else Roan or Queen Nia won't ever see your pretty face again."

She complied immediately and started to move forward. We passed by the arrow that was stuck in the tree, reminding me of how I managed to make Azgeda's top spy cower in fear below me. Whenever she swallowed she felt like the steel blade was about to cut her. 

"Hmmph! Hmmph! MMMMPH!"

A twig snapped nearby. I quickly grabbed my hostage as we both hid behind a tree, hiding under the protection of the darkness. 

"Now, remember what I told you," I whispered, "If you scream or do anything against what we had both you and Roan will be dead in an instant. Remember that I took care of your wounds instead of letting you bleed to your death." I took off her gag and nodded for her cue. 

"I have Wanheda's body!" She cried out. 

I saw Roan nearby trying to walk to the noise but he smiled and stood still.

"Good job Echo. Bring me the body and I will gladly deliver her head to Queen Nia."

I knocked Echo out and kicked her to the ground in front of Roan. I used the time that I bought to quickly and quietly sneak up behind him. I was in striking range when he lifted the hood to see that it wasn't me.

He was about to react but I struck him from behind.

When he turned around I used my dagger to stab him on the shoulder. He howled in response as he pried off the dagger from his skin.

He roared in anger and shoved me backwards, drawing out his sword. I gripped my dagger tightly as he charged.

Both of our weapons collided with a ringing sound. I used all of my strength to try to push him back.

My feet were digging holes into the earth, putting pressure against the dirt. I heard the unfortunate sound of my blade starting to crack. Roan noticed this and pressed his sword even harder with the rage in his eyes burning into my skin.

My blade finally snapped in half, my eyes widened in surprise. Roan lifted his sword to strike again but I ducked, the blade swinging into the air where I once was a few seconds ago.

I felt his feet collided with my face as I stumbled backwards, seeing black dots enter my vision.

Anger coursed through my veins as I lunged forward, knocking his sword and digging my fingers into his shoulder wound. He cried in pain and kneed me in my stomach, I gasped for air but felt his knee strike me again in my lower region.

I didn't have time to react as he smacked me out of my senses. I lost all sense of direction and balance.

He grabbed my throat pinned into the ground.

His steel grip making it hard to squirm out of. I felt both of his hands grasp my throat as I tried to gasp for air. 

"You fought well," He said, "Too bad you won't be alive for much longer."

His hold on me tightened and his fingers dug into my neck, trying to prevent me from breathing. My hands tried to pry his arms off of me so that he couldn't crush my throat.

My vision started to become blurry when his grip got stronger. My strength was starting to weaken and I felt like I was hopeless against him.

He tried to put more pressure but winced at the pain from his shoulder, the blood spilling out from him at an alarming rate, dampening the surrounding fabric and turning it blood red. The thought suddenly slipped into my head. _Remember...what you did with Kane_ , I thought. I risked releasing my hands and buried my fingers into his eyes. He hollered in surprise and released his grip on me, all of the possible air that existed returned to my lungs.

I quickly got up and ran towards his blade and faced him, knowing that I had the upper hand here.

He tried to lunge for the blade but I slashed it across his face. He clawed at his own face trying to prevent the blood from flying everywhere while losing all sense of balance.

I pressed him against the tree and put the sword to his neck.

"Your fight is over." I stated.

I ripped the blade through his skin. The familiar stench of blood entered my nose when I saw the blood oozing out from his neck. His face rapidly became pale and his life faded quickly from his bloodshot eyes. He made an inaudible groan as he fell backwards to the ground, drowning in a puddle of his fluid until he became limp. 

**"I am become death, destroyer of worlds."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanheda has risen.


	9. Humanity's Final Battle: Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the savior fights for humanity one last time...
> 
> I'm trying to get better at fight scenes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Old notes: Thank you guys so much for 1000+ hits! This means so much to me. I didn't expect this story to go very far since I was just writing this to pass time during quarantine.)

_You don't scare me. You never did, which is why you actually cared for me, and saw that I was special._

_Well, that was a stupid mistake, cause now I care for you as well._

_I'm still so, so mad at you._

* * *

_"Come on, strike me like you mean it!"_

_Sweat is dripping down the girl's face. Her headache was pounding against her brain. Her arms were starting to feel like jelly and her legs were very stiff. Her muscles were aching and she was trying to steady her breathing. She tried her hardest to not look exhausted but she couldn't believe how many hours of training she had to go through. However, Indra didn't even break a sweat._

_In the few weeks she's been at Polis she's trained for about 8 hours each day. Indra wanted to make sure that she was ready for anything to happen, and now they were going to be going to war tomorrow. Since the summit was in the morning, she had plenty of time to train with her before it was dark._

_"What are you going to do when Azgeda warriors try to attack you," Indra said, "Will you run? Hide?"_

_She shook her head to play along, trying her best to not look tired and worn out. She prayed to the Ark for strength._

_"Well come on and fight me," Indra commanded, "They're not going to give you time to recover like I will-"_

_She rushed Indra and was going to strike her until she struck her hard in the chest, "You don't attack while leaving yourself open," She shoved Clarke. The push was so strong that she almost lost balance, "You can't let your opponents know your next move." Indra was about to attack but she gripped her arm and swung it in order to leave herself exposed. She used this frame of opportunity to jab her in the chest, trying not to seriously harm her. "Nice work," Indra said, "But are you ready for this-" She charged at her at full speed. She braced for impact with her arms blocking her face. She tried to stay rooted to the ground when she felt a massive force almost knock her down. She let her arms go to her side as she gripped Indra, trying not to let her attack her again. The girl kneed Indra and dug her fingers into her shoulders, putting a certain amount of pressure that made it painful but not an injury type of painful. Indra grunted and tried to pry her hands off of her, but the girl's steel hold made it hard. Indra_ _tapped her hands, signaling for her to stop. She let go and was in shock since this never happened before._

_"Good job Clarke," Indra said, "You've made a lot of progress since we've started training together here. Even though you told me you had...outside experience when you fought this Kane guy, you've come a long way from that."_

_"Am I interrupting something?"_

_Clarke spun around to see that she was facing the Commander. Lexa was leaning on the entrance and smiled at her._

_"Oh no," Clarke said, "We were just finishing up training?"_

_"She's done very well Commander," Indra said, "She has made a lot of progress and will be ready for the war."_

_"I'm impressed," The Commander replied, "Thank you Indra for teaching her your ways of training."_

_"Clarke has her own defensive attack style," Indra beamed, "She was able to find her own technique while fighting me. She knows when to strike and when to defend. She's come a far way. I will see you elsewhere, Commander." Indra patted Clarke on the shoulder and walked out of the room, leaving just the Commander and Clarke together._

_"You never told me you had your own fighting style," The Commander said, "I'm very intrigued by this. Can you show me?"_

_"I could," Clarke smiled, "But I'm afraid I might hurt you."_

_"Don't be afraid," The Commander replied, walking toward Clarke "I'll make sure that I can quickly defeat you so you don't have to worry about it."_

_Clarke chuckled, but had a slight feeling of worry, "Do your worst." She said._

_The Commander charged at Clarke, but she braced herself in her normal defensive position. Before she could strike Clarke gripped her arms, realizing that the Commander's strength almost had overwhelmed her. She did the same thing to Indra and dug her fingers into her skin, but noticed that the Commander wasn't feeling any pain. "Nice try," Lexa said, "You're going to have to do more than that to make me wince in pain." The Commander used her brute force to knock Clarke backwards. Before Clarke could do anything she was struck again and pressed against the wall._

_"You know," Lexa said, "You're not bad for a fighter. But admit it, I'm better."_

_Clarke had just realized how close Lexa's face was to her and tried to wriggle free from her grasp._

_"Make me." Clarke challenged._

_Before Lexa could do anything she pressed her finger's into Lexa's eyes, only this time she didn't try to gouge them out. Lexa's grip on her relaxed for a few seconds, giving her time to attack. Clarke jabbed her and gripped her shoulder's and roughly shoved her to the ground. She pinned Lexa's wrist over her head._

_"Sorry, I thought you were the Commander of the Twelve Clans?" She teased._

_"And I thought you were the infamous Wanheda." Lexa responded. She hooked her legs on Clarke's back and flipped them around, with her own wrists being pressed to the ground as the Commander pinned her down. Clarke felt something in her system spark, but it wasn't the type of spark like before. She felt something else, something more physical._

_"Say I'm the best and I'll let go."_

_"Never."_

_" Say it."_

_Something changed in the Commanders eye's. She thought they were dark and filled with-_

**_"Come on guys, get a room!"_ **

_Anya was at the doorway of the training room and noticed us. Lexa scoffed and let go off me._

_"Sorry," she said, "I was just teaching Clarke a lesson."_

_"If I didn't enter the room you guys would've-"_

_"ANYA!" We both shouted._

I scanned the battlefield, trying to find Queen Nia.

Gustus wasn't anywhere in my sight but I knew he was busy fighting and pushing into Azgeda territory. When the battle first started, Queen Nia had retreated letting her army consume any sight of her.

But now that we had successfully pushed into their forests it was much easier to fight them off. I drew my twin blades out, examining the dry blood that was splattered over them. I hated using my swords but I knew it was necessary since every Azgeda warrior wanted my head to be cut off for Queen Nia.

I trudged deeper into the gloomy and dim trees, hearing a crunching noise every time my feet made contact with the cold and dirt surface. I was on high alert in case any spy or scout was trying to shoot me down with their arrows or ambush me.

Suddenly, I heard a faint cry at the distance and heard a sword meet contact with someone's throat.

 _Wanheda_. I thought. I shook my head at the possible thoughts that were going to enter my mind of how she killed that person.

I had to admit that the Commander of Death sometimes was a wonder in itself. She was mysterious, resilient, and always had a story to tell behind her looks. Her fierceness and vulnerability was easy to see whenever it was just me and her. She had a defense mechanism and a response every time I tried to comfort her. It was only last night that she was able to fully let her guard down with me. 

The week before her incident with the knife she always pushed me away, I knew something was bothering her ever since I saw her step foot into the palace. I knew she wouldn't kill me the day she pressed that steel blade to my throat, the expression on her face was a dead give away but I didn't do anything to stop her even though there was a hundred ways to fight back.

My patience with her always made her question why I was helping her and why I was always caring for her. I could see it in her eyes as she gazed at me in wonder why I wasn't wearing any war paint or any war armor the two times I was there for her. I decided to show her the other side of me so that she could know that she was safe in my arms and in my presence. I cared for her in a different way than I cared for Anya, Indra, and.....even Costia. 

_Oh Costia,_ I thought, _You would've loved this girl._

Clarke was one thing, _Wanheda_ however was another. It was as if she had two different personalities. Clarke was her own authenticity, her own personality that was charming, sweet, open yet mysterious, and brave. I feel like Wanheda is all of her anger, stress, and vindictiveness that she buried deep inside of her. Wanheda is a ferocious, rutheless, perseverant warrior that had lots of brute strength thanks to all of Indra's training. I knew that Wanheda could only go on for so long before she became Clarke Griffin again, or at least that what I hoped would happen.

_What if Wanheda tries to attack me and challenges me to the death?_

_What if-_   
  


"So we meet again, _Heda_."

My veins turned ice cold.

I gripped my blades with all of the strength I had.

I tried to contain all of the anger that was coursing through my system.

My arch-enemy was standing right in front of me on her horse with a few other high ranked warriors beside her.

I can't believe still even gave her a chance even though she ripped my heart out after killing Costia. 

"Queen Nia, in the flesh. Who would've thought?" I mocked. Queen Nia got off of her horse as her generals started to advance towards me.

  
"It's a shame that my warriors are slowly losing to the twelve clans." She stopped within a few feet from me, "But you could end this all. Let Azgeda rule over the coalition and we'll guide you-"

"Azgeda is a long lost cause," I interrupted, "I already told you this before. You're in my way of getting what humanity really wants."

"Is this what we really want?" Queen Nia asked, "Does humanity really live for peace? How many years will it be before the next war will happen?"

"Never," I responded, "I'm going to make sure of that. We are the last of the human race and I can't afford to let us all get wiped out thanks to you-"

"You're leading your warriors to a battle. Isn't that ironic-"

"Victory stands on the back of sacrifice," I shot back, "My warriors wanted to fight for peace. They wanted to fight this battle and give it their all since it would be Humanity's final battle." 

"You're so delusional with your goals, _Heda,"_ Nia spat with a venom tone, "You're just trying to control _Wanheda_ like Cos-"

"You think you know everything about me, but you don't," I tried my best to not let her get into my skin, "You think that you know what my intentions are but you're just wrapped around in your dumb little assumptions that get you nowhere other than war."

Queen Nia didn't respond, but her blue frozen eyes were locked with mine. I braced myself and was ready for her to attack as she walked back.

"Attack!" She commanded to her warriors. 

_Oh so this is how you want to do this? Fine._

Her generals charged at me with their weapons raised.

_Their so foolish, even for skilled warriors._

I used my twin blades to quickly slash through them, not even breaking a sweat. 

They cried in pain as they clutched onto their skin where my blades sliced through but they quickly got up and charged at me again. They collided their weapons with mine, but I quickly parried them and sliced their necks, one by one. They dropped like flies on the ground, turning the snow red with their blood.

Queen Nia tried not to look surprised at how quickly I was able to take them down, but I felt uneasy as she drew her long spear out. It's shiny and sharp blade could cut through someone's skin and end their life within mere seconds. 

"That was just warm up," Nia said, "You won't be able to see your poor _Wanheda_ after facing me."

I knew what I was going up against. She trained Roan and Echo herself and always used her special spear in battles like these.

She was almost as skilled as myself so I know that this will be a tough duel. 

"Do your worst." I challenged. 

She charged at me with her spear pointing straight at my chest. I parried the blade with my twin swords and hit her spear. Queen Nia quickly spun her spear around and hit me with the back of it in the process.

I stumbled backwards but quickly blocked another strike from her. _She's a fast one._

Our blades clashed with each other again.

Our fighting paused. 

My swords were both starting to shake as Nia's spear tried to push them down.

I rooted myself to the ground while my feet were slowly sinking into the dirt.

Queen Nia noticed that my swords were starting to shake and pushed her spear downwards. My swords fell out of my hands.

I didn't have time to attack when her foot collided with my chest. I flew backwards and lost my breath as my back smacked itself on a tree. I gasped in agony and saw her advancing on me, with the tip of blade pointing dangerously close to my chest. She smirked evilly as she aimed. She lifted her spear into the air and...

...her blade met wood instead of skin. I moved my head in time and saw the look of surprise on her face. I twirled my legs around and kicked her with all my strength. She lost her balance and fell to the ground.

I quickly got up and saw her charging at me with her spear. She swung it at me but I quickly ducked, gripping her spear and prying her hands off of it.

I moved the spear in a diagonal motion. She avoided the first swing but cried as the blade sliced across the skin of her leg.

I smacked her face with the bottom of the spear. She tried to grip it with her hand once again, but I moved it in an upwards motion as it cut through her chest and face. Blood flew out of her nose and mouth as she coughed out more red liquid from her system. I twirled the spear around and pressed it against her neck seeing her face of defeat wash over her.

_Costiaisdead AnyasaidIlookedatherinshocked_

_anddisbelief_ _No ireplied thatcan'tbepossibleI_

 _grewpaleandeverythingbecame_ _ablurAnyatried_

_toshakemebackintoreallitybuttearsfogged_

_upmyvision_ _iwasshakingsohardthatIfeltlikejelly_

 _Icouldn'tbelieveandprocesswhatshe_ _hadjustsaid_

_asIcriedintohershoulder QueenNiadiditshecut_

_offherheadinfront_ _ofallofAzgedashetortured_

_herandkilledherknowingthatyoulovedher-_

"Your fight is over," I said, zoning back into reality. I raised my spear and buried it deep into her chest. Queen Nia cried out one last time as her life faded rapidly from her eyes. She looked at me one last time before staring into oblivion. I didn't bother closing her eyes and left the spear in her chest.

My hands were stained with blood that wasn't mine. _It is done. It will be finally over soon-_

"You."

I spun around to the voice.

**Wanheda.**

Her hair was blonde and pink. Her face was smeared with war paint that was a similar pattern to the one she wore at the summit. I've seen warriors and generals from all walks of life but she....had a terrifying look to her face. Her blue eyes were enough to freeze my insides and make me suffer from frostbite. She gripped her sword that was splattered in blood.I thought about all the possible ways that Wanheda could've slaughtered him. 

_Roan must've died a horrible death_.

"You knew about Roan and Echo's plan to kill me, didn't you?"

_What is she talking about?_

"I don't know what you're-"

I felt my back slam against a tree. The tip of her sword was pressed on my neck.

"You were here in the forest and let me die. You know you heard Roan's voice in the distance." Shivers were sent down my spine from her venomous voice.

_She knew I was there._

_Shit._

_She must've followed my footprints to here._

"I was trying to hunt down Queen Nia. I don't know what's gotten into you-"

She put a bit more pressure on the blade but didn't let it cut through my skin.

I gulped and tried to keep my cool.

"Nothing has gotten into me. I am _Wanheda._ " Fuck. She's being controlled by her anger and her impulses. 

"Clarke. Please come back to me." I thought her facial expression changed for a second-

"You don't need Clarke. You need me." 

"No," I stood my ground, "Clarke please come back. I need you _._ "

Her face was dangerously close.

I felt her fuming breath in the cold air. 

She huffed and tried to bring herself to put more pressure on the blade but she couldn't. I know Clarke is still there. I had hope.

"Clarke," I repeated, "I need you here with me."

Her anger started to fade away. Her eyes went wide realizing what she was doing.

Her grip started to shake as she let go of me and dropped her sword.

"Lexa, I'm sorry I didn't know what had gotten into me I-"

She knelled down on the snow and started to sob. My heart dropped when she buried her face in her hands, noticing how damp her hands were. I crouched down beside her pulled her into an embrace, tightly holding on to her so that she knew she was safe in my arms. 

"Shhhh," I cooed, "It's over now. You don't have to worry. Everything is going to be okay."

"I almost killed you!" She croaked, burying her face into my chest. "I almost sliced your throat. I was so driven by my anger that- "

"Clarke, It's okay," I reassured her, pulling her even closer, "I will always be with you."

I didn't know what to expect at that moment. I thought she would pull away but she didn't. 

Something about this just felt right. 

A small blush creeped up along my cheek.

She felt right. 


	10. The Wrath of Wanheda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Clarke loses herself.

_You're the one who caused me to hate myself._

_You kept me alive long enough for me to become a monster._

_I absolutely hate you. I despise you so much. Just leave me here to die._

_Don't try to save me, because I'm a lost cause._

* * *

Roan is dead.

I killed him with my own two hands....

Well actually, with his own sword. 

I put my back against a tree while playing with his sword, reflecting and trying to absorb what I just did.

He died as a coward to the notion of peace and just wanted my head.

He was an example of a human being that was fully corrupted with violence and our primal instincts to fight each other.

Him and his mother acted like the past politicians before the Earth was wiped out; egotistical, courageous, self-centered, assertive, and ungenerous beings that only cared about their own profits and land. Politicians were like the leaders and ambassadors since they represent a certain viewpoint and have specific type of people who agreed with their viewpoints. But some of them are very controversial and would do anything to convince lobbyists to get money and funding. 

I only know all of this information from my dad in my spare time. I also became good at hiding and sneaking around since he worked as an engineer and he knew most of the Ark by heart. I remember spending hours on hours on end hiding while reading forbidden knowledge known as books. If I was caught, I knew that I would be interrogated and most likely executed. The Ark functioned more like an oligarchy than a democracy; the council were the only people that established ground laws and helped make sure that we obeyed them through the guards. We didn't have much of a choice other than to follow whatever they said, or else we would get floated. 

**"I knew the world would not be the same.**

**Few people laughed, few people cried, most people were silent....**

**I am become death, destroyer of worlds.**

**I suppose we all thought that, one way or another."**

I remember my father telling how Oppenheimer spoke those words after the first detonation of a nuclear weapon in July of 1945. He is the Father of the Atomic Bomb and said those words the day he witnessed the mushroom cloud that stretched into the sky. According to my dad, the nuclear bombs were launched by the United States on Japan at the end of World War II. The explosions shook the world by storm and made us realize the how powerful they were.

I felt like Oppenheimer since a similar thing happened to me on the Ark. 

I let Raven launch the bomb.

There were no wrist bands or any sort of electricity that could shock those who were corrupted back into themselves.

There was no kill switch or button to destroy the A.I. that breached the Ark.

There was nothing I could do, yet I let it happen.

I still remember that awful day.

I didn't protest against it and I didn't resist it.

I knew it was for the best and we couldn't fix it, we couldn't reverse time. 

Home now felt like a fuzzy concept even though I was born in space and lived on the Ark.

Therefore, it should be my home but it isn't. 

Everything I knew was shattered in front of me, and I barely had anytime to mourn other that the time I pushed Lexa away for a week. I didn't care at this point if I called her "The Commander" or "Lexa", she showed me both sides of her personality. One that is more vulnerable than the other, one that is more timid than the other. Her other self was masked in war paint and armor, making her The Commander. Even though she looks gruesome and could kill someone in the blink of an eye I knew that she is a peaceful person that fought to save the twelve clans from self-destruction.

She's seen me when I am Wanheda but not enough times to know who I really am.

The smeared black ink made me feel like someone else, it was a symbol of my vindictiveness. I learned to suppress my anger and stress ever since I was born. The Ark's fraudulent government always told me to be quiet, obey the rules, and behave like the good little citizen that I am. From there, it was like a snowball rolling down a hill as my antagonism and hatred grew everyday. The urge to act upon it was harder to resist the more the days dragged on. I remember reaching a breaking point when the memories of my father always bedeviled my mind. I've seen my entire world get destroyed in mere milliseconds, and I still haven't been able to full absorb the shock from it. 

"Where is the Queen?"

"We need to tell her that the Commander is in this forest!"

"We need to tell her that we're losing the war."

"I can't find Roan or Echo anywhere nearby." 

"We need Wanheda's body to make them surrender."

"We've scouted Wanheda nearby here so keep going."

My ears shot up. I heard the voices start to get closer and louder, they were approaching where I am very soon. I gripped my sword and darted away. I hid behind a tree, waiting for their reaction to when they see Roan's body slumped on the floor. The familiar sound of crunching dirt and chattering filled up my ear. 

"Roan is dead!"

"Did the Commander kill him?"

"How did he die?"

"Is Wanheda still alive?"

"Let's check his body."

_Right. Like that would totally help._ I tipped my head slightly out of my hiding position, seeing that they were trying to shake him back to life. _How pathetic, what a waste of time._ I scoffed loudly, realizing my mistake when I was too late.

"Who's there?"

I pressed my back against the tree, making sure that they couldn't see me.

I sighed, I guess its time to make my appearance.

"Echo? Is that you?" 

Fix that. It's time to fake my appearance. 

"I'm not," I replied, trying to mimick her deeper tone, "It's a shame Roan is dead."

"Echo if that's you quit playing around."

I shut my mouth.

"You sound different."

I kept quiet.

"Echo come on-"

"Just keep looking at Roan," I interrupted, "See if he has anything." They somehow obeyed me and went down to check him, noticing that their backs were exposed to me.

"We need _Wanheda_ 's body so that we can show The Commander."

"According to Queen Nia, it's her true _weakness!_ " The laughs of mockery cause something to trigger inside of me.

My boiling rage started to erupt from the cage that I contained it in.

It wasn't that they were pointing fun at the Commander, it was the insulting nature that came from within themselves that made my antagonism start to build up. 

Flashbacks of the guards laughing while shoving people against walls....

Flashbacks of Jaha smiling while he pulled the switch that floated people...

Flashbacks of the council laughing at me while I begged for mercy....

Flashbacks. Flashbacks.

Flashbacks. 

I have bore the losses of the Ark for so long.

I have been oppressed and silenced for so long.

I have been mocked for so long.

I have been put under some sort of image for so long.

This was enough.

My world was eradicated faster than Earth.

I stepped out from my hiding, noticing again that their backs were facing me while they were crouched down examining Roan's body. I clutched my sword with all of my might and I raised it in the air...

I'm sick of being quiet.

I'm sick of being polite.

I'm sick and tired of bottling up my emotions all the time...

I'm sick...of...

I'M SICK OF EVERYTHING.

**I. AM. WANHEDA.**

**AND I AM THE COMMANDER OF DEATH.**

My sword slashed at one of the warriors backs, hearing their blood curling scream as I buried my blade into their spine. I pressed my foot against their back and removed my sword that was jammed into their insides, seeing him collapse and lay limp. The other warriors looked at me with the color drained from their faces with horror, quickly getting up to face me. 

"It's-it's Wanheda," One of them quivered, "sh-she killed Roan-"

"Silence!" The other warrior spat, "We have to attack her! Now!" 

The three remaining warriors all charged at me at once. 

I swung my blade in a horizontal direction, hearing the satisfying sound of all of their weapons flying from their hands. I quickly raised my blade and flung it with all my might at the warrior one in front of me. He let loud a horrifying cry when the steel plunged into his chest, the blood poured out into his amour as he tried to reach out to me but fell face first on the ground.

_One._

I felt my head being crushed as the other warrior put me in a headlock. I ignored the pain that was threatening to crush me in half, his arms were bulging and trying to block my airwars. I clenched my teeth and dug my nails deep into his arms. His grasp became weaker on me and with all of my might I threw him on the ground, seeing his winded reaction as the air was knocked out of him. I put my hands around his throat, enjoying him struggle for air as he tried to pry my arms off of him. His face started to become blue until he stopped struggling, he deflated like a balloon and was limp.

_Two._

The coward warrior was still alive, trembling after witnessing the disgusting deaths his friends had met. I got up from where I was and ripped my sword from the other dead warrior, not caring if the red liquid splattered me. "P-please," the warrior begged, "P-please don't hurt me. H-have mercy please-"  
My knee collided with his stomach, his speech came to a halt as the air was knocked out from him. I smacked him in the face and grasped the collar of his shirt, bringing him real close to hear my fuming breath. 

"You," I spat with a venomous tone, "don't deserve. To live. You mocked the Commander and you came here to kill me." I didn't give him time to respond and shoved him backwards, making him tumble and lose balance and fall, leaving himself exposed. I raised my sword and stabbed him on the leg, hearing the satisfying cry of pain when I did so. I pulled out my sword. 

"Any last words?" 

"You're a monster-"

  
I buried the sword into his heart as his life was taken away in the blink of an eye. 

_Three._

I ripped out the blade, examining the blood that decorated my sword and made it look more....I don't know. I couldn't find the words.

**It doesn't matter. I am Wanheda and I ripped out their souls. I've had enough and I need more. I need more to let out everything that's been buried inside of me. I finally feel free of being caged up for so long. The Commander of Death is who I am, and no one can tell me otherwise. The blood that pours out of my enemies shows my anger and chaos being released. I feel liberated from myself, I feel so relieved. I can be who I am for once.**

I heard a distant voice. 

I started to walk to where I heard the voice was once present, looking for footprints or any kind of sign that she was in this forest. After walking for a few minutes I saw a bunch of dead bodies lying on the snow, their blood was still turning the snow pink and red.

When I looked up I saw her in the flesh.

The Commander. 

She was burying her spear into another person...no wait, she killed Queen Nia. She is the one that deserves death. She is the one who kept me alive while I was being tortured. She is the one who is to blame for all of this. She did everything to make me suffer. She let me live through the suffering I have gone through. She is the one who saved me from ending my misery. She is the one who broke me. She is the one that made me shatter and lose myself. She is the one that's going to pay.

**She managed to kill her and end her misery, but not my own.**

**She is the one who made me shatter and lose myself.**

My rage pumped my entire body, filling up my veins with the desire for vengeance. 

Her. 

Vengance for her death.

"You." 

She cowered at me. The Commander of the Twelve Clans was scared of me. She was scared of what I've become. She's scared of what she's done to me. 

She knew about Echo and Roan, she was just here to kill Queen Nia to cover it up. 

"You knew about Roan and Echo's plan to kill me, didn't you?"

"I don't know what you're-"

I slammed her against the tree. I used my sword and pressed it against her neck. 

"You were here in the forest and let me die. You know you heard Roan's voice in the distance." 

"I was trying to hunt down Queen Nia. I don't know what's gotten into you-"

I've had enough of her excuses that she saved me. I listened to my urges and put more pressure on the blade, enjoying seeing her nervous under my evil spell.

"Clarke. Please come back to me." What is she saying? She doesn't need Clarke. Clarke is dead. 

"You don't need Clarke. You need me." 

"No," She wasn't afraid of me, she thinks that Clarke will come crawling back to her arms. How pathetic. "Clarke please come back. I need you _._ "

I moved my head dangerously close to her face. I made sure she knew that I was fuming as my hot breath met hers. 

Put more pressure on the blade and everything will be over. All of your misery and pain from Clarke will be gone, Wanheda. 

_Whyme?Whydoyoucareaboutme?_

_Becauseyoudeservethewholeworld_

_She_ _cuppedmyfaceYoudeserveeverything_

_ I'm afraid that I'll lose you too _

_Youwon'tI'llalwaysbewithyouClarke_

_you know that_

_Itterrifiesmehowamazingandyouare_

_Youaremylifebuoythathelpsanchorme_

**Who am I doing this for?** You are doing this to erase your pain.

 **Why?** Because your pain is suppressing your ability to live freely.

 **At what cost?** You are Wanheda, there is no cost for you. 

I couldn't bring myself to put more pressure. I couldn't do it.

I can't. I can't. I can't.I can't. 

"Clarke," She repeated, "I need you here with me."

**WAKE UP CLARKE. WAKE UP!**

What the hell am I doing? What the hell did I turn myself in to?

I saw Lexa and my eyes went wide. I was in to deep with myself. 

I let my pain control me. I let my anger and my instincts have authority over my sanity. 

**Wake up.**

My hold on Lexa started to weaken. My grip started to weaken and my whole body started to shake. "Lexa, I'm sorry I didn't know what had gotten into me I-"

I let go of her and dropped to the floor. I was still shaken as I let my agony pour out. I knelled down on the snow in defeat.

My sobs filled the air as I let out inaudible noises. I almost killed Lexa. I almost killed the person that saved my life. I almost did such a horrible thing. Suddenly, I felt her warm soft hands embrace me into a hug, her tight hold making me felt safe in her arms.

"Shhhh," She cooed, trying to calm me down, "It's over now. You don't have to worry. Everything is going to be okay."

"I almost killed you!" I cried, burying my face into her chest, filled with shame, "I almost sliced your throat. I was so driven by my anger that- "

"Clarke, It's okay," She reassured me, pulling me even closer, "I will always be with you."

How could she forgive me? How is she so patient and empathetic towards me?

How is she such a peaceful soul? She is something I've never imagined a person could be like.

She came into my life when I really needed her. She saved me from myself. She saved me from falling into the deep abyss of my darkest desires.

She is _**my** _savior. 

* * *

The night fell upon the Earth with a blanket, concealing the sun and consuming the lands with darkness.The ink black sky was sprinkled with white dots that were the stars.

It was over. Humanity's Final battle had ended. 

Azgeda surrendered once they found out that Queen Nia was dead.

They were told that she was killed by the Commander in one-to-one combat. But instead of wiping the rest of their people out, they decided to let the Azgedans keep their culture and their ways, but let the generals run the town so that the heirs of Queen Nia weren't able to rule. 

"The Queen is dead!"

"The Queen is dead!" 

"The Queen is dead!"

"The Queen is dead!"

I walked with the Commander outside of the forest to see that our armies were chanting. Orange and yellow dots lit up the night from the torches in the distance. I wave of relief flooded over me as I realized that we have finally reached our goal. No more conflicts, no more war. The voices in the distance were filled with happiness and victory as they reached euphoria.

"You did it," I patted the Commander's shoulder, "You finally reached your goal. I'm so proud of you." 

" _We_ did it," she corrected me, "Without you, I wouldn't have been able to done it. I would've been stuck in the past, dwelling on the dead and Costia." 

"You saved me from myself," I grabbed both of her wrists, tracing over her knuckles with my thumbs. I thought she was blushing, but the shadows and darkness made it hard to tell. The moonlight made get lost in her emerald eyes. "You were the map that helped guide me."

She laced her fingers with mine, "And you were the savior that I didn't have my whole life."


	11. Slow Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they finally find serenity in each other's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Old update: I just realized an author who published a work with 70k+ hits bookmarked my story! Thank you so much!)

_You broke down all my walls._

_You somehow did._

_You like me for being me, you thought that I am strong, resilient, and so powerful for what I've been through._

_We saved each other in the end. We were both each other's saviors._

* * *

**"It took a whole lot of energy, to get back on my feet.**

**It’s being too long on the ground, the world will pull me down.**

**I just want to shout what, what were you thinking of today, Is this my**

**savior? Love again, No one can blame you." -** Savior

Warm thumbs rubbed circles along on my temples, relieving the unwanted pressure from that region.

My head was rested on her lap and my eyes were shut, it was quiet in my room but I could hear my breath trying not to shake under her touch.

Lexa is very much boyfriend/girlfriend/lover material; she's super charming, caring, pure, wholesome and always would listen to whatever was on my mind. I've never been in a relationship before and I don't even know if she has the same feelings towards me. For all I know she could be just doing all this to be a good close friend, or best friend or...I don't know. I don't know anything at this point. 

Everything used to be black and white until she came into my life and added the color that I was missing. 

"Something on your mind?" 

I almost let out a whine after her thumbs stopped massaging my head. I opened my eyes to see that she looked at me with a hint of concern in her eyes. 

"I'm...fine," I whispered, "I'm just thinking." 

"Thinking about what?" She moved parts of my hair, gently tracing her fingers along the top of my forehead. _Fucking hell._

"Oh it's nothing." I brushed her off, feeling a small wave of regret, "Nothing that you shouldn't worry about."

"I know you, Clarke," Lexa said, "I know when something's up." 

I slowly sat up from my position while feeling Lexa's eyes of curiosity linger on me. "I can't really describe it."

"Oh come on," Lexa playfully scoffed, "I hate it when you're bothered."

"It's been a few weeks and I've had some time to reflect," I started, slightly narrowing my brow in attempt to explain myself, "I think that....after all that happened I realized why I was so aggressive and distant. I couldn't properly comprehend that my old home was shattered into thousands of pieces for a long period of time. Every day felt like another milestone that I had to cross. It was mentally exhausting since I didn't really have anything to look forward to. But now I do."

She got up and offered me her hand, "You seemed a little stressed. Come, let's go to the throne room. It's dark and none of my guards are there," She smiled, _Oh my god she is so perfect,_ "I decided that I was going to surprise you with something while you were busy sleeping your head off." 

My cheeks suddenly felt warm but I managed to suppress my blush. _Thank you Anya for embarrassing me for hours on end._

"Alright," I walked towards the door pulling her with me, "I'm excited for what you're going to show me."

"You go ahead," She let go of my hand, "I have to get something first."

* * *

The torches were on the walls, lighting up the dark room that was usually consumed by the night. I walked past the throne itself and went out to the balcony, leaning on the stone railing. The warm breeze brushed my face, slightly ticking my cheeks. I really enjoyed the view of Polis from her throne room, seeing all of the city sleep peacefully under the stars. I was still trying to absorb the fact that there wasn't any more conflicts that they had to face. No more attacks, no more threats, no more stress. 

"Hey there handsome, you look nice in that white dress of yours." 

I shifted my gaze and....

I couldn't even...

wow....

oh my god...

...

Her dress was similar to the one that she wore a few weeks ago, except it was light grey.

A small gust of wind passed her as the fabric of her dress slightly danced with the wind, making her look so elegant and gentle. Her shining eyes glowed in the nighttime and the more I stared at them the more I felt a tug from an invisible rope that was slowly pull-

Snap out of it. 

"Oh hey," I clutched onto the railing making sure that I wasn't collapsing on the spot, "I didn't wait long so you didn't have to worry about rushing here." 

"I love how you're so patient with me." Lexa chuckled, cracking up a smile. _How long will this keep going on for, holy crap._ "I'm going to teach you a little bit about **dance** , sky girl." 

_Creators of the Ark please have mercy on me._

"I-I...uh...b-barely have any experience," I stuttered, "I'm surely going to embarrass y-you." 

"It's a type of **slow** dance so it will be easy." She gently grabbed my wrist, walking to the center of the balcony. "My ancestors used to do it long before the twelve clans existed." The moon was particularly bright tonight so it was going to be hard for me to hide my blush. _Oh well it's all or nothing at this point._

"Before we start we need to get in position," She explained. Lexa got a hold of both of my hands, putting one of them over her shoulder and the other hand she held to the side, interlacing our fingers together. "This dance is a type of ballroom dance that is called a Foxtrot Sway. And all you have to do is this," She moved us a step to the right, then back to where we started, then a step to the left, "We can stay moving side to side for awhile if you want, but sometimes we will move back and forth like so." She stepped forward, almost crushing my feet.

I slightly stumbled backwards, almost losing my grip and Lexa chuckled again. "You have a lot to learn sky girl." 

We got back in position.

"Are you ready?" She asked.

"Yes...but," I inhaled and cleared my throat, avoiding her eyes and looking at my hands, "..but first I just need to fix my position."

 _I need to shoot my shot or else this romantic tension is going to kill me_.

I put both of my hands around her nape, linking them together and slightly tugging us closer together.

Her touch is like a trigger, always setting an explosion of sparks and electricity when she made any sort of gentle contact with my skin. 

_Holy fuck she's going to be the death of me._

I felt Lexa tense up a little. I feared that I might have done something to set her off but I decided to keep my hands there. 

"Interesting..." was all that she spoke. 

We moved side to side, our feet started to become in sync with one another. I felt more confident until she stepped forward once again.

I suddenly lost balance and squeezed my eyes shut, readying myself for the impact...

...until I felt strong arms catch my fall.

Her face was close to mine. Our foreheads were almost touching.

My heart started to race. My nerves started to tingle. I felt very fuzzy.

I was so tempted to lean in and capture her lips right then and there-

"Want to try again?" _Goddamn it! I didn't even fight Lexa but she knocked the wind out of me. This girl is making me go crazy in my head._ I nodded, hoping that she also knew there was a spark between us like I did. She pulled me back up and I wrapped my arms around the back of her neck once again.

Except this time....both of her hands on my waist.

**_On the chancellors grave, I am going to die of a heart attack tonight._ **

This time we were both in sync, feeling more in unison and together under the stars.

We were at the same pace, none of us was rushing it. _It's now or never Griffin, you have to do it._

"Is love weakness?" I blurted out, realizing that I had snapped her out of a gaze, "Because I think it is." 

"If love is weakness," She answered, "Then why do you always show so much strength?"

I stopped moving and stood still. My eyes darted everywhere but at her, trying to think of an answer.

"Well...I've always been told or experienced that in some way or another that it is weakness. I loved my father, but he was ripped away from me to soon. After that, I loved Raven and took care of her, and it was her fault that I died. I thought it was always weakness since it broke me," I paused, holding back tears "My life was harsh and I decided to block love in order to survive on the Ark. But ever since I crash landed here I learned so much." 

**"And I realized that maybe life should be more than just surviving,"** I murmured, **"Don't we deserve that?"**

**"Maybe we do."** She whispered. 

This time I didn't mind if I got disoriented when I gazed into in her eyes. 

There were forests in her eyes with their leaves dancing gently in the wind.

I see the shape of the trees and the dark wood.

She saw the beauty in me and made my life worth living. 

I saw nature and all of it's beauty in her.

I noticed that we were slowly getting closer together until our foreheads touched.

Her breath tickled my nose, making me shiver. I hitched my breath and inhaled. 

I decided that this was it. I wanted to take the leap of faith.

I pulled her to me before our lips collided. 

**That's when our worlds met.**

Time stood still, the whole universe stopped.

The world was frozen at that moment. 

Lexa kissed back, moving her arms to cup my face and pull me closer with a feeling of want. But it wasn't the type of want where you lust over their body; it was the type of where you want to reciprocate the true romantic connection. My hands felt the texture of her hair and how soft it was, trying my best to not feel so numb and in shock of what is happening. I smiled against her lips, my emotions were failing on me and my brain was malfunctioning. I got so lost in the kiss that I held her even closer. I never felt this way in my life but it felt perfect. My lips felt right on her's, our bodies felt right together...

Everything about this felt so correct, as if we were meant to be together. She is the doctor that healed my wounds, she is the map that guided me, she is the heroine that saved my life, she is the life raft that kept me afloat. She is...

**She is my everything.**

This wasn't one-sided at all.

This was real. I couldn't believe it.

We slowly pulled apart, still gazing at each other in wonder. "Lexa..." I trailed but nothing could come out of my mouth. My dad hid a dictionary and I always read it almost everyday, getting to know and explore forbidden knowledge. Of all the words that my dad used to describe things, people, and issues, I couldn't find any for her. My brain always failed on me when I thought of her. All of the words that I knew couldn't truly define who she was.

She was just....

She was...

  
"Clarke, are you okay?" 

Lexa's hand caressed my cheek, wiping a tear that was trailing down my face. I rested my forehead on her chest, trying to hide my sadness. My lip started to tremble and more tears trickled down my skin.

"Clarke, everything will be okay. Even if you're not okay you're going to be fine. You're safe with me. And that's why I-" I adjusted myself to see her. Our faces were so close together, **"that's why you're you."** I knew what she was going to say. My heart felt warm, I nuzzled myself against her neck and breathed her all in. She smelled like the trees, the ground, and the natural earth. I gently kissed her neck and looked at her, trying my hardest to not fall into another trance.

"Lexa, what I've been trying to say is that...." I choked on my words. The lump in my throat made it difficult to breath.

**"I love you."**

I kissed her before she could react, knowing that she loved me as much as I loved her.

Knowing that she got lost in my eyes too. 

Knowing all the times that she looked at me, she felt the same way.

Knowing that she felt that I was her savior as well.

She saved me and I saved her.

I held her tight as if she was going to leave me...even though **I knew that we were going to be together for our lifetimes.**


	12. Author's Note: I

May 18th, 2020: Dear Readers, 

**I have made the tough and unfortunate decision to postpone this work. **

I realized that I rushed this story way too fast and there could've been a lot more backstories, details, descriptions, and flashbacks that would've made this story a bigger hit.

This alternate timeline could have been better, but I believe that I got too excited and caught up in the moment. 

I have to give myself credit since this is my first ever story on this website. There are so many talented authors that are on here that inspire me so much. I decided that I am going to take a temporary break and work on it a lot more before publishing any more chapters.

Thank you to everyone

May we meet again (very soon)

\- Des558

* * *

**UPDATE: 7/11/2020**

Dear (New and Old Readers), 

**I have made the decision to continue this work in order to finish up the rough draft.** There will be multiple POV's, not just Clarke's since her journey gets entangled with everyone else. And the past will bleed into the present and future. This altered timeline has so much potential - so does the flame, city of light, e.t.c. 

The final draft will be posted way in the far future, and I need to give myself a lot of time to plan it to pure perfection (for myself, and for you awesome readers and writers who view my work :D). 

Once I have finished this draft, I will still reply to new comments posted here. I love everyone's feedback/compliments. 


	13. Cleanse Me Of My History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they both experience things that they didn't want to face in the past. (3rd person POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow...it's been a month since I touched this work, hasn't it?
> 
> Octavia said, "We're back bitches!" I'm not giving up just yet. 
> 
> I'm going to finish the story then rewrite it. I will keep this story open even after I publish Draft 2 of this story.

**PART II: The Cyclones of Destruction and the City of Light**

_The final war caused a ceasefire among all the clans, leaving them to be in peace._ _For now, everyone lived in harmony...._

_Everyone but Clarke, so it seems, because her demons haunt her like never before._

* * *

_Mom!” The girl cried, “Why would you do this to me. Why would you turn your back on your own daughter!”_

_“Because I want to protect you-”_

**5 DAYS AFTER**

_The darkness of the girl's cellar helped her weep in silence. It was the only thing that felt stable in her life right now after her mom turned her into the guards that horrible day...or night._

_It didn't matter anymore. The girl lost track of time and the hours that passed by, only knowing if it was the next day with the tally marks she dug into the walls with a self-made steel blade. She didn't care anymore; she had nothing left to lose after her father was ripped from her hands. Her mother is no longer the person that she thought she was; the council had changed her forever. The days after her father was floated her mother started to become more and more distant with her. She thought that it was because she was mourning, but her mother acted like nothing happened._

_A pounding fist on metal snatched her from her mourning._

_"Prisoner 319, you have a visitor at your door."_

_The girl slowly got up and dragged her feet to the door._

_She flipped on a switch and adjusted her eyes to the lights above. She hadn't seen or bothered to turn them on in her cellar for the past few days._

_She was lucky that she even had a bed and a switch to herself. The girl assumed that her mother put her in the nicer prison quarters versus the ones that some of the workers are thrown into. The Ark easily killed off people as if they were fictional extra characters in stories, having no regard or second thoughts while doing so and making them drop like flies. She couldn't even imagine what it would've been like physically down there, but mentally she feels like she's been put in a suffocating chamber without any rations for days._

_The cellar door opens to someone she wishes that she never met or associated with in her life._

_"Hey there, It's me. I'm here to check up on you and see how you are doing."_

_She curled her fists._

_"Get out of my sight." She says coolly. Her gaze narrows; her eyes fixated and filled with anger._

_Her mother looks at her in complete shock. The guards exchange looks but escort her mother inside._

_"Let us know if you need help with the prisoner."_

_The girl noticed that her mom didn't even bother to correct the guards that it was her own daughter._

_As soon as the footsteps of the guards faded away, the girl broke eye contact with her._

_Her own mother let her suffer in her mind-space. After she watched her own father get sucked into space she had no time to recover from anything that was going on. She tried to intermingle with people and get along with her everyday life, trying to hold onto any anchor._

_She felt numb while trying to struggle to move on._

_She tried to hold on and cope with her mother; but that of course, didn't work out for her and she felt so hopeless in the cellar. Everything went down hill all because of her mother._

_Or that's what she believes after Abigail Griffin outed her to everyone in the crowd that dark night._

_"Honey you have to calm down, I'm here to check up on you."_

_"You're a little too late for that, don't you think?" She makes eye contact with her mom with a dark glint shimmering in her eyes, "I've been stuck in this iron cage for a few days yet it feels like I've been here for several weeks. You thought that you were so special that night when you decided to call me out to the guards just because you're in the stupid_ _fucking_ _council."_

_She didn't even care about her vulgarity at this point. It was the least of her worries after all the trauma she's been through._

_"You know I had to do it. I had to save us."_

_"Save us? Us as in you and me or Us as in the Ark ?" _

_She watched in confirmation that her mother didn't respond._ _"Of course, you did it for the Ark. Of course you did it for the population. Of course you did it just so that there wouldn't be any other riots that could harm the poor council's image. Of course you did it only for yourself. There is no us in this equation at all. There is only you, isn't that right?"_

_"Sweetie, why were you so curious about the culling in the first place?"_

_"Why were you so adamant to rat me out in front of a hundred people?" She shoots back._

_"I did it for your dad, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?"_

_The girl froze. She hadn't heard her mom talk about her father after that horrid day._

_"Did you even love dad?" Her mom opens her mouth, but the girl continues, "Because if you did you would've never snitched on him. You know very well that you did this with your stupid rationality versus having honor for your own family."_

_"You have no idea who you're talking to. You trusted Wells not to tell anyone and you know what he did? He told his dad and assumed that he wouldn't do anything about it and look where we are," She gestured to the room, "We're now here and you're **fatherless**."_

_" I'm only fatherless because of _ **_you._** _"_

_The girl doesn't let her mother interrupt._

_"I told Wells only a few hours before Jaha floated your so-called 'lover' into space." She mocks with quotation marks._

_The girl took a step closer. "If you really loved dad then you wouldn't have let him die and get floated. If you really loved and cared for him then you would've known that telling the Chancellor about his discoveries would've been a really stupid idea. You're on the council for the Ark's sake. You should've known better-"_

_Tears trickled down her face, forcing her to pause._

_Then, something clicked in her mind._

_"Oh wait, you were too afraid of your damn image on the council! If you let him expose the Ark you probably would've been demoted or kicked off, but you didn't want that cause you were a coward." She pressed her finger to her mother's chest. "You didn't love him at all. You just wanted to have me before passively neglecting him. Maybe that's why every time we had game night with the Jaha family you said that you were 'always busy'. But you were too occupied in trying to make sure that the Ark was in order through the guard-"_

_A hand smacked her face._

_The girl let out a choked wince before making eye contact with her mother again._

_Except she didn't look like her mother, she looked like a council member that is ready to sentence her to severe punishment._

_"Don't you ever talk to me like that again. Do you understand me? You don't ever say stuff like that to your own mother. I put you into this world and I can easily take you right out of it-"_

_"First of all, you decided to have me," She bravely counters, "Second of all, if you really want to float me, go ahead and do it."_

_The girl sniffles and wipes the tears away, not realizing that her bruised arm is in full display._

_Her mom grabs her wrist and starts to feel her decorated arm. "Clarke..." She fumbles with her decorated skin, "How recent are these bruises, and why did you do them?"_

_She ripped her arm out of her mother's reach._

_"You were the reason why I made those bruises.I'm ruined because of you." More tears started to slowly trickle down her cheeks. "I'm a fucking mess that cries every night because of you. **I hope you go float yourself because you just created a monster-"**_

_The same hand smacked her face again._

_The stinging sensation made her crack a weak smile. She at least feel something other than the overwhelming tides of grief that crashed into her mind every living second._

_"If you want to play that way, then we'll play that way. Like I said earlier, I am your mother. I blessed you into this world that you are about to visit pretty soon. Those bruises are on you, so stop blaming me for stuff you can't control! I didn't mean to have you born into this messed up place."_

_That was the girl's tipping point._

_"You caused this messed up place to brew into chaos. You could've prevented all of this injustice that you do to the citizens of the Ark. But you let them be oppressed because you were too afraid of a revolution occurring. I don't give a shit if I was an accident or not because I'm still here. Dad and I wanted to tell everyone the truth, and guess what?_ _You're not Abby Griffin._ **_You're not my mother_** _," The girl spat. " **Y**_ ** _ **ou'** re dead to me. I will never forgive you."_ **

_"You don't get to say stuff like that! Not now! Not ever!" Her mom turns to the door. "Guards!"_

_The guards outside came in and escorted her out._

_The iron doors shut before she had a chance to scream something back._

_The girl's chest heaves, building up with all of her anger._

_She thought that her mother would have some empathy for her. Anything that would give her hope._

_A_ _ll of her walls come crumbling down in mere seconds._

_More countless tears fell down her cheeks like twin rivers._

_The girl stumbled toward the window that she somehow had. She suppressed the urges, to break down, to punch the wall, to inflict harm._

_She stared at the Earth, wondering if she would be able to find the one that would help heal all of her wounds._

* * *

**Polis - 1 MONTH BEFORE THE DEVASTATION ON THE ARK**

"That is all we have for today, thank you very much for attending this summit. You can stay as long as you want in Polis before you head back home to your respected clans." 

The people trickled out of the throne room slowly.

The air felt relaxed as the faint voices were chatting about how good life was now that they made lots of progress toward true peace in their respective societies. Lexa for once, felt very hopeful about her life; She was engaged to Costia, Azgeda was at ease for once, the Ambassadors were quite pleased at her actions, and the natblida were doing quite well.

Life for once felt perfect. Everything was falling into place. The endless debates and disputes no longer were for nothing. The trade routes weren't being sabotaged, warriors and guards from other clans trained each other and sometimes even hosted friendly duels and competitions. Additionally, every month they held a festival in Polis after the Commander hosted the summits. Lexa made this to be tradition in order to help the twelve clans intermingle with one another and let off some steam. She helped divide politics and real life in order to help the ambassadors and herself relieve stress.

It was so great that even Titus, her strict teacher, had approved of this and gave no criticism to her at all. _For once._

 _The political tensions and conflicts were always lit up matches that she had to put out before erupting into the bonfires of war_. She was always busy being the commander, usually people saw the past ones as dictators who did whatever they wanted since the flame helped guide them to what they believed was the right choice. Sheidheda made sure that everyone knew who he was and how much power he has over his subjects.

But, Lexa wanted to be known as the guardian, the peacekeeper, the heroine that will make sure that the clans have a better future. However, after she became the commander, She barely had any time to be herself. Exhaustion used to embrace her into it's arms every night when she went to sleep. In the day she didn't have time to complain or do anything since Titus, Anya, Indra and all of Polis were all relying on her and demanding to always talk to her.

Now, she finally has time to catch up with old friends, and to find love like she has with Costia.

She was about to get up from her throne when a guard barged in.

"C-commander, you have a visitor. I tried to hold her off but she insisted that she wanted to meet you."

"Let her enter."

A girl around her age walked in with sort of tangled hair. Her outfit was a bit baggy but she looked very stoic. Lexa couldn't believe who she was meeting. It had been so long since they even interacted with one another; the years and years dragged on by.

"Luna? Is it really you?"

"Lexa. Yes, it's me. I've come all the way from my lands to see how you were doing."

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" She got up from her seat and approached the leader of Flokru. "It's been so long since we actually had a conversation with one another. I have so much to tell you now. Come, let's go to my quarters."

She walked in front of Luna and into the hallways of the tower. Any guards that they saw slightly nodded their heads in recognition of their commander and Luna. The curly haired girl noticed this and smiled. Usually, the guards would only bow to the commander but things must have changed.

" I've never been in the Commander's quarters. Surely I am invading your space." 

"No worries. You're one of my old friends and the leader of Flokru. You can come to Polis and chat with me anytime you like."

Lexa pushed the doors open and walked inside. Luna followed suit, but paused when she saw Lexa's balcony. She had never seen the capital from this high up. It looked so spectacular and stunning. Luna gazed in wonder like how she did when she first fled the conclave to the promising lands of the Boat People.

"Like what you see?" Lexa appears beside Luna with a humbling look, the sunlight reflects the red fabric that drapes gracefully down her armor. "I made sure that the spirits of the past commander's chose wisely with me. After the conclave, I knew I had to make lots of changes even if people disagreed with me. There were so many tough choices I had to make, and it wasn't all me. It seems like it, but I had Anya, Titus, and sometimes Indra whenever she visited me."

"Lexa...this is amazing. I don't even remember seeing Polis in such a beautiful state. The ambassador insisted that I came along with her since she kept telling me that things have changed under your command. You've done so much for all of us and I wish I could've been here earlier..." She bites her lip in regret before continuing, "I was just scared that you would come after me since I escaped...I-I didn't want to fight anymore. I was so tired and done with all the war, famine, and blood baths that could've been prevented."

She sighs, grateful to be letting go, "I've never seen our capital and our lands so peaceful before." 

"You are a pure soul Luna. I can totally understand why you didn't come to Polis for a few years after the conclave; it must've caused a lot of trauma and doubt. It is a horrible tradition to fight to the death, which is why I replaced it with a new system of examinations, duels, and lots of trails to see who is the best fit when I step down or die."

"The commanders at first came to give me long lectures in my dreams. I knew which commander was which depending on how well I slept; Sheidheda gave me lots of nightmares and always tried to kill me in my sleep. _It never worked._ I thought it was never going to end until it did." She broke eye contact and looked down at the ground. She cleared her throat and met Luna's eyes again. "I'm glad you have returned, Luna kom Flokru. I wish that one day that you could stay and become my advisor."

She offered her forearm. Luna reciprocated the exchange. "I would be glad to. I just need to go to the forests of Trikru in order to meet my biological family, then I will gladly come back to you in a month."

"I will inform Indra that you will be visiting our lands. You're a respected leader among us," She acknowledges, "even in your absence, your peaceful influence with your clan has inspired us all." Lexa smiled, "Now come with me I want you to meet my soon-to-be wife, Costia." 

"I've heard news from Anya whenever she visited the lands when you were busy attending to other duties." Luna moved back to stare at the view of Polis again, "I'm so happy for you guys. I've always wanted to meet her." 

"Costia kom Trikru will be glad to meet you two. Now let's go and see her before the festivities start."

\------

"Why don't you guys share quarters?" After more side discussion about their home clans they walked slowly across the hallways toward Costia's quarters. "I thought lovers slept in the same beds."

"I respect her privacy, and...sometimes we sleep together." Luna smirked at that statement and Lexa's cheeks flushed. "I-er mean in a normal way. A-anyways, she sometimes needs alone time and I give her space whenever she needs it. Plus, she-"

A thud from Costia's door interrupted whatever Lexa was saying. They both exchanged worried looks. 

"Is she okay?"

"It could be Azgeda or something."

"Good joke, but I don't think so."

"Lexa, you never know at this point."

"Luna I can enter first, I don't want you harmed." Before the other girl protested, Lexa grabbed her blade. The last thing she wanted was for anyone to try and kill Costia on their wedding day. She planned it for so long and didn't want anything to ruin it; her life was barely getting on track after the political issues she dealt with for years. With all of her might she kicked the door open. "Who dares attack my love before the festivities start-" Lexa suddenly freezes.

Costia's lips weren't on hers.

Costia's hands weren't buried in her hair.

Costia's body wasn't pressed against her own.

**She was pressed against someone else.**

Even worse...it was with an Azgeda spy. Lexa drops her blade, letting it hit the ground and ring through the air. Her soon-to-be wife notices the both of them and pries herself away from Echo.

 _Yes_ , she immediately recognized Azgeda's top spy since they dueled in battle before various amounts of times.

Lexa tried to hold onto something for support; her vision suddenly became a little fazed. Luna almost emits a growl and stands beside Lexa, grabbing her arm and rubbing it with her finger as an anchor to hold onto.

"What the..." Luna trails off. She tried to comprehend the shock that smacked Lexa's face, but couldn't truly understand what she's going through right now.

"What is the meaning of all of this!" Lexa shouts.

"I-c-can explain Lexa-" Costia stutters while wiping her lips. 

"What...did...you...do.."

"Lexa, please-" 

"Costia, what the hell is this?"

"I'm so sorry, C-commander. Costia didn't tell me that she was engaged to y-you." Echo's face became white with fear. "P-please forgive m-me I did-didn't know tha-that."

She steps backwards and almost trips on herself; her hands were up in the air to shield herself, afraid that Lexa might beat her to death in fury. 

"You are forgiven, Echo. Now let me talk with Costia in peace."

Her cold voice made Echo shiver. She quickly rushes past them and almost stumbles out the door.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" Luna asks.

Lexa turns to her and sighs. "Yes, I will."

Luna lets go of her arm and starts to walk out when Lexa grabs her arm. "Please, just stay outside. I might need someone to talk to after this."

Luna nods and walks out, leaving the two of them to deal with the aftermath.

The second Luna closes the doors, Lexa meets Costia's eyes.

Cold green stared into frightened brown. 

"How long?"

"What, Lexa."

"How long have you been seeing other people, and not me?"

"Lexa, I wanted to tell you that-"

"Costia. Stop avoiding my words."

"Lexa, I just need to say-" 

"Answer my question, Costia." Her lips quiver slightly, "P-please answer honestly." 

"Let me explain, please," Costia broke eye contact. **"I thought that this was all just a political marriage."**

"First off, a Trikru member marrying another Trikru member is _not_ political. The whole point of a political marriage is to intertwine two people of different parties to help form an alliance."

Lexa couldn't believe that Costia's excuse was that it was just a platonic bonding between the two of them. They slept together, kissed, and did very intimate things with one another.

_What if Costia was seeing other people to get herself entertained..._

_What if-_

No.

She shuddered at those thoughts. But after what she just witnessed, everything felt like a lie to her.

"Second of all, I thought what we had together was enough for you. There is nothing to explain more here, you cheated on me on the day that we were supposed to get married!" Her nostrils flared; her usual neutral gaze is wiped clean off her face.

She felt like Queen Nia herself shoved dirt into her mouth and smeared Ontari's nightblood onto her in front of all of Polis. Except, she didn't care if Azgeda or any other clan publicly shamed her at this point; the love of her life just betrayed her in ways she never thought could happen.

"I thought we had something, Costia. I thought we were going to be together forever, but you just used me for what?" 

"Lexa. I'm so sorry-"

"Tell me, Costia. Whenever you kissed me did you imagine it was someone else?" Lexa hoped that Costia wouldn't say what she thinks she will say.

She hoped that Costia...felt something for her. But she met all of Lexa's expectations and nodded her head, avoiding her eyes once again. "I'm sorry Lexa. I just-"

"You just betrayed me. By the sake of the commander's I'd rather fight a thousand soldiers with just my bare hands than see you loving someone else and not telling me!"

**"Did you even love me? Or did you use me in order to get higher status?"**

Costia grew up as a farmer's child in the forests when they first met. Before Lexa got found by Titus's scouts, she always managed to spend time with the girl that she soon fell in love with. When Lexa won the conclave she immediately invited Costia over and had her quarters prepared. After creating the summit-carnival tradition she wanted Costia to be by her side. Memories of the first festival they spent together entered her mind.

That was when they first kissed.

It was under the colorful lights that were dots in the night sky. 

By the second festival, they made love to each other under the moonlight of Lexa's quarters. Even though the whole world was asleep, they were wide awake in each other's arms. Lexa remembered every detail of that beautiful moment. Her soft plump lips, her loving eyes, her delicate hair, her toned arms from tilling the lands. Costia tasted exactly like she thought; the fruits and berries that the farmer girl always was around in the forests. Only a few hours passed by in the darkness together, but it felt like a few lifetimes that special night. 

She tried not to let the pain since the memories were now bittersweet. Whenever they fell asleep together, they were safe in each other's arms, hoping that one day they would be tied together in marriage...

...Now, her world started to crumble apart. In the small amount of spare time she had, Lexa always tried to picture and plan their future together. Traveling through the lands of the Glowing Forest Clan, conquering the Azgeda mountains, visiting old friends and acquaintances in their home clan.

Now...it all went down the gutter.

Her knees started to give in but Lexa fought hard to stand still. Her eyes slowly become glossy and showing her now ex-lover her true pain.

"Lexa, please. I'm sorry-"

"Tell me there's nothing between us and I'll leave. Stop apologizing and tell me the truth."

**"Lexa, I did love you."**

"When did you stop loving me?" 

She couldn't believe she is now asking Costia, the woman she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with, this particular question.

Love is weakness, love is weakness, love is weakness. Lexa's soft side was Costia.

Titus warned her and taught her this, but she thought it wouldn't be true.

She always told herself that it is a strong flaw, a beautifully unpleasant thing.

A double edged sword.

_"I stopped loving you the day after we made love."_

"You've been lying to me for three years now?"

Her fists clenched together. She stepped forward. "Costia, do you know what you did to me? _Do you know how crazy I was for you?_ The amount of intimacy we had together made me so happy, and..."

A tear trickled down her face, she didn't bother wiping it away. The damage had already been done. "...n-n-now you tell me? I feel so helpless now Costia. You changed me for the better over these years, and you faked it?"

"Lexa, that's not true. **I just didn't love you the way you loved me.** "

An imaginary fist smacked Lexa directly in the face, leaving her to wipe the blood of shame off of her quivering lips. 

The stinging sensation she mentally endured at that moment almost made her choke on her words. She opened and closed her mouth multiple times to try to speak, but nothing managed to fly out of her mouth.

"Wh...wha...wh..." She wanted to throw up, she wanted to scream to the heavens and to the commander's above, she wanted to feel every possible emotion but this overwhelming pain that left her speechless. She wanted to do anything to escape the treachery that her love did to her.

"Leave me alone." 

"Lexa, I really wanted to tell you for awhile now and-"

**"Get. Out."**

"Lexa, please I want to make it up to you."

"Get out!" Lexa raised her voice, "Get out before you break my heart again because I love you!"

Her voice boomed through Costia's bedroom, leaving a ringing sensation that hummed quietly in her ears for a little while.

Lexa's heavy breaths made her chest rise and fall at a steady pace.

Costia slowly walked out of her field of vision, leaving her alone in the chambers they always spent the quiet nights in.

It felt empty...too empty. Lexa walked toward Costia's bed and noticed that the furs were still ruffled -- from when Costia pinned her down a few nights ago, kissing her with passion and want. She picked up part of the furs and bathed her nose in her lover's scent.

More tears fell down onto the bed, reminding her of all the sweet times they had together. 

The times that Lexa didn't know that Costia didn't love her the same way.

The times that Costia most likely lied to her in order to make her feel better. 

It hurt so bad, and Lexa thought she would never recover from it. Until the day Anya stormed into her quarters and told her that Costia was dead. Lexa dropped everything at that point, only remembering her fazed vision guiding her to her balcony.  She stared at the sky, wondering if she would be able to find the one that would help heal all of her wounds. 

* * *

A few things happened after the war. First off, Luna returned a few days ago and to her surprise brought Niylah as well.Unfortunately, Luna had told her that she found no luck in finding her family in her month's journey and dropped it at that.

Second, Anya kept telling Lexa that she met her soulmate, but could only see them in her dreams. Lexa didn't know how that happened but just let the general panic and resolve her...er..well.."issue." Anya didn't see it as an issue, but Lexa sort of did since every morning Anya would wake up frustrated and confused, grumbling and muttering to herself and showing the whole world that she slept on the wrong side of the bed. 

* * *

"We're not so different after all. Are we? We're just two souls that got their hearts ripped out in some way." 

"You're right. We're the same in some ways."

"Isn't it crazy that you looked down on the Earth and I looked up to the sky searching for the one. And now we're here together."

"I didn't believe in fate until the day I met you."

The very faded shadow of the tree nearby touched their faces, telling them that soon the rising sun will start to slowly climb into the sky and remind the city of Polis that the morning is upon them. But that will happen in a couple of hours.

Currently, Clarke and Lexa were both lying down in the grass. Lexa decided that she wanted to take her to the greenery that she trained the natblida’s in so that they could see a different view of the capital. The blonde head is on the brunette's lap, looking up into Lexa's forests of eyes. 

It has been two weeks after they first kissed each other and shared an intimate moment that special night. They cuddled and embraced each other for every moment they could get. After all, now they have all the time in the world to be idiots, goofy, and somewhat 'normal' eighteen year olds. True peace is still new to Clarke; she is slowly healing from the semi-permanent wounds that her mom and the Ark had inflicted upon her. She still felt like she was carrying the burdens and mental scars of her haunted past. Of course Lexa suffered, but the commander knew that Clarke went through hell and back compared to her pain. 

"Clarke, you're special, you know that right?" The brunette started to trace imaginary lines on her jawline. The blonde closed her eyes and hummed in response, her lips started to curve into a small smile. "You're the one that burned my heart alive." Clarke opened her eyes and snorted at the joke. The last time Lexa said something like that, Clarke was tied up and Lexa was very skeptical of her. 

"You're the one that sent them there to kill me."

"What did I send to kill you? You're still alive.”

Clarke chuckled. "No silly, I meant that you sent your feelings to kill me."

Lexa's cheeks suddenly turned a hot red. She continued to stare deep into the ocean blue. She imagined the gentle tides washing over the sands, making everything it touched moist. Clarke is like the ocean waves; at shore, it is very calm and caring while in the deep waters it is so scary yet so wonderful.

"Clarke, you're so interesting you know that right?" Clarke gazed up at Lexa with wonder. "I've dealt with various amounts of subjects and people of all walks and yet you're..." Lexa trailed off.

This is what love sometimes does to people, when they look at their significant other and try to describe how they feel, they sometimes talk about them nonstop or say absolutely nothing at all.

With the blonde, it is a mix of both.

"...you're just so...you're just you." 

Clarke shifted up from her original seating position to face Lexa. They were sitting face to face with each other. "Lexa, you're so cute when you stumble with your words."

"I-I am?" Lexa's lips had a ghost of a smile. "T-thanks. I guess that's what love does you after all, doesn't it."

"Come here, love." Clarke grabbed Lexa's nape and pulled her in for a kiss. Lexa tasted like the woodlands that she remembered being stranded in before they met. Her hands crept up Lexa's arms and lighlty squeezed her toned forearms, emitting a small groan from the commander. The blonde tilted her face so that she could have more of Lexa's lips. She liked this feeling that tingled in her stomach whenever she kissed her lover. She could easily get lost in the forests of Lexa; trekking through the wilderness of her mind and exploring all around. Seeing the small rivers of water that she wanted to taste and touch, feeling the overwhelming waterfalls that consisted of her emotions spilling onto her skin, and touching the roughness of the dark bark that constituted the trees. She dived into the lakes that were Lexa, the exploration of her mind never failed to make her content. Somehow, every time they kissed each other, Clarke always felt herself navigating the wilderness of Lexa's mind. 

Lexa shifted so that Clarke lied on the ground and pressed their lips together again. The scent of the grass that intermingled with the blonde made Lexa almost internally shut down. The commander knew that Clarke would be the end of her. They weren't in a hurry, they weren't trying to rush things, they weren't only wanting each other physically. No proper words could make up the love they shared for each other. Clarke is the first to break the kiss, her pupils dilated and her cheeks flushed. The blonde's hands slowly started to take off the braids in Lexa's hair. They both stared at each other, trying to read each other's thought and failing for the thousandth time. The closeness they were sharing made the two of them in a trance. When Clarke's fingers started to dig into the loose brown hair, Lexa grinned. 

"What is it?" 

"You're so cute when you do that."

"Do what?"

"When you slowly undo my braids." Lexa's finger started to trace Clarke's bottom lip. "When you pull me close." She traced her jawline with her thumb. "When you embrace me into your arms." She moved her hand up to brush a hair away from Clarke's ear. "When you saved me from being a shadow in the dark." When she made eye contact, the brunette froze. When you do anything, I'm so content with you. She wanted to say that, but nothing came out from her mouth. Clarke took this time to tug Lexa in toward her. Lexa shuddered when Clarke started to feel her forearms once again. She almost groaned into her mouth when Clarke pulled them closer to each other. When her tongue entered the commander's mouth, her mind almost collapsed. The blonde's arms started to feel Lexa's arm and shoulder muscles, trying to memorize her tanned skin, trying her best to worship her in every way that she could. 

They made out until the morning sun greeted the sky.

They were content and happy in each other's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Clarke’s past in the final draft will be a little less traumatic.  
> 2\. Clexa is so, so cute in this story. (But so cheesy oh my god)
> 
> Echo and Costia's backstory will be further explained in full detail (plot wise)


	14. Keryon's Calling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the peacemaker of the sea embarks on a journey that has a butterfly effect.
> 
> The general meets a strange spirit in her dreams, and Clarke confronts someone she thought she wouldn't see for awhile.
> 
> (Lot's of past and present changes.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Old notes: 2,000+ hits hooray!)
> 
> So much plot...like oh my god. 
> 
> You really thought the story ended when they defeated Azgeda in the war? Try again. Time to put the petal to the metal. Buckle up and grab some popcorn, we have more POV's now!
> 
> Flashbacks, Flashbacks, and more blasts to the past! We will explore more of the grounder's lives before and during the crash of the Ark.

_I heard stories of how things were before I arrived._

_Never thought I'd be entangled in a complicated web of trust issues and tension._

_Seems like I can never escape the clutches of it anyways._

* * *

**3 DAYS BEFORE LUNA'S RETURN**

"Stupid gonas, always trying to get on my nerves!" The dirty blonde haired girl slammed her doors shut. Like always, she just came back from training warriors how to do things other than kill each other. Now that they weren't at war with each other, the commander and the ambassadors made sure that the warriors were able to do other important tasks such as sowing, chopping wood, hunting, and much more. As always, most weren't complicit and she had to use her authority in order to make them do the actual work. 

Slowly but surely she unbuckled her straps and took off her amour, leaving her in some comfortable clothes. She got ready for bed, undoing her braids and thinking about the nicest ways to tell the commander and Wanheda that she wanted to kick her trainees off of the balcony in the throne room. When she sank into the furs, it didn't take long for her to slip into the arms of sleep....

".....hey!"

"I was.....wonder-oof...."

"........woah there...."

"City.....of....."

"....hello......."

"Hey...hello?." 

"...where...are...you...?"

_What is that voice?_ She opened her eyes to see that she is in a dark hallway. _Wh_ _ere am I...?_ She looked up and down, noticing that she was on some kind of veichle or machine. When she walked forward to one of the marking on the walls it says: **CORRIDER 32029 ARK STATION.** _Keryon, how did I get here? Clarke told me about this place before...but how did I get here? Am I dreaming?_ She took a step backwards to be center. _I need to find a way out of here before-_

"There you are! I've been looking all over for you Abby Griffin-" The blonde flinched when a hand touched her shoulder. She spun around to see a girl wearing a red jacket and combat boots.

"Gah!" The girl stumbled backwards, her eyes went wide. "You aren't Abby! I'm s-sorry," She put her hands up in surrender. "I m-must've entered the wrong dream portal. My bad."

"Dream portal? What?" 

The brunette nods her head. "Yeah, when us dead people go to sleep we are able to enter each other's dreams in order to see their life before they died and-" She continues to mutter to herself with a frown. Suddenly she stops mumbling and pauses. "Wait, you should know how it works by now, and only dead people would know this..." As if it all clicked together, she gasps. Her jaw suddenly drops. "You're not dead?!"

The blonde shakes her head. "No, I fell asleep."

The brunette steps a little closer and narrows her eyes. "Who are you?"

"I should be asking you this first." The dirty blonde shoots back.

"I asked first."

"..." 

"Well, since you don't know me I'm _the_ Raven Reyes," Raven tugs at her jacket, "The youngest Zero-G mechanic on the Ark in over 52 years. I guess you can say that I'm kind of a big deal." She clicks her tongue and holds her head high. The general pretends to not be phased by this, but internally she is impressed by the mechanic. 

"I am Anya _kom Trikru,_ " Anya replies. "I've heard of the Ark through Clarke _kom Skaikru_. She has helped aid us toward true peace in various amounts of ways." 

Raven gasps again. "Wait...Clarke is alive?"

After her death, Raven tried to search in the dream portals of other deceased people for any signs that indicated that Clarke could be alive, but found nothing while doing so. She hoped that by finding her friend's mother, she would be able to figure out anything of the blonde's past. She knew that it would take long since she is a fresh addition to the dead, and that once she found her friend's mind space, she would be coursing through the chaotic rivers of Clarke's traumas. But Anya's news made her so thrilled. 

Her fingers start to tremble. "S-she's alive?...h-how? You need to tell me everything you blondie!"

"I don't know if we have time..." Anya trails, but glances into the brunette's eyes. _Wait..._ _Was she her friend? Her lover? Her enemy? Who is Raven and what is she doing in my mind? I need to figure out this girl before I wake up!_

"Did she mean anything to you?" 

"Clarke and I tried to escape the Ark Station when it got hijacked by an A.I." 

Raven notices Anya's visible confusion. "A.I. means Artificial Intelligence: it was a robot or machine of some kind. It took over everyone's minds through inserting a chip into their mouths. When we both discovered that we were being hunted, we tried our best to escape. I managed to set up the escape pod but that was when everything went south..." She shut her eyes for a second, wincing at the horrible moments before her death.

"...Marcus Kane, someone who trained the guards managed to find us in hiding with our pod. He was infected, but Clarke managed to fight him off and knock him out. When we were celebrating in our victory...she didn't know that he was waking up and..." She pointed to her heart, "That was when he shot me." 

Even as someone who didn't like to be in contact with other human beings, Anya fought the urge to embrace the mechanic. "I'm so sorry... _Reivon kom Skaikru_. You didn't deserve to die like this," She walked closer to Raven and tilted her chin with her fingers. "You deserved so much better. Now that you tell me you aided _Klark_ , I actually wanted to meet you here on Earth. You seem like a brave and amazing soul." 

"It's not a big deal," Raven's eyes start to water up. She shut her eyes and hummed for a bit when Anya gently caressed her cheek. "It's okay," She slowly takes Anya's hand away. "My spirit still lives on. And-" 

"About Clarke, she is still alive," Anya answers her question from earlier. "She is currently in a relationship with _Leksa_ _kom Trikru_ , the Commander of the Thirteen Clans-"

"Damn Clarke scored big time!" Raven interrupts happily, but notices Anya's frown. "Oh sorry, I'm just happy for my friend. You should be too!" 

Anya rolls her eyes but continues. "She is loved by her dearly, and I didn't even expect my friend to fall for your friend. But enough about her, tell me Raven: How did you manage to enter my dreams when you could only go through dreams of the dead?"

"I...uh...well," Raven scratched the top of her head with her finger, trying to figure that out for herself as well. "I don't remember. When I was awake, I decided to take a stroll in the City of Light and I found the area where the kill switch was...and," She started to pace around. "....then I...Oh!" She snapped her fingers, "I saw an area with a safe in it, and I went inside to find that there was a lab that had a view of the Earth. Then I went to the window and said 'Take me to Clarke.' And now I'm here," She gestured between the two of them. "Now I can finally communicate with the living! I can't wait to tell Sinclair about this. He'll be so stoked as well now that I found a soulmate!"

"...Uhm...what..." 

"Do you know what a soulmate is?"

"...Uhhh."

"Because you know, I'm now just a soul living in the heavens and you're my mate, my buddy, my good friend!" She grins from ear to ear. She hoped that Anya would respond, but...

A long pause is followed after. Raven sighs. "You don't get it, do you?"

Anya bites her lips and frowns. "No."

"Eh, it doesn't matter," She shrugs, "It's just a joke. Anyways, I've been having visions for the past few days whenever I fall asleep, so I probably mistake you for someone else."

"Fall asleep?" Anya questions, "The dead don't sleep."

"Yes we do, it's a perk while living as a spirit," Raven yawns, "And you know, I sometimes want to lie horizontal and kick my feet up once in awhile anyways." Raven lied in that statement, she hasn't slept in the afterlife since she was too busy trying to see if Clarke made it to the ground, and also messed with the dead council members mind-spaces as payback.

"How much time do I have before I wake up?" 

"Uhm," Raven checks her invisible watch on her arm. "A few minutes, I think?"

"Think? You don't know?"

"Sorry if I don't have an imaginary timer at my disposal," Raven crosses her arms. "But now I am one of the lucky ones that can travel among the mind-spaces of the living thanks to the flame."

"The flame?" Anya's eyes widen. "How do you even know about the flame? You're just a sky girl."

"Dude, chillax. I hangout with the other warriors and people that have died in the afterlife," Raven chuckles, "I'm not just hiding all the time. Anyways, the flame contains the spirits of your so-called commanders. It breached the heavens and is now an access portal down to Earth. That is how I got to the City of Light anyways-"

An alarm suddenly blares. Flashes of red start to flicker in the hallway. Anya clutches onto Raven, who is surprised at the contact. "What does that mean?" Anya asks, "What is going on?" Ravens moves them so that they are face to face. "Anya, you only have 30 seconds left before your consciousness awakens. The alarms function as a warning system so that-"

Anya's knees give in and almost knocks down Raven with her weight. _What's happening? Why am I so weak?_. "Gah!" Raven stumbles and Anya drops to the ground "Sorry!" She says from above, "I didn't m-mean to lose balance," _Is Raven trying to attack me?_ "The alarms signify that you're going to be awake soon." Raven crouches down by her side. Anya's eyelids start to become heavy as she fights to stay awake. "You're going to wake up soon," Raven repeats herself. "But don't fight it. I need to find Clarke, tell me where she is-"

"She's..." Anya heaves. "She's...near...my...quarters,"

Her chest rises and falls quickly. _Why do I feel so weak? I can't stop whatever this is! Help me!_

"Anya, you can't fight it, you're going to wake up," She grabs Anya's hand, and Anya starts to calm down. "If you keep resisting, you're going to disrupt your sleep cycle." Her breath becomes even and her chest rises and falls at a less frantic pace. "Trust me on this one, I'm your new friend." Anya tilts her head and makes eye contact with her baggy eyes. 

"A...new friend....I like that..." Anya croaks, "....stranger...please....I'm...slipping...away...." Raven squeezes her hand.

"I know," The brunette smiles back. "May we meet again, blondie."

And with that, Anya allows herself to drift back into consciousness, slowly disappearing into thing air. 

Leaving the mechanic alone in the hallway. 

* * *

**Outside Polis - 4 WEEKS BEFORE THE DEVASTATION ON THE ARK**

"Are you sure you just want to go into the lands blindly to find your parents?" 

"Blindly?"

"Yes blindly, as the ambassador of our people I'm wise enough to know that this is stupid."

"Excuse me?"

"I can't let you do this."

"I know what I'm doing," Luna rolled her eyes, "I know exactly where to go and which villages I should visit. In someway or another, it's my first vacation." As much as she liked talking to her ambassador, Amba got on her nerves sometimes. The wind bristled slightly in their faces, reminding them that they weren't at Polis anymore. They were by the shore, waiting for their people to come with boats to escort them back to Flokru. Luna decided that she wanted to pursue her mission, she wanted to go solo this time. However, her white haired friend completely opposed this.

"You should stay in Polis with _Heda_ , she will gladly take you in. She has great hospitality and is going to treat you well. Lexa _kom Trikru_ is someone that you should now trust, considering that she offered for you to even become your advisor. Don't go foolishly back into the different lands of the clans in order to find them. You won't get very far."

"Amba, I know what I'm getting myself in to." 

"Go to Polis. I highly urge to take _Heda's_ offer." 

If she had a weapon for each time she brought up the offer whenever they chatted, she would be able to supply an entire army and their parents. "I need you to trust me on this. I was also joking about the vacation part. I just really, really, want to try to find them." 

"Luna, as much as I would like to believe you, your parents will most likely not be around. They could've been captured by the _Maunon_ , killed in the wild, stolen and kidnapped by the Azgeda and Sangeda warriors. If they were alive then they would've made their way back to our lands." 

"Amba. Please, just let me try. I still have hope here," She grabbed the ambassador's hand and placed it toward her heart. "I still believe that they still want to come back to the shores." Luna studied Amba's face, trying to see if the white haired woman shows any signs of faith. 

But her green eyes still glinted with a hint of sadness reflecting back at her. 

"Luna. They don't want to come back. Ever since the scouts found you, they wanted nothing to do with you. When Lexa kom Trikru became commander, they thought that you were dead until they heard about you fleeing the conclave. After that they..."

Amba paused, she gently took her hand off of Luna and looked down. "...they just..."

"What," Luna frowned. "Is there something that you're hiding from me." 

"I..I..I k-know where they last went."

How could her ambassador, the person who helps represent her ideals and her clan's motives do such a terrible thing to her. How could she have known where her family went and not tell her. The time spent after the conclave she busied herself and tried not to think of them too much. Her family meant the whole world to her before she was snatched away from them. Every breathing second she spent as a child was with her parents. They bonded over the smallest things, they were a unit that is meant to stick together. In the old world, they called it a nuclear family; a couple and their dependent children, regarded as a basic social unit. 

"But beja Luna, Nou get yu daun-" (But please Luna, stop worrying-)

"Daun ste pleni!" Luna barked. 

Amba took a step backwards and put her hands up. "Luna..." Amba wanted to object against Luna's anger, but saw that she wasn't backing down. Luna growled and curled her fists. _How could she do such a treacherous act?_ She'd rather have Lexa come up to her and punch her in the face multiple times than be in this moment. _Why am I so furious? I need to reassess this. I can't be mad. I need to calm down._ She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths.

_Peace is the better option, let the shores guide me from the temptations of my anger._

_Peace is the true choice, let the people of the sea guide me from the terrors of the world._

_Peace is inevitable when you put your mind to it._

_May the Boat People cleanse me from my temptations of rage._

She repeated that mantra in her head over and over again. She knows every time they get into talks like this that Amba means well...or that's what she thinks she knows about her friend. 

"Luna, emo raun Trikru." (They are in Trikru)

Luna steps forward. Her anger starts to boil deep down in her veins. "You hid this from me...all these years now?" She grits her teeth, "How could you do this...to me!" She points to herself, "How could you hide this secret and bear it for years without telling me?"

The wind roars. The trees in the distance start to dance with the strong breeze. Small drops of water touches her cheeks indicating a storm from the heavens above. "Even the _keryons_ above can sense my anger of your betrayal!" (spirits).

A distant noise of rumbling could be heard in the grey sky. 

"Luna, you need to calm down-"

"Calm down? Are you serious right now? We're having this conversation and all you care about is how peaceful I should be?" Luna shakes her head, "You sound so ridiculous right now, you that right?" 

"Luna, I only did this to keep you on track." _On track? S_ he wasn't a little child that needed to be protected. She is the leader of the Boat People for the commanders' sake, she is used to the hurt and pain from being a night blood. She was used like a lab rat while preparing for the conclave. 

Luna takes another step forward, " **Yu laik krei foto gon disha.** " (You're so evil for this.)

The rumbling sound came closer. The gentle sprinkling of water from above turned into a torrential downpour.

The betrayal of Amba to Luna almost seemed intolerable with the howling fast wind and the anger from the heavens. "Tell me where they are, or else I'll never return back to my people."

"You don't mean that, do you?"

"In the years that I spent with you I was healing from the wounds, the sea contributed to my recovery and mourning of them. They meant the whole world to me. This also isn't just about me, you know that right? They were the past leaders of Flokru and they didn't this. Our whole clan was in shambles after they heard the news of their so called 'death'. If I didn't want to take over, then our clan would've turned into ruins!"

Luna's chin started to tremble. She shut her eyes but let the tears fall down her flushed cheeks. "Do you even know how much of a burden I felt when I was ripped away from my family? I thought that they were dead, but they were alive the whole time and you didn't TELL ME!" 

"I was trying to protect you! If you were in my shoes than you would've done the same."

"No, I wouldn't have. Stop trying to say it was about your honor, because why defend something you no longer have?" 

Amba wanted to speak, to say something. But Luna is right, she should've told her earlier. But if she did then everything would've changed. She would've gone insane to try to get their old leaders back, She would've became a warrior or something along the lines of that; history would've been rewritten in one way or another, no matter how large or small the impact was. Amba knew this, but didn't want to tell Luna, since she knew one way or another. She let Luna let out all of her emotions onto her, let herself get hurt. "You're right, leader. I know you won't ever forgive me for my actions. They are in the lands of Trikru. Safe passage on your travels." She offered her forearm.

Luna made eye contact with her, seeing her face full of regret and took it.

"Kom woda 'so gyon op, gon woda 'so kom daun. Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim." (From water we are born, to water we return. May we meet again.)

* * *

**2 DAYS BEFORE LUNA'S RETURN**

"....clarke...."

".....hello...."

"hey.....hello..."

"...........city...of...light..."

".....flame sent...me...."

"........space...outer..space..."

"......where is...my...."

"......tell...me...where...she..is.."

When she opened her eyes, she was on top of a skyscraper. A violent gust of wind made her squint her eyes; it rattled the nearby rooftops, agitating the glass and bending it slightly. The clouds above rumbled in response to the chaotic breeze. She whipped her head around, wondering where she was, trying to decipher if this is real life or an illusion seeping in her mind. 

"Hello?"

A voice called from behind, "You're here. It's really you! I've been searching for you for so long. Oh how I missed you so much-" When Clarke turned around, her throat went dry. Clarke grits her teeth together, pressing them to the point where it becomes painful. 

"W-w-why am I here!" Her voice quivers. She waves a finger and points at her mother. "More importantly, Why are **you** here?" Seeing her mother in person again came as a complete shock. She thought that she would never see her again, granted that she would be in heaven and her mother would be in hell. But here, she guesses that there is no heaven or hell after all, only a place in between where the souls reunite with their lost loved ones. 

"I can visit you now in my dreams, and I can see your past thoughts and feelings," Her mother comes close to her and gently touches the side of her cheek with her hand, almost showing her joy with seeing her own daughter again. "You were so damaged and broken, I'm in shock how you could move on from blowing up most of our temporary home." Her smile slowly fades away when Clarke's burning gaze meets her own. 

"You don't have any right to use that against me, I did what had to be done." Inwardly, Clarke is seething at her mother's words. _She's dead and still manages to always hit a nerve with me._ She swats her mother's hand away. "I couldn't save Raven from a peaceful death, so I gave our people one." 

Clarke's eyes seemed to bore holes into her soul, reading her every emotion and intention. Abby breaks eye contact. "To answer your question from earlier, I am here thanks to the flame. It caused a big loophole in the City of Light so now we can easily visit people even when they are awake." Clarke almost flinches when her mother grabs her hands and massages them with her fingers. 

"But Clarke, **I didn't even know that you could love someone more than me."**

The noises of the storm slowly started to become an echo bouncing in her ears. Her mouth slowly started to open and her fingers started to twitch uncontrollably. She couldn't...believe that her mother would try to redirect everything back to herself. Always trying to use anything that she could find in order to try and be right. Clarke inherited her stubborn nature from her mother, but couldn't stand it when it was used against herself. And now, of all the times that she could try to turn the conversation about their mother-daughter relationship, she compared it to the love she has for Lexa? The thought irritated her like a mosquito bite; giving her a primal urge to scratch it until it bled. 

She lets go of her hands and comes even closer to her mother. Her warm breath came in contact with her mother's skin. "Oh do you know when I could've been loved?" She puts her finger into her mother's chest. "When you betrayed me and turned me in to the guards, leaving me to rot in my prison cell for thirty five grueling days!" Her voice pours out all of her built up anger at the last statement.

Abby winces in response at the harsh statement. Her eyes quickly dart between her daugher's ocean ones, searching for words to try to redeem herself."I-I-I...visited you in the cell Clarke. I-I tried m-my best to be a mother and a council member keeping things in order. You know that it was-" 

"-For our people." Clarke completes the sentence with a mocking grin plastered on her face. "It's always about our people isn't it." She chuckles in a deeper tone. "You're just using them as an excuse to why I'm so damaged!" She points her shaking fingers to herself. "You're the reason that I am this way, and you never even apologized." _Every time I look into my mother's eyes, it's so hard to see that she is human. That she has a heart like I do....even Anya is more caring and that girl is very stone faced._

"You're angry, Clarke. It's easier to hate me than to hate yourself." 

"How dare you say that sentence. You don't get to use Lexa's words against me!" Her temper sparked like a firework going off. "Mocking your own daughter won't get you any brownie points. So much for a reunion. And plus, like I said to Lexa all those months ago: I can do both." Resisting the urges to stomp her foot, she let out a huff of air and turned to walk away. 

"You could've faced a bigger punishment, and I just wanted to protect you." Clarke stops walking when her mother speaks again. "You know that I had to do what was right. You were going to put us all in danger, and I didn't want to see the guards open fire on you. They have eyes everywhere and would've easily found out that you were in charge." She noticed her mother's defeated tone. Abby is right, regardless if they were lenient or not just because she was a council member's daughter, she could've been in severe danger with the guard. Her mother **did** protect her in a certain way; giving her a chance to live by turning her in rather than face her demise in a more brutal way. _But it didn't seem to fully click in place. Why couldn't she just say so earlier?_

She spun around with glassy eyes. "Well if you c-cared for me, then why didn't you j-just say so!" _Why did she put me through all that trouble when she could've just communicated more easily with me_. It would've saved so much hardship, so much misery, so much mental fatigue that she fought in the days that she spent in the cellar. Hot tears started to dampen her cheeks, her face flushed red; the rush of mixed feelings became too much for her. She bit her trembling lips and shivered. Clarke felt every grudge she ever had against her mother pour itself out through her sobs. Every tender moment they shared together started to replay in her mind; when they talked about nothing, when they watched shows together from the old world...when she tried talking to her mother after Jake died, when she tried to confide with her, when she tried to be the good guy, only to think that she was the bad one when she was locked up. The memories were very bittersweet like a thorn; beautiful to see in the moment, yet so hurtful to the touch. 

"Honey, I was busy all the time. You knew that-"

**"You..made it so HARD for me TO LOVE YOU."**

"The council turned you into a complete stranger in my eyes." She looked away, fearing that it would become too overwhelming for her to even talk. "You weren't my mother, you weren't Abigail. You were council member Griffin, willing to do whatever it takes to keep the Ark Station safe, even if it means opening fire on protesters who were against cutting funds toward going back to Earth." Before her mother could respond she put a hand up. "Yes, I knew what happened that night. I'm not stupid." 

"I don't know how to respond. I never meant to do any of this to you." Clarke realized that her mother was human when she started to shed tears of her own. "I take back all of my words that I ever said to you." Abby croaks. "I'm such a monster, and I started to cry when you went berserk on those warriors-" Her mother continued to sob. Clarke noticed her slip up and frowned. _If she knows about Wanheda...then what else does she know about me?_

"How much of my memories did you go through?" 

Abby rubs her arm across her face to wipe away more tears that streamed down her face. "I know enough to know that you almost tried to take your own life...." She dipped her head. "If Lexa wasn't there to be your puppy guard then you would've been here with me a lot faster."

Clarke's chest starts to rise and fall at a quicker pace; the fury built up inside of her roared through her mind and boiled her insides. Clarke clenched her fists and tried her best to suppress the sudden rage that gripped her. _She thinks she can use Lexa against me without getting away with it? Oh she will pay big time for this. Why does she always keep getting on my goddamn nerves!_

"Why do you keep trying to hurt me in all these possible ways!" She shouts with a venomous tone. "What enjoyment do you get out of emotionally exhausting your own daughter?! Stop trying to hurt me, I am not your oppressor like the guards and the Ark. It's getting all into your head at this point. You may be heartless, mom but you're smarter than this!" Clarke resists her instincts to smack her mother across the face in order to show a fraction of the anger she's facing. Instead she, digs her nails into her skin and clenches her jaw.

"Are you jealous of me? That I had a chance to go back to Earth and you didn't-"

"I'm sorry, okay! I'm sorry!"

Her mother's voice rang through the stormy atmosphere. "Clarke, I'm sorry for tearing you apart, I'm sorry for your father, I'm sorry for being so stubborn. I'm sorry for trying to attempt to do what's right. I just lost myself...and now I have to pay the price for it." _Pay the price? Does my mother not live in this city in the heavens?_

"Where do you even live anyways?" 

"In some dark forests, sleeping in uncomfortable beds. I experience flashbacks sometimes where I am a citizen on the Ark, protesting for a good cause. Then, I get killed in different ways, depending on which person I am. I get tortured, shot, tazed to death, it's what I get for being an oppressor to our people. I am to experience about 1,098 more deaths before I can wander in the City of Light. It's the punishment for those who did wrong deeds." 

"I mean...I guess its the heaven's version of justice." 

"Yeah. I deserve it anyways, I'm such a bad person." The Empathetic Persuasion Method, that's what it was. An exercise taught to Abby by the council in order to help persuade regular citizens to hear them out and obey their laws via degrading and putting themselves down. The practices must be so deeply embedded in her mind that it slips out unintentionally. Clarke knew better than to comfort her mother, it was her way of being passive aggressive in order to taunt Clarke into feeling bad for her.

"You will be forgiven when I am fully healed from my past." Clarke responds crossing her arms.

Abby puts out her hand, "It's a deal-"

"And you know that will take years for that to happen. So don't expect forgiveness to crawl right into your hands." Clarke takes a long glance at Abby's hand, but shakes her head. "Don't even try to make amends so soon." She starts walking backwards to the tip of the rooftop. "May we meet again." She raises her arms to the sky and closes her eyes, waiting for her consciousness to take her back to reality.

* * *

"Clarke..."

"You're groaning."

"Clarke....my love?"

"Please, wake up!" 

"Clarke!" 

Clarke sits up and gasps, her breath starts to shake. When she sees Lexa next to her with a face fully of worry, she grabs both of her hands and starts to slightly tremble. "I...I saw m-my mother and..." Lexa pulls her in for a hug. "...I fought with her in my dreams. She visited me and she told me why she locked me up. She told me that she didn't want me to die, but why didn't she tell me this earlier...I just-"

"Shhh...." Clarke felt Lexa's calloused hands rubbing circles along her back, tracing imaginary patterns in order to try to calm her partner down. "It's okay my love. Seeing a spirit you don't want to encounter is harsh. But now you're here with me. Everything will be okay." Lexa starts to whisper sweet nothings, calming Clarke down and eventually pulling her to sleep.

* * *

**The Trading Post - 3 WEEKS AND 5 DAYS BEFORE THE DEVASTATION ON THE ARK**

The last thing she wanted to do is to end up acting like a lost child in the woods, and she fell right into that. Only 2 days passed, and Luna found herself stumbling and trying to find any sort of building or landmark to help her navigate the woodlands. _I need to get to_ _Tondc_. _I need to get to Tondc._ She needed to get there in order to get some sort of map and ask around for her parents. She put her hand on a random tree trunk and looked up to the sky. _Keryon, please help me find other humans. Anything...anything please._

Suddenly, as if the heavens above had answered her prayer, a clutter of some sort is heard in the distance. _Thank you, commanders._

* * *

Nothing really happened, business is usual. Everything seemed fine for the girl. Running the trading post for her seemed a little exciting, but chill at the same time. Customers and people of all walks of life came into her doors asking for food, giving her things of all kinds in return. The _kongeda_ helped her business be stable; since the Azgedans and other people from different clans walked in without trying to kill her. The merchant girl would always be ecstatic while receiving these foreign items, but only showed it while giving her buyers her gratitude. As a hunter and a merchant, she has the best of both worlds; hunting down and collecting animals in exchange for an unpredictable reward. 

After her mother was taken by the mountain, she felt like her life became a derailed train; speeding without a guide into the horizon of unknown possibilties. Her father helped her in her grief by busying her with his business. Now that he got captured by the _Maunon_ , she knew how to look after herself. 

A hand slammed on the table, bunching up something that she couldn't quite make out over the fingers shielding it from her sight. 

"Moun diyo kom dina, beja." (Another thing of food, please)

When she looked up, she saw a curly haired girl with a face she thought she recognized somewhere. _I thought I saw her when Amba kom Floudonkru visited our lands a few months ago._

_Who...is...she?_

"Chon yu bilaik...?" (Who are you)

The girl across from her curled her lips into a grin. "You don't know who I am, merchant girl?" She leaned forward, "And I thought you were Niylah, the girl that's going to give me food for my item." She moved her hand, revealing something that made Niylah let out a gasp of disbelief. The metal object could only be found the secret chambers of the oil rigs. Legends say that they were used to tell time in the old world, keeping humans in check while doing their daily things. They called it a watch. 

She slowly touched the watch, examining it's features. "N..no way. Impossible." 

"This item is very valuable." Luna adds, "Andpeople would die to obtain this treasure. I hope you have enough food for **us both.** "

Niylah moves her gaze from the watch to Luna, noticing the mysterious look in her brown eyes. _What is this girl doing...Why does she want to eat...with me?_ "Can you please tell me who you are, because I have a feeling you want more than just food."

Luna raised her brow in response. "I am Luna _kom Flokru_." 

"No way...impossible. I thought you were dead after fleeing the conclave." 

"I'm still here. And you're right, Niylah _kom Trikru,_ " She looks around to see if anyone else is present, then turns back to her. "I'm not here just for food, I'm here to talk with you." 

* * *

The merchant-hunter and the peacemaker finished fixing up some beef and roasted vegetables for their dinner. It was all Niylah could scrap up at the moment for the worth of Luna's so called watch. For it's value, she owed Luna a few dinners and offered for her to stay for as long as she wanted, granted that she wouldn't runaway with all of her caught meat the next morning. The trader still didn't get why the leader of the Boat People decided to suddenly stop by. She wanted to know more about the peacemaker 

"Why are you here, talking to a merchant girl like me?" Niylah sits down, gesturing for Luna to sit as well. "What's your story, Luna?"

"Well, I'm searching for some very important people. I have been on a quest." She takes a bite of some carrots, "And you must not tell anyone this, but..." Her voice lowers and she locks eyes with Niylah. "It's supposed to be a search mission from Amba _kom Flokru_ , but I am here to find my parents. They are the past leaders of Flokru, and the ones who helped find and lock away some very dangerous weapons. They are known as machine guns." 

A long time ago before Luna got snatched from her childhood, her parents, Amba, and some guards found some guns in the lower levels of the oil rig they lived in. The news suddenly spread like wildfire and caused everyone to panic. In order to suppress the disorder, they decided to stash the guns away for good, instead of using them against their people. (A/N: Unlike the Ark) 

"M-m-machine guns?" Niylah stammers, "No way. They are said to be weapons from the sky in the old world." 

"Yes, they are the weapons from the sky." Luna confirms, "But there's a problem. I can't find them, and I knew that someone like you could help me." She takes another bite of her food, waiting for Niylah to respond. Niylah runs a hand through her hair, wondering how this all tied up. _Why does she want me to help? Does she not trust anyone from the other clans? Does she only trust Trikru?_

"Help you? But why?" 

"Yes. I've heard good things about you from Amba, my ambassador. She is a good friend of the Trikru ambassador and they have both discussed and had various amounts of good negotiations and treaties. Both of our clans always back each other up, so needless to say I have good connections. That is why I am trusting you to help me." Luna continues to eat her food, leaving Niylah pondering. _What is she not telling me? Do I have to go into the Mountain like my parents? Why me?_

"Can't you just ask my ambassador, or Indra for help?" 

Luna pushes her plate away and leans forward. "I trust you, Niylah. So trust me. I know how hard it is for you now that you run this trading post by yourself." Niylah clenches her fist and fights the urge to smack down the peacemaker. "And I also know that deep down inside you want to help me. But you're just scared that I will turn you in to the _Maunon._ What is at stake here is that if I don't find them, Azgeda will. If we don't find them they're going to torture my parents for information about the weapons. And once they do..." She points to the door, "They will come break down all of the doors of every hut in every clan and they will use those guns to kill and spread fear in order to try to take control of the coalition."

"You're right. Azgeda has started to become uneasy. There have been many times where they have been passive aggressive toward Trikru. They keep stealing some of our supplies and crops, but it's a much better alternative than them killing us." 

"So you know that we're on the same side. Queen Nia is jealous of Lexa and will do whatever it takes to get her power. And no one will suspect a thing if I am just outside going hunting or traveling with someone like you." She gets up from the table and puts out her arm. "So are you with me...or not?" 

Niylah gets up and shakes her hand. "Yes. I accept." 

"Good. Now I will tell you my story, as promised." 

"I am Luna, the girl who fled the conclave. You already know that but what you don't know is why I fled; I was so tired of the bloodshed and the violence that I was surrounded by when they captured me. I was used like an experiment by being trained vigorously, fed certain foods, and taught different things compared to the other children with normal blood. When I was thrown in the conclave, I took out all the anger built up inside of me when I fought my brother to the death. When I won against him, I felt so drained. His stained black blood on my hands made me feel so bewildered at the fact that I just killed him. When I was put up against Lexa in the final round, I couldn't take it anymore so I ran." Every time she told this story Luna always managed to shed a tear. It quickly fell down her cheek. When they both made eye contact again, she quickly wiped it away before Niylah grabbed her arm. 

"Luna," Niylah says in a soft voice, "It's okay to cry. I know how you feel..." 

"...I was born in the outskirts near Tondc." She started, "Like you, I was also used by the people I loved the most; my parents. I didn't have the same traumas as you but I had such a bleak future ahead of me. I wanted to be like my parents, and looked up to them so much, but I was forced to be a farmer to till my parents lands as they went out to drink and go to Tondc." She grabs Luna's hand, slowly tracing a pattern with her thumbs. "I know how it feels to be used." 

Before you knew it, Luna started to bawl her eyes out. Her chin quivered and she started to shake. "Hey-" Luna pulled her tightly into an embrace and buried her face onto her shoulder. Niylah started to rub her back. "It's okay my friend. You're safe here. We're going to find your parents and make sure that Azgeda doesn't get to them first." 

They confided in each other for the rest of the evening, talking about each of their customs, traditions, and the ways that they lived.

For Luna, making a new friend wouldn't be so bad after all. 

* * *

**Near the Azgeda border - DEVASTATION DAY**

"It's been three weeks, and now you decided to just give up?"

"Shut up, merchant girl. I'm not having the best of days. Now shut up and stay still."

"Speak for yourself, sea girl. You're the one that made me cranky."

"We are near the Ice Nation's border, if you raise your voice again I will shut you up myself."

In the time they spent together, they learned many things about each other: First off, Luna personally liked the Skai guns and had used it before during target practice in a secret room in the oil rig. Two, Luna found out that Niylah is pretty tough and built when she manages to carry an entire panther without collapsing on the floor. And three, Luna hates it when she is called 'sea girl, so Niylah always manages to get on her nerves and tease her with that nickname. Over time, they confided in each other in the dark nights they spent together. Luna decided to not leave when the debt of her watch's worth was payed off, leaving Niylah a bit relieved that her only company didn't abandon her. They hunted together, went on adventures to find her parents together, eat together, sometimes even shared a bed together when Luna wasn't upset, although one time she kicked Niylah off the bed in her sleep. They were pretty close friends, but every time she saw Niylah turn her back to her in order to change her top, her eyes would quickly graze over her toned and muscular arms and shoulders...before whipping her head away in embarrassment.

_Don't catch feelings for her, just don't._

_You're a leader for Heda's sake, act like one and show some respect for your friend._

_You're_ _not in love with the girl. Just leave it at that._

She told herself that, yet her eyes lingered on her friend's skin every time. Luna felt a deeper connection that she couldn't seem to decipher; She sometimes would space out when having conversations with her, nodding her head and pretending to listen while she kept getting pulled into those peaceful eyes. She's glad that she isn't _Heda_ , other wise she would have to experience the 'Love is weakness talk' over and over again from Titus the annoying _Fleimkeipa._

In the few weeks they spent together they journeyed around as disguised warriors from Polis so that people wouldn't spread rumors about Luna and mention it in the summit. After that, she went back to Flokru to talk to Amba after their sort-of-falling out from earlier and they forgave each other. In that time, she smuggled two automatic rifles with her back to the trading post, but didn't bother to tell her friend that just yet.

The black night swallows the trees into darkness, with the only light source coming from the faded moon light puncturing through the thick woods. It is peaceful and quiet. The whole world seemed to be asleep and tucked under the blanket of slumber. Some quiet trudging of feet can be heard as Luna plunges deeper into the dark forests of Trikru. She is getting close. Closer than she ever had to finding any sign of her parents. Dead or alive, that didn't matter, as long as the guns that were stashed away weren't in the hands of their blood thirsty enemies. She wears a hood and dark clothing to help her blend with her surroundings. She had some war paint and a bandanna to conceal any signs that she looked like Luna _kom Flokru._ Today is the day that she will finally-

"What are you doing? It's dark outside and you should get some rest." A voice calls from behind her. Of course she would be followed, it didn't matter at this point if her friend would agree with what she was doing or not, she needs to get to the enemy to find out every thing about the guns and her parents. Luna spins around to find Niylah on her tail. "I'm glad you followed me. I don't want rest right now. I need answers." Before Niylah could say anything, Luna passes her up and keeps walking in a straight line.

Niylah shakes her head, but walks at a faster pace to catch up with her friend. "Luna this better be a good time since your parents are currently near the Azgedan border in hiding. We need to be careful-"

" _Shop of_ and be quiet." She says with a strong tone. "Let's carry on with this plan." 

"Are you sure you want to do it today?" Niylah's voice is deep with concern. "We were supposed to do this tomorrow, I just don't want you getting hurt." 

"Thanks, but I feel like we're waiting too long." Luna looks around to see if anyone is following them, and comes closer to Niylah. "When we went to Flokru, Amba said that the Azgedan ambassador was leaving to Polis around this time." She grabs Niylah's arm and leads the way toward a more cooler area of the forest, knowing very well that she could easily be shot down if she came too close to the end of the forest. However, she looked like an ordinary Trikru scout searching for any signs of threats nearby, so less was at stake for her at the moment. 

"Amba also remembers that he always exits that clearing of snow and comes into our side of the border along his way." 

"Luna-"

"I know what I'm doing, just please follow the plan." She huffs and let's go of Niylah's arm. "Otherwise Queen Nia will have our heads in no time. Now catch." Luna tossed a long and heavy object at Niylah before she could react. She grabs the object and almost loses balance. When she realizes what she is holding her eyes go wide. "Guns? Since when did you-" She looks up at Luna and narrows her gaze. "Luna I told you we weren't supposed to take them with us!" 

_She sounds like the guns weren't apart of the plan, as if she noticed them but didn't say anything._ _Wait, since when did Niylah know that I had smuggled guns with me back to our Trading Post? How did she-_

"What?" Niylah interrupts her internal panicking. "You thought that they were hidden? I know every part of my trading post by heart." Luna mentally face palms. How could she be such an idiot and not realize that she was a guest in her friend's house-turned business center? She should've hid them some where in the forest, or in the clearing. But that could mean that there would be a high chance that it could fall into the wrong hands, Azgeda or Trikru it didn't matter. It is a dilemma that she couldn't really solve.

"I'm sorry." Luna dips her head in shame. "I should've told you earlier if that was the case." Both of them slow down their walking since they are near the end of the forest.

"It's okay, let's just get on with the plan." They both halt when they see six people in the clearing in front of them. 

"Why am I even here?" An annoyed voice grumbles.

"Echo, we need you in case we get ambushed on our way there. That's the Queen's orders." 

"The Queen would've told me herself if that was the case. Stupid _gonas_ -"

" _Shop of_ , Echo and just follow orders." The leader, who is the ambassador turns behind to the four other warriors, who were standing clueless a few paces behind the spy and himself. "What are you waiting for? Let's get going into the forest!" When they see the Azgedans coming their way, Luna tugs at Niylah.

"Quick! This way." She hisses and yanks Niylah with her. They both run away from the clearing and back into the thick dark woods. Niylah almost runs into the sea girl when Luna halts. "Here, we're going to hide here." She lowers herself to the ground and crawls toward some bushes that give way to a pathway. "They're going to come here." She pulls Niylah closer and lowers her voice. "It's the trail that leads to the villages toward TonDC." 

They sit with the company of the darkness for a few minutes, slowing down their breath and keeping perfectly still. The deafening silence threatened to consume them alive, almost frightening Niylah how serene the forests can get at nighttime. Luna slowly tilted her head up and is on high alert; her eyes dart every where to see if they're being followed. After a few moments they hear some talking in the far distance.

"Okay, I am going to do something that you won't like." Luna breaks the silence with her low voice. "Whatever you do, don't shoot unless I give you the signal." Luna slowly got up and slung her gun around her back. 

"Luna, wait-" Niylah gets up and grips her arm with wide eyes. "Please, don't die on me." She says with a mixed urge of fear, terror, and sadness. After her parents died by going out into the forest at night, the last thing Niylah wants is her friend to follow the same pattern. She felt that if Luna died, she would break mentally since they have relied on each other these past few weeks. Luna's eyes give a look a reassurance, that they would be alright. 

"I can't promise that, but the sea will guide me to the right path. With the seven seas entwined with my spirit, I will be secure in the heavens." She grabs her hand and rubs it. "Kom woda 'so gyon op, gon woda 'so kom daun." (From water we are born, to water we return.) She let's go of her arm and finds some hiding near a tree.

"Wait-"

"Osir nou don hogeda gon osir teina. Hos op yu!" Niylah quickly hides in the bushes again when she hears the bellowing voice. (We don't have all of us together. Hurry up!) 

"Sha, ambassador." The warriors and the ambassador are currently walking down the pathway. In a few moments, they will pass by where Luna and Niylah are. 

"Any signs gon sonraun?" (Any signs of life?) 

"No, ambassador." 

"Good. We rest here for the night before-"

"Ai don sin y'in. Go nau fou yu don wamplei." (You're in my sight. Go now before you have death.) The warriors quickly whip out their swords at the voice coming from the trees. Luna reveals herself with a sword of her own, her hood is pulled up all the way, and her eyes are dark. Niylah couldn't recognize her for a second due to her disguise and the hidden anger that she buried within herself over the past few years. 

"Don't attack her," The ambassador looks back at his four warriors. "They are our allies after all." The warriors slowly lower their weapons, but don't put them away in case Luna might attack. "Ai gaf gouthru klir, Trikru gona," He smiles with a somewhat convincing voice. "Osir laik na polis gon heda." (I seek passage, Trikru warrior, We are going to Polis for the commander.)

"Good ambassador from Azgeda," Luna spits back. "Then you will tell me where Luther and Lina _kom Floudonkru_ are, and I'll let you pass." This was the moment of truth; would her parents be alive after all, or would they just be the memories that replayed in Luna's head over and over again during her insomnia episodes? Would they be safe, or would they have died under the hands of their mortal enemies? 

"They're dead," He annouces. "They got killed after Luna _kom_ _Floudonkru_ fled the conclave. That coward of a natblida-" Niylah can see that Luna curled up her fists and flexed her jaw, she has a sick anger that almost overwhelmed her at that statement.

"They're not dead. You will tell me where they are or else I will show you what happens when you don't comply." Her voice spits out a little too much venom, showing the ambassador that she wasn't going to back down any time soon.

"I will repeat myself," He turns his head slightly backwards and gives a nod to his warriors. "Ai gaf gouthru klir!"

The warriors run as fast as they can and charge at Luna with weapons raised. Luna rolls her eyes and braces herself to face them. When the first one attempts to strike she knocks the sword out of his hands and smacks him into unconsciousness with the back of her own. She parry's the second warrior's attack and ducks under the third warrior's sword, she spins and knocks them both out of the ground and punches both of them hard in the faces to knock them out. The fourth warriors comes at her and she bangs their heads together and smashes his jaw. She didn't give her any time to recover and smashes her face again, leaving her stumbling backwards and slipping out of consciousness, slumping to the ground.

"Yu bants nau?" She notices the ambassador's face is flushed white in fear. "Ba nowe na soujon?" With that timing, there is a click from Niylah's gun, indicating that the safety is off. Luna walks with a stride and comes face to face with the ambassador. (You leave now? Where will you go?) 

"You have Skaikru guns? Impossible!" His brow furrows and he waves a finger at her. "Don't kill me too soon, I have eyes on you as well you foolish gona." Luna suddenly hears a twig snap in the distance, showing that Niylah wasn't the only one ready to attack tonight. _I should've brought backup._ But a light bulb goes off in her head. _I have a better idea._

"I'm sure they won't mind if I do this!" In a flash, she grips him by the collar and turns him around and pinning his arms behind his back. He shouts in protest but she uses her free arm to sling it around his neck into a choke hold. An Arrow passes to Luna's right and misses his chest.

"Clever girl..." He gasps, "But Queen Nia will be sure to destroy all of your lands before the Commander can protest-" Luna flexes her arm and tightens her chokehold, leaving him almost to the point where he will have to beg for air. 

"Tell me where Luther and Lina _kom_ _Floudonkru_ are, and I'll let you go." 

"They're dead!"

"Tell me," She let's go of his pinned arms and grabs her gun, putting it to his shoulder, "Where they are!"

"They're dead! Please believe me-"

**BANG!**

"AHHHHHH!" The bullet punched it’s way through his shoulder, causing a gaping hole in its wake that gushed out a dark red liquid. The blood splatters on Luna's face and her arms as it oozes out of the ambassador's skin. "This is too much pain! Just kill me!"

"No! You have information on them, whether they're alive or dead doesn't matter." She almost growls, "I'm not killing you," Luna fights the urge to dig her thumb into his bad shoulder. "Tell me where they are or else I'll make your life so miserable."

"Okay, okay!" He pants, "They got tortured and killed by Queen Nia and her assassins." Luna tightens the chokehold "I-I*gasp* saw...*gasp*...their execution... happen." Luna eases her hold a little bit, but presses him closer. "They were considered...useless for their intel on the Skaikru weapons that you have. Luther and Lina are dead!" No one could see Luna's eyes become glass orbs. She shuts her eyes and sniffs, resisting the over whelming tide of emotions that were going to crash down her walls. "I'm sorry...just please let me go!" 

"No," She almost croaks out. "You're going to take me to where they last were since I don't believe you."

"It's true." A voice pipes in from the trees. Luna whips her head around trying to see where the voice is coming from. "I was there when they killed them." Suddenly, a fist collides with the ambassador's face which shuts up his panicking. Luna let's go of the guy and sees his body crumple up on the floor below. A hooded figure with a bow and arrow comes face to face with her.

"I'm sorry for your parents, Luna." 

"Echo?" Luna tilts her head in confusion. "What are you doing here?"

"In the same predicament as you are-" Luna yanks her hood and grabs her by the collar of her cloak. She has had enough of everyone's bullshit, especially people from Azgeda who were trying to sabotage every thing she and the coalition have.

"Look, I know you probably want my head after Costia's betrayal of _Heda._ But, I had orders to shoot your friend in hiding." Echo tilts her head toward the bushes where Niylah is in hiding. "But I didn't shoot because I want to help you." Luna shoves Echo backwards out of her grasp. Niylah gets out of hiding and comes next to Luna, giving her a questionable look.

 _If Echo was more evil, then Niylah would've been dead by now and I could've been in grave danger._ But, she's an assassin and a spy so she could be setting her up into a trap, trying to lure her in by using her abstinence of killing her friend to strike again.

"Help us?" Niylah glares, "What's in it for you?" 

"The Coalition being at stake." Echo replies coolly, crossing her arms. "There is an army coming to march on TonDC that will attack us soon if we don't move along. So it's best that we better give them a distraction with your guns." 

"Since when were you the good guy?"

"Since Queen Nia decided to treat me like garbage." Echo rolls down her sleeve which reveals scars and bruises that decorate her arm. Luna put her hand on Echo's arm, turning it to examine the one's on her backside. Echo tugs her arm away. "That doesn't matter now, my people will start marching toward the clearing soon."

Whenever an ambassador passes by a town, the village makes sure that they have safe hospitality and treat them and their guards with respect, no matter what town their in or from. The warriors are told to stay off guard in order to have a less hostile environment. It's a custom made by Lexa in order to help the clans make amends with one another in order to feel united. The ambassador going to Polis was probably a decoy to lure the Trikru citizens so that they could be easily slaughtered by them before the neighboring warriors have time to protect them.

"Come on, we're going back to the edge of the forest." The three of them increased their pace as ran as fast as they could, dodging branches and logs along the way. When they finally stopped at the edge, Luna and Niylah almost collapsed. For a few moments Echo let them catch up with their breath. "They're all coming that way." She points to the massive clearing, noticing the orange and yellow dots of lit up torches in the distance.

"For Azgeda! For Azgeda! For Azgeda!"

"Wamplei kom Heda! Wamplei kom Heda!" 

"For Azgeda! For Azgeda! For Azgeda!"

"For Azgeda! For Azgeda! For Azgeda!"

"Wamplei kom Heda! Wamplei kom Heda!" 

"For Azgeda! For Azgeda! For Azgeda!"

The warriors repeating their chanting over and over again. The army is walking at a snails pace, but had hundreds upon hundreds of armed soldiers repeating the battle cries into the night.

Echo turns their head to the two others. "Now that you know that I was right, you guys will start to aim your guns to the sky and start firing when I give the command, it will serve as a good distraction." The chants started to become louder, the footsteps started to draw near. The army marched closer to the center of the clearing out in the open. Luna and Niylah both pointed their guns toward the sky, waiting for what seemed like forever for Echo to give the command...

"For Azgeda! For Azgeda! For Azgeda!"

"Wamplei kom Heda! Wamplei kom Heda-"

**"NOW!"**

Like a whip, the gun fire cracked through the night. They fired each bullet in sync, shooting the sky in a way as if they were given pistols and not Automatic Rifles. The warriors stopped marching and let out cries of panic and anger. "The plan worked, you can stop firing now!" Luna and Niylah held their fire, both noticing whisps of smoke coming from their front part of their guns (Flash Hiders).

"Chon ste bilaik?" (Who is that?)

"Ai nou know." (I don't know)

"Kom Keryon!" 

"The noise came from that way!" 

Luna grabs Niylah and runs back to Echo. "What now?" 

"What do you think?" Niylah gestures to the clearing, "We have to run before they catch us since they know that we caused the gunfire-"

The ground started to tremble under their feet. They all look up to the sky. "No way..." Echo parts her lips in awe, standing there like a kid in a candy store. Luna shakes her back to reality. "What is it, Echo?"

"The legends are true, the sky will come crashing down on us." She points to the sky, noticing that there is a massive streak of orange and red. 

"Kom graun, oso na graun op. Kom folau, oso na gyon op," Niylah recites from memory. "From the Earth, we will grow. From the ashes, we will rise."

Leaves start to rustle, animals start crawling around, the earth beneath their feet starts to shake even more. A slight rumble in the clouds are heard as a response. In the distance of the jet black sky, there are streaks of orange that slowly starts to come closer and closer.

"These are the meteors that were meant to come down on us once humanity has reached a breaking point." The objects started to fall down at a faster rate and were going to hit the clearing in a few moments. A sudden gust of wind almost throws them all backwards, forcing them to root their feet into the ground or get blasted away by the raging currents. "It's going to hit those warriors straight on. We have to run before-"

It was too late.

They couldn't run anywhere.

**Everything ended when metal struck the earth.**

The three of them were flung backwards, each smacking their backs onto tree bark so hard that it knocked them out for good.

The fireball and shock wave grew, and everything the raging flames touches was obliterated. Every living creature and warrior within their hideous circle of effect was instantly crumbled into ruins. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Interesting, a Clexa fan fic where Anya and Raven aren't lovers? What a rare find. (I mean this in the nicest way possible.)
> 
> #Ranya-friendship-for-once
> 
> I love how The 100 fandom on AO3 has so many tags of Anya/Raven Reyes and yet they didn't even talk to each other on the actual show (perks of shipping and fan fiction I guess).
> 
> \--
> 
> Abby had a point for once, but other than that..."Now she's just somebody that Clarke used to know."


	15. Close Ties and Fragile Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the spy deals with her consequences and meets someone, and the mechanic tries to get back Wanheda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Slight Torture
> 
> \+ A bridge chapter  
> \+ A small scene to help clear things up about the city of light and the afterlife in this story :)
> 
> More flashback/backstory content! I was originally going to put more of them but now that people support it makes everything better.

**15 DAYS AFTER**

_"As I said earlier, the Mental Institution Acts is in tandem with the Peaceful Arrest Acts. They both help the citizens and make things less traumatic for them. With the Mental Institution Acts, we are to put at least a bit of funding and support to help better the lives of those on the Ark. Fuji and I believe that if the Council is able to back these up, then we will be able to redeem ourselves after the citizens found out we cut budget funding. They will feel more secure and less afraid."_

_The council is gathered together. Each of them are on edge and talking about laws that they should consider, act quickly upon, or veto. Marcus Kane and Fuji have been trying their best to promote the Chancellor to change the way the Ark functions by making amendments to old laws and passing new ones that will help ease the tension between the working class citizens and the guards. They believe that by giving them more resources that will benefit their well being, they are less likely to riot against them. However, some of the other council members such as Abigail Griffin misinterpret their words and believe that they should keep their laws, and pass even more stricter ones in order to have order and stability on the space station._

_"Nice proposal there, Marcus and Fuji. I am interested to know more about this at a later time, but for now we have other matters to discuss." That is Jaha's formal way of saying that he has better things to worry about at this moment. Because in his mind, he feels like he does. He sits even more upright."_ _After the attempted breaching of the intercoms and security camera's in 90 percent of the sectors, Jake Griffin has been floated for his crimes. Now, thanks to Abigail Griffin turning her own daughter in, we are able to keep everything controlled." He gives everyone a small smile of relief. "If we weren't able to do so then the citizens would've found out and been unhappy."_

_"So what if they found out?" Kane asks,"The citizens would still be afraid of the guard and wouldn't attack."_

_"There are too many bad outcomes that outweigh the good ones, Marcus," Jaha turns to make eye contact with him, "As chancellor, I am not taking any chances here. I have to ensure that our citizens are safe, and keeping that information from them will keep them safe. You know what happened last time they found out about our budget cuts to Project Exodus."_

_"Yes, sir," Marcus nods,"If I may ask, why are we gathered here today because we usually meet every other day and-"_

_Jaha frowns, "I gathered you all here so we can talk about this girl." He looks at everyone, then back at Marcus. "This is urgent."_

_"Chancellor, If I may oppose," Fuji adds in,"We have better things to discuss such as The Peaceful Arrests Act. It's Marcus and I's proposal to help make sure that we are handling our citizens more safetly and minimize the damage of their well being and- "_

_"That can wait Fuji," Jaha interrupts, "This girl is a high priority. I will not discuss this issue with you both again," He stands up in place and moves his chair out of the way."We can't let her roam free. That is why I have asked for her presence so that we can see her intentions."_

_"But Thelonius-"_

_A knocking on the door cuts off Fuji._

_"Chancellor and council members, If I may please enter."_

_"Granted," Jaha says._

_He nods at everyone and they rise when a person in uniform walk in._

_"Your request has been heard. Here is Prisoner 319." The person in uniform moves to the side when two guards shove a blonde girl inside. Her arms are behind her back, and her face looks very troubled. When the girl pushes against them the guards roughly shove her on a chair facing them._

_"Hey! Leave the girl alone," Marcus raises his voice. "We'll take care of her."_

_Jaha ignores how they treated the girl and looks at the uniformed man. "Thank you Commander Shumway," He says, "Please give Diana Sydney my regards for continuing the Exodus Project."_

_"Yes, Chancellor." Shumway leaves the room with his guards._

_"The Council Members are here to converse about Subject 319," He gestures to the girl, who gives him a glare as a response. "Shall we begin?"_

_The silence of the council members tells him that it's a yes. "Now at ease." They all sit down in sync._

_"We have a very important task at our hands," He starts. "We are deciding the fate of Clarke Elizabeth Griffin, the daughter of Jake Griffin, who was one of the best engineers on the Ark. Our subject at our hands today will be discussed among our council members to decide whether or not she is a threat to The Ark Station."_

_This roughly translates to whether or not she should be floated for knowing some deadly secrets. "But first, we will like to hear what she has to say."_

_He looks at the girl, who's eyes are clouded with hatred._

_"Why are you bringing me here?" She responds."I don't know what you want from me."_

_"Why do you think you're here today Ms.Griffin?" Jaha answers back with a smile. "We want to hear from you."_

_"I'm here because you guys are going to float me."_

_"This is what the Ark has done to people like her!" Marcus slams his hand on the table. "You see Thelonius, she's frightened and scared"_

_He points to her. "When they get arrested they think they're going to be on a death sentence and-"_

_"That's enough, Marcus." Jaha raises his voice. "Please continue, Ms.Griffin."_

_"Why are you keeping this information from them?" She says with a pinch of pain in her voice. "They need to know." _

_"What information?" Kaplan, one of the other council members chimes in. How much does she know?"_

_"She knows enough that she is crossing a line that can't be uncrossed," Jaha makes eye contact with the girl. "Thanks to Jake Griffin she now knows that we don't have enough oxygen to supply everyone until the 100th year that we left to space-"_

_"Don't you dare talk about my dad like that!" The girl shouts. She tries to wiggle her arms out of the handcuffs but fails miserably. "You floated him yourself!"_

_"We did what had to be done," Jaha responds coolly. "We did it for the safety of the citizens on the Ark."_

_"Why?" The girl frowns. "Were you afraid that they would lash out? Well they only riot because you guys lash out at us every time we screw up."_

_She turns to look at her mother._ _" **Isn't that right Council Member Griffin?"**_

_Abigail Griffin's cheeks flush and her eyes widen in response. She doesn't respond and decides to glance elsewhere. The other council members exchange worried looks at each other and almost squirm in the uncomfortable moments after. Never has anyone they put on trail been so aggressive against them. Perhaps the laws have been so harsh that it has oppressed the citizens to a breaking point, like how the girl is reacting at this moment._

_"Tell me Clarke," Jaha breaks the silence and leans forward. "If you were the Chancellor and just found out that you can't supply everyone with oxygen, what would you do?"_

_"I would do the right thing and tell them the truth," The girl shoots back. "It's better to know too much information than none at all."_

_"What if telling a painful truth isn't the right thing? What would you do if they riot?"_

_"I would be the bigger person and deal with the consequences myself," The girl says. "That's how leaders are. They have to make tough decisions."_

_"Sometimes those right choices are not telling them at all." Jaha narrows his gaze."That is why you're considered a threat. You will not be allowed to tell anyone of your decisions."_

_"This is going nowhere," Cole, another member pipes in. "We should decided whether or not she is a threat on a vote. The Chancellor will abstain to make the vote fair."_

_"All in favor of releasing Clarke Griffin and telling the information to the citizens," Jaha says. Marcus and Fuji raise their hands in sync._

_"All in favor of keeping her in custody until further notice." Kaplain, Cole, and Muir raise their hands. Jaha turns to the girl's mother. "Abigail Griffin, you have the final vote. If it's a tie it will go to the chancellor to make a final decision."_

_"Mom, please let me go. You know that I didn't mean to listen in on Dad's secrets. You knew that I eavesdropped on accident. Please release me." The girl says with a begging voice. "I will be fully responsible for my actions. I bear the burden of the consequences so they don't have to."_

_The mothers lingering gaze on her daughter adds to the unresolved tension in the room. She then turns to Jaha and whispers in his ear. His facial expression doesn't change after her mother turns away._

_"Abigail Griffin votes..."_

_Marcus looks up to the ceiling, hoping that she would side with her for once._

_" **...in favor of keeping her in custody."**_

_The council members let out a gasp. Surely, they all thought that it would go down to the Chancellor's vote. This was the first time that Abigail Griffin went against her daughter's say._

_"What?" The girl says a little too loud. Her cheeks are flushed and a single tear fell down her face. "Mom," She croaks. "How could you?"_

_"I'm sorry Clarke," Her mom's eyes glint with sadness. "But I made this decision with my rationality and not my feelings."_

_Before everything went south, she would mention in meetings things that Clarke would do, or what Clarke would say if she was on the council, and the other members wouldn't oppose; she was her daughter after all, she means well. But today...it came as a shocker._

_On cue, the guards come in and gently tug at Clarke to escort her out the door. When the girl resists at the entrance, the guards tighten their grip on her._

_"Please just let me go!" She yelps helplessly. "I'm not a threat, I promise!" Her continued shouting makes the other council members wince. As soon as her voice fades away, Marcus slams his fist and startles everyone once again._

_"Abby are you out of your mind?" Marcus fumes. "That was our only chance in making amends with the citizens. You had the final vote."_

_He then turns to the other council members. "And you guys who voted against us, you're going to regret it soon!"_

_"The decision is final." Jaha intervenes. "We have no choice but to put her back in her cell until her fate is further discussed."_

_"Are you saying that we're going to float a child?!" Kane exclaims. "We haven't done that in decades."_

_"Unless you want to join her as well, I suggest you stay quiet and continue with your proposals."_

* * *

**Post-Devastation - Azgeda Palace**

After the crash, everyone slowly gathered the pieces of their dead beloved ones and did a big burial near the Azgeda palace. There was nothing Azgeda could do. But at first they thought it came from the _Maunon,_ but they all remembered that the Reapers no longer attacked them, meaning that something happened on the inside. Hundreds of people gathered around in silence, mourning the losses of their warriors, guards, fathers, mothers, and more.

Queen Nia is furious after she found out that the ambassador was found knocked out in the midst of the Trikru forests near TonDC. After the mass funeral, she immediately requested for Echo and another person at her presence, ignoring Roan's continuous requests to storm into Polis and demand for the Commander to fix things. 

The throne room doors burst open as Echo quickly rushed inside. Roan gives Queen Nia a certain look before rolling his eyes.

Huffing and puffing, she slowly regains her breath and stands still. "You requested for me, your Majesty?" Echo asks. "It's been a few days since the crash, we can discuss more about it in your meeting quarters if you'd like-"

"Roan tie her up." Nia cuts her off. "She doesn't deserve to be treated as an equal." Roan comes up to the spy and pins Echo's hands behind her back. He shoves her down to the floor to make her kneel. He then grabs a piece of fabric and wraps it around her hands making sure that she can't fight back. 

"My Queen-" Echo's eyes widen in shock at the sudden change of mood. She grits when Roan tightens the fabric. "What are you doing? Please untie me!" 

"Not until you tell me the truth." Nia spits back on her throne, "Tell me why the two of you failed to protect the escort party to Polis!" Echo notices that Ash, one of the warriors on her escort party, is also in the presence of them all. 

"My Queen, we were attacked by a Trikru scout." Ash says while bowing. "She didn't let us pass, but asked for the location of Luther and Lina _kom Floukru._ "

"And what about them did they ask for," Nia says, her eyes shift with curiosity. "Did you tell them anything or no?"

"No, Your majesty." Ash responds coolly. "We all got knocked out-" 

"You let yourself get knocked out?! Don't you know better than that!" Nia rages. She gets up from her seat and walks toward Ash until their face to face, "Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim!" (Get knocked down, get back up again) 

"Y-you're r-right.I-I'm sorry for letting you down, Y-your Majesty," Ash sputters nervously. "I don't know where Echo was, she was supposed to watch from the trees." Echo grunts and shoots a glare at Ash. She gives her a 'Why the hell did you say that now the Queen is going to kill me' type of look. Queen Nia turns to Echo, who quickly avoids eye contact. 

"Is that so, Echo?" Queen Nia says with a disappointment on her tongue.

"Yes, My Queen." Echo confirms. She tries her best to not look at her lingering cold gaze. "I had to take care of a few archers. They were going to shoot the warriors if I didn't act soon enough, so I made my choice to help them out." 

"You helped them out?" Queen Nia grits her teeth. She quickly turns to the warrior. "Ash, do you remember anything else that night?" 

"I-I I'm not sure, but she knocked our ambassador out when he got shot by the guard or spy-" Echo hisses again at Ash to shut up. Queen Nia frowns. "B-but he was screaming in pain so she didn't want him to suffer." She quickly redeems Echo's actions, but all Queen Nia does is give a ghost of a nod. 

"Very well." She turns back to Echo, "Tell me how come you couldn't fight off the scout?" Echo knew that her Queen is trying to interrogate her to see if she would break and lie, or to justify her actions and tell the truth.

Or in this case, look like she's telling the truth.

"The scout is disguised as one of Lexa's top Polis guards, I tried to reason with them since it would help make things better-" 

"You did what again?!" She stomps her foot.

"My Queen, I tried to be diplomatic with them. I tried to be like the ambassador-" 

"You are not an ambassador!" She walks to be face to face with Echo. Echo winces when she presses her finger on her chest. "You are just a spy and an assassin, and you work for me! Not for Lexa _kom Trikru._ " Echo can sense the amount of disgust that is read on her queen's face. "Now, who was the scout that attacked you? Did she give you her name?" 

"No, she didn't," Echo dips her head in disappointment. "But I managed to make her and her archer friend follow me,"

Nia gets interested at that statement, finally feeling hopeful for her spy for once.

"I was going to lead them straight to our army to get killed before the metal from the _Maunon_ fell into the sky." Echo says bitterly. "After that, Roan found me against a tree and took me back here."

That was the only truth in that statement. While Echo was trying to regain consciousness after the metal fell from the sky, he found her bleeding under a tree and carried her home. 

"Very well," Queen Nia says. "If you really want to redeem yourself, listen closely: When our plans finalize and we start a war against Lexa, you will find Wanheda and kill her to show how powerful Azgeda is. That strange girl from the sky won't be accepted under the coalition and is a threat to us all, but she isn't trained well. We are done here, you will start your search party for Luna tomorrow." 

Echo hesitates when she says Luna's name but nods.

"Yes, Queen Nia of Azgeda." 

What Echo didn't know is how hard those missions would turn out for her.

First off, she let Luna flee and bruised herself multiple times to show that she got beaten up severely by her to show how strong she is.

Second, She never felt more humiliated in her life when she encountered Wanheda that day. She made her beg and cry for help; making her submit to her command and do whatever she said in order to save her life. 

* * *

**Below Heaven - City of Light**

Clarke is living with royalty.

Clarke is alive.

Clarke is on Earth.

Clarke survived the landing.

Clarke. Clarke. Clarke.

That is all she could think about - in the least romantic and sexual way possible.

She couldn't believe that their efforts to at least send one of their kind down to Earth actually happened.

After befriending Anya, Raven spent another day trying to recoup herself. Raven thought that Clarke actually died in the crash since she couldn't sense her being in the heavens or the City of Light. She keeps trying to tell herself that Clarke isn't in hell, that she would be joining her shortly, that someday she would meet her here to talk about everything and nothing at the same time. But, she decided to suppress those thoughts, and ask a certain smart friend for help to find the blonde.

"Where are you taking me?" A curious voice tunes her out of her thoughts. A breeze tickles her face to remind her that she's on a mission to try to see Clarke Griffin in person. 

"Cheer up, Monty," Raven links her arm with her friend's. "We're just going to stroll downtown. Now come on, we need to talk anyways."

" 'We need to talk' is usually said in relationships, " Monty smirks. "Are you breaking up with me?" 

"Aww you wish we're together, now don't get Harper to come after you," Raven teases back.

They stop at the end of a sidewalk, Raven tilts her head to the traffic light. "The light is green, let's pause here before we get hit by some cars."

"We can get hurt here?" Monty asks with a brow raised. "I never knew we could feel pain now that we're in heaven." Raven examines the cars with Monty before realizing that she has to answer back.

"We're not in heaven, we're in the City of Light," She gestures toward the buildings surrounding them. "We can still feel suffer from blows and punches." 

"So what happens when we get fatally hurt or killed here?" Monty says while unlacing their arms. "Do we go up to heaven?" 

"Correct. It's more like a video game, except you have infinite lives. It takes some time to go back and teleport from heaven to the City of Light." Raven confirms.

When they cross the street, they kept walking until they stopped in front of Grounders Cafe, a place named by some older members from Earth.

"Now let's go inside here, I feel like eating."

Quiet chattering from other people filled up the atmosphere in the place, but it felt nice and cozy. They took a small table and sat facing each other.

"So why did you want to meet with me?" Monty breaks the ice. "I was playing some games with Jasper, Harper, and Miller." 

Raven leans forward with a glint of hope in her eyes. "You're going to help me get to Clarke."

Monty opens his mouth.

"Clarke Griffin is alive?" His eyes widen. "I haven't seen her since we were running from the guards." Monty didn't remember what happened after he took the chip. And when the Ark exploded he knew that he was dead, but didn't feel any pain. After all, the chip helped take away all the possible pain anyone could face.

"Yeah you haven't seen her in awhile cause your mind was uploaded here in the flame," Raven rolls her eyes. "That was a really smart move you did when you took the chip-"

Monty kicks Raven under the table in response. "Ow, jeez I'm just kidding."

"Well is she sleeping or is she awake?" Monty fiddles with his thumbs. "Cause if she's awake it's a lot harder to get to her. Especially since we're newer to teleportation in this realm."

"Huh, well you mentally died before me. And time works different here so tell me more about how the City of Light works." 

"Well, you've been to her safe room before where Becca sometimes visits. That's one of many Teleportation Hubs, they can take you to the mind of the people who are living. If however, someone else is visiting them you are directed to another person that is nearby them." 

"That makes much more sense during the first time I went to Clarke. I got redirected to Anya and I was back in the Ark Station for some reason. I've been spending hours trying to figure it out but I needed to clear my head and that's why I came to you."

Raven got moved to the Ark Station because that is all Clarke could think about in her dreams once she died.

However, when Clarke met her mother she went to where Abby was thinking since Abby wanted to see her and Clarke didn't. If Clarke and Raven wanted to see each other then they would've met on Earth, the Ark, or the two worlds would collide together since it's a dream-type realm. 

"Oh, well thanks for counting on me," Monty smiles. "I've noticed a thing or two about this strange and beautiful city." He takes a long look around the cafe.

"You're right. This isn't heaven it's a place in between." Raven responds.

The City of Light is a bridge between life and death where both forces can interact with each other. Since it's technically below heaven but above hell. Like what Raven said, it is a place in between where all walks of life can interact after death. Additionally, those who take the chip can also interact with the dead. 

"Plus, A.L.I.E. is still active in some regions here, but not in downtown. Also, Monty when our ship blew up do you know how much of A.L.I.E. was on the ship?"

"I'd say about 80 percent of her being was on the ship. With 40 percent on Polaris, and 40 percent on the Ark Station. Then there's about 20 percent of herself in Becca's laboratory on Earth, for safe measures. The part of her that's on Earth helps function with the City of Light and all of those technicalities. I only know this because I am a big fan of Becca's teachings. My parents found her books, videos, research, and that's how I learned all about this." 

"Do you know if there's a hell, or does everyone live in the City of Light?"

"No, there is a hell, it's called the Forests of the Dark. Depending on how many deaths is how long your stay lasts. If you kill one person, you experience their death through a flashback and you see in their view of how they killed you. You can feel their pain as well. If you kill multiple people, you experience all their deaths one by one. So some of the council members such as Jaha have to experience thousands of them before he can wander in the City of Light." 

"Sounds wonderful," Raven sarcastically says, "Forests of the Dark is a very light word for hell. Is there an actual place with magma or no?"

"No, there isn't." 

"Huh makes sense, I think once we snap our finger's we'll be able to get to Clarke, and hopefully bring her here to show her that I'm alive." Raven leans closer. She puts both of her hands on the table. "Here, we have to hold our hands together so that you don't teleport somewhere else."

Monty interlaces their fingers together. "Are you sure this will work?" He asks. "Because if not you owe me a drink." 

"It will work, trust me on this one." Raven inhales a deep breath and shuts her eyes.

"Okay..." She clears her throat. 

"Earth. North America. Polis. Clarke Elizabeth Griffin. Teleport."

* * *

**Post - Devastation (After the 'failed search' for Luna)**

"You fool!"

"Agh!" Echo cries out when Roan presses the hot iron against her skin.

"Stop! Stop! Please!" She begs. "Please....My Queen....stop!" She thrashes against her seat where she is tied up, trying to move so that she doesn't have to feel any more pain on her hip. 

"You failed to protect the ambassador," Queen Nia says. "He almost bled to death and you weren't there to help him. Explain!"

"I said so earlier, I swear I'm telling the truth!" Echo pleads. "There were patrolling guards from Polis that mistaken our escort party as a raid. I couldn't stop him because I was too busy shooting down their archers nearby and-"

Echo gasps when she feels the steaming blade elsewhere on her skin."If that's true. Then why did Luna _kom Floukru_ come out of hiding days after the crash!" 

"I don't know. I swear-" The burning increases as the metal digs deeper into her skin.

"Stop it now-"

A fist connects with her stomach which makes her lurch forward. The ropes that are constricting her movements almost make her gag.

"You're lying to me, you traitor," Nia hisses. "You know very well what you did." 

"My Queen, I would never lie to you," Echo pleads. "Please stop this!" 

The throne rooms doors are swung open to a furious girl. Her face is wide with horror when she sees Roan branding Echo's skin. 

"Mother, what are you doing? Leave her alone!" Ontari shouts. She tries to intervene until Nia moves to block her way.

"Mom, let me through!" She pushes the queen away with almost a shove. "Roan stop torturing her and leave!" She yanks the blade from Roan and waves a finger at him. 

"Ontari, It's our mother's orders-" 

"Now!" She commands. 

She turns to her mother, "Mom, Luna came out of hiding due to the crash, not because Echo missed her shot. Now stop hurting her!" She points to Echo, who is on the verge of tears and slightly quivering against the ropes.

"It's already too late for that," Nia replies back. "If you really knew what was best for her than you would stay out of this conversation."

"Mom, I'm serious. Stop treating her like a punching bag and let it go," Ontari says with urgency. "I know you've been trying to track down the leaders of Flokru for so long, but it isn't Echo's fault. She's been in hiding forever, plus isn't she the one who found her?"

Ontari knew that whenever her mother was mad, she liked to take it out on other's rather than face it herself. As the Queen of Azgeda she became corrupted with her power and abused it on her subjects, with Echo being one of the main ones.

"Unfortunately, yes," Nia says. "She couldn't even take her down, that pathetic fool-"

"Mom, Luna has been trained by the best of the best in the capitol before she fled the conclave," Ontari says with a defensive tone. "She is one you don't want to fight with. Echo abstaining from that battle is a wise choice, she could've died while trying to capture her for us." 

"Fine, I'll drop it," Queen Nia bitterly says. "We're done here after all. We failed to kill the commander last night when things got out of hand, now war is going to be at our front as well." She walks to the door, but turns back for a second. "I'm going to get the new recruit into her quarters, you best better behave." 

"What recruit?" Ontari frowns. "We have an army full of them. Why are you focusing on that girl? And why does she have quarters?" Ontari didn't like this new recruit at all. It took up some of her mother's time ever since she became so fond of her. Only the commanders in the flame would know if this new person is a spy, an assassin, or an exploiter trying to take advantage of Queen Nia by being a promising heir to the throne, even though Ontari is supposed to rule after her mother passes away.

"She's going to take over if I die in the war. We had this conversation earlier, Ontari. You're going follow and give her advice like how you were with me after she takes over." 

"Yes, Mom." Ontari grumbles and rolls her eyes.

And with that, Nia exists the throne room. She gives a certain gaze at Roan to silently tell him to leave as well. Roan mutters something under his breath before exiting as well, leaving Echo and Ontari together. 

"So what actually happened at the crash?" 

"What I just said earlier," Echo spits back. "Now shut up and untie me." 

"Well that's one way to be nice to royalty-"

Echo shoots her a glare and Ontari puts her hands up in mock surrender.

"Woah there. Don't worry, I won't question the truth," Ontari says. "Plus, that new girl will be replacing me as Queen Nia's second."

She swiftly untied the ropes that restricted Echo's movements. The conversation that her mother had with Echo and Ash did make her curious to why she tried to reason with the so called 'Polis guard'. Echo did talk to them instead of putting them under a head lock or knocking them out on the spot.

"I'm not stupid Echo," Ontari blurts out before she can take it back. "Did she actually return to you?"

"She?"

"Luna. Was she the guard that you encountered right before the crash?"

"Look Ontari, if you're going to tell me off then you might as well do it now and watch me get a beating again. Stop trying to kiss ass to your mother and leave me alone." 

"I know how it feels to be used by someone of authority," Ontari replies. "My mom shuns me and expects me to be the perfect natblida so that I can take over after Lexa dies. I don't want to become the next commander yet she is forcing me to enter the next conclave, or else Roan takes over Azgeda. Like you, I don't have much of a choice here either. Now let's go before they yell me for untying you." 

Echo thought that she would be able to redeem herself to her Queen; her identity was all about following someone's orders and fulfilling them with ease. After Azgeda's defeat she almost cried knowing that her Queen died without ever appraising her for being an honorable member of the Ice Nation. She is now going to have to try to find her own path and dig deep down to reflect on who she really is.

She's no longer a killer or an assassin anymore.

She's just Echo.

* * *

**Earth - Night time**

"Where are we?"

"I don't know."

Monty and Raven managed to get down to Earth in one piece.

But the problem is...that they don't know where they are.

It's not like they could automatically know the location of every place. They came down from the City of Light, not heaven. They could've just visited Clarke from heaven, but it would've taken much longer. Clarke would've thought that she was hallucinating if they did so. Plus, the City of Light's Teleportation Hubs are more convenient and fast, as long as their away from A.L.I.E.'s regions. 

"We're on a balcony of some kind." 

"Sometimes the Teleportation Hubs can malfunction sometimes," Monty rubs his chin in thought. "Depending on how far away it is from A.L.I.E's regions, is how accurate it can be; the closer it is to the regions under A.L.I.E, the weaker it is." 

"Are you serious right now," Raven says with almost a groan. "They could've screwed up Polis with Polish or Poland."

"Poland?"

A cool gentle breeze touches their faces. 

"Monty, I knew it! We're in Poland! We screwed up the landing, this both of our faults!"

Little did they know that they were in the balcony of the Commander's Quarters, where Clarke lives and sleeps. However, since Raven and Monty both didn't pay much attention in Earth Studies, they couldn't really tell whether or not they were in Polis or Poland. 

"There could've been many other cities named Polis at the time, so we should try again." Monty says. "I'll go back up to the City of Light and try again."

"Monty no!" Raven turns to him. "Wait-"

Monty disappeared into thin air. Raven groans. It will take some time for him to figure out how to get back to Raven at her specific location.

"Goddamn it he's an idiot. Now I'm stuck until this person wakes up, there's no way Clarke would be living in such a royal environment. She even hates being called Princess." She realized now that Monty is gone, she is chatting to the air. "God, why am I talking to myself. Get it together Reyes!" She leans over the balcony and dips her head down in defeat.

_Maybe Clarke is in hell. Maybe she committed some crimes._

_Maybe she went mad, or went on a killing spree._

She stared at the moon and notices the stars twinkling in the dark sky. There still is hope that she's on Earth...right? This can't be Anya's quarters. There's no way. This feels like...Lexa's quarters. Who else would be on the top floor with an amazing view of the town underneath her?

"Raven?" A voice pipes from behind her. She spins around and drops her jaw. 

"Clarke?" 

"What are you doing here?" Clarke says. "H-how are you here?" 

All Raven could say in that moment is, "Hello to you too Griffin." 

"I missed you-" Raven runs to Clarke and hugs her. She holds onto her for dear life, still trying to absorb the fact that Clarke _actually is here in person_. "I missed you, too Clarke." She whispers. "I tried for so long to find you again." 

"I thought you were dead." 

Raven pulls away and nods her head in confirmation. "Yes, I'm dead but I'm here to visit you." She peers back for a second before facing Clarke again. "It's a long story, but I'm only here for a limited amount of time." 

"Tell me everything," Clarke puts her hands on Raven's shoulders, trying her hardest not to shake Raven with excitement. "How's Finn? How's Monty? Jasper?" 

"Clarke, they're all fine." Raven reassures. "I came to check up on you. I wanted to see how you were coping." 

* * *

Coping.

That's a funny word. 

_It's like she knows what I'm going through._

Wait- 

Does _Raven know all of my thoughts like Abby does?_ Clarke pauses for a second. _I probably need to remind myself to make sure no one else goes through my head._ _I need to put up some Firewall or blockade._

"Have you went through my mind?" She asks with a hint of fear. Her pupils shrink a little while going through all the reactions Raven might have after seeing Wanheda. "Don't tell me your going to attack me, or anything. I didn't meant to-" 

"Clarke what are you talking about? I would never do that." Raven furrows her brows in confusion. "I just know that if someone crash lands after seeing their own home blow up that they're not okay. Also, since when did you become royalty? I thought you weren't about that life." She asks, which roughly translates to how did you start from almost dying in a forest to scoring a commander/leader's room on a sky scraper looking tower. 

"I..uh...well." Clarke stumbles on her words, probably blocking out any romantic encounters with Lexa.

 _Anya is right._ She thinks while smirking. 

"I met someone who helped me through a lot of my trauma. I still experience it but-"

"The princess met a king?" Raven tags along and pretends not to know who she's with. She almost steps back when she sees Clarke's face. "Or Queen? I don't judge." 

"I met the Commander of the Thirteen Clans." _Bingo_. _Jackpot. Nailed it on the head._

"Her name is Lexa, she's not here right now cause she's off attending a trade meeting, and I don't know if she could see you since you visited me. But she's..." Clarke resists the urge to start rambling about her lover and bits her lip. Even though it's dark outside Raven can clearly see that her friend is blushing. "Amazing."

"Excuse me? Is this 'I don't need no man' Clarke? Is this 'I don't like being called princess' Clarke?" Raven teases once again. "Even though Anya already told me all of this, you scored a big win for us both. Damn." 

"Wait what," Clarke gasps. "You met Anya before me?"

"I tried to get to you before, but you were busy with someone else so it takes me to the next person nearby." 

"Oh, I met my mom yesterday," _It's all slowly connecting together._

"So it makes sense. But I'm just going to rant about everything to you. Sometimes, I just feel so hopeless. After being tied up, locked, and almost tortured in a cellar I thought I was going to die right then and there. I attempted to sacrificed myself instead of killing someone else. I got tortured and interrogated, I tried to kill myself after I got saved...." Clarke trails off for a second and swallows a big lump in her throat, "...But that wasn't even the worse part. Everything from the Ark haunts me until this day." 

"Clarke I-" 

"We were supposed to live on Earth. We were supposed to be free from space, but the only thing we needed saving from was the council and the guards. They tortured, shot, and used us like we were puppets. We were supposed to live without fear. But I'm still recovering. The scars aren't physical, they're mental. And that's different. I have to stay strong, to be tough...I have to stay alive. Even though you built the bomb, **I'm bearing the deaths of us all since I'm living without you guys.** "

Raven grabs her arms, "Clarke, I'm so sorry I couldn't get to you earlier." She says, "I tried for so long. I was still trying to get over my death. I thought you were dead and I looked all over for you in heaven and in The City of Light." Her voice hinted with desperation. 

"All of us care for you Clarke," She interlaces their hands together. "We're all here for you. As much as you think you look emotionally horrible, you look so much better than before. And Lexa by the looks of it, loves you so so much since she can still see that there's a beautiful soul like yours. I don't care if she was a farmer, or the richest person in the world. She will care for you, and will do anything to make sure you're happy."

In the time span of Raven's death and meeting Clarke again, It feels like it's been awhile since they last been together. It's insane for her to think how much has changed since the mechanic is so used to the nights rolling into the days, and the days dragging into the nights, and so on. 

"I'm here, but I'm not here at the same time," Clarke confesses. "I hate getting flashbacks from things I don't want to remember." 

"I know. But I'm here. We're all here. You're not alone." Raven replies.

She feels a small tingling in her head, like a sort of signal that is telling her that she needs to go back. "I have to go, but if you want to contact me, just let me know."

"Love you Raven," Clarke smiles. "I'll let you know if I do. Thanks for seeing me." 

Raven takes a few steps backwards and starts to fade into the night.

Clarke didn't realized how much she missed seeing her friends.

The weight she bore was too overwhelming sometimes. Sometimes she would shut herself from the world in an attempt to course through the battlefields of her own mind. But after Raven came down to visit her, she feels more warm on the inside now.

 **She's not alone.** All this time she wasn't; her friends were there for her spiritually and emotionally. 

Raven really makes her realize that there is a life after death. And that Lexa really means the best for her.

The times that Clarke shut her out, Lexa gave her space.

The times that Clarke got upset and mad at her for no apparent reason, she let her fume like a revved up motor engine without trying to fight back. She let herself be Clarke's punching bag. To let her scream, cry, push, and shove without judging her because Lexa knew how hard it was for her. Even though she didn't feel what she was feeling, she knows how heart wrenching it is to have one's future torn apart right in front of their eyes.

Clarke walks back inside and runs right into Lexa. 

"Hey Clarke," Lexa greets her, "Sorry I'm so late, you usually give me a hard time but-oof!"

Clarke embraces her into a hug. Lexa's insides are going to explode at any minute due to this suffocating hold shes in. 

"Thank you, for everything." Clarke whispers, "I love you so much." 

Lexa pulls away looking flustered. "Wow, you seem to be in a lot better mood than when I left you for my meeting. Did a different person visit you from heaven?"

"Something like that." 

* * *

**A Day After the War - Azgeda Palace**

She couldn't imagine herself carrying the responsibilities of the thirteen clans on her shoulders like it's nothing, although for the past few years she secretly admired Lexa for doing so. Her family would disown her if she told them those things, she was forced to hate the coalition and become power hungry, but Ontari didn't feel a burning hatred toward the other clans like her brother somehow did. Now with her brother dead, she doesn't have to worry about being thrown into the conclave even though she wouldn't have to fight to the death. After a few visits from some ambassadors to check if she wasn't going to be corrupted ruler like her mother, Ontari is fighting the urges to just go to her quarters and sleep in her bed. The thoughts of the soft cushioning and furs makes her body ache with want for the various fluffy fabrics.

The final visit that is currently taking place in the throne room is with Anya, the girl that her mother taught her to hate to the core since she's from Trikru, and that Azgeda and Trigeda fought various times before Lexa came into command, that she should hate them due to their past conflicts before peace was even considered an option.

"Anya, thanks for stopping by at Azgeda." Ontari says with a smile. "I personally knew that we would lose this war before it started, it's thirteen clans against one. Wanheda counts as an entire clan cause she fights like a hundred warriors." 

"I've never been more proud in my life," Anya beams. "Making her fight for long hours against Indra each day was worth it. Indra's training did pay off for her." 

"She trained her?" Ontari says. "I'm impressed. The Commander of Death is someone I wouldn't want to mess with." She offers her forearm to Anya. "I will have my warriors escort you outside." 

Anya claps her forearm with her own. "The new Trikru general will be here shortly, your Majesty. You will be able to look over Azgeda trades with her." Ontari leads Anya to the door before exchanging goodbyes once again. Ontari watches Anya walk down the long hallway to exit the palace.

Ontari decides to not go back to her throne just yet and stand outside. Being formal would be a good first impression, especially to a general that over looks all of the trade routes. _One more general then I am done for the way._ Ontari thought.

After waiting for what feels like forever, she sees a girl with black hair walk inside. 

_I've seen her before._

_She's Anna the Trikru spy....I knew it._

"So, new Trikru general. You're also Queen Nia's so called recruit?" Ontari says. "Interesting, tell me more about yourself."

"Well, yes. I'm a spy, just like Echo," Anna says. "Before the war, I was spying on your lands and acted as an inside man. I knew that the war was going to start, your mother used to blabber about it all the time." 

"Well played, general." Ontari says. "You remind me of Anya _kom_ _Trikru_. You know her, right?" 

"Why yes I do," Anna confirms. "I haven't seen her in awhile though. She is the top general along with Indra and lives in Polis with her. She's the commanders second. I don't live in Polis but in my home village to take care of my family.""Well, you won't mind meeting my second as well," Ontari puts her hand on the door knob. "She should be arriving soon. I'm going to meet her outside, but please look inside." When Anna walks inside and closes the doors behind her a hand gently taps her shoulder. 

"Echo, your majesty." A guard steps aside to show her battered up friend. Ontari swallows the lump in her throat and tries her best not to imagine how dealing with Wanheda was like for her friend. "She isn't in the best condition but she wanted to see you." 

"Thank you, you're dismissed." When the guard walks away Ontari just stares at the spy for a few moments. Her eyes glance over her very decorated arms, chest, head, and neck. If Echo was a canvas then she would've been like an abstract art piece; paint would be splattered all over her, and there would be so much chaos with the clashing colors that were her countless bruises. 

**"Echo you look like shit, what happened to you?"**

"Wow, thanks for pointing out the obvious Ontari," Echo grumbles. She rolls up her sleeves and gestures to herself. " _Wanheda_ happened. Your mother thought she was an easy target, but she had lots training." 

"Well now that you wanted to see me," Ontari says. "I wanted you to meet the trade general and make sure that she doesn't try to hurt me. After all, she was a Trikru spy and told the Commander information about us months ago." She opens the door but walk in first. 

"Ontari-" Echo tugs at her arm. "I just wanted to talk to you one on one-"

"Anna _kom Trikru,_ meet my second." Ontari ignores her statement.

"Ontari, Why do you always interrupt me with your demands to come here-"

She immediately feels rooted to the Earth. Echo's mouth is hanging and her knees almost give in. She clutches onto Ontari for support as a nauseating wave crashes into her body.

"Impossible." She says. There's no way that she thought she would see that girl again. Her insides feel like their flipped upside down. 

Anna clenches her jaw in response but doesn't react as much as Echo does.

"Oh this better be good," Ontari notices the eye contact between the two of them. "Do you two know each other?" 

"Echo?"

**"Costia?"**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ?!


	16. Reaching Tranquility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girl meets a stranger in the dark.
> 
> The apprentice finds out how the commander got the clans unity and peace. (how Lexa came up with 'blood must not have blood' instead of 'blood must have blood' from canon)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this chapter 2 times. Probably one of my favorite chapters to write :)  
> It took so much effort but I'm so happy with how it turned out. 
> 
> .... more adventure is coming up!

".....hello...."

".....listen....to....me...."

"you...torture...."

"get....up...."

"....coward..."

"....die...suffer..."

".....kill...vain.."

".....blood..."

She awoke in a small room, no light managed to puncture through yet she could make out her surroundings. There were four windows at each of the four corners of the room, however she couldn't see anything from the outside but the darkness.

The room felt desolate, the emptiness of it made sure that it wasn't significant in anyway. She turned her sight to the door and creeped over to it, putting her hands on the rough texture of the rotten wood. 

_Am I dreaming again? How did I end up here?_ She didn't remember much from the night before, her memory now betraying her attempts at recollection and fogging up her thoughts. When she turned the knob, the door emitted a low creaking sound that almost startled her. 

She opened the door and is met with a very long hallway. The hall contained windows on both sides of it, each of the glass panels were stained with dirt and grass. It had similar resemblance to the room she found herself in, the darkness consuming the hallway and preventing any outside light from coming in. She took a small step out of the room, a sudden wave of chills brushes down her skin and crept up her spine.

It was so quiet that her breathing felt uncomfortable, she could visibly see the air coming in and out of her mouth.

She shivered at the coolness of the wind, but shook it off. In slow steps, she proceeded to walk forward. The texture of the carpeted floor greeted her feet with a soft fabric, but she noticed that it was also rough and battered up like the door she recently opened.

Looking from side to side, she wondered if she would see someone like Raven, or Finn. 

_Am I getting another visit?_ She was brought here, and she's never been in another mind space. 

Not knowing the answer and having no one to talk to, she's isolated.

Trapped, almost. 

Who else felt constricted in their own mind and thoughts like how she did in the hallway?

The silence almost threatened fill itself in her lungs. She continued to walk down the carpeted hallway.

Who would be on the other side of the door?

Who would want to talk to her in such a caged up place?

Who would want to see her and meet up in a dark hallway?

Who?

Why?

When?

She halted when something creaked at the end of the hallway.

Her breath started to become irregular, and her heart started to pound loudly in her ears.

She stared into the darkness at the end of the hallway for several moments, wondering who was there...

...until she got her answer.

A pair of eyes opened up in the pitch black darkness, starting deep into her soul. Her insides froze and her hands started to shake. She wanted to run away, but her feet were deeply rooted to the ground. She couldn't wipe her gaze from the malicious grin from where she was standing. Two soulless eyes and a horrible smile bore into her soul.

"I've been waiting for you." The voice echoed around the room.

She grew even more terrified since the voice wasn't coming from the monstrous figure in front of her. _It's mouth isn't moving. How is it talking?_

She tried to move again, but was immobilized. 

"You know, attempting to overpower me when you were about to kill her in the forest wasn't the smartest move." 

She tried to open her mouth, but it was clamped shut.

"You're just like a foolish lamb, obeying the system. You're so used to that by now after spending your life on the Ark Station." 

She realized that she had no control, this wasn't her mind space. 

"Trying to overcome your anger that you suppressed for so long is like trying to put toothpaste back in it's tube; a very messy process that fails miserably. So don't do that to yourself, let the anger take control of your body. Succumb to it, and become it's puppet. **After all, you're used to being used by the people you love-** "

"Shut up!" She managed to say, "Just shut up!" 

"Fighting back won't do you any justice, little lamb." 

"Go away, I don't want you here."

"You and I are both the same here, we want to demolish all of our pain and rid it of it's existence." 

"What are you talking about? I don't want any of that."

"That's what you think, but I know you much better than you know yourself." 

"Who the hell are you anyway? And what do you want from me?"

The windows started to rattle. 

"I am you, but better."

She felt her breathing start to become constricted.

"You are nothing like me, since I am the better version of you."

She put her hands to her throat, her eyes widened when she realized that she was choking herself. 

"I am you, but stronger. Now, Ai laik yu. And you are now me." (Now, I am you) 

Gasping for air, she tried with all of her willpower to move her hands away from her throat, but they clamped around the skin and her veins bulged.

"Accept that I am you, or else you will die right here!"

"No!" She gritted her teeth in another attempt to resist the force crushing her and doubled over. "I will never be like you...and you will never be like me!"

She fell to the carpeted ground and gasped out for the air that she missed for so long.

The rattling around her became louder. "You think that you can over come me, but you will never! This is not our final meeting! I will seek revenge on you, Clarke!"

A small pebble fell on her head, when she looked up she noticed quickly that the ceiling above her is starting to crumble. Flashes of red flicker in the area she's in. 

"Wake up!" Another voice tells her, "Don't resist what's coming!" 

Suddenly, a wave of tiredness crashed into her system. She collapsed on the ground and saw that everything was about to fall. Before she could do anything else the- 

She opened her eyes and sat up right.

Her heart started to pound once again, sweat swiftly trickled down her forehead.

But the presence of Lexa snoring made her nerves calm down.

She exhaled a long breath she kept in her lungs.

 _I'm safe. I'm at home._ She lets her eyes slowly take in Lexa's sleeping feature, her back was turned to her but she didn't mind it in the least.

_She's my home._ She smiled.

She snuggled up against her lover and buried her face against her nape. Inhaling all of her scent made her insides feel warm. She wrapped her arms around her lover's strong frame and pulled her closer, getting a small humming noise from Lexa in response.

"You alright," Lexa mumbles. Clarke moves some furs and starts to touch the fabric of her binder, getting a small shiver back.

"Yes, now that I'm with you." Clarke presses her lips against the back of her ear and whispers, "I just had a nightmare."

Lexa turns to face Clarke, her eyes showed concern for the blonde. "Are you okay? Do we need to talk about it?"

Clarke shakes her head and traces her thumb on Lexa's jawline. 

"No, it's okay." She says with reassurance, "I'm okay." 

"Are you sure?" _God this girl would be the death of her._

She pulls her dangerously close and lets her eyes wander to her lips. "I'm more than sure, now that I have you in my life." The brunette hums quietly in response when Clarke continues to gently stroke her cheek. They stayed like this for a little bit, studying each other's faces, noticing every little detail even though they loved everything about each other. 

"I could say the same thing for you." Lexa whispers back, breaking the beautiful silence between them. Her eyes flicker to her kissable lips and gently tugs her to herself. Clarke closes her eyes and sighs into the kiss, slowly combing through the brunettes hair. 

Lexa is her home, she always feels secure in the privacy of her arms. 

Her nightmare didn't matter anymore.

It was just a dream....

**Or so she thinks.**

* * *

"And here, Gaia, is why we must be willing to do anything for the commander. It is our duty to uphold the teachings of the past _Fleimkeipas,_ you remember the Pillars of Protecting the Flame, right?"

"Sha, seda." (teacher)

"Are you able to recite them?" 

"Yes seda, they are Preservation, Honor, and Rationality." 

"Correct, now follow me inside." 

The chipped wood of the entrance door showed that without proper care, the door rotted like an old piece of flesh. Titus put his hand on the knob, feeling the rusty texture of the metal before turning it slowly. He pulled it to the side and a waft of a thick breeze greeted his face, making him scrunch his nose when the dusty air tickled his nostrils. He turned to Gaia and motioned for her with his hand to go through first.

The daylight couldn't reach the room that is deep in the tower. Instead, it was the hanging dim lights above them that lit the columns of bookshelves. The lighting from above gave a very cozy feeling with it's orange and yellow hues that it emits, making sure that the darkness wouldn't consume the two individuals who were observing around. The Sacred Library of Polis is a well known secret; only people who had time to spare would go inside and explore various texts that were within these walls. In other words, rarely anyone would walk through the carpeted pathways and indulge in literature, or writing in any sense. 

Titus walks to a nearby bookshelf in a few strides, turning back to see if his apprentice is following him. He stops in place and lets his eyes wander at the shelves.

"Teacher, If I may ask," Gaia mutters behind him, "What are we doing in such an ancient place?"

He runs his finger through the different spines, his skin touching the texture of the various books. "Gaia, I want to show you a few things about our past that you should know of." His finger comes to a still to a thick book, it's spine is almost the size of his hand. He grabs the textbook and grunts in an effort to make sure that it doesn't fall on the floor. 

Now that there is lots of free time, Titus is able to assist his apprentice without the looming fear of possibly being assassinated. Thoughts of all kinds of stabbing used to always prick at his mind like an annoying thorn, making him toss and turn under his furs in the quietest of nights. Thankfully, Gaia helped him by being appreciative for his efforts to educate the flame keeper-in-training. To him, she isn't like the others at her age; an unproblematic child who is very observant on the sidelines, but has a busy mind filled with passion. Being the daughter of a renowned Trikru general made her a very disciplined child that is used to being ordered around without resisting back.

"Do you need assistance with that?"

"No, but thank you." 

He sets it down on a nearby table. Making eye contact with Gaia, he brushes off some excess dust that covers the faint words of the title. The apprentice opens her mouth in awe. "That-that's impossible, seda." She gently feels the hard cover of the textbook. "The ancient teachings from the Floukru clan. How were you able to find such a master piece? I've only heard stories of how this book is forbidden. Surely, I can't touch it-"

"There is nothing to worry about Gaia. This book is written by the leaders of the Floukru clan who documented their views of the world. Luna's parents were the last people to write in this book, that is why Queen Nia of Azgeda wanted their blood and this book."

He opens the book and flips through the writing with the younger flamekeeper silently gawking behind him. "This book is called Reaching Tranquility," He says knowing that Gaia saw the title, "It tells the readers how one is able to achieve inner peace. This book was forbidden when Sheidheda came into ruling and the Flamekeepers took it into custody. After he slaughtered his teachers, the leaders of Floukru broke into this library to take it back to their homeland. No one but some Azgeda and Trigeda scouts saw them escape with it. When Lexa _kom Trikru_ came into command, she went to their lands and took the book back in custody, swearing with a binding oath that she would keep this sacred text safe in these chambers." 

"Makes so much sense. No wonder..." 

"If Lexa didn't read this book, then Luna wouldn't have returned back to Polis."

Gaia frowns, "And why is that, seda?" 

"Lexa studied how the Boat People were able to attain true stability among themselves. They wore their hearts on their sleeves, showing compassion to each other and to even those who weren't their own. They were so peaceful that they even relieved their warriors of duty, knowing that no one could invade their lands since they lived so far away. She followed their ways of peace and practiced it in Polis with us." 

"So how did her ruling make Luna return?"

"She changed our ways, our teachings, and the system." He flips through the pages, his sight darting to find the right text. 

"The system..." Gaia puts her hand on his shoulder. "Our system, tell me more about how she was seen." 

"Lexa became a....radical figure and did drastic things that made us all question her sanity."

"She changed the system, right seda? Isn't she the one who rewrote it?"

"No," Titus says while still busying himself, **"She destroyed it."**

She wanted to say something, anything.

She always looked up to Lexa, even before she was scouted and taken to Polis. She knew that until the day the Commander's spirit successfully chose it's next heir, Gaia would use all of her will power to protect the flame. _Her_ flame. It was normal in the past for Commanders to become martyrs in war, dying in the crossfires of bloodbaths. But spirits forbid that Lexa would die young, she needed to stay as Heda. Otherwise the coalition would crumble like broken pottery. 

"Wouldn't that have broken the coalition?"

"No. She destroyed the system by creating it." 

"But what does Luna have to with any of this?"

Titus turns his head to Gaia. "She fled the conclave like the coward she is, swearing that she will never return back to Polis. She was too afraid to face Lexa not because she feared her, but that she was too afraid to kill another soul after her putting a blade through her brother." He looks back at the book and sighs. "Luna came back, a month ago after hearing all the good news from her ambassador, and of.....Wanheda. Now I need to find the right page to show you." 

The younger flamekeeper parted her lips, "Do you know the full story of Luna."

He swallows a lump in his throat and clenches his jaw, "Luna is a traitor to the bloodline." Gaia notes the anger in his tone and stays silent, but peers over his shoulder and notices an interesting line of text:

**Chapter 20: The Pillars to Preserving Peace**

**Blood must have blood should be abolished. People who are foolish enough to believe this only give in to their instincts and indulge in vengeance. This endless acts of vindictiveness truly shows how ruined some human beings are. They are the only people that go against the flow and the ways of nature.**

**Blood must not have blood, for so the cycle will end soon. ** ****

**Preservation, Honor, and Spirituality are the key.**

Gaia opens her mouth, "S-Seda...the flamekeepers changed it?"

Titus slammed the book shut, making Gaia flinch. "I'm sorry," He says, "You weren't supposed to read that part. Come on, there's a meeting with the Shadow Valley ambassador about a possible new natblida." He gets up from his seat and motions for Gaia to come to him again. She hesitates for a moment, but takes a final glance at the textbook and follows her teacher. 

* * *

After Echo recognized Costia, she almost threw up in her mouth and ran back to her quarters, with Ontari following suit to make sure that she actually didn't puke her insides out. When Ontari entered her room, she saw that a stool had been thrown across the room and quickly took note of her display of anger. 

"Are you okay?"

"What do you think, Ontari?" Echo snaps, "No I'm not okay. Is that what you want to hear?"

"I'm sorry if I'm trying to look out for you." Ontari huffs, "Fate seems to be really weird." 

"Are you fucking serious. You could've chosen any other general and you chose Anna the goddamn inexperienced 'Trikru general' " She put quotations at the last part. 

"I'm sorry I didn't know you had a history with that girl. I thought she was just another general in charge of our very fragile trade routes that as a matter of fact, need major repairs."

Echo presses the palm of her hands to her eyes, rubbing them slowly. "Just so you know," She then rubs her temples together in pure frustration, "It's a very, very, very long story."

"I have all day for you to tell me. After all," Ontari crosses her arms, "You stormed out of there before I had to follow suit." 

"Are you fucking kidding me? Of course I stormed out because you brought the girl I made out with to Azgeda?!"

"Woah, woah, woah, woah back it up there Echo," Ontari shakes her head, "You have a history together?" 

"No, I am not telling you-"

She sees Ontari's grin, "Fine. But you owe me big time." 

"What do I owe you? Humanity literally fought it's final battle." Ontari says, "What else do you want?" 

"For you to leave me alone. You're like the annoying little sister I never had-"

"Echo, at least I saved your ass from Queen Nia that one time she tried to burn all of your skin off," Ontari gets closer to Echo, "Otherwise you would be dead meat." She presses her finger on Echo's nose. She scrunches her face in response and pushes Ontari away but gets into her space.

"Oh I'm sorry, little miss natblida," Echo says, "Are you afraid that your mommy will make you fight in the conclave? Oh wait-"

Ontari smacks Echo across her cheek.

"Take that back, you idiot!" 

Echo grins at Ontari's fuming face while rubbing her red cheek, "Oh, boy did I got the princess mad about her dead, tyrannical, and oppressive mother?" 

"Godmother, actually. If she was my biological mother than I'd be mourning for her death, but I don't." 

"Huh, I knew better than that."

She sits down on her couch, motioning for Ontari to follow suit. "Anyways, it's a really, really stupid story."

Ontari sits down beside her and puts an evil grin. "Go on, spy, but don't give me explicit details."

_"Just because you said that I will."_

Ontari's face turns white for a second, "Just shut up and start talking."

"I thought you wanted me to talk to tell my story." Echo notices Ontari opening her mouth, "Careful little natblida, flies will surely fly into your mouth soon." She sees her scowling and decides to not push it any further. "So...you know that one time I went on a search party to find Luna?" 

"Yeah? I know you didn't fight her cause you were 'too afraid'-"

"It happened before I encountered her. Like way before that."

"How long ago?"

"Almost two months ago, your god mother didn't tell you this but I went on a secret search party and I ended up in Polis. There were rumours that she stormed into the palace to find Lexa, but those were quickly shot down by Amba, her ambassador and says that she still stayed with her people at home. I saw Costia in a crowd of people, and I had this feeling that I wanted to get to know her. She knew that I was from Azgeda, but she and I talked for a bit and then we..." Echo avoids eye contact with Ontari for a second. 

"-you did the thing?" Ontari gestures with her fingers together. " **The sha-bang?** "

"NO!" Echo shouts, her face turns a deep red. "Ontari no! We didn't go that far-"

"That far, huh?" Ontari playfully hits Echo's shoulder, "What happened?"

"We ended up at her quarters in Polis," Echo says, "And then we got caught." 

"Did Luna catch you?" Ontari quirks her brow, "Did one of the flamekeepers catch you?" 

"No," Echo shakes her head. **"The Commander did."**

Ontari looks at her for a few seconds, not knowing how to respond. Suddenly, she bursts out laughing. "Oh my god!" She snorts. "I can't believe-I can't believe that the Commander of the now-Thirteen Clans caught you that day-" She slaps the couch cushion and kept wheezing. She looked to see if Echo was laughing with her, but she just looked very ashamed. 

"Wait, what else happened?" Ontari's smile is wiped off her face.

"The worst part is that Costia was engaged to Lexa, and she didn't tell me." 

"Holy shit." Ontari opens her mouth, "You're always stuck in the crossfires."

"Shut up. I know it's horrible. I almost pissed myself when I saw Lexa glaring daggers at Costia, so I ran." 

"Who would've known that the assassin/spy would be shitting her pants." She teases, "Is there anything else?"

_"Luna was there."_

"Oh this just keeps getting better!" Ontari chuckles, "God now I can imagine how that would've went down." 

"Do you not understand?" Echo says, "Costia's an imposter, you imbecile. She will soon do some random unexpected shit once she gets hold of our trade routes. We can't trust her."

"You're right." Ontari nods her head in agreement, "I'll have her kicked out as soon as possible." 

"I'm going to take a walk. I need a break from everything."

_"Is this because of Costia?"_

"It's because of Wanheda beating the shit out of me _and_ Costia coming to Azgeda. I just had enough shock to last me awhile. Goodbye."

With that, Echo gets up and exits her quarters, leaving Ontari shocked at Echo's sudden decision. 

Maybe a break for the ex-assassin wouldn't be so bad after all.

* * *

The flame keeper couldn't help it. She wanted to know more about the teachings of the Boat People. 

She never truly knew what peace was like, that is until Lexa united the thirteen clans together.

At Polis she remembered the countless outbursts and protests she had to endure at Titus's side since she was recruited by him to become a Flamekeeper for the newly risen Commander. She now realized why she met with the older Flamekeepers in the old library; she was trying to pass on and convince them that the Boat People knew how to reach tranquility, and thus, why they should completely change their customs in order to do so.

After enduring the ugly bits right in the heart of the capital, they managed to unite the twelve clans, and Luna finally returned a year after doing so. They were at peak optimal, until the day the clans realized that Azgeda was dangerously close to Tondc, the capital of the Trikru lands.

Gaia remembered the day after the metal from the sky hit the ground, it killed the warriors that were going to attack, although there were also some causalities that were Trigeda as well. She deciphered it as an omen sent from the commander's in the heavens, when she told the other flamekeepers this, they thought she was right and told the commander of this.

When some word spread that there were sightings of a girl rising from the metal, they called her Wanheda. Since the news spread to the capital like wildfire, the commander immediately sent Lincoln, the top Trikru scout bring her to Tondc so that she could meet her face to face. Gaia couldn't believe that the commander and the commander of death were able to get along with one another, since she feared that Wanheda would try to kill her like how she did with the Azgeda warriors. 

From a young age, Gaia was raised by her father and grew up in the forests. Her mother tried to make time for her, but always found herself entangled in peace treaties, war meetings, summits, and in the bloodbaths that war had bred.

She lived a different life but still felt like a normal child, having a parental figure at the time made her feel grateful since others weren't as fortunate. Her father always taught her to show gratitude to everyone and herself, his ways of guiding her through life made her lucky, that is until the day she saw him get killed. 

She repressed those horrible memories and entered the library. She took a quick glance behind her to see if she was followed and shut the chipped door behind her. The orange hues from above greeted her with warm as she looked through the shelves to see if Titus put the textbook back in a random place.

But when she saw the table, she remembered that Titus didn't bother putting it away. She looked toward the entrance again, double checking to see if anyone saw her up on her but found no one.

She sat down with the book in front of her, and took a deep breath. She opened the hard cover and flipped through the pages:

**Chapter 19: Sheidheda, and why we should be Destroying the System.**

**Sheidheda is the prime example of the violence that has plagued us all. He is the reason why everyone feels hopeless toward finding our own inner peace without being threatened by war, famine, and death at our doorsteps. We hope that he will have a taste of his own medicine, dying in the crossfires of war that he has caused, bleeding out like how he has done by torturing others. He let his inner violence take control of him, for so if he didn't, the next heir wouldn't have to carry the burden of his actions since he has destroyed the image of a commander. When he leaves this earth, no one will miss him, only his blind followers will. The Leaders of the Boat People speak on behalf of all of the clans, and we say that he shall perish in his demise.**

She lowers her eyes to see more text:

**Blood must have blood is a folly concept. It should be blood must not have blood, and I urge the commander and the Flamekeepers to keep talking about this because if you open your eyes and see how we deal with crimes, it's disappointing and awful. The eye for an eye concept works most of the time, but not in a literal sense.** **We need to do better punishments instead of executions, for so if the killer murdered their victim on purpose, they should hang their heads in shame for it and be imprisoned, rather than having more blood spilled for it.**

 **The victim would most likely not want the killer to be executed in the same way they did, since it reminds that society that by being ruthless, you must react by being ruthless back rather than ignoring your impulses and being rational. Thus, is why we should institutionalize blood must not have blood. ** ****

She turned the next page, and found the chapter: 

**Chapter 20: The Pillars to Preserving Peace (Plus Destroying the System continued from Ch. 19)**

**Blood must have blood should be abolished. People who are foolish enough to believe this is the only way, give in to their instincts and indulge in vengeance. This endless acts of vindictiveness truly shows how ruined some human beings are. They are the only people that go against the flow and the ways of nature.**

**Blood must not have blood, for so the cycle will end soon. ** ****

**Preservation, Honor, and Spirituality are the key.** ****

**The Flamekeepers should adopt this in order to help educate the next commander, for so the only way to defeat the ignorance is with information. By instilling this, they shall be able to properly honor the flame.**

**Preserve - To start off, to preserve is to maintain (something) in it's original state. With that being said, by being able to safely guard the flame and visit the past commanders, they should be able to talk to them and make sure that their spirits don't pressure the new commander into doing bad deeds, or end up like Sheidheda. By doing maintain the new commander without altering the flame's state, it pushes us in the right direction by educating the past about the present.**

**Honor - By allowing the commander to do things without disapproving of them, you show your high regards and respect for them. By honoring the commander and letting them make (Ethical, peaceful) ideas puts them in great esteem and confidence.**

~~**Spirituality - By being one with peace, one is able to fix their mindset. By putting your faith and allowing the spirits to guide the commander, you are allowing them to connect with the flame. When they die, be sure to honor their lives and see what they have done to pave a path toward a better future for humanity. If they die for their cause, honor them. Don't try to intervene too much in their path, and let them push their agenda (if it's right and ethical) toward the twelve clans. Let their fate, and faith guide them toward the right path.**~~ Rationality - Let the commander do what they think is best, then correct them if they are going too far. You can honor them, but don't be afraid to step up whenever they get severe criticism from their subjects. Try to reason with them, and be sure that they don't die while trying to push for a new cause. Protect their lives even if it means that you must go against their ideals. 

"It's new ink," She says out loud, "Someone must have crossed it out and changed it-"

"Gaia, why are you reading that," The flamekeeper quickly up to see Titus scowling at her. "I told you that you can't look at that part."

"Why seda," Gaia shuts the book and rises from her seat. "I learned so much about them, and why you decided to change it."

"Why do you accuse me of such things, don't you know be-"

"I know that ink looks fresh, and you are the only living flamekeeper that goes to this library." Gaia interrupts, knowing that she shouldn't have, "Were you afraid that pushing toward peace is such an abstract concept? How many commanders have you convinced that blood must have blood, instead of blood must not have blood?"

She pushes her chair back and walks around the table to be face to face with her teacher. 

"You know too much, Gaia," Titus says, "I can't let you into this library anymore."

"But why, seda?" Gaia pleads, "I was just curious about Floukru's peaceful ways." 

"It's my say so, and I am doing this just to protect you!" He shouts.

Gaia flinches back at those words, but dips her head. "I'm sorry, seda. You're right. I know how much you want me to flourish and serve Lexa." 

"I'm sorry I yelled, my apprentice." He dips his head as well, "But I came here to give you a mission, and I know the other flamekeepers would fail it."

"What is it?"

"I want you..." He lowers his voice, "To find Madi _kom Louwoda Klironkru_." (Shadow Valley)

Gaia frowns, "Didn't her parents not want her in the conclave."

"Yes," Titus nods, "But her parents were murdered, and she's in hiding. I want you to find her and bring her here before it's too late." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note to everything that's going on: Clarke Griffin is not Eliza Taylor. Bellamy Blake is not Bob Morley.


	17. Shifting Tides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of blood in the last scene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Old note: Thank you all for 3,000+ hits!)  
> I noticed the amount of progression I have made since chapter 1.

_"It's been days after we talked about Clarke Griffin and we need to talk about it now."_

_After the session with the girl, they had come to an agreement to put her as a test subject in the Exodus project instead of floating her on her eighteenth birthday. Of course before they came to that decision, rumors were spread about floating her and there were some minor outbursts. Thankfully, the council members convinced Jaha to not send Shumway and his guards to arrest or kill anyone._

_They just were in a council meeting, and the Chancellor dismissed everyone but Marcus Kane._

_"Yes, I know. she's important. But I wanted to stay and try this out."_

_Jaha pulls a little object out of his pocket. Marcus narrows his eyes in an attempt to see what he's holding._ _"It's an electronic chip that will connect you to true spirituality."_

_Kane frowned. Every time Jaha would always push his requests away for another time, and now, after discussing the fate of a heated topic, he wanted him to take a chip to ease himself?_

_He internally believes that Jaha was only doing this as a professional way to calm him down and shut his mouth._

_"Spirituality?" Kane gestures to small thing in Jaha's hand, "There's no way I'm taking that damn thing. That is just an easy way out. You know better than this."_

_Jaha shakes his head. "This isn't an easy way out, Marcus," He holds the object in between his fingers, noticing that the light in the room reflected it to be a blue shade." **This is the only way out.”**_

_"What do you mean by that huh? Are you out of your mind?" Kane raises his voice slightly, "Even if this chip **is** the way out, it isn't the way to resolve things. You may think it's the only path out but it isn't the right one." _

_Jaha remains neutral. "You've suffered for so long, Marcus Kane. " Jaha closes his hand on the object, and looks at his friend. "You watched your mother die in the bombs, and I know you felt that pain-”_

_Kane shoves him backwards, "Don't you dare bring my mother into this!"_

_"I'm just simply trying to sympathize for you," He calmly replies, taking note of Kane's anger. "for I can see your sadness through your eyes. You wear your heart on your sleeve."_

_"You think your just a savior, but you're not." Kane inches closer to his face, his hot breath touching Jaha's skin. " You think you're the hero and the main character trying to carry the weight of the Ark on your back but you're the opposite of that. You sit back as the Chancellor and let the guards and the working citizens do the dirty work for you." _

_Jaha shakes his head. "You can't fight fire with fire. Stop trying to think you can win this argument and take the chip. Don't resist."_

_"How did you do it?"_

_"Do what?"_

_"What made you take the chip?"_

_"You miss one hundred percent of the shots that you don't take, Marcus." Jaha says. When Kane doesn't respond he continues by saying, "Becca Pramheda visited our station and told us about how this would help take the pain away after seeing the whole world get destroyed by the bombs. We all still grieve for the situation that we are in, Marcus. I have taken it and it works like how she said it would."_

_"And now what," Kane glares. "Are you going to make the entire Ark Station take the chip?" Resisting the want to walk away, he crosses his arms and buries all of his urges to shout at the chancellor for being insane._

_"It is not about making them take it. They can decide for themselves whether they want to live bearing the weight of their trauma, or let the chip guide them to a better, painless path."_

_That is when Kane realizes he's has had enough. "Where is the rational Thelonius that I know of? Where has he gone?" _

_"I am not dead, I am just more enlightened.....You can put it that I have had an awakening for myself, some reflection, per say."_

_"Just let me go and we can talk this out."_

_"I will unfortunately not be letting you go unless you take the chip."_

_"I'm said it before," Kane balls up his fists, "I'm not taking that damn chip."_

_"I guess were going to have to do it the hard way then."_

_"What does that mean?" When Jaha doesn't respond, Kane gets even more confused. "Hey, talk to me-"_

_Suddenly, the door burst open and some guards came inside. Kane is about to ask them to leave them until they pin his arms behind his back. Something clicks in his head and he says,_ _"Thelonius you got them to take it too-"_

_"This doesn't have to be this way, you know that Marcus." Jaha interrupts, "I am going to repeat myself again, take the chip."_

_"No," He grunts,"Never."_

_Jaha nods at one of the guards that isn't holding Kane in place, and their fist collides with his cheek._

_"Take the chip."_

_"He shuts his eyes for a second before responding, "Go float yourself."_

_The guard smacks him across the jaw. Before he could respond to Jaha, he receives a heavy kick to the stomach, taking the breath out of him. His ragged breathing indicated that the guards were going to have no mercy against him._

_"You see, when you take this chip. You won't be able to feel any more pain. No more suffering, no more torture." He opens his hand for Kane to see the chip again. "You are one with the chip, for so it takes you to the City of Light."_

_"You've gone insane, Thelonius. The City of Light? What a horrible concept-"_

_The guard brutally crashes his foot into his groin, making him shout in response._

_"Ah!" He pants, "Stop!"_

_The guard smashes his jaw once again. Blood started to flow rapidly down his mouth._

_"I SAID STOP IT!"_

_"This will only stop if you take this chip." He moves the object up close for Kane to see the details of it._

_"Do it now, or else I will do it to the others."_

_"No!"_

_The guards that were holding him started to twist his arms._

_"Fine! Fine!" He shouts in pain,"I'll take the chip! Just leave everyone else alone!" _

_Jaha smiles and gently puts the chip in his mouth._

_"You made a wise choice there, Marcus. The City of Light awaits your presence."_

* * *

  
  


"I respectfully disagree, I believe that Sangeda is able to do fine on it's own. We don't need help with our crops."

  
"Thanks for letting us know, we were just trying to see if anyone else was struggling in terms of agriculture," Amba says. "The Boat People are more than happy to help." 

“At least you don’t live in the freezing cold.” The Ice Nation ambassador adds from his chair, “But the negotiations with Trikru and our trade routes is going quite well. Thanks to the generals Anya and Indra.” He claps his hands together, and dips his head toward the dirty blonde standing to the right of the commander's throne. 

"Anytime ambassador. You needed some rest after almost dying in the forests." Anya teases. The ambassador emits a chuckle in response. He shifts in his seat slowly so that his bad shoulder would be able to adjust properly in his new position. 

”Before we close up this summit. I would like to meet Ontari kom Azgeda in her palace so that we can further discuss her reign after the war. I will like to talk about her terms of ruling after Queen Nia's fall." The commander makes eye contact with the Ice Nation ambassador.

”At your service Commander." He dips his head. "I am leaving Polis by next sunset, so you’re welcome to join me then.” 

"I guess that's all for today." The commander gets up from her throne to address everyone. "This summit has come to an end. As always, you are welcome to stay in Polis for as long as you would like before heading home and preparing for the festivities next month here in the capital." Lexa says warmly.

"Now that we don't have to worry about any incoming threats, we are all at peace with each other so this festival will be special. Take your time to prepare, if you need me, let me know before I set off to Azgeda tomorrow."

The rest of the ambassadors and generals all trickled out of the throne room.

_But as always, Titus is still there._

"Are you sure you want to go to Azgeda... _alone_?" He asks with concern. 

The commander shakes her head, "No, I won't. I'm going to make sure that Gustus and Indra will be able to assist me. I might invite Luna to join me as well. After all, she had the skills to quickly take down warriors in seconds." 

"Who will keep in charge of Polis when you are gone, Heda?"

"You and Anya will. And if Luna stays, she will watch over the capital with you two while I am gone." 

"Sha, Heda. I have sent my apprentice Gaia to do other duties outside of Polis. Do you need anything else while I train the natblidas here?" 

"No, _mochof_. I'm going to meditate before heading to Clarke's old quarters." (thank you)

"Gaia should be back by in a few night falls. If anything goes wrong I'll send word to you if she doesn't return."

* * *

The evening sun greeted the horizon, lighting the city with it's warm rays cast upon them. From Clarke's view it looked spectacular, but it was the last thing on her mind. 

Clarke was lying down on a couch. Yes, the same couch where she slit herself that night a few months ago. She hasn't come to her old quarters for a while now, but she wanted Lexa to talk with her without being interrupted by anyone, so that's why she didn't go to their shared room.

Lexa was now a bit more occupied and spent significantly less time with her during the daylight hours, due to how important it was to make amends with the Azgedans after the end of Queen Nia's reign. Additionally, she oversaw how her own generals were doing, while ensuring the natblidas safety.

There had been a small quarrel between Sangeda and Shadow Valley over the natblida who refused to enter the conclave. Sangeda's stance was more traditional and wanted her to enter regardless if she wanted to or not, but Shadow Valley has been more progressive, saying that it was her choice and that Lexa is more understanding if she chose not to enter it. So it took a little while to make sure both sides weren't going to start more unnecessary conflict.

None of them knew that Titus sent Gaia to make sure that she didn't get kidnapped or killed. 

Clarke sat in the room for awhile, ignoring the uneasiness that made her stomach feel weird. When she got news that Lexa is going to Azgeda, her mind started to race at a mile a minute, thinking about all the possible dangers and outcomes that could happen to her loved on. She wanted to tell Lexa everything at first, but realized that she is the commander; she had other things to worry about other than herself. She didn't want to come off as selfish and ignored all the possible urges to just tell the twelve other clans to leave her alone. Clarke knew that Lexa could sense her unusual self and gave her space, as always. 

Her feet were tapping the edge of the couch in a rhythmic beat, trying to create some sort of entertainment in order to shoo away her boredom and nervousness. When she thought she heard a tap at the door, her head spun in that direction, her breath went still. 

The seconds that went by were minutes. 

Impatience started to creep it's way into her head, she adjusted herself to sit up right. Clarke managed to busy herself once again by tapping the floor with her feet, continuing the beat she made earlier while lying down. _When is she coming? Is she even coming? Does she care? Is there more conflict? Oh no, what if something happened to her?_

Clarke's mind started to race again, she internally panicking thinking of all the bad outcomes until one of the doors to the entrance opened. The combined smell of sweat, honey, and wood filled the room when she saw Lexa. Her cheeks were flushed red, sweat trickled down her face, and her breathing was irregular. She wore some warpaint and a training uniform. From the salty drops of water trickling down to her chin, she thought Lexa looked worn out from training her natblida's, but the look in her eyes showed that she was on alert. 

"Clarke?" She walks to where Clarke is, but doesn't sit down with her just yet.

"Lexa, I'm scared." 

"Why are you scared?" Lexa props herself down beside her. Clarke avoids her gaze and looks down at the ground. She feels an hand on her shoulder. "Clarke, please talk to me." 

Clarke shifts her gaze to meet Lexa. "It's just that....we haven't been apart ever since the war ended." 

Lexa pats her. "Hey, It's going to be okay. I am sure of it. Gustus, Indra, and some of my most trusted warriors will be with me while I am gone. Please don't worry."

"I can't stop worrying," Clarke confesses. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"Me too Clarke. The visit will only be for a few days. I just need to discuss with her about how she will rule, and then I'll be back before you know it." 

Clarke sighs. She didn't realize how stiff and uneasy she had been until she let herself relax against the brunette. Her head feel heavy when Lexa decides to move. she shifts so that her face doesn't fall on the couch.

She sees Lexa standing in front of her. Her hand was offered, and she took it. She led them to the center of the room in a few strides. The brunette interlaced their fingers together, lightly stroking her fingers with her own. 

"Is there anything else you want to talk about?" She asks with a soft voice. 

Clarke lets her eyes wander to her soft lips. She really wanted to press up against her and kiss all of worries away, but shuddered at the thought of it. She knew that Lexa was curious about her nightmares she's been happening ever since she landed.

Raven was right, she always was. Lexa would care for her until the day she died (And then when they would meet again in the afterlife) 

"It's..." She looked down. "I've just wanted to say, thank you." 

Lexa bites her lip. "For what?" 

"For taking care of me, for putting up with me, for being there for me. You're the only one who knows my pain." 

Lexa is about to respond when Clarke moves, without doubting herself, and hugs her. She engulfs into Lexa’s strong and warm frame. She lets her cheek rest against her neck, and her nose takes in the mixed smells that filled the room earlier. She didn’t know why she smelled honey, along with a musk of something she couldn’t quite figure out.

Lexa, that’s what it smelled like. She laced her hands around her lower back, feeling some of the armor along the way.  
  
Lexa, who is used to her hugs, is always caught off her guard whenever Clarke would do something like this. She hasn’t done so since the night she was talking to...Raven? She barely heard the rest of her conversation, but didn’t doubt that Raven was visiting her from heaven. Her belief in the flame and in her lover made that Clarke wasn’t going mad.

The brunette rests against her embrace. Not knowing what to do next, she decides to wrap her arms around the blond’s shoulders and pull her even closer than before. She tilts her head so that she can smell all of Clarke's hypnotizing scent. 

Both of them stayed like this for the time being, not caring how much time went by. Until, Clarke slightly moves her head back so that they're face to face. Lexa took the time to move a few strands of hair out of Clarke's face, smiling at how beautiful the blonde is from up close. 

"What are you so happy about?"  
  


"Nothing, I'm glad we're together. I was worried about you for a bit." 

Clarke chuckles, "I felt weird, but now I'm okay. I just needed this." 

"What? The hug? I can hug you anytime." Lexa says with a grin.

"Aww, you're too sweet." 

"Like candy?" 

"No, I get tired of candies."

Lexa's smile fades away, wondering what Clarke meant by that.

The blonde notices this and says, "But I can never get tired of you." 

They got closer so that their foreheads are together, breathing each other while in a quiet world of their own. 

"I can't lose you, you know that right?" Clarke whispers. 

"You won't you will always have me." 

Lexa shut her eyes and continued to breath slowly. Her eyes shot open when she heard a sniff from the blonde, she saw a tear drop falling down her face. 

"Clarke?" She cups her cheek, using her thumb to brush away the tear. "I promise you, I will always be with you." 

"But Lexa-" 

Clarke wasn't able to finish what she was saying when Lexa pressed their lips together. The brunette had one hand on her hip, and another at her nape. Clarke's eyes were wide in trying to process what just happened, but she kissed back. Clarke slowly ran her fingers in the brunette's light chocolate hair, gently digging inside to show that they weren't in a rush.

Clarke's heart was thumping against her chest, her ear drums roared at the rush of adrenaline coursing through her body. Her hands snaked their way to her biceps and teasingly stroked them, getting a small whimper in response. She never got tired of the wilderness, and loved every moment they were sharing together. Lexa used this time to explore more of Clarke's mouth, and the blonde muffled a sound that made the brunette light headed. Any rational thoughts they normally had were out of the question here. 

Lexa's heart almost skipped a beat when the blonde started to slowly unbuckle her straps to her training armor. The blond licked her tongue across the bottom of her lips and she allowed Clarke access inside her mouth. It was an overwhelming feeling that threatened to make her brain malfunction.

Clarke is the ocean, and she was the earth that is surrounded by her. She tasted all of the water that crashed against her cliffs. The brunette decided that she wanted more of Clarke; she needed to dive deeper into the mysterious and thrilling abyss.

Clarke parts only to take off the armor on the brunette's chest, knowing that she wanted to feel more of her. Her face is flushed red and her breathing a bit heavy from their make out session.

Thoughts of them making love for the first time were entering her brain, but Lexa took her mind out of the gutter. She pulls back in fear of it and noticed that Clarke paused with undressing her. 

"How far do you want to go with this?" Lexa asks. 

"I just want to feel you, Lexa. I haven't done this in awhile." Clarke responds, "Is that okay with you?" 

When Lexa gives a ghost of a nod, Clarke takes off the brunette's top, leaving her in a binder. Her defined and sculpted upper body made Clarke part her lips in awe. Her eyes undressed her very slowly, grazing over the defined muscles, toned abs, and broad shoulders. She internally thanked the heavens for creating such a masterpiece of a person, because Lexa is just....

...Is just....

....amazing....

..........

Clarke grabs Lexa's hands and walks backwards to the couch. Lexa gently guides her to the seat, waiting for what Clarke will do next.

"Clarke..." She whispers. 

The blond pulls in her for another kiss. She lets her hands go to the back of the brunette's neck, and feels all of her mane. She emits a groan when Lexa tilts her head to the side and tastes more of Clarke's skin. She nibbled at her jaw before going to her neck. Clarke breathes heavily and tangles her fingers in hair when she feels her tongue make contact with her skin. She tries her hardest not to emit any groans of pleasure, but Lexa made it so challenging. 

"Lexa..." Clarke groans. She contracted at Lexa’s wet kisses and tangled her fingers deep into her hair. Her senses were starting to overstimulate her the more the brunette touched her skin. She shifts so that she's horizontal on the couch with Lexa on top of her. This give her a chance to take a breather; her face is flushed and her pupils are blown. 

They both stare at each other, trying to read if the other is going to make a move. 

Clarke suddenly tenses up and says, "We should do this when we're both not occupied with other things." She became worried that she would disappoint her lover. _What if she wanted her and got mad that they wouldn't do it now? Did I do something wrong? Is she going to leave me-_

"I'll give you all the time in the world, Clarke." Lexa gives a wide grin, "I'm ready when you're ready." 

* * *

"....hello...."

".......i....want..."

"....show....some..."

".....please....."

".....where...."

"......city....of..."

".....hot....region...."

"Anya!"

She woke to someone shaking her violently.

"Raven?" She recognizes the person, "What are you doing in my mind?"

"We are not in your mind. I didn't go through the dream portals. I was going to pay you a visit but it appears you're unconscious already, so why wait?"

She is in the same dark hallway that she had been the first time she met the mechanic.

 _Why am I back here again?_ She takes a look around to see if anyone else is here, but saw no one. Then, she realizes she has to respond to the impatient brunette. 

"I'm taking a nap. I had a long day."

Raven smirks, "I could tell?" 

"How can you tell?"

_"Well when I entered your mind space, I could feel the air flow being not as inconsistent compared to normal air density, the particles were more condensed together. In simple terms, it means that you seemed distressed or exhausted."_

Anya pursed her lips in thought, trying to piece together what she meant by that, but found no luck in doing so. "Well, yeah. I have to overlook training the Polis warriors to not kill each other, and I have to train them in case something unexpected happens."

She sighs, "Even though we have managed to destroy our biggest enemy, Queen Nia and her followers, we still have some minor threats."

Raven pouts her lips. "Didn't you guys win the war? Why do you seem so distressed?"

"I just like how everything is right now, and I want to fight to keep it this way, even if it means that I exhaust myself to do so." Anya clenches her fists together, remembering all of the unnecessary stresses that entered her mind. Water vapor starts to fill the room with it's condensed smell, signaling to Raven that she was getting distressed. The mechanic grabs Anya's fists and pried her fingers apart to take out the tension she created. 

"It must be hard being the commander's second. As an engineer on the Ark station who has to meet a lot of demands, I have to try to maintain everything, and make sure that nothing horrible happens when I do tasks cause there are lives on the line. Simple repairs that, if aren't fixed, can lead to loss of oxygen to thousands of people. So yes, I know how you feel to carry the weight of hundreds on your shoulders." 

Anya's eyes glint with a hint of joy at her friend's empathy. She can't help but feel so glad that someone, other than Lexa, finally knew what she sometimes went through and- 

"Wait, you smile? I thought you were just stone cold."

Anya crosses her arms and says, "Do you want me to go back to frowning?" 

"No, it's just I like it when you're happy." 

"Your company makes me happy."

Raven gives her a wide grin in response. "Aww you're so cheesy cheekbones."

"Cheek what?"

"Cheekbones." Raven repeats, "Because your jawline is so sharp that I can see your cheekbones from here." 

"Uhmm...okay?"

"Come on. I didn't come all the way from the City of Light just to annoy you."

_"Well you just did."_

She grins at Raven's annoyed face and asks, "Why are we here in this dark hall way again?"

  
_"Uhm, I was trying to check up on Clarke's mind but all I could smell was wood and honey. The room of her mind space felt overwhelming, so I guess that she was doing stuff with....."_

"Great. No more further information." Anya halts her from speaking anymore, "Why did you want to visit me?" 

Raven offers her hand. "Just hold it." 

Anya hesitates, but grabs it. "Where are we going?"

"We're going up." 

"Wait what-"

_ "Below heaven. City of Light."  _

\--

Anya didn't know what to expect when Raven told her about the City of Light.

But the city was very urban and a lot more advanced than Polis ever was. There were tall buildings in an grid-like pattern. Some of them looked like they could touch the end of the sky, they were smudged by the light gray fog hovering high above them.

There were no birds in sight here, but in Polis there would be a few of them perched up on some balconies to look over the capital. She noticed the metal vehicles that transported people were moving in an orderly way, dictated by the green and red lights hanging above them.

"We're here." Raven snaps her out of her trance, "Keep holding my hand." 

She moved her way along with the brunette in the bustling crowds. She could only see a blur of packs, coats, and different skin tones. She felt something brush against her back that wasn't too heavy, so she assumed it was just another hurried human trying to get somewhere. When they seem to have parted their way from the crowds, she faces Raven. 

"Where are we going?" She asks.

Raven grips her hand tighter. "Don't let go of my hand, otherwise you'll go back to Earth."

She wants to ask what she meant by that, but lets Raven guide her. They cross the street and appear in front of a park that's surrounded by city buildings. It seems to be the only green piece of land in a sea of grey-like colors. They stand in front of the park's entrance, listening to the combined noises of people chatting down the other sidewalks and the birds perched on the trees nearby them. 

"Wow, this is all so beautiful." She glances upward at the buildings circling them, lips parted in astonishment. "Where are we Raven?" 

"We are in the City of Light. It's complicated to explain but-"

"As long as your holding my hand, you can explain, right?" She teases, "I take long naps so you don't have to worry." 

"Okay, so you know how I told you about the A.I-I mean the machine/robot that took over the Ark Station?"

Anya nods. 

"Well, the way that they infected people is that they would tell them to take an electronic chip that could take away all of their pain; it reroutes the nerves in the nervous system so that if we get pain, the brain can't register it properly. It uploads our minds into the City of Light, so that when we die we end up here. Although I didn't take the chip, the flame managed to break a loophole to the heavens so that people can visit. However, we can still feel pain here, and if we get killed in any sort of way, we go back to heaven."

"Makes more sense....but why can't you just travel from heaven?" 

"Even though you can travel back to Earth from heaven, there is a massive chance that they won't be able to see you. The City of Light allows us to become visible to mortal people's eyes since we can travel through mind spaces, and their brains can register other signs of consciousness when we come down to them via dream portals."

"I'm trying to make more sense of it. I've heard of dream portals before from you, but can you explain more?" 

"Okay, so there's two ways to visit people from here when you die. There's the dream portals, which means that you are able to get to them in your sleep, but can only see their mind space. The second way is Teleportation Hubs, in which you are able to visit them when they are awake, but they are the only ones who can see you. So if they introduce someone to you, you can't see them unless you tag them?"

Anya frowns, "Tag them?"

"Like stab them with a USB, or weapon that has a router that is connected to the City of Light." She pulls out the small electronic object for Anya to see. 

"Huh, I....kind of get it? But I don't as well." She says, "Skaikru people are strange with their tek." 

"Yeah, we are." Raven admits, "Becca Pramheda invented the robot that took over our station." 

"Pramheda?" Anya's eyes go wide, "That's the first commander!"

"Wait what? She was your first commander?"

"Yes, that's so strange. I didn't even know that she's from Skaikru, I'm going to inform Lexa about this." 

"How's Clexa by the way?"

"What?"

"I said how is Clexa." 

Anya tilts her head like a curious puppy, "You combined their names together." 

"Yeah of course, genius," Raven playfully rolls her eyes, "because we call it a ship name: Clarke and Lexa is Clexa. If you and me were together we would be Ranya-"

"Skaikru terms are weird." Anya sighs. She let's go of Raven's hand and stretches. "I'm a bit sore from training today."

Raven immediately gasps, and that is when Anya realizes her mistake. 

"Oh no-" 

"Wait- Anya!" Raven shouts before-

Anya doesn't go away or materialize with the air.

Raven scrunches her brow in utter confusion. "What? Impossible. People usually disappear the second their hand let's go." She doesn't bother to grab Anya's hand again, "Something is up here. That's so strange." 

Right when she said that, the sky started to shift red. The whole city got engulfed in the sudden change of color. 

"What is happening?" Anya glances up, "Does the sky normally change color here?"

"Yes, but not this quickly." Raven pulls out her communication device (walki-talki), "Sinclair, did you notice the sky?"

_"Yes,"_ The voice replies, _"I think there's a malfunction somewhere. Where are you?"_

"I'm at the park. It's not in A.L.I.E.'s hotspot regions." 

_"I know that, but-"_

_"Holy cow."_

"What's going on?" 

_"Are you with someone right now who's from Earth?"_

"Yes, her name is Anya. Why? Is she interfering with the connection frequencies?" She turns to look at Anya.

 _"No, that's the strange part."_ Sinclair says, _"In Uptown there's a loophole, but it's not a Teleportation Hub. I've been trying to fix with on my computer since it's connected to the infrastructure of the City, but It's really hard to break into."_

_"Get Monty to help you-"_

They hear a rumbling noise.

Raven gets frantic and internally panics. "Try to explain what's happening and I'll be there. Anya is going to wake up soon anyways so I'll teleport her back to Earth." 

Anya grabs her hand. "Raven, I don't feel sleepy, and that's strange cause I usually fall asleep to red lights telling me to wake up." 

"I know, that's the weird part as well. I'm still trying to figure it out-"

_"Raven, are you there?"_

"Yes, did you find out what's going on?'

_"Yes, but It's overwhelming my laptop and some of the servers online."_

"Just tell us." 

_"The City of Light is malfunctioning since it's trying to **update** or **upload** something. Usually when it undergoes this, the servers are stable. I'm still not sure what it is trying to upload, but it's **something large.** Your friend needs to get back down to Earth so that it can concentrate on trying to stabilize itself." _

  
"Got it." Raven turns to Anya. "I'm sorry but he's right. I have to fix this. I promise that I'll visit you when you're dreaming." 

Anya opened her mouth to protest, but held it back and nodded. "It's fine, Raven." She gives a small smile, "I have no idea what's going on, but I get it. Take me down to Earth." 

Raven nods, knowing that it was the better thing to do in order to figure everything out. She put her hand on the general's chest and takes a deep breath.

"Anya, Lexa's Second. Earth. North America. Polis. Launch." 

After her friend is sent down, she looks up at the sky again and puts the walky-talky close to her mouth. 

"Sinclair, I'm coming to you. Be there in a few" 

_"Roger that, mechanic."_

* * *

Costia's demands were too much to handle. First, she demanded that most of the trade routes under Azgeda ruling should be under her supervision. Second, she wanted to cut off some trading posts that were on the border in order to not 'intimidate Trikru warriors', which was complete and utter nonsense since those areas got the most supplies (Like Niylah's) And Finally, whenever she stopped by, she wanted Ontari's presence all the time. It bugged the new queen and driven her to a point of madness, so she wanted to do what was best and made the decision to confront her about it the next time they met.

Her footsteps echoed throughout the desolate hallways, the slight taps bounced around the palace walls, reminding her that she needed to find out where some of her guards went. She was so caught up in her thoughts that she ran into the doors to the throne room. 

"Ugh," She huffs, her cheeks red with embarrassment, "Get it together, Ontari." 

She looks at the polished doorknobs, noticing her distorted reflection in the shiny copper material. She sighs. _This will all be over soon. Once you tell Costia that she doesn't want to do any more negotiations with her, then she'll be out of your hair._  
  


She exhales a long breath, turns the doorknob, and pushes the double doors open. She squints her eyes shut and scrunches her nose in response to an awful strength of air that entered her nostrils. Rusty iron, human skin, and rotten wood stenched the...

Ontari opens her eyes and gasps in horror. She couldn’t believe her eyes at what she is seeing. She clenches her fists until they turn white and she tries to keep herself rooted in place so that she won’t faint. The sight made her nauseous and almost lightheaded. 

There was Costia sitting on her throne, twirling a sword that is stained dark red. The bodies around both of them were pale and lifeless; the emotions, feelings, and reactions were sucked out of them. Whatever shock they had from getting slaughtered by the imposter was still there in their bloodshot eyes. They lied on the ground like toy figures; their limbs were in uncomfortable places, they were in positions where they didn’t look like they were sleeping, and some of their body parts were missing or ripped out from them. The room was soaked in puddles of blood. The dead bodies were scattered everywhere like seasoning on bread.

Costia’s face was splattered with the red liquid. Her canvas of a face is decorated in the different shades of red and maroon. When she smiles, her teeth reflect and look so perfect compared to her stained face. 

"I've been waiting quite some time for you, Ontari." 

"What the hell happened here." Ontari spurts out. "You did ALL of this?" She gestures to all the dead bodies clumped around them.

"They were in my way, so I had to get rid of them." 

Ontari scrunches her brow. She resists the urge to punch the senses into Costia right then and there. "Get rid of them? You're even worse than my mother!" 

"I'm sorry, but Azgeda is no longer under your control, but under mine." 

Ontari shakes her head, "You can't just take away my power just like that." 

"I already control most of the warriors in this palace. I can kill you if you want me to, or you can give your power up to me." Her voice gives a slight undertone that Ontari can’t quite get at. _Who the hell is this girl? Echo is right about her, but there’s no way she is just an imposter general._

"They will know that I lost all power to you? Framing me won't work." 

"I know that.” She puts the knife down, ”Lexa and the ambassadors aren't that stupid to think you would go batshit crazy after losing Queen Nia. Your army is weak. Besides, I'm not trying to just take control of the Ice Nation."

She smiles and rises up from her seat.

**"I'm going to take control of the entire coalition."**


	18. In Your Headspace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Middle section is a tiny bit inspired by Chapter 1 of "Welcome to Sanctum" by vmplvr1977  
>    
> 

[(A/N: Here's Wanheda's Anthem/Theme Song)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5q2qRuLGlU8)

* * *

She lifted her face, letting the sunlight and shadows from the trees intermingle across her own skin.

She basked in it's warmth, enjoying how it felt compared to the cooler chambers in the tower of the capital.

Some bees were quietly humming around her.

She inhaled a nice smell of bark, dirt, and fresh berries and continued to walk deeper into the crowded trees.

The sound of her boots crunching through the fallen leaves made a satisfying crinkling in her ears. 

The flamekeeper missed being away from the capital. The intensive training that Titus put her under made her exhausted. Not physically though, like the warriors who underwent rigorous training with the generals, but mentally.

Burying her head deep in the books, learning all the teachings, memorizing versus and text, made her feel like her brain was going to collapse at times. She admitted that she enjoyed her job; protecting the flame, keeping the spirit safe, ensuring that the faith of the twelve clans is put under a well-rounded commander. But sometimes, she really needed a small break, but never got one. 

The earthy air reminded her of her goal; get the natblida, say why she wants her and explain that her life is in grave danger, and bring her back to the capital with no harm. It's as simple as that, but it's easier said than done. 

The scrabbling of some lizards on tree bark startled her. As someone from Trikru, she knows that they were most likely running away from someone nearby. She pauses in place, the resumed noises of some wild life nearby bristle in her ears. _The lizards were scrambling up the tree, meaning that they were running up into the tree. If I was the one that alerted them, then they would've ran elsewhere and away from me. Instead they ran into me. So they were getting away from someone behind..._

She quickly whips her head back.

"Who is that." 

Her hand goes to her belt, the ringing noise of her sword being unsheathed makes her feel secure. "Get out here and face me, I'm not one you should mess with." That statement is true. She is in fact, trained with combat by probably the most powerful general in all of the twelve clans. 

"What is a Flame keeper doing in these woods?" The voice answers, "You're far away from your little cozy quarters in Polis."

Gaia tightens her grip when the figure steps out of hiding. Her brown eyes and chocolate hair were immediately recognizable. Her teeth are clenched together, almost emitting a small grunt of frustration.

"I could ask the same thing for you, Echo." She says, "I am just ensuring the safety of the natblida."

"What natblida? Aren't they all in Polis?" 

"Yes..." Gaia trails, wondering if she should reveal her secret mission to the spy in front of her. If it weren't for Lexa's coalition, then she would've ran away from the noise fearing for her life. But thanks to that, she kept her stance. She takes a deep breath and let's the air out of her system. "...All but one." 

"Is that why you're here?" Echo gestures to the forest. "To recruit her?"

Gaia sheathes the sword back into her belt. "No, I am here to protect her so that her possible succession won't be interfered with-"

A twig snapped behind her. When she turned to the noise, the leaves in the bushes were quivering slightly, indicating that there was someone else nearby.

"We have to ensure that they don't get to her." Gaia draws her sword out once again, gripping it tightly. Before she could run toward the noise, Echo grabs her by the shoulder.

"And why's that?" She asks.

Gaia quickly shoves her hand off her shoulder. "I'll explain later, just stay alive and fight these people off with me!" Her hurried tone makes the spy ponder. 

Echo huffed but complied. She got closer to Gaia. They had their backs facing each other; the noises were surrounding them. A branch from above cracks and Gaia's head shoots up. She sees a silhouette blocking some of the sunlight.

It's feet leaps off of the dangling branch. Gaia's eyes go wide. 

"Look out!"

**THUNK!**

The body crumpled on the ground beside them. Echo kicks the body to the side and grabs another arrow, thankful that her renowned archery skills were coming back to her after the war ended. 

"You watch the ground," She squints her eyes in focus and aims at the branches above them. "I'll watch the sky." 

Gaia's ears perk up when two more figures reveal themselves from hiding. The two warriors make eye contact with each other before charging at Gaia. 

"For the flame!" She cries out while clutching the steel weapon. 

They both charge at her without any defense. She kicks the first one backwards and smacks the second warrior with the bottom of her blade, giving him no time to recover before pulling him closer and burying her sword into his heart. He cries out in pain but Gaia removes her sword and shoves him to the ground, seeing the blood burst out of him like a popped balloon. _Stupid gona-_

Her reflexes kick in and she turns to the side. Her blade makes contact with another steel rod, thankful for catching the first warrior in the nick of time. She parries another hit from him and uses her sheer force to hit the weapon out of his hand. She slices the blade across his exposed skin. He chokes out an inaudible sound, clutching his chest in an attempt to prevent more bleeding. He stumbles backwards to the ground. The dark red color mixes with the dirt, making Gaia slightly cringe at the sight. 

"Echo." She spins her head, only finding out that she isn't where she was before. "Are there any more?" She turns back around, wondering where the spy went. _Did she abandon me? Where would she even go?_

She exhales a breath. _She probably just left like mysterious person that she is-_

She almost flinches when she sees her drop down close to her face. Her outfit is slightly decorated from a variety of leaves. 

"No, they're all dead." Echo pats herself to take off any excess dirt. "You were right, they were on their way to Shadow Valley. They were all Sangeda warriors."

"Sangeda? Well, most of the Shadow Valley warriors were in Polis....and there was a quarrel between both ambassadors...so that was..." 

"A hunting party. Most of the people I just fought were archers. They brought a few warriors along as a diversion tactic." Echo completes her sentence. "We should go find your natblida before they send out more people." 

"You're helping me?" Gaia quirks her brows with surprise. "You of all people?"

"I have nothing else to do. Now we should get going before we waste anymore time." 

* * *

"...die..."

"....space...."

"....mind....per..."

"...alter....ego...."

"....find....you...."

".....trap....."

"....in...between..."

".....useless...."

A familiar cool breezes wakes her up. The stained dirty glass panels in front of her make her shiver in remembrance of her previous nightmare she experienced a few days ago. _I'm back here again? I'm in the middle of the dark hallway this time. But why?_ She takes a step backwards to analyze her situation but her clothes brush against some wood. She gasps at the touch and turns around. 

"Another door?" She mumbles to herself. Her hands feel the dark wood, her smooth skin touching the rough texture of the battered entrance.

"But why?"

Her eyes linger on the doorknob. _Whoever is here...is telling me they want us to meet._ She grips the copper and pushes the door forward. 

The air isn't as cool as in the hallways, the dusty wafts of a breeze enter her nostrils. It seems to have absolutely no signs of significance whatsoever, the emptiness almost haunts her. She squints her eyes in an attempt to adjust to the dim space. There is a small light that emits a buzzing sound whenever it flickers. She is so used to having minor trouble maneuvering around the tight spaces of the Ark Station, and even in her shared quarters in Polis. Now, the bleakness makes her brain scramble in trying to fill in whatever she imagined that would complete the area. She takes a few strides inside but her footsteps seem alarmingly loud. Every time she presses her feet to the ground, the sound ricochets off the walls in the desolate place. A feeling of excruciating uncomfort creeps up to her nape, tingling her nerves at the consuming silence. 

The continued buzzing starts to irritate her. _I'm being taken to an empty room with an annoying light?_

The whole room goes black. The dark swallows her whole. She tries to reach for the door but notices that she can't move. She shifts her arms in an attempt to pry herself free, but finds not luck in doing so. Her racing heart thuds rapidly against her ear. Her breathing becomes heavy. She can almost imagine that if the darkness were a creature, it was going to pounce on her anytime soon and swallow her whole-

The dim light flickers once again, revealing that she is all of sudden bound to a chair. The light finally stops blinking, her pupils slightly shrink in response to the sudden brightness. A metal table with flimsy legs and an empty beige chair appear front of her. A table for two, except she knew that it wasn't a date for coffee. She tries once more to move, but the constricting ropes that tie her down make her grunt in defeat.

"Hello, again." 

The light above her dims a little bit. The darkness starts to creep up on her once again. The hanging bulb above her acts as a shield preventing the area that she's in from being taken by the night. 

"We have a lot to do, considering the last time you escaped my grasp." 

"Who are you?" She asks. She tries to pinpoint where the sound is coming from, turning her head in an effort to do so.

"I said the last time we met that I am you. Don't you remember?" 

"I need to know what you look like." She desperately says. "Stop hiding like the coward you are!"

The empty place embraces the ringing noise of her plea and leaves a buzz in her ear. 

A moment passes. 

Then another.

Then another.

Then another.

Time dragged on like a tired dog on a leash; the passing seconds seemed like minutes.

A blanket of goosebumps appeared on her arms, the uncertainty shrouded her mind and blurred her focus. Her eyes started to dart everywhere, searching for a sign of the voice. 

Her pupils shrank when a dark figure stepped out of the darkness, standing behind the chair. Their hood acted like an umbrella with blocking the overhead bulb from revealing the person's face. When they pulled the fabric back, Clarke emitted a gasp. Red strands of crusty hair spilled out of the hood. Her body became tense as she immediately recognized who this person was.

"Of course, totally, I'll show you who I am. My, oh my, and to think that you were such an intimidating person to spend time with." Wanheda says with a demeaning undertone in her voice, walking in slow strides around the table. "If only there was a way to display how much I enjoy your presence here with me." Wanheda grinned and put her hands on the edge of the empty chair. "Oh, I know, and I think you know my enjoyment here too, Clarke. All I need is to have a nice, little conversation with you."

Clarke frowned feeling very uneasy. "Why are you here?" She lowers her tone. "What do you want from me?" 

Wanheda raised her brow, tapping her foot on the ground, her hands still gripped to the chair. "Oh you know what I want?" She says. "I want to prove you wrong." 

Clarke clenches her fist under the table. "You'll never do that." 

"The only me is me...." The red-haired girl starts. **"....Are you sure the only you is you?"**

Clarke bites her lip. As controversial and confusing as it was, the question Wanheda threw at her made her wonder if she did share the same mind space. _No, I can't let her be right, she's trying to play mind games with me._

The blond shakes her head. "You're wrong. I am the original version of me. You are just a made up version of myself."

"Well, you're one to talk as well, Clarke. You created a made up version of Lexa in your mind; the hero, the knight in shining armor who saved your life, thinking that you saved hers. But the only reason Lexa decided to fall in love with you is that she wanted to control us, isn't that right-

Clarke thrashed against her restraints, her face tense, and her lips quivered, almost emitting a growl. "Don't you dare bring her into our conversation. She's apart of your mind space as well. This is between us and not her!" She aggressively states.

Wanheda grinned once again, knowing that she hit a nerve so she kept going. "Fine, but don't come crying to me when you find out that she used you....knowing that you would crumble like broken pottery without her; so null, bitter, and useless. Without her, unlike how you are now, you would've faced a much better fate minus all that useless pain and suffering. I personally would've also wanted you to die in the landing-

"Shut up!" Clarke shouts, "You monster-"

Wanheda slammed her hand on the table to silence Clarke's blabbering tongue. "Look here," She says coolly, her voice was low. "I would like the best for the both of us, Clarke, but I can't help but laugh if you're not wanting to assist me in our goals."

Clarke frowns, ignoring the fact that the girl blocked her from letting out her pent up frustration. "What goals?" She growls. Recognizing that Wanheda wasn't going to back down, and their bickering back and forth wouldn't do much, she wanted to know her intentions so that she could get out of this situation she's put in. 

"To start off...." Wanheda thinks of the best way to put the unfortunate news out to her. "Since both of us represent Clarke in two separate ways, there's only room for one. That's why I put you in this room so that we can talk things out." 

"I'm Clarke Griffin, you are Wanheda." The red-haired girl narrows her eyes when the blonde points out the distinction between the two of them. "Wanheda is fake, and Clarke is real." 

Wanheda playfully rolls her eyes. "Tell that to the twelve clans who praise me for killing Roan-"

"I killed him!" She attempts to fight her restraints once again. "You decided to get into my head afterwards, so don't try to mix things up!" She huffs at the binding ropes and squirms like a deer that is wrapped up by an anaconda. She really wanted to get out of here, right then and there.

Wanheda gets more enjoyment from Clarke's attempts. She sits down to be face to face. "Are you sure about that, Clarke Griffin? I thought you slaughtered three guards in the dark forests." Using her own words against the annoying blond never felt so good. She happily sighs and kick her feet on the table. "Oh, wait. That was my doing."

"You convinced me to do that to them. You let the anger get the best of us." Clarke growls. The ways Wanheda were getting to her made her skin boil. 

Wanheda raises her brows, realizing that Clarke decided to be inclusive in the conversation they were having. "Oh so now you admit that I am significant to you? I've been waiting for you to say that for quite a bit of time." She emits a chuckle once again when she sees Clarke's angered reaction.

"You're only significant to me because you're a threat! Now get out of my head!" 

Wanheda suppresses the urge to laugh at her stupidity. "We aren't in your head, princess. We are in the place of the in between?"

"In between?"

Wanheda checks one of her hands for any dirty nails, finding Clarke so intriguing...yet so boring. "When we crash landed here, people were afraid of my capabilities. That's how I was born, and you know this yourself." She doesn't bother looking at Clarke, who is glancing at the table and trying to think of a possible solution. 

"We can work this out." She proposed. Wanheda took her gaze off her nails and focused it on her. "We can sort this out together." This caused Wanheda to put her feet down on the ground and sit up right. She narrows her gaze in thought. Eventually she leans closer to tell her the decision she quickly made.

**"No."**

Clarke furrows her brows. "What do you mean no?"

She sits back normally and replies, "I really enjoy your presence here. However, it feels so fantastic to finally have raw power."

Clarke scoffs at the gloating. "You're a sociopath, a murderer. You think you're superior to me but you're not. Get off your high horse for once and stop being irrational like the good little evil personality that you are."

The blond knew she got to Wanheda when she sees the evil smirk wiped clean off her face.

"You think you can dodge a bullet every time you name call me?" Wanheda growls. "Since we are both apart of the same person, those labels you just called me are meant for you too. If you attack me, you attack yourself. After all, we are what makes Clarke Griffin, Clarke Griffin."

"That-that's not fair, and that's not true. You're not a god. You can't just decide who lives, and who dies. There will be people against you." Her attempt to anger Wanheda almost worked, until she saw that she was smiling again. Clarke couldn't wait to get out of her seat and smack Wanheda back to reality. 

"You're right. I'm not a god. I am Wanheda, the Commander of Death." 

Sudden bursts of black and red start to dance all around the room. It brightens the space and rapidly turns the atmosphere into a chaotic blur.

The light starts to rattle above her. 

"I am much more powerful than you, and I have full control here." 

The light bulb bursts like a popped blood vessel. The glass flies everywhere. She hisses when some of the shards make contact with her skin.

Her body suddenly starts to warm up.

The ropes start to turn a bright orange. The fabric of her clothes start to overheat, the ropes feel a lot more compressed against her skin. Her nose crinkles at the smell of something burnt. Her eyes go wide when she notices small grey clouds start to rise from herself. She hopelessly tries to thrash against the burning heat. 

"Give up. Clarke. Let the fires of our anger consume you." 

"No. I will never give in to you!" 

"Is that so?" 

Her insides felt torched. She clenches her teeth and shuts her eyes. White spots started to enter her sealed vision. 

"Admit it, you like what I'm doing to you.. Let it dictate your actions and become me."

"AHHHH!" She cries out. "NEVER!" 

"I'm the **one in control**. Not you."

Clarke suddenly gasps.

Something clicks in her head. 

The ropes stopped their slow torture. 

"Wait a second...you make me think that you're more powerful than me, but I also have control here as well." 

As if it was on cue, Wanheda's eyes go wide and she suddenly doubles over. The red-haired girl tries to get up, but her gravity became heavy and pushed back against her.

Clarke smiles. When she wriggles against the ropes, she finally breaks free from it's grasp. Wanheda whimpers in surrender. She barely has the energy to move but she tilts her head to look at Clarke.

"No...don't you dare."

"We may share the same person, but our personalities are different as you said. But I still can and will fight back."

Chains appeared out of nowhere and pinned the girl's wrists, restricting her movements. Clarke starts to leave her where she was and heads to the door. When her hand is on the doorknob, the girl grabs her attention by thrashing against her newly-created chains. 

"We're not done here, Clarke!" She hisses. "WE WILL MEET AGAIN AND I WILL BE SURE THAT I WILL WIN-"

She slams the door shut, cutting off her tantrum. _Victory at last._

But it was only a draw. 

* * *

"What do you mean we're lost? Shouldn't you have memorized the lands of the twelve clans?" 

"Quiet! Let me focus. The flame will guide me to the Shadow Valley Clan." 

"The flame won't just automatically tell you where she is hiding. It doesn't have a tracker."

The spy and the apprentice were almost at the end of the thick forest. A tide of déjà vu crashed into Echo's mind, remembering the night of the crash with Luna and Niylah.

That time, they were trying to cause a diversion so that the Ice Nation warriors wouldn't be able to invade Trikru lands and break the treaty they shared together. However, Echo wasn't so sure why Gaia is so adamant on finding a specific natblida who didn't consent to being apart of the conclave. 

"Why Madi?" She blurts out. "What's so important about her?" 

Gaia mentally curses at herself for just dragging the spy along with her without explaining anything. _It's THE Echo of Azgeda you branwada. She is probably sick and tired of a fresh new flamekeeper trying to preach her faith onto her own._ She sighs. "During a summit, the Shadow Valley ambassador said that the commanders spoke to her in her sleep. She doesn't even bear the flame and she got visions from them, telling her that she will be the next to ascend after Lexa's long reign over our lands." 

Echo frowns, her face looked occupied. It indicated to Gaia that she is slowly rendering the information. "Huh, no wonder they wanted her neck. Those _branwadas_ thought that they could that they could her power. It is a similar pattern with how they wanted Wanheda as well." 

Echo decides to walk ahead of the flamekeeper, determined about reaching the edge of the woods. Her arms push past a few branches that blocked them from the end of the forest.

She lets out a gasp. 

"Are you kidding me?" 

Gaia catches up to Echo, noticing that her jaw is wide open.

In front of them, the two lands were divided by a big body of water. Gaia steps in front of Echo and walks toward the humongous lake. It seemed to encompass a big patch of land, encircling it with a ring of blue. The grey pebbles under her feet let out a sort of crunching noise as she gets closer to the shoreline. She turns her head back slightly to an appalled Echo. 

"This is the way to Madi." She points to the patch of land in the water. 

Echo doesn't respond but makes her way toward Gaia. Her eyes study the island in front of them. A gleaming light came from a tower far ahead of them. "I forgot how far away Shadow Valley is from Polis." 

"If those archers and warriors can't make it, we can." She offers her forearm. "We have to get to Madi." 

Echo firmly grabs it in reciprocation. "I guess we're going on a road trip then. Lead the way _Fleimkeipa._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably no one in the universe expected a Gaia & Echo duo. 
> 
> I love how you guys hate Costia.


	19. Technical Difficulties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Error 404

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (The 100 - 7x08) is an epic episode
> 
> I'm might add a few elements of the episode into my (now very long) adventure fic
> 
> \+ Chapters will be slightly shorter due to various events simultaneously occurring in the altered timeline.
> 
> \+ Updates will still be at irregular times.

**DING!**

The heavy metal panels shifted to open. The elevators noise signaled to the person inside that it had reached it's destination. The mechanic inside bursts out in a flash, her feet pounding against the carpeted floors in the semi-occupied hallway. Her bag she slung over her shoulder added to her weight, but that didn't phase her and how fast she was going. She passed by square cubicles on her left and right behind glass windows. Her shoulders were hit a few times by passers-by, their faded shouts of protests were way out her concern at the moment; the main goal is to find Sinclair and Monty and tell them that-

She smacked into a heavy force and got the breath knocked out of her. She groaned in discomfort and shook her head. On the Ark Station, stumbling slightly while running from the guards costed her big time with a minor injury near her chest. That retched and intense day sometimes flashed into her mind; reminding her of the horrible fate she met when Marcus Kane punched a bullet deep into her heart, giving her a slow, painful death. 

"Woah there kiddo. What a way to greet me."

She blinked multiples times and mentally cursed at her blurry vision. She didn't recognize the person at first; her eyes squinted in an attempt to readjust to the lighting. Her hand slightly pushed against the chest of the mysterious person. The natural instincts inside her mind were screaming at her to run away before getting hurt, arrested, or floated into space before.

"Monty and I have been waiting for you." Hands firmly grip her shoulders. Her vision slightly clears up and she notices that the older engineer's eyes are filled with desperation. A wave of relief washes over her body. It was only Sinclair, not an Arker guard who wanted to use brutal force against her. 

"Hey, it's only been a day since I sent Anya back down to Earth." Raven responds. "Lord knows if she will even visit back since the city is malfunctioning." 

"It's best that your friend stays on Earth. Follow me." Sinclair continues walking until they reach the end of the hall, where grey door has his name plastered on it.

"Come here this way to my set up. Monty and I are still trying to figure out why the upload stopped all of a sudden."

After the sky turned red, Raven and company were trying their best to figure out what was happening, and why it (the strange upload) decided to make a sudden appearance right when the City of Light is at optimal functionality; it just didn't make any sense to the top mechanic of the Ark. 

He opens the door, and they both see the third engineer frantically typing away at a big massive screen. The digits quickly whirred across the wide frame, showing how urgent the situation had turned. 

"Monty? I came as soon as I could. What's the matter?" Raven quickly walks to where he is and stands beside him.

"I'm still trying to see what exactly we're dealing with," He leans back and runs a hand through his hair. "We've been at it for quite a bit now and I still just can't figure it out." Not only did the upload stop when the sky was on fire; it restarted itself in another attempt to redo what it had done yesterday. What they were trying to all figure out is how the upload came to be. Where did it come from? Who launched it? Was it the primal reason why the servers were malfunctioning? If someone did launch it, how were they able to do so? 

"He's just a little stressed." Sinclair sits down on a chair left of Raven. "We haven't had any luck in trying to decipher what's going on. But the good news is that the servers aren't as overwhelmed as before, so I know that they won't crash on us." That added onto their list of unanswered questions. Why did it stop? Why this? Why that? Everything changed that day when she brought Anya back here; the overwhelming stream of improbabilities made the mechanic extremely frustrated since her brain was so used to being able to solve things quickly. But thankfully, the only good news that Sinclair gave her took off some of the invisible weight bearing down on her shoulders.

"Good," Raven stares at the digits on the screen. "That will definitely buy us more time. I'll connect this online." She puts her bag on the ground and pulls out a laptop. She puts it on the desk next to Monty's keyboard, that is connected to the bigger screen. As the brains that they were when they got here after meeting their death, they were able to experiment with a lot of variables in this online realm. Raven felt like a kid in a candy store; her mind eat at whatever technological information that was all stored here in A.L.I.E.'s digital world. "I think the reason why it stopped the upload is because it's trying to breach it again as we speak. Since it failed yesterday. Plus, the sky outside is still red." 

When Anya was trying to fight her consciousness when they first met on accident, the blaring alarms flashed the color red. _It could mean something symbolically,_ she thought. _There is most likely a possible deeper meaning behind it all._ She took a mental note and put it in the back of her mind. Now wasn't the time to wander off and resolve plausible situations. 

"Raven, I-I don't know how to solve this." Monty's frantic voice steers her back to reality. "I've tried to identify what exactly the upload file is, but it won't tell me anything."

"We wasted a day going that route Monty." Sinclair grumbles in remembrance of their trail and error of the day before. "I think we shouldn't be trying to figure out what specifically it is. We need to think of something else." 

"Thinking of something else. That's a good start, but what exactly?" Monty raises his brow. "If we can't see what type of document or file it's trying to upload, then what do we do?" The frazzled nature he's displaying right now didn't surprise the mechanic, but now wasn't the time to be fooling around. Of course, whenever Monty couldn't figure something out, he would try to fix it on his own, knowing his hopeful nature.

The thought of moving their minds away from a tough project made the rational part of her mind shout in protest. In space she had almost no time to diverge away from her work life; the demands of keeping her people safe always put her on high alert. But now that their people were almost all dead, her mind is always empty and hungry. And this semi-threatening issue is gnawing away at her brain - like a dog chewing on a bone. 

"If we think of something else, our minds will go crazy since we'll have to go back to square one." Raven opens her mouth. "We'll have to go back to square one! That's it!" She grabs a loose cord that is connected to the main screen and plugs it in with the USB port on her laptop. The blue screen on her computer comes to life as it starts up. She turns her head to Sinclair, who is raising his brow at the sudden change of mood. 

"Do you know how sometimes if you don't know what's happening to your device, you try to fix it in the settings?" She asks him.

He nods his head and purses his lips together, trying to figure out what Raven is getting at. "Yeah...?" He trails. She smiles and says, "And what do you do when you do so?" 

His face brightens up. **"You troubleshoot it."** He stands up and goes to keyboard where Monty is.

"Sinclair what are you-" Monty stops his protests when he types a few digits in. The main screen shifts back to normal. The troubleshooting app opens up and starts its process in trying to identify the issue. "Oh I see." The puzzle pieces of the problem shifted perfectly in place; it all made sense. 

_I'm getting somewhere with this._

Like water trying to fill up inside a hose, the loading screen slowly gets longer and longer in front of their eyes. Their bright and hopefulness were plastered on their faces. Maybe they were overthinking it all along. Even though they could've started simple and then go into the advanced stuff, maybe then it would've been better. It didn't matter now, they were on the brink of identifying-

**ISSUE IDENTIFIED: POSSIBLE VIRUS NEAR THE** **SOFTWARE**

"What the hell?" That didn't make any sense at all. Raven looks down at her computer. "Where is this virus coming from? And how is it 'near' the software?" 

Sinclair crosses his arms and lets out a huff. "I don't know." He leans over and clicks it again. But it shows up the same results. "We must be doing something wrong."

Normally, when something is detected, it would either be inside the device or trying to get in. There was no in between - or whatever the screen stated. Going back to square one would mean tracing steps backwards - She totally didn't know that it would mean that the issue would confuse them even more. The City of Light is so strange, yet so awesome. 

"Raven maybe we dodged a bullet. If I didn't stop trying to click open the upload file, then it could've been exposed to the software that runs the City of Light. So that means that-"

"-that it was trying to lure us in." She completes. A grin slowly creeps up her lips. "It's functioning like a **Trojan Horse** ; it is a type of malware that is often disguised as legitimate software. It was trying to get complete access to systems and servers online. We were almost tricked by it's social engineering that it most likely set up by itself, so that it could try to execute whatever it wanted to do in The City Of Light." She flashes a smile at Monty. "You're a genius. Good call." He is right: it could have been a trap that they were getting lured into.

"Thanks, same goes for you as well." Monty moves his seat forward to be closer to the desk. He looks at Sinclair. "Check to see if all of the firewalls are activated."

Sinclair types for a few more moments. "Yes all the firewalls are up. The security systems are online so that means that it detected the virus and-" His eyes go wide.

"No way." 

"What is it?" Monty tugs at his forearm. "What's the matter now?"

"Raven check the backup security systems right now!" The desperation in his voice startles Raven. Sinclair barely gets like this. 

The brunette follows his orders and thankfully, exhales a sigh of relief. "The backup systems are online. Since it is a big upload both the regular and backup are targeting the damn virus as we speak." She smiles at Sinclair but is greeted by a face filled with desperation. 

His fingers fly over the keyboard. As he hurriedly types, Monty and Raven exchanged concerned looks. This couldn't be that bad...it shouldn't be. They were going to solve this before anything else happens.

Lines of worry appear on Sinclair's forehead, he grits his teeth and his eyes dart back and forth between the screen and the keyboard.

"Sinclair? What's up? I thought that it was a good thing. Everything is working out fine, right?"

The grey-haired man shakes his head. He bites his bottom lip. "No. The virus upload acted as a diversion to trick all the security systems. It made it so that it could focus all of it's attention on itself. It was a suicide mission, knowing that it would be terminated..." He scratches his hair and shuts his eyes in sheer frustration. "It duplicated itself various amounts of times in order to make itself bigger and overwhelm the storage systems. Thus, making the security on the servers take a little longer in order to eliminate it. **It knows exactly how the anti-viruses installed here works**. Meaning that it is-"

"Sinclair! Raven! Look at the main screen." Monty shouts. All three of them divert their attention from each other, quickly noticing that the big frame in front of them changed all of a sudden.

-. . .-- / ... --- ..-. - .-- .- .-. . / -.. . - . -.-. - . -..

**MERGING....IN PROGRESS**

-. . .-- / ... --- ..-. - .-- .- .-. . / -.. . - . -.-. - . -..

**MERGING TEMPORARILY PAUSED**

**.... .- -.-. -.- .. -. --. / ... . -.-. ..- .-. .. - -.-- / ... -.-- ... - . --**

Raven fumbles to her laptop and types at light speed. "The firewalls are trying to temporarily block the virus from breaching the servers but it's failing since it detects no incoming threats. It either masked itself or the original upload was a fake one in order to lure attention away from itself." She clicks multiple times with the keypad, but nothing else changes. She slams her hand on the desk. "Shit!"

**SERVER UPDATE IN PROGRE-**

"What upload?" Sinclair asks. "I thought the Trojan Virus was the real upload."

**MERGING** **RESUMED**

"What is it even merging?" Monty asks, feeling very helpless in this situation. The oldest engineer covers his face with his hands and lets out a muffled groan. Raven types even faster in an attempt to block the real virus from breaching inside. 

"No. No. No. No." Raven's fingers start to tremble, her eyes darting back and forth. "It tricked the security into uploading itself onto its servers disguised as one of it's updates! Shit!"

**MERGING...IN PROGRESS (90% COMPLETE)**

"The City of Light is merging with a duplicate software in an attempt to save itself!" She turns to Monty, answering his question from earlier. "I don't think the servers have enough storage to do so-"

Everything went south. The sudden darkness swallowed the room whole. Raven tried to grip onto anything to anchor herself back to a light. Sinclair’s stressed muttering could be heard, but she couldn’t tell from where.   
  


“The power went out!” Monty points out the obvious. She heard his footsteps get closer. “The whole city shut down as well!” 

The brunette shifts to look at the window besides the three of them. Outside, the whole city looked lifeless; every yellow square of light that lit up on the window panel of each building is replaced with a hollow dark grey. Raven walks toward the glass and puts out her hand.   
  


She failed everyone. The mechanic who passed her exams with flying colors - messed up on some simple virus that breached the servers by now. The irking, rotten, looming disappointment chewed up her insides, making her stomach feel a pang of emptiness.

Everyone thinks its just a minor power outage, but it's not. Everyone thinks that it will go away, but it won’t. Everyone thinks that it’s just some malfunctioning of the technology, but it’s more than that.

A horrible thought at the back of her mind makes her shudder.

No, it can’t be.   
No. She won’t let that happen.

No. No. No. No-

The floor starts to tremble at their feet. The shaking vibrates against her skin, making her nerves tingle. The City can’t shut down. There’s no way that-

It stopped.   
  


Everything came to a halt.   
  


And then there is light.   
  


The whirring of her computer starts back up. The humming of the air conditioning in the building comes to life in the background. She exhales a long breath that she’s been holding for quite a bit, a grin comes back to her lips.   
  


“Everyone okay?” She says to her two friends. They nod while still trying to process what the hell just happened.   
  


“What-what j-just happened?” Monty asks. They’re all looking at Raven’s laptop, which is now acting normal. 

“I guess the power outage indicated that it couldn’t hold the virus in its storage systems. So it probably exported it outside or discarded it.” Sinclair says with a hint of hope in his voice. 

A repeated beeping diverts them from their shared moment of relief. Raven tears her eyes away from her laptop and looks up. The main screen in front of them is flashing some letters that makes them all silent and unable to speak.

Monty parts his lips to speak, but nothing comes out. After a few painful and lingering moments, Sinclair shakes them both back to reality.

“We need to go! Now!” He shouts hurriedly. Monty nods as a response, but the brunette feels immobilized; her feet are buried into the ground.

  
Raven’s insides are splashed with freezing water, her pupils shrinking at the sight of the words displays in front of her.

No. 

  
No way.

Impossible.   
  
  


**MERGING** **COMPLETE -** **UPLOAD SUCCESSFUL**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so proud after posting this chapter


	20. Dead of Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter summed up:
> 
> "We need Madi because she talks to our dead leaders."  
> "Someone snooped in your room."
> 
> “You don’t know me at all but you have to shoot those flying things.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to be published a day earlier lol
> 
> I will re-edit this chapter later. I feel a bit fatigued.

**Extended Chapter Note:**

Hey guys. So a few things.

1) I'm going to start planning a Clexa Modern AU fic in the far future.

I'm deciding between these titles. Reply/comment which is the best one.

A - The Hunger in Your Haunt

B - Cataclasm: I am Nothing and you are Everything

C - My Mind: A Place of My Ultraviolence 

**[(2) I decided to make this into a "series"](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1824523) **

**[(3) Author's Note on Ch.16 is updated!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24095275/chapters/58440637) **

**(Readers Discretion: I wrote this in one sitting.)**

**XXI - Dead of Night**

The smooth stone that constituted the light house seemed a lot more taller after crossing the island - even though it is on the other side of where they are. It's towering height didn't seem to be that much from afar, but now that she is closer, it looked like it could touch the gentle clouds that are hovering above.

It took quite a bit of time to find something to cross the lake. But they found a boat nearby and operated with it. They were thankful that no scavengers or thieves ambushed them for taking their floating device. 

Getting out of Azgeda is good for her. She is supposed to let some air out of her cold-blooded system once in awhile. Her multiple near death experiences were most likely the cause of why she is so tense all the time.

The cool air bristled by, the trees in the distance were dancing slowly with the winds. The crunching noise of the flame keepers boots pressing against the sand nearby tickled her ears. It causes some minor goosebumps to crawl up her skin. 

“We’re almost there.” Gaia points out. She turns to look back at the lake and the forests in the distance. “The flame has guided us to the right path. Soon, we will be crossing around this island.”

Her 'friends' lips were parted with amazement at 'their journey to get the natblida'....or whatever Gaia liked to call it. She has great ideas...but-

Crossing around? That didn’t fit right for the spy. They might as well could've went straight from the lake to the other side where Shadow Valley is.

Plus, walking out in the open sure would cause unnecessary attention, whether it be from other human beings or wildlife animals.

_I would rather go back to Polis and talk to Lexa about Costia than just mindlessly walk around some stupid sand.  
  
_

She huffs and points to the trees standing in front of them. “Why can’t we just cross through this forest? It’s easier to do so.” 

Gaia shakes her head, still not making eye contact. "It's best if we split up."

Echo tried her hardest to laugh at the flame keeper's stupidity. After fighting off the hunting party that was going to kill the natblida, she thought that the brains of the two of them would come up with a better plan to get to Madi (That was her name, right?) 

She pinches her nose with her fingers and lets out a long exhale. "Gaia, the last time I split up with someone, they had their neck slit open while fighting and I got tied up and gagged as bait."

The oh-so horrible memories of Wanheda pushing her face in the dirt never failed to remind her of that day. Even though she almost got captured by the Maunon, she is glad that they halted their attacks on their people after they saw Wanheda fall from the sky.

Gaia frowns at her sarcastic statement. "Do you really want this natblida to be scared of you?" 

"Me?" Echo points to herself. "Just because I'm a spy?" Her nostrils flared as a challenge. The flamekeeper did have reasons to just leave her here to rot.

"No, it's because Azgeda and _Louwanda kilronkru_ have had lots of history in the past." 

She really wished that the flamekeeper would stop bringing up grudges and the questionable things that her clan has done. Gaia's extensive knowledge will most likely be held against her for the rest of their trip.

"Right..." Echo rolls her eyes. _What is this fleimkeipa thinking? She's going to die without me._

"Echo," Gaia grits her teeth. "It's best if we do it this way. I need to get to Madi and she won't be scared of me."

_Cause I'm the big scary assassin that will haunt her dreams. Oh no._

Echo shakes her head. **"Of course, because a Fleimkeipa going all the way into her home clan just to bring her back to Polis sure won't frighten her already."**

"Just listen to me and stay put here." Gaia firmly says. Her eyes had a hint of desperation. "You need to stay in order to keep watch over the island and make sure no other Sangeda warriors come this way."

Echo huffs. "Fine. Don't expect me to be surprised if you get attacked on the way." 

That's when she saw Gaia get very agitated at her words.

The flamekeeper takes a step closer. "Why did you even come here? It seems way out of character for you to help me. _What's in it for you, Echo_?"

Echo sighed, knowing that getting mad wouldn't help at all. Fighting fire with fire wouldn't work in this situation. _Another lesson learned while trying to fight back Wanheda._

"I saved your life.”

“You did?”

Echo clears her throat and takes a glance at the lake. “I was taking a break after I saw Cos-after the war and decided to take a walk in the forest, and then I saw a bunch of warriors talking about a night blood, so that's why I'm here. They were going to kill you _and_ Madi."

That was true, after leaving Ontari and walking in the woods she overheard some people talking about a natblida in shadow valley.

She went to the forests in that region and spotted them once again. The reason why she decided to follow the flamekeeper in a stalker-ish manner is that she wanted to make sure that the hunting party didn't know about her presence. She only revealed herself in the outskirts to make sure that no other clans were involved in their problems.

The anger read on Gaia's face quickly faded away.

She offers her forearm. “Thanks. Without you, the safety of the natblida would have been in the wrong hands."

The cool breeze bristled Echo’s hair. Both of them looked up to see the grey clouds looming over them.

Echo grips her forearm in exchange. "Be quick,” She says. “The coming storm in Shadow Valley might make Madi go into hiding.”

Gaia nodded her head and let go.

Echo saw her turn her back and continue taking the path around the island - hopefully returning with the natblida who could talk to the commanders without the flame.   
  


“May we meet again.” 

* * *

The sun gradually sets over the horizon, it's evening rays reaches out to the streets and small houses that are setting up for the night. Usually, the disappearing daylight tells everyone that it is going to be time to sleep, but it only picks up the momentum of the bustling city. 

The peacefulness of the evening is soothed by the endless flow of different conversations that filled the sky. The city of Polis is wide awake - even at these darker hours. The moon cooled up the now stuffy, bitter air which smelled of metal and furs.

Not even the chill winds were able to conquer the interesting taste of the air that hovered over the various vendors and customers. When the night approaches, torches and lamps of all kinds light up the place, resisting the black night's tempting darkness. The flow of people walking to and fro the marketplace starts to become more manageable and thinner. The sellers are able to be at ease after the frantic pace set buy the demanding afternoon crowds. 

Luna's searching eyes wander around, noticing the different vendors that came from all walks of the thirteen clans. The chatter of bargaining and the clinking of coins hitting tables in heated exchanges warmed up her heart inside. Peace at last. She no longer had to hide from all the politics that used to drive the capital into insanity. Her proposition of serenity is no longer laughed upon by the flame keepers who taught her the violent ways of how to rule when she would become the commander. 

No one worries about the possibility of being assassinated or killed - the peace they are able to have and attain feels like a strong remedy that soothed their grieving bones; even her own. 

Her shoulders occasionally were pushed on accident by others. The guiding orange hues that came from the nearby lamps helped her pass through the herds of customers. 

"If it isn’t the girl who wanted peace." Luna turns to the voice, her face brightens up in surprise. 

“Niylah, I see that you’re fairing well here.” She sees her friend searching for something behind her stall, her lips pursed in concentration. 

  
"I want to show you some goods that I want to trade-" A cluttering noise is heard, and the merchant curses in response. "Here it is." The metal glinted against the light, reflecting against her own eyes. "It's the watch you gave me." 

Unlike Lexa, Luna didn't fall for someone she hung out with for awhile. The feelings for Niylah were simply just her being intimated by how strong she is. And of course, how gay she might possibly be. Even though Titus's teachings of "love is weakness" came into her mind all those weeks she spent with Niylah at the trading post, it didn't really affect her decision. **Commander heart eyes is just more romantic than she is.**

"It's getting dark." She said, snapping herself out of her thoughts. "I'm going back to the tower soon, but after I talk a walk around." 

"The leader of the Boat People deserves a night out." Niylah says. A grin creeps up her lips, "Buy a drink for me if you can, I still have customers to attend to."

Just when Luna opens her mouth to respond, a strong hand grips her shoulder. 

_"Why did you come back to Polis?"_

The familiar aggressive voice make her hairs stand. She tilts her face to the side to see the top general of Trikru.

"Because the Commander listened to her people." She spits in response. "She wasn't too wrapped up in the fear of being disobeyed." _Why the hell is Indra worrying about me? She wanted me to die in the conclave. She wanted to see me get slaughtered by Lexa to prove that my ramblings about peace were pointless._

"Lexa is not here, and that means that you have to temporarily replace her. Now we need your help, your blood will guide us all. " 

The night blood argument is an overused comeback.

Night blood this, night blood that.

Luna turns to face her, not caring about her 'scary signature stone cold face'. "I've heard that before." She then points to the towering building in front of them. "I'm not going to lead this city while she's gone."

"And why's that?" Indra challenges. 

"Too much violence in that name. The last time I had power I put a blade in my brother's chest." Her lips quivered while saying so. "I can't. I will never." She shakes her head. "Stay here if you must, I need some fresh air."

She starts to walk away from the annoying general. _I owe Niylah an apology later-_

"Titus knows." 

She stops and turns around.

"Titus knows what?" 

Indra comes closer to her, but takes a look around before lowering her voice and saying, **"He knows about your Skaikru weapons."**

Luna parts her lips. 

"No way. That's...." Luna stutters. "That's impossible....where-" 

"He went through your stuff in your quarters." 

How could the head of the flamekeepers possibly know about her own inventory? Wasn't he supposed to be busy with the other natblida's? Was that the reason why he sent Gaia out to do mission work? So that he could have the Skaikru weapon all for himself? 

This was an invasion of privacy.

Luna shuddered and wondered what else Titus would've done. 

"But...why?"

"He was afraid that you would go into the dark so he took the gun for himself." An uneasiness lurks at the pit of Luna's stomach; mixed feelings of nothingness were threatening to eat out her insides. The last time Luna got a taste of the darkness for herself, she almost brutally murdered the Azgedan ambassador in the Trikru forests - potentially almost starting another conflict. Even though she conquered the black depths of her evilness, it still had a place in her broken heart.

"I know a thing or two about the darkness, after killing my brother and letting his blood stain my trembling hands." She strongly says. "If he has that gun, then other people will find out as well."

"That's why we need to hurry." Indra states.

Luna hesitates, but looks at the stall where Niylah is at, exchanging conversations with curious buyers. _She won't have to know about this._ She sighs and makes eye contact back with Indra. She nods her head. Her decision was made. 

"Lead the way." 

* * *

On that same night across the lands, the moon covered the lake with a white-ish hue, putting up blanket of light and security from the night and it's dark arms. The stars above decorate the night by scattering itself in the sky with it's white dots. The quiet chirping of nocturnal animals and insects could be heard, causing her to feel secure in her solidarity while sitting by herself on the sand.

She fought her boredom by twiddling with her bow and arrow, examining all of the nooks and cracks that indicated how old her bow was - and how experienced of an archer that she is. 

"And then I said to her 'well hey, you're job would've been so much easier." Echo mutters to herself. "This would've been a lot better if you weren't sitting alone in the sand by yourself!"

She throws her weapon on the sand and grunts in frustration. Sitting alone and waiting for Gaia was driving her insane. She wanted to be with her in Shadow Valley to help her find Madi...but of course, she is the _'big, bad, spy that will frighten the entire population of their people'_. If Gaia would actually listen instead of use war politics against her, then she would've known that Echo herself knows how people hide. 

"This is so pointless." She grunts and gets up, brushing whatever sand is on her clothes and picks up her bow. "I might as well take the short cut to get into Shadow Valley by going through the forests."

_"You're going to die if you do that."_

Echo spins around to find the voice, but can only see the forests in front of her. 

"Oh you're fucking kidding me." She reloads and arrow and aims it in the woods. "Show yourself before I split your chest open with my arrows and let your blood spill in the water nearby." 

She flinches and almost lets go of her arrow when the bushes rustle in front of her.

She lowers her bow when sees a small child-no teenager appear from the woods. 

"So you're Echo kom Azgedakru, right?" How would she know this information about herself? She's just a child...no wait-

Echo opens her mouth in shock. "What the hell?" She says. "You're supposed to be at your home." 

"I know. But the commanders told me about you and Gaia coming over." The infamous nightblood that Gaia is looking for just revealed herself in her arms, and all the rumours about her were true: she speaks as if she's the commander with the flame guiding her. Except that she isn't, since Lexa is alive and going to Ontari for negotiations. 

"What? How did they-"

"It's a long story." Madi interrupts. "They want me to show you something." 

"And what exactly is that?" She firmly grips her bow in skepticism. _Could this be another trap? Is she leading her toward some Sangeda warriors again?_

"Something from the first commander, Becca Pramheda." 

A rumbling noise is heard from across the forests. Madi turns to look up at the sky. "The storm is approaching Shadow Valley, so Gaia should be returning soon. She will find her way to us. But this is more important." The smaller brunette comes up to her and grabs her arm, pulling her to some larger rocks that are placed in the sand nearby.

"What?" Echo frowns, "I thought you said that I would die if I go into the woods-" 

**BANG!**

A bullet zips past her head. Madi yanks her arm before another bullet cracks through the air. Before Echo can say anything, Madi takes a small peek into the woods. "The first commander warned me about this." She starts, "She said that the flame programmed the flying tek, that are called 'drones' by the sky people. They are armed and shoot invaders like us." 

"But what about-"

"Hush!" She puts a hand up. "Listen closely." 

Another bullet is fired. A blood curled scream cuts through the air. 

"Okay." Madi turns back to Echo. "I have a plan to get rid of them." 

********

"This better work because I'm not showing up to Gaia with a dead natblida." 

Both of them are standing together in front of the rocks that they were just hiding behind. However, Madi was able to draw a line across the sand to help Echo know the difference between the deadzone and the safe zone - which they were currently in. 

"It will work." Madi affirms. "I just need you to take one of them down, and I will be able to pull the switch on the belly of the drone to deactivate all of them." Echo gives the strange teenager a weird look. Madi shakes her head. "Becca Pramheda told me all of this."

She continues to walk until she feels the bump that the teenager created earlier. "How many of them are there, natblida?" 

"Three of them."

"Right." Echo says. "Divert their attention, hide, then shoot." She glances back at Madi. "Simple as that." 

The buzzing noise of one of the drones could be heard in the forest. She inhales and draws her arrow. 

"For the flame."

**THUNK!**

The flying robot hovering nearby detected the noise. The diversion worked, it gave her enough of a time frame to cross into the dark green.

"NOW!" 

Echo took off in a sprint into the woods.

At the pace she's going at, her legs barely hit the ground. Her heart set a record-breaking pace and threatened to fly out of her chest. She gritted her teeth when branches of all sorts would slice into the fabric of her clothing. Her breathing became uneven, her throat quickly started to burn, and the awful, yet familiar taste of rusting iron lapped at her tongue. The firm roots almost made her stumble at a few times, the uneven terrain made it hard for the ex-assassin to properly run across. The bullets whistled past her hearing and hurtled shards of wood at her eyes when they hit the neighboring trees.

She'd have to go into hiding soon, and fast. 

She took a sharp turn and smacked her back against a tree. Her chest rose and fell rapidly; the heavy, irregular pattern of inhaling oxygen eased her flaming throat. She close her eyes for a second, trying her best to calm down.

The faint monotone humming of the drones made her hairs stand. _Shit_. She fumbled for another arrow and peeked out.

Twin blinking red lights in the distance is all she can see. 

She inhales a deep breath and pulls the arrow against the string. 

"Be true." 

The arrow collided with the flying metal. One of the red lights flicked off, and the drone hit the ground with a thump.

"One." 

Another bullet fired. It narrowly missed her hair. Splinters of wood flew everywhere.

She quickly reloads once again, her eyes squinted in concentration. 

"Two." 

She let's go of the arrow and it flies toward the second drone. The red light shuts down and the victorious sound of it meeting the earth made Echo sigh in relief.

She quietly steps out of her hiding. The silence becomes her friend, ensuring her that there were no more drones. 

Or so she thought-

BANG!

She ducks down when another bullet flies past her head. She mumbled a quiet 'thank you' to Keryon for her quick reflexes and starts running toward the drones. 

_The switch. The switch. Turn off the switch. Turn off the switch._

The buzzing noise of the third drone heightened her senses. 

_Turn off the switch. Turn off the switch._

The air cracks again. She lets her legs carry her weight as she bolts ahead, her sight fixated on the two artificial things on the ground in front of her.

_Turn off the switch. Turn off the switch- ._

She dives down to the ground right on time. The small metal that is fired barely misses her head. She clutched the broken drones in the dark, their arrhythmic noises indicated it’s malfunctioning state.   
  


She rolls to the side and dirt flies into her face. The bullet nearly hit her face. She shuts her eyes and fumbled for the metal stick  
  


_TURN OFF THE SWITCH BEFORE-_

  
She hears a crack in the air and shuts her eyes waiting for the bullet to kill her and-

Wait.

What? 

  
The noise is from on the ground. She raised herself up with her elbows.

She exhales.

That was too close. Way too close. Death almost swept her off her feet, but life fought back.   
  


_I almost died_. She gets up and dusts off the dirt. She takes a glance around, but feels rooted to the ground. “I almost died.” She repeats out loud.   
  
  


”But you didn’t-“

She spins around to the familiar youthful voice. “Stop scaring me for Heda’s sake.”

  
“Good job Echo. The commanders will be proud of you.” She beckons for the spy to follow her. “This way, we’re almost there. You ran basically almost across the whole forest.”   
  
Echo drags herself and blindly follows Madi. 

It didn’t feel like victory. It just felt like a test. _I shouldn’t just follow her like a lamb. Is she tricking me so that she can separate Gaia from me?_ Maybe she is being lured into a trap. Maybe she knew that she would be recruited by the flamekeepers and be forced to go to Polis. All these 'what if's' and 'Maybe' situations made her mind scramble. Could she really trust the little girl? Did she really talk to their past leaders in her sleep? 

"The commanders, why are they only speaking to you?" She asks. "You don't even have a flame. Is this a trap?" 

"No. It's not. They've been visiting me in my dreams, telling me so many things that have happened." Echo frowned. False truths once again, this girl is just trying to use the flame against herself. Maybe Madi thought that she wouldn't understand and use it as bait because she isn't a 'natblida'.

"Well clearly you're lying. You probably don't even know that a girl from the sky-"

"-came down to Earth, prevented a war between Azgeda and Trigeda, stopped the _Maunon_ from attacking since they were scared of us, and became the last member of the thirteenth clan." Echo opens her mouth in shock. Holy crap. _Impossible._ There's no way that-

"Yes, I know what has happened, even though my people are far from Polis. I've heard all of the tales of Wanheda from them." 

_Maybe I'm being the crazy one_. Echo sighs. "I'm sorry for doubting you. I just saw someone that I had an affair with who I thought was dead. She is also the commander's ex-girlfriend who-"

"-is named Costia and Lexa felt deeply hurt when she saw you kissing her." Madi completes. "She wasn't mad at you, she was heartbroken at her."

For the first time in awhile, a smile creeps up on Echo's lips. "You know too much for my liking, natblida." 

Madi exchanges her smile in response. 

They continue walking for a bit in the silence...

Until Madi's face brightens up. 

"What is it?" Echo asks. 

"We're here." She grabs Echo and pulls her toward a clearing up ahead. "This is what she wanted me to show you." 

Echo gasps at the sight. _No way._ _I thought this was only in the legend books._

"Holy mother of the flame."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like sarcastic Echo.
> 
> I'm trying to make them as much "In-character" as possible.
> 
> Writing about a market in the night time is quite hard, but I tried something new.
> 
> Niylah and Luna are platonic despite the hinting in Keryon's Calling - Luna just hasn't interacted with much people since she spent so much time in hiding to find her parents.


	21. The Red Flares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter summed up:
> 
> "Oh yum I like this food. Also, are you good?"
> 
> "Titus what are you doing?"
> 
> "Why are you all crazy?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Old note: 4,000 hits?! That's insane! Thank you guys so much I'm going to die happy now :D)
> 
> Anyways, the modern Clexa AU is going to be delayed for a bit cause life is busy. (Also...possible Sea Mechanic?????)

[Time for....Theme song #2!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uBPOu3si5w)

[(It will be recommended to play in a later chapter)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uBPOu3si5w)

**Another day, another "I did this in one sitting." type of chapter.**

* * *

**XXII - The Red Flares**

During the same night Luna and Indra met, Clarke and Anya were also exploring the markets of Polis.

But they were in the center of it all. 

"Come on, Griffin, I need to leave." She sees Anya back away in an attempt to escape the madness surrounding them.

"Uh-uh," Clarke grips her forearm. "You're already here outside of the tower with me, so we might as well enjoy a night out." 

She is determined to make sure that Anya is relaxed for once. The dirty blonde is always scampering around the halls of the tower with her nonstop grumbling. She dragged Anya into the mess of it all to help the general to blow off some pent up steam.

But it seems like it is only adding onto it. 

"Are you only taking me out because you miss Lex-" Clarke shoots the general a look to shut her up. Anya puts her hand up in surrender. "Sorry there blondie. Lead the way to wherever." 

But Anya is correct. She misses her lover dearly. 

The crowded market here is a river; the flow of people gently coursing through the streets, and the stands being the rocks that the current passes by. The people all around them walked to and fro from each vendor stall. Some are exchanged in deep conversations. Others proudly carry and dangle the items that they successfully attained. Clarke notices the glint of hopefulness and joy in some of their eyes, and sees the defeat in others. Her nose takes in the strange condensed air that is caused by the heat of bodies crammed together. She is so enthralled by how the city never sleeps.

Polis truly is a unique sight in itself. 

"Why are there so many people here?" She asks, pointing out the people bustling around them.

"They're most likely setting up for the festival coming up." 

"Will Lexa be back in time?"

Clarke was used to waking up in the morning in her arms, nuzzling herself to the hypnotizing scent of woods and wet dirt. Now, she tried her best to quickly adapt to spending most of her day without anyone for company. (since Anya is usually too busy with the warriors, Luna is too busy exploring and taking in the new Polis, and Niylah too busy with her trading stall in the markets).

The new emptiness in her bed makes her uncomfortable and a bit lonely. 

"Relax, Griff. She's going to be back in about three days, give or take. The most recent update I got is that she will be arriving in Azgeda by next light." 

_  
What if she's not back in time? What if she's horrible injured. What if she-No. That won't happen, she's tough and powerful. She IS THE commander of the thirteen clans. But still...something could've happened to her and I wasn't there for her. I should've just came along with her-_

"You alright there, Griffin? It looks like you're the one that needs a break." 

"I'm fine. I just-" 

"Hey strangers, come along and get some food!" 

Both turn to the voice. A slightly shorter woman about their age waves them over. When they get there, Clarke notices she has some tattoos on the right side of her face. The black ink is like a curved stripe, following down her forehead to the bottom of her cheek. 

"What's your name?" Anya asks.

"I'm Emori," The seller responds. She gestures to her chopping board. "Care for a bite?"

The food, like other meals she tried in Polis, looked very different compared to the food that she eat on the Ark Station. It looked so authentic, homemade, and not artificial. It is perfect but not too fake. The shape of the meat made her scrunch her nose in an attempt to figure out what animal it came from-

"I don't have all day. I got some selling to do." 

"Oh, sorry." Clarke apologizes. "Sure we'll try a bite from you." 

"Wha-what?" Emori sputters out. "Actually?"

"Yeah. Of course." She flashes her a smile. "Anytime." 

"It's just...not much people have ever done that. They usually look at my hand and...." She raises her other hand, which looked overgrown. Most likely an negative mutation in the her genes from the radiation. Anya doesn't looked phased at all, which isn't surprising since she assumes the dirty blonde has seen worse things occur in the past battles. 

Clarke pinches a piece of the meat and throws it in her mouth. Clarke chews on it for a bit, getting used to the texture and the interesting tastes before swallowing it whole. Both of them look at her intensely in order to decipher her reaction to the food. 

A curve of a smile makes Emori exhale in relief. 

"Wow, this tastes amazing." Clarke takes another pinch of the meat. "You should come here more often." She offers to the general to taste for herself. Anya eyes the tempting food but shakes her head as a way of declining. Emori shrugs and continues to chop up more of the mysterious meat. 

"How come I've never seen you here before?" Clarke wonders.

"Oh? Well I'm... just new." She mutters a few other things before busying herself once again.

" _Chit ste disha_?" Anya points to a spot in Emori's shed. (What is this?)

The two of them are immediately conversing in their home language as Emori starts to explain what it is. 

Clarke takes a few lingering glances around Emori's set up. It looked pretty crowded and disorganized in itself. There were some pieces of chains that were dangling from some random parts of the battered up shed. A few papers were nailed to the back with some sloppy handwriting. Large bags were on the side, filled to the brim with random pieces of junk.

_Is she some sort of scavenger? Where is she from? It looks like she was hurried here since the stall looks like it was rushed to be set up._

The sound of a knife hacking into some meat centers her attention back to Emori.

" _Laik yu enti? Disha ste good dina."_ She offers with her good hand to the freshly chopped up food. (Are you hungry? This is good food.) 

"Oh no. _M_ _ochof._ " Anya politely declines once again.

Clarke then notices a scar that wrapped itself around Emori's wrist. _Is she really okay? Was she forced to leave? How did she get tortured? Was it because of her mutation? Or-_

"Hey, what happened to your arm?" Clarke blurts out abruptly. Anya shoots her a glare at her sudden obliviousness. 

Emori shuts her eyes and inhales a shaky breath. "That’s what I got for not staying silent.”

Anya frowns. "What do you mean by that?"

Emori just shakes her head and looks away from the two of them. 

"Would you mind explaining what-"

Emori slams the knife onto the meat. Both of them almost jump in surprise. "My people already hate me for being a _freikdreina_ , but I didn't want it." She blinks quickly to suppress some tears. Her mouth quivers, she bits her lip in attempt to anchor it from shaking even more. "I couldn't take the calling. I got it for not obeying the calling of the red flare."

 _  
The red flare? She repeated it...but what does she mean by that?_ Clarke makes eye contact with Anya, asking with her eyes if she understood what Emori meant by that. Anya shrugs as a response.

Emori rolls up her scarred wrist to conceal it from any other wandering eyes. _I shouldn't have said that in the first place._

"I'm sorry." Anya dips her head. "We shouldn't have gone that far-"

"Here." Clarke rummages through her pockets and puts a generous amount of coins down. "We're sorry to be such a bother. Our sympathy goes out to you." She makes eye contact with Emori, who is still hurting."May we meet again." 

She looks Anya for a cue to and-

"Wait!" Emori reaches out and grips her arm. Clarke's eyes widen in surprise. 

"Whatever you do, don't take it." She pleads. She grips her arm tighter. "Resist and fight them off. Just don't do it." She releases her iron grasp. Her bewildered face told Clarke everything she needed to know. _She probably resisted them when they tried to exile her out._

Before Clarke could respond, Anya tugs at her arm to turn them around. 

_"The calling?"_ Anya asks.

"I have no idea." Clarke responds.

A howl is heard from above. Both of them shoot their heads up. Clarke squints in an attempt to decipher where it came from in the dark sky. Suddenly, they both notice a body is tumbling down at a fast rate. The victim clawed at the air, their piercing cry cut through the calm atmosphere of the markets- 

The body splattered on the ground. People all around emitted gasps at the sudden horror.

Clarke opens her mouth multiple times. "It-it-it came from the-"

"Tower." Anya completes her rambling. "We need to get there now!" 

*****************

“Before we enter the throne room. I’m going to give you my final offer to become the temporary commander.”

Of course she would try to convince her once again. Luna really wished Lexa was here to shut Indra up.

"No.” 

“Luna-“

”That’s my final answer." Luna firmly responds. "Take it or I’ll leave you right here.”

"Fine-“

**BANG!**

The thunderous sound ripped through her ear drums. Luna immediately recognizes the noise. 

"Titus."

She barges through the double doors. 

Her jaw drops at the sight.

Screams filled the room, some lowered their heads and covered their ears. Their backs were pressed against the walls. People were being tossed and turned in the tight space. The others that weren't cowering in fear were baring their teeth and being held back by others from attacking him. She sees the source of the sound. There were whimpers in fear of the foreign weapon being used in front of them.

Near Lexa's throne, stood the flamekeeper raising _her_ gun to the sky. There was a small trail of smoke slowly rising out from it. 

”Titus, what is the meaning off all of this?” 

“Indra, Luna, these Sangeda warriors are trying to take over Polis." People flinch when he lowers the gun. "I had to use lethal force to push them back. It was the only thing I could do.”

  
“So you snooped into someone’s quarters in order to get them." Titus shoots her a glare and tucks the weapon in his robe. Luna gives him a smile. "Skaikru weapons are rare to find, Fleimkeipa.”

Indra takes a look around, her eyes searching the room. “What does Sangeda want that we don't have?”

As if it was on cue, a person with red warpaint streaked on both cheeks parted from the restless crowd and came up to them. “Greetings, general. We believe that the calling from the sky will help ease all of our pain." 

He then frowns. "We wanted Titus to try it out for himself and let us give it to all of Polis, but he is declining us our right!"

People pumped their fists and cheered in support for the ambassador. 

_”Death to the Fleimkeipa!”_

_"He show bow to the flares!”_

_"Take the calling!"_

Luna frowns. _The calling? I've never heard of such a strange thing._ She taps Indra. "What the hell are they talking about?” 

“I don’t know Luna. They’ve all gone insane.”

_”The red flares will burn you all alive-“_

”SILENCE!” Indra shouts. Luna could clearly feel how much anger radiated off of the general. "Have you all gone mad?!” She stomps her foot on the ground. “Explain yourselves now or we will be forced to exile you from here!” 

Quiet chatter and murmurs fill up the room from Indra's threat.

The ambassador shakes his head. "You can’t expel us from here. Sangedakru and Trishanakru warriors will be marching to the capital by next light. They have decided to stay in Polis until the festival starts."

_That's a very polite way of coercing your words. But I wonder how did those the Glowing Forest Clan band up with a blood-ridden clan such as Sandkru to march here? Armies aren't usually allowed within the gates so that there is less intimation during the time of the festival._

Indra emits a low grumbling noise.

"Clever move." She growls. "But you guys can't hide behind your armies. You need to tell them to leave or we will use brute force."

The ambassador shrugs. "Fine. Use brute force. Unless you kill us, which is a crime with the commander, then we won't be able to feel the pain. The red flares will always protect us." 

The peacemaker bites her lip. _Using Lexa's rules against them. Smart laws, but wrong intentions. But how will they not feel pain when they die?_

Someone else pushes through the crowd and comes up to the ambassador. 

"But, sir, what flares?" He asks. 

"Yeah," Luna adds in. "What are you talking about?"

The painted leader just smiles. "The flares guide us to the right path. They are a calling to summon the red lights. They will all help us if everyone in the room takes this." He pulls something out and holds it between his fingers. 

Luna squints her eyes to look at the...object?...what is it even? 

"Here, _ai gona,_ _teik em_." The ambassador offers the strange thing to him. (My warrior, take it.)

However, the curious warrior takes a step back. "No. It looks strange. _Nowe!_ " (Never!) 

The ambassador gives a nod to the crowd and some of his followers break through the masses to hold him in place. _He really has gone mad. And he has a cult full of supporters._

"Hey! _nou disha_!" (Stop this!) He thrashes against the others. 

_What the hell?_

Titus appears in her view as he walks up to them. "Hey, let him go-" The ambassadors shoves him out of his way. 

Luna watches in sheer horror as they push the resistant warrior onto the balcony. They are all pressing him against the rail, ready to push him off the building if told to do so. The ambassador follows suit with the object still in his hand. 

"Take it now, or face death." 

"Never!"

A sudden howl is heard as they all hear someone being kicked hard in the gut.

Luna gasps. 

The screams sliced through the tension as they slowly become faded. _He fell._

"Everyone!" The ambassador storms back inside. "Obey the red flare or face death like he has!" 

The next moments of silence come bearing down on them all. People start talking about whether they should or shouldn't. _So they really are so serious about this new cult about these so called...red flares._

The crowd acts as one and they all fall down to the ground. Luna witnessed with Indra and Titus how they all kneeled to the ambassador and his followers. She shes the grin that spreads around the ambassador's face. He looks so content that they were all obeying his orders. _What the hell is wrong with this guy? He's not just an ambassador, is he? How could he have so much power? Is he following orders from someone else?_

Titus grunts, which brings all the attention to him. "As the flamekeeper, I urge you all to stop what you're doing-"

In a flash a blade presses lightly against his back. "Bow down, Fleimkeipa." One of the followers hisses into his ear. "You serve us now." He glances at her and Indra. Titus's eyes are mixed with defeat and fear. _He better not bow down, or he is a coward to betray Lexa._

But he puts his hands up in surrender, and lowers himself to the ground. _That fool!_ Luna flexes her jaw and clenches her fists. _What an idiot!_ She suppresses all the urges to lunge at him. 

"Should we bow down, peacemaker?" Indra asks, knowing very well of the answer she would give.

"Never." 

"It seems you three are the only one's who haven't kneeled to us." They turn their attention to the ambassador. 

"Luna, keep your guard up. Use your blood as an advantage here." 

_Of course, right when it's a life or death situation Indra really has to put my blood in this conversation._ She tears her gaze off Indra and looks at the people in front of her. _But they could all be under my command. All the possible power I could have in the next moments._

"I am a natblida," She reluctantly speaks. "And I order you to stand down with your men." 

The ambassador walks up to her. " _You are a traitor to the blood line_. We will never obey you-"

"You better shut your sorry little mouth before I seal it shut. I have permission from _Heda_ to rule over Polis under her command." She spits at his face. "You will obey my orders or else you will face death." The air hung thick and heavy between the two of them. She could feel his hot breath on her face. The painted leader emits a low growl as a challenge. Luna stands her ground and grits her teeth.

Time seemed to have stopped in the next passing moments.

The people behind them were holding their breath.

None of them knows who would make the next move. 

"What is going on here?!"

**********  
  


Clarke couldn't believe her eyes.

1\. There were people down kneeling on the floor.

2\. Titus has a blade to his throat. He's also kneeling as well. 

3\. Indra looked very tense.

4\. Luna was sizing herself up against an ambassador who looked like a warlord with his red paint on.

5\. And his...followers...were standing beside him. 

"What is going on here?!" She says. "We saw the person fall from the balcony." 

"I don't know, but they apparently want us to bow down too. They're basically a cult." Indra sneers those last words. 

"Why is everyone bowing down to Sangeda?" Anya grumbles. The general notices the flamekeeper on the floor. "Titus stand up right now!"

Titus slowly starts to move until the warrior shoves him back down on his knees. "Hey! You sit down now or die this instant!" 

The ambassador keeps eye contact with Luna and points to the whimpering crowd. **"You all shall kneel...or die."**

Clarke then notices how Indra flinches. "What's wrong Indra?" 

Her chest rumbles in response. **"I've heard that before."**

"Why are you ignoring our orders?" The ambassador taunts. "Bow down to the calling of the red flares now-"

"SILENCE you fool before I exile you all!" Luna barks.

_Emorislamstheknifeontothemeatmakingthetableshake._

_"Mypeoplealreadyhatemeforbeingafreikdreina butIdidn'twantit._

_ Icouldn'ttakethecallingIgotitfornotobeyingthered flare." _

"Anya, it's what Emori was talking about earlier." Clarke gestures to the people, "She ignored the calling and she got tortured for it. She was forced to leave her home. In order to survive she started to sell junk. That's why she's new to Polis."

Indra walks up to the ambassador and the peacemaker. _Is she trying to relieve the tension in the room?_

"I have my orders from Luna to use force on you so that you can leave." _What is she doing? She's going to get us all killed!_

"I will never back down from a challenge." The leader puffs his chest and crosses his arms. "I can't feel anymore pain thanks to being a follower of the key."

_He said that he can't feel...pain by taking the key...is he talking about a small object or something..._

Clarke gasps.

_When I fought Kane, it was impossible for him to feel Kane. He also tried to convince Raven and I to take the chip!_

"Anya!" Clarke tugs her arm. "They can't feel any pain because they took the key! We need to stop Indra before she-"

Indra smacks the fake warlord across the face. He rubs his reddened cheek and smiles.

The whole area holds their breath. Indra frowns. "What the hell-" 

  


"Indra stand down now!" Clarke orders. Indra reads her fear. Clarke notices her hesitation, but she steps back to show that she obeys her command. 

"Luna, any sign of resistance will trigger them." Indra warns to the peacemaker. "We have to surrender." 

"There's no way I'm obeying whatever their doing." Clarke sensed the slight darkness in her tone. 

"We'll find a way. We always have." Clarke pleads. "We just need to wait until Lexa comes back to sort this out." 

The warriors grab Luna and shove her toward Titus. "Don't worry. They'll be spared." The ambassador says. "We just need you two."

Everyone's eyes bear down on herself and Anya. "You guys have disrupted the calling for so long."

_What do they mean by that-_

Anya gets kneed from behind. Her back gives out and she cries, collapsing on all fours. She barely has any time to render what's happening when a fist collides with her face.

_They knocked her out! No!_

"Anya!" Clarke didn't have any time to run before strong hands pin her arms to her back. 

"Indra!" Clarke squirms in an attempt to escape. "Go get Lexa! They only want us!" 

"Lexa won't save you. The Red Flares will." The followers hold her still. The ambassador comes face to face with her. "You're the one that we want. Sky girl."

Something very powerful knocks her out of her senses. She collides against the ground. 

And all she could see is the darkness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're wondering "What is going on?" I have no idea either. 
> 
> (Just kidding...unless??)


	22. Volatile Activity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past collides with the present.  
> \--  
> Everything starts to make sense.  
> \--  
> They meet the person that the commander resents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter that took longer than one sitting? Yup. 
> 
> I got really inspired by the multiple plots and storylines of Season 7 so that's why there are so many POV's and perspectives that all interlace together in some way. Yes, I said it. I watched the 100 after 3x07. I suppressed the flashbacks of Titus and his gun and pushed through...but literally jumped at every Lexa mention.

_Fall: to drop or descend under the force of gravity, as to a lower place through loss or lack of support._

**DING!**

The metal sliding panels were dragging themselves to open up. Slowly but surely they would.

But they didn't have time to wait.

Hands pried the doors open. Sinclair pushed through, while the two other engineers tumbled out of the elevator. Hands on their knees, the two attempted to catch up to their breath, their chests rising and falling quickly. The minute they read those words on the big screen, they sprinted out and ran like mad men. They were in a dilemma of their own; the upload is complete, which meant that anytime soon the City would be malfunctioning like crazy. Their last hope is to trace back to the roots to see how they can stop everything from happening. 

"The door..to..outside!" Monty pants, sweat trinkled down his forehead. "We need to get out...there to shut down...the main generators-"

"I know that!" Raven snaps, her eyes blazing with a sudden anger. "Just stop pointing out the obvious!" She brushes past Monty and heads toward the entrance, her jaw flexed and her eyebrows furrowing.

”Raven, wait!”

She spins around.

“If you’re going to ask me why I couldn’t hack the codes in time, you might as well do it now!” She resisted the urge to just storm off and abandon them. She grits her teeth together. She shuts her eyes and balls her fists up. "I get it! I failed us all! I'm..." She pinches the bridge of her nose and takes in a shaky breath. "I'm..sorry." 

Raven Reyes never made mistakes in her life...well other than the time she broke into a lab and got caught stealing medicine for her drunk mother. But nothing compared to what had happened upstairs. She wanted to run away. To hide somewhere where she couldn't be found. The waterfalls of shame came falling on her, drenching her skin and dampening all of her clothing, constantly reminding her of her stupid...stupid...mistake of misidentifying a fatal virus. _Why? Why is it when everything is perfect something terrible has to happen?_

The first time when everything was perfect is when Project Exodus was about to be complete. The 100 were going to be sent to the ground, and then everything came crumbling down in ruins. Now, this time, when they were all peacefully in heaven and visiting the City of Light as an entertainment outlet, a virus had to screw all of it up. Her fate and luck didn't go well go together. 

  
A hand grips her shoulder, Sinclair, most likely. “No, were not going to say that. Don’t be so harsh on yourself, Reyes. That virus knew what it was doing.”   
  
  


_Was he only saying that in order to pity me?_ _I let this whole damn city down. I ruined everything. How is he forgiving me!_

"We will solve all of this.” Sinclair reassures her, knowing that she was doubting herself once again. "We will work all of this craziness out. Mark my words."

The warm hues from the colored sky outside touched their skin. It's rays punctured through the lobby windows, coloring the floor below them as well. Along with Sinclair's reassuring words, the red from the sky calmed her down as well. Raven gives a him a weak smile. Hey, maybe it wasn't entirely her fault. Sinclair could be right on that one; the weird Trojan virus fooled them all. After being used to carrying the fate of everyone on her shoulders while fixing major repairs, it wasn't so bad to not take the blame. But it felt weird to do so at the same time. The uneasy feeling churned in her stomach, warming up her chilled insides. 

The tapping of Monty's feet on the ground signaled that they had to leave. "Guys we really need to-"

"Look out!" 

_Oh fuc-_

The sound of glass shattering numbs her ears. She forced her eyes shut and braced for impact; the deadly shards rained on her and pierced through her bare skin. She is slammed hard onto the floor. She can't even hear her cries of pain through a loud humming that rang through her ears from the impact. When her eyes fluttered open she saw that the ground was scattered with broken tiles, shards, rocks. The floor is cracked. Through her semi-foggy vision, she could barely decipher that a tire crashed through the lobby windows. 

"....raven....!" 

".....areyouokay!" 

"....damnit!" 

Strong hands help her off the ground and push her against an un-shattered lobby window. She cries out when her sore back touches the glass.

"Raven!" 

"ssssSinclair?" She croaked out. He shakes her again in an attempt to keep her awake.

"We need to leave here before it gets worse!" He took a look at her leg. "You're horribly bruised." 

"I am not bruis-Ow!" She winces in an attempt to move her leg. _Fucking great._ When she got slammed sideways her back took most of the hit. She assumed that she fell in a weird position, cause now her leg felt awful. _That goddamn piece of rubber._

"Right." Raven grunts. She peels herself from the wall and sighs. "Lead the way, boss." She stood up right for a second until she started to wobble on her good leg. The other engineer rushed to her side. 

"Here, I'll help you out." Monty hoisted one of her arms around his shoulder to help her leg. They limped to the door. 

When they got outside...

**It looked like hell on Earth.**

Cars were crushed and thrown like toy vehicles.

The streets were cracked; the zigzagging lines tore through the perfectly created cement.

The buildings surrounding them looked like they were punching bags; their eroded foundation appearing in some parts of itself.

The ground beneath her feet started to shake.

Screams pierced through the air, people were panicking, clutching onto one another as debris is flung around like it weighed nothing. The fallen city is quickly collapsing within the mere minutes of the upload being complete. It is all so bittersweet; the sight of all the different things coming into play, all of the velocity, distance, rate, and immeasurable speed of the forces colliding together. All this chaos thrown at her was an engineer's paradise and nightmare at the same time. 

"Look up there!" Monty gasps, pointing with his free at whatever is above.

Raven parts her lips in awe as her eyes are locked onto the sky. The wind howled against her ear drums. The unforgiving current pushes against her, forcing herself to root her feet to the ground. A maroon beam shot up to the heavens above, touching the entire atmosphere. The neighboring clouds were circling around the dark aura, causing it to look so beautiful...yet so terrifying.

_What the hell have I done? What the hell have I caused?_ _I did this. I destroyed everything. This is what I ruined._ _We had one shot and I screwed up and-_

A person runs into them and tears Monty away from herself.

"Ow, watch it-" Raven stops when she recognizes who that person is. 

"Sorry!" The guy puts his hands up. He pauses as well.

_"Bellamy?"_

"Raven?"

"Are you okay?"

"Of course not! The city is falling down as we speak!" He desperately says. "I tried to save some people from being hit but it was too late!"

"Wait." Monty says. "Raven said we could come back here if we die in the city. Can't we respawn here?" 

"Something must have happened," Bellamy points to the chaos behind them. **"Because once you die here you can't revisit this place anymore."**

_What? Did he say those words right? You can't respawn here anymore?_

Realization dawned on her. This place is no longer a video game that they could toy with anymore. The remaining people all had one life before this thing collapses. Raven Reyes was used to high stakes, but not ones that were this high; she only had one chance to fix things or this whole entire technological universe would crumble in shambles. 

**No pressure, right?**

Well shit. 

* * *

"Auxiliary Power Initiated."

She flinched when the lights flicked on, one by one. Echo squinted against the sudden brightness. After entering the hallway from outside, she found herself in an office of sorts. The sight almost made her eyes dizzy; all the strange things that appeared in front of her were completely different to the huts and villages she is so accustomed to. Papers were scattered across the table, viles and beakers of all sorts were cluttered upon bookshelves. 

Up ahead, the office opened up to an even bigger area. There was a staircase with black railings that led down to an open space. Everything looked perfect and organized, oh and very white. The giant overhead lights were hanging far ahead, helping brighten up the intriguing laboratory. She goes up to the railing and traces her hand across the dark steel fence. The texture of the smooth metal felt cool against her fingertips. 

"What is this place?"

"This is all the workings of the first commander, Becca Pramheda." Madi says, appearing beside her. "She built this place for her research and findings." 

"Becca Pramheda is Skaikru, right?" 

"She came from the sky, just like Wanheda. So yes, she is indeed apart of them." 

Madi gently grabs her wrist and guides her down to the bigger area. There were screens on both sides of the bigger area, busying themselves with lab findings of all sorts; each screen displayed different things that felt so alien to her. _Skaikru. It's always Skaikru._ She thought, while taking various mental notes of her surroundings. 

"Why did she build such a place like this on an island filled with...these drones?" She asks. 

"Becca Pramheda built those drones for security reasons, if you were an intruder then they would've scared you off. She's protecting what is her's. After all, she is the first person to bear the flame. The first natblida, the first commander, the first everything. Our legacy started with her." Madi sounded more like a tour guide rather than a teenager. The commanders really did want Echo on their side. But how come her? Why not someone else?

"But how come you were the only one spoken to? Why not the other natblidas?" 

"It's because I was the closest one to your lab. And knowing the Fleimkeipa's, they would want to keep seeing me until I came with them to Polis. The commanders went to visit me in my dreams and told me that you guys were coming; they know that flamekeepers always bring a guard with them to protect them. When Gaia told you to keep watch on the island..." Madi trails off for Echo to play along.

"....that was your cue to come over to me." Echo finishes. "Smart move, kid." 

Madi beckons for her to follow as they walk up to a desk with a computer in the middle of the room. There was a chair beside it, but Echo decided to stand. 

"This is what she wanted me to show you. I knew you were the only person that could take down these drones, I haven't seen any of this myself." Madi pushes a few buttons on the keyboard and it comes to life. There was a play button in the middle with a lady looking like she was about to say something. The natblida taps it again to see what happens and it restarts. 

**SECRET TAPE: CONFIDENTIAL VIEWING ONLY**

Echo took a step back when a finger appeared to be tapping the camera. 

"Hello? _Is this thing working?" A woman scrunches her nose in an attempt to focus on the lens._

"That's her." Madi smiles. 

_"Okay, good. I am here to show you my latest breakthrough in my experiments." She tilts the camera to a table scattered with a few objects. "These are the beginning stages of creating my Artificial Intelligence that will save the world. Her name is A.L.I.E and I'm so pleased to be doing all of this so that-"_

_"Becca when are you done!" A voice piped in from out of the frame. She frowns at the direction of the voice._

_"Peri, I'm almost done. Also, could you remind me to upload and send tapes down to my lab on Earth?"_

_"Sure thing!"_

_She grabs hold of the camera. "End tape 1."_

  
The next frame showed her in a different light. Defeat washed over her entire body; her shoulders were slumped, her eyes were baggy, and the bright spark in her eyes in the previous tape wasn't seen here at all. Echo wondered what had happened from the time that she created the...artificial intelligence or whatever to where she looked like at the moment. From the legends she's heard of, the first commander helped establish their society and was a determined prophet or savior. The lady on the screen showed a different light of herself. 

_"A-A.L.I.E. didn't work at all..." She bites her lip and is seen deep in reflection. "....she....she destroyed the world, saying that there were too many people."_

_"I...don't know how this happened..." She shakes her head and lets out a long exhale._

_"Anyways...End Tape 2."_

_The third tape begins and Becca is hastily writing some things down on a notebook._ _"This was my first attempt at creating A.L.I.E. 2.0, because A.L.I.E. failed." She tosses the notebook behind her._ _"It didn't know what it is like to be human; it didn't understand our nature, our ways, our emotions. I made the mistake of making it a conscious A.I. without further programming it. I will show that by making it unconscious, it will be able to understand how we think, and how we act biologically."_ _She holds a blurry object with a red streak around it. The camera adjusts and it comes into full focus._

Echo gasps.

"I've seen that before." She says. Madi turns to her with a frown. 

"How? That's impossible-"

_"No one knows of this yet, but this is a rough draft." Becca flicked it with her fingers a few times in an attempt to activate it. "It failed to reactivate itself. **And it also doesn't work with the night blood serum I've created since it works on regular blood as well. I'm going to start creating another version of A.L.I.E. 2.0.** I don't want any of this to screw up, no matter what it takes. But all I know is that I'm glad that there is some trial and error, otherwise I wouldn't be able to get rid of A.L.I.E." _ _She sets it down on the table and moves out of view._ _And then comes back with a small container._

_"Okay so I invented this chip maker that will help produce these little objects..." She opens it up, and shows camera a bunch of other smaller objects. "That will take away one's pain. I'm showing these findings to this camera in case some future scientists will find this footage. I kept this on Earth in my lab so that no one would throw it away in space."_

_"End tape 3."_

_"Hello. It's the next day, and I realized that when I made the rough draft of A.L.I.E. 2.0, the coding was also drafted and programmed in the chip maker._ _That's why it has produced some null chips as well. So I have to restart again."_

_"End tape 4."_

_The camera is focused a wire that is connecting the red-ish object to a computer screen. Becca's footsteps are heard in the background, pacing non stop around the screen._ _"I'm adding onto the last video. According to my calculations and set up on my computer, anyone who takes this will feel corrupted and feel like they have seen red - or at least that's what the coding tells me." The camera is then picked up by Becca herself. She bites her tongue and looks busy in thought._

_"I might call it the dark version since it's the draft. Anyways, end tape 4 part two."_

_Suddenly, the entire set up of the next part changes. Becca is fumbling to put on a few buckles while wearing her astronaut suit. "Those null ones should be stored in the lab near the bottom of this screen on this desk. They are stashed there. Whatever you do please throw those bad ones out. If you have done so please delete the next recording."_

Echo notices a container that she just described with her directions and grabs it. When she opens it up, she realizes it’s empty. No, that can't be right. 

"Madi? Has someone thrown it away?"

"I don't know-"

_"If you're seeing this, then I am here to remind you to throw away the drafted ones. I can't let anyone get to them. Delete this clip immediately._ _This is goodbye for now. May we meet again._ _End tape 6."_

Echo's eyes go wide and she drops the container, letting it fall onto the floor. 

"Echo?" Madi grips her shoulders. "What is it?" 

The spy shakes her head, avoiding eye contact. She sees the empty container on the ground.

"Someone else was here before us, and they stole it from the lab for themselves.”

* * *

"Wakey...wakey...."

Her eyelids slowly lifted up. Her fogged up vision could barely make out anything that was in her frame of viewing. When she blinked a few times, she noticed where she currently was. The condensed and slightly toasted air entered her nostrils, filling her lungs with a warmth. She was in a kneeling position for some reason. The cold floor felt different. It was like she was underground or at the bottom floor somewhere. 

Oh wait. 

She was dragged into the basement of the Polis tower. 

Aggravated chants from the warriors surrounded her. Her throat dried up, her eyes went wide, she started to tremble. She wanted to flee so badly, but an irritation from her hands pushed those thoughts aside. 

Her wrists were sore, she gazed downwards and saw that her hands were handcuffed with loose chains. She could walk, but the clinking of the restraints reminded her that she would be easily defeated without any weapons or the ability to move her freely.

The torches that were lit up in the room emitted a cozy feeling that she couldn't quite figure out.

When she focused on the background, bile started to build up in her throat. There were multiple dead bodies that were slumped against the four corners of the room. The disgusting stench made her scrunch her nose to prevent the horrid smell of corpses from entering her nostrils. A mixture of dark maroon and red liquid was drizzling down the dark cement all around her. It soaked the bodies with a strange mixture of dry and fresh blood. _It seems like they weren't the only ones that died there._ She shuddered at the possibilities of how they were slaughtered, her mind betraying and picturing all the ways of how they met their slow deaths. 

_I need to leave, but it's impossible to do so! I-I can't figure out how I got here. Now I'm surrounded by these warriors. Where is Anya? I really hope Lexa is coming back soon to fix this chaos. How did I get here?_

A figure with red war paint stood in front of her. Her steel armor is splattered in the blood from the walls. The cheering of her followers hummed in the background and sent goosebumps trickling down her arms. _She did all of this? Is she the leader of the red flare cult? What the hell is wrong with her?_

“So nice to see that you’re finally accepting your fate.”

The crowd parted as some other corrupted guards shoved Anya into the circle. She was also cuffed with chains like her own. When the general saw the armored girl, an intense rage coursed through her entire body. 

"You again! I thought you were dead!" Anya hissed. "You're a liar, cheater, and now a killer!" 

Clarke is afraid, but she couldn't show it to the excited crowd; it would fuel their chaos to torture her even more. 

She looked the warlord dead in the eye. "Who the hell...are you?" 

"Oh you don't even know who I am?" The girl grins evilly. "Well, I'm your worst nightmare. And we're going to have so much fun together."

* * *

**Have no clue what is going on? Here's a guide to help explain things.**

Alternate Timeline Explained Better: Becca made a rough draft of A.L.I.E. 2.0 (Aka. the flame). Along with that, she made a rough copy of the chip maker that helps people connect to it better. Followers of the red flare took the bad copies of the chip, and are being led by their leader. I decided to put red everywhere since it is a symbolic color for danger. And A.L.I.E's avatar wears a red dress. The attempted merging means that the old flame is active since a "special someone" decided to wear it for herself. Digitally, it is trying to take over and combine with the City of Light, which is what the new Flame and it's chips created.

  
This is why “Technical Difficulties” are causing chaos in the digital realm. 

When Bellamy said that they couldn't respawn there anymore, it's because the merging caused major glitches and disrupted major connections to heaven and Earth. 

Becca's Alternate Path: Polaris went through temporary repairs, so Becca stays in the Ark Station for a bit before departing back to it. In that time, she presents her findings. (Polaris is unattached and the missiles still shoot it down). Everything else is canon - The events that happen to her in 7x08 and 3x07 with Becca are still true

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The buildup keeps getting better and better. 
> 
> I'm starting to get better at my descriptions. I'm glad this is a draft though.


	23. Wolves (by MISSIO)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A character makes an appearance.
> 
> Clarke and Anya are stuck in a horrible dilemma and have only one option.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up! We’re going on a ride again! Here’s another 4500 (ish) chapter full of intense content. Enjoy while I almost sleep on my keyboard :)
> 
> Thank you AnansiAnansi for your words of encouragement :)

**Chapter title is inspired by this song by[Missio](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sjJ2FR4bBU)**

_Somebody turned the lights out_

_The wolves are watching_

_This world will eat your heart out_

_[Because] the wolves are watching_

**XXIV: Wolves**

Her horse snorted and shook it's head, shaking away the snowflakes that were falling down from above. A gust of the chilled winds tickled her face. It gently touched her skin with it's cold fingers, sending a small shiver down her body. The branches all around hung low with the weight of the snow.

She could easily see her breath whenever she exhaled, the heat escaping her mouth and mixing with the air. Taking note of how deep they were into Azgedan territory, the temperature dropped significantly the further they went in the barren lands. 

"We should be arriving there soon," Gustus breaks the silence beside her. "Ontari would be awaiting your presence soon after negotiating with a Trikru general." 

"About time," Lexa replies. "We took the longer trail, so I expect us to take a lot less time on the way back."

She was a tad bit annoyed by how long it took them just to get here. Three days at the least. It usually didn't take that much time, but they had to make a few detours to check up upon neighboring villages nearby. 

She notices Gutus furrowing his brow, his shoulders were tense. Lexa knew exactly what he was thinking about.

After the final war, he was still very skeptical about whether or not they would get Azgeda's trust back once again. 

"Nou get yu daun, Gostos. Bilaik yu don tel ai otaim, ogeda hukop ste ifi." She speaks in her native tongue. (Stop worrying Gustus. Like you've always told me, all alliances are risky.)

He peers up, the flakes slowly drift down towards them from the light grey up above.

"Dison nou ste seim taim oso teik twelv kru-de kongeda o skai kru. Disha Azgeda ste nouseim en full gon spicha. Mebi na teik oso kongeda au taim emo strike." (This is not the same as uniting the twelve clans, or the sky people. Azgeda is different and full of liars. It could kill our coalition if they strike.)

"Oso kongeda, o ai?" She raises her brow, curious for his answer. (Our coalition, or me?)

"Yu sou laik kongeda-de, Heda." Gustus looks at her with affirmation. (You are the coalition, commander.) 

Lexa snorts.

"Den dula yu du en shil ai op." She shoots back. (Then do your job and protect me.)

"Sha, Heda."

With that, he doesn't speak anymore on the subject. 

The thin dark trees clear up a bit and gave way to the entrance. To their surprise, the palace gates were already open. Lexa expected a few guards to be posted there to escort them inside while keeping watch, but there is no one to be found. _Strange,_ She thought. _Is this Ontari being lazy, because I can't afford to deal with a branwoda of a leader._

She ignores other doubtful thoughts and makes her way inside.

It is truly obvious that something is completely off. Rivers of dry blood were staining the streets with a dark maroon color. She could barely pick out the usual beige and grey that colored the ancient pathways. The amount of red almost overwhelmed the commander. Thankfully, the cold is able to suppress the awful smell of rotting metal down below.

"Gustus, what is this?" She asks, still studying the drenched roads. 

"I'm not sure Heda, but something must have happened here. The last time I came here under Ontari's ruling it was a lot different." 

There were supposed to be people peeking through their doors with a brightness in their eyes in hushed chatters, talking quietly of the commander and her party. However, the few people that dared to leave their huts were flushed white with fear. They were chattering their teeth and tensing up so tight. These people weren't cold from the harsh winters, they were used to the unforgiving weather: they were all whimpering about other things. The surrounding eyes bore into her soul glinting with dread and horror. _What has happened while I was on my way here? Death? Murder?_

Just to pass through the torn up central was enough for the commander to feel out of place here, arriving too late at a scene that she could've prevented had the party arrived earlier. The faces of the villagers told their own stories with their facial expressions. Her conclusion that something has gone wrong here is further confirmed when she sees an awful sight near the palace entrance. There were various guards that were crumpled on the ground with swords stuck to their chests. Lexa tried not to stare too much into their life less eyes. _Who slaughtered all of these people? And why did they only want the guards?_

Gustus tells the guards behind them to stay at the palace entrance. He gets off his horse first, following with Lexa shortly after. She almost cringed when her feet touched the colored ground. She tightens a few straps to stall time, her mind is scrambling to figure out everything she had just seen. 

"If the queen caused this she will pay with her life," Gustus growls. "Ai nou wich em oup, Heda." (I don't trust her, Commander)

"Osir nou get in chon dula dison, Gostos. Kep yu blinka au." (We don't know who did this. Keep your eyes open)

Gustus led the way inside palace, shielding the commander by being in front. The hallways were lit up by torches to help guide their way down toward the throne entrance. 

"Set raun weron yu ste kamp. I'm going inside." She orders. (Stay where you are.) 

"But Heda-"

"Gustus, you shall protect me by staying here. I am going to see if she's hiding behind her throne like a coward, _if she is even here_." 

"Sha, Heda." 

Lexa clutches the doorknob, feeling Gustus's lingering gaze, and pushes through inside. She turns around to shut the door, but the awful mixed stench made her shut her eyes.

She fanned herself for a moment before opening her eyes to see-

She gasps.

_What in Keryon's name?_

The horror of it all drained the color off her face. 

The bodies all around her were crumpled like dead insects; laying limp and lifeless. their lips were chapped to the point of cracking, their skin was pale. The gash wounds that they all had were covered by all the blood that soaked their bodies. Some were mildly tolerable, while others looked horrifying to see: torn limbs barely attached to their corpses, chests ripped open, bones sticking out and... _Holy shit._

There was so much going on in the room that it looked almost unrecognizable. She couldn’t believe her eyes at what she is seeing. She curled up her fists as they tremble uncontrollably. The sight of it all made her speechless; no words came out of her mouth. She, the commander, who knows everything, couldn't even accept the sight of this...

A groaning noise cut her out of her thoughts. There was Ontari, bounded to the throne with some tight ropes. There were multiple slash wounds across her face, but the blood that trickled out seemed a little dry. 

"Ontari?" Lexa rushes to her side. She cups her face to study the wounds. "What the..."

"Leksa....no..." She croaks. Her eyes were hooded, struggling to stay awake. "It's too...late..." 

"Hey! Stay with me," She takes a quick glance around before looking back at her. "What happened here?"

"It's...her...she...their...in...Polis..."

"Who is?"

"Th..e...dark...fl-fla..me.."

"The dark flame?-“

_Oh...._

_No. No. No._

_Oh no. Oh no. Oh no._

The door suddenly barges open.

Lexa whips her head to the sound.

It was Indra. 

"Lexa, Polis has fallen. Some weird cult has taken over the tower. It’s unstable and we need you back there now.”

_Is Clarke safe? Is everyone safe?_

"What about -"

"They have Clarke and Anya as hostages." 

_It was all a diversion tactic._ She realizes. _They got to Ontari, used her as bait to lure me in so that they could capture Polis for themselves. I was so foolish to march here!_

"Those people tricked me into coming here to Azgeda! We're taking the quickest way back! Now!" 

* * *

_Thirst: the physical condition resulting from this need, in any of various degrees._

The long chains in between her handcuffs gave Clarke a bit of freedom to move her arm and hands to a certain extent. Measuring the length of it...it could probably only stretch it to span across both her arms, but that was about it. She wanted to try for herself, but right now she was stuck in a life or death situation. 

The evil girl in front of her had a plastered smile on. Her eyes were bloodshot and full of hatred. She'd never even seen such a gaze in her life, not even in any of the horror movies that she watched on the Ark Station. _This is a monster gazing at me, not a human._ Clarke thought, _what the hell is her problem, and why does she want to ruin something that Lexa worked so hard for - and why me?_

  
"What do you want from me?" Clarke asked.

The warlord chuckles. "A lot, really. But I'll keep it short." 

_"We should kill her first!"_

_"Death to the general!"_

_"The commander can't save you! Only the flares can!"_

"Silence! All of you!" She booms. "I'm in charge here! Before you try to protest I brought you here for a reason, and it is not to interrupt me! I am your leader and I am here to guide you all to-"

"I thought you were dead!" Anya cuts her off.

"That is a lie, my friend. They almost killed me, until I found the red flame and took it for myself." 

_"Attack the general!"_

_"She's resisting the calling like that freikdreina!" (Mutant)_

"Hei! Don't make me slit your throats for not obeying me like the others!" She hisses at the crowd. Then goes back to the two of them. "Look Clarke and Anya, I just want you to explain....how you managed to disrupt the dream portals?"

"Dream portals?" Clarke turns to Anya. "I have no idea what you're talking about-"

The warlord cups Clarke's chin hard, her nails dig deep and almost break into her skin. "You better stop pretending to play dumb, Princess." Her heated breath touches her skin, indicating her aggression. "Lexa isn't going to save you know. After all, she's all the way in Azgeda." Clarke hisses at the pain but doesn't break eye contact with the bloodthirsty cult leader.

From the corner of her eye she saw an angry Anya. 

"You'll never get away this time you sly branwoda! You're going to pay for this! You so will." Anya yells. The warlord lets go of her iron grip on Clarke's face. 

"Anya don't fight back! She only wants me!" Clarke pleads. "You can't say anything. Don't tell her what she wants to know about your discoveries!" 

"Wrong. Both of you were detected by the Dark Flame." She replies. “Now that you toyed with my goals. You won't mind if Anya gets killed." 

Anya is pushed toward Clarke from the guards. The sound of the leader's sword being unsheathed rings through the air. The anger is quickly washed away by a wave of fear. There's no way that Anya would be killed here, it would be all her fault. 

"No! No! Don't kill her!" Clarke says with wide eyes. 

The warlord frowns at Clarke. "And why should I change my mind so soon?"

"Take me." She begs. "I am soaked in Grounder blood. I burned more than three hundred people alive in the ring of fire." 

Costia pauses, she notices Anya struggling helplessly against the guards. She then lowers her sword. "Guards, take off all of Anya's chains." They do as instructed without saying a single word of protest. _Strange._

The warlord then goes up to Clarke and takes off **one** of her handcuffs. "I won't kill her. And I won't kill you." Relief starts to pour into her system. The guards then drag Anya to be close to Clarke, facing each other. Maybe Clarke was getting to them. Maybe Raven was doing something from the City of Light that resisted the Dark flame from breaching the digital realm up above.

**"But you will."**

A click is heard, she attaches Clarke's long cuff to Anya's hand.

"What-"

"We will only know who is in charge of disrupting the calling if you guys fight each other. _Solo gonplei._ But since you don't have swords you have have to try to knock each other out." 

Anya tugs at the chain, noticing that Clarke's cuffed arm moves in her direction while doing so. "And if there's a winner?"

"There is no winners here. You're not heroes of this war." She points out. "We spare the innocent and take them under our arms for our cause. But as for the guilty..." The lights in the room slightly get darker, making her look more fierce and powerful, as if she had all the control here and they were just helpless puppets under her spell. "Jus drein, jus daun. Jus drein, jus daun..." 

_"Jus drein, jus daun! Jus drein, jus daun! Jus drein, jus daun! Jus drein, jus daun!"_

Clarke and Anya are now both in front of each other, with the warriors all around them. The chain in between them reminds them that they have no choice but to fight each other. The warlord disappears into the riled up crowd. The noises surrounds them, wrapping them in the tight air, trapping them with the words. Over and over again they repeated that phrase of their scarred past. _They were the exact opposite of Lexa's motto_ of Blood must not have blood. They were trying to push away all the progress that the Commander made, reversing back to original grounder culture. Sweat quickly trickled down her face, her heart drummed against her ears, accelerating at a fast rate. _Lexa might be coming back by now. She should be, because I can't take this anymore._

"Clarke!" Anya shouts over their voices. "We have to battle it out!"

_"Jus drein, jus daun! Jus drein, jus daun!"_

"No, Anya!" Clarke replies. "We have to think of another way." 

"We're chained together, we give her what she wants. But we must kill time. We do it for Lexa!" 

"Anya-"

Anya pulls Clarke to herself with the chain. _Oh n-_

She jabs her across the face. Clarke stumbles back, with one hand pressing against her throbbing cheek. She glares at the general. _Oh so that's how you want to do it?_

Clarke uses both hands to yank the chain downwards. Anya yelps and slams onto the floor face first. 

The general grumbles and gets back up, her nose and mouth is smeared with red. The dark liquid trickles down her nose at a fast rate. _Now is my chance._

Clarke charges at her with her handcuffed arm raised, ready to attack until-

Anya yanks her forward with the chain and knees her hard. The pain seized her lungs for a few seconds, gripping them so tight that Clarke chokes out a cry, her insides are screaming, feeling like she punctured a massive hole through her organs. 

She clutches her stomach, wincing in pain. Her senses snapped and she moved away from Anya's fist. Before Clarke could even register the dodge, however, another blow to her chest, sent a rush of pain through her skin. She doesn't stagger back this time.

Anya shouts a battle cry and dives at Clarke. They both fall to the ground entangled together. She straddles Clarke and grips her collar, their faces dangerously close together. "You're going to have to do better than that to show that you're as strong as me." 

Clarke glares back in a challenge. “Oh I will.” 

She grips her shoulders and slams her on the ground. Anya howls out in pain, but Clarke pins her arms before she has the chance to strike once again. "You're mine now-"

Anya butts foreheads and shoves her back up. 

Clarke uses the momentum from the chain and pulls Anya to herself. She then kicks her hard in the ribs.

Anya almost doubles over.

Clarke uses that to her advantage and jerks her forward. She spins, Her arm encircles around her friend's head and puts her in a tight headlock, but not in a suffocating manner.

Anya trashes against her, but is useless in doing so. 

"Clarke...You have to do it...for...Lexa..." Anya pants. "Knock...me...out-"

  
_"Show's not over! Keep fighting or I will slaughter you both!"_

"Anya. I don't want to do this to you." Clarke says close to her ear. 

"I need...to...meet...Raven." 

_Oh. It makes sense. I have to knock her out so that she can visit Raven in her unconsciousness._ She reluctantly obeys. She uses all of her remaining strength to lift Anya up. She throws her on the ground, getting jerked toward her. 

The chain snaps in the process. She falls on top of Anya. 

  
Clarke then rolls up the remainder of the chain in her fist, pulling Anya incredibly close to her with her other hand. The general groans, but gives a tiny nod and closes her eyes in acceptance of her fate.

"I'm sorry." Clarke whispers.

She raises her balled up fist and smacks her hard with the metal. Anya’s eyes roll to the back of her head and she slumps in the ground. 

The warriors howled for the victor of the duel. But Clarke knew that winning didn’t mean anything in this battle. It was rather more of a defeat, actually.

"Well done." The leader makes her way through the crowd, standing in front of her. "I'm Costia, if you haven't noticed from Anya's hinting."

Wait, what? 

The cult leader - or whoever she is, is the idiot that broke Lexa's heart? Isn't she supposed to be dead? 

"Y-You're Costia? As in-"

"Yes. I'm Lexa's ex-girlfriend. And if you think that I'm mad at her for dumping me in front of Luna and Echo, you're wrong. As I was saying, the Dark Flame will soon take over the City of Light." Clarke then feels hands press against her throat, she gasps at the quick loss of air and clutches at Costia's arms in an attempt to pry them off. "You delayed the merging because you managed to make contact with the dead!"

Costia then hauls her up like she weighs nothing and throws her at the wall. 

_What the-_

Clarke's back slams against the concrete. The searing pain shoots up her spine. 

"You almost ruined everything for me!" Costia presses her against the wall, her eyes blazing with a sudden anger. 

_They probably know because Raven and Abby visited me._ _This means I have to stall and do whatever it takes._

"S-s-speaking about ruining stuff..." She starts out. "You also c-cheated on Lexa, ruining your own relationship so that makes up for why you dumped her, you manipulative monster." 

The room is filled with hushed whipsers. No one dares to make a move. 

_Are you an idiot? Now you're going to make her even more furious._

"What the hell did you just say to me?" Costia says. "You have some nerve to trash talk me when your life is on the line."

She yanks her forward with the chains and her knee collides with her stomach. All the air gets sucked out of her lungs. 

The warriors are riled up in support of Costia attacking Clarke.

The background noises started to fade in and out of her ears. White dots decorate her vision. She loses balance and and collapses on all fours.

"On your knees, Clarke. Now." 

She makes an effort to tilt her up. 

_I...have...to make..costia mad. They can't get in the City of Light, not now._

"Funny how you...think you can do whatever you...want with me." She slowly rises up and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. "I **bet you were told that a lot when you were with Lexa-"**

Costia grips her by the collar.

"You think this is all a goddamn game to you?" She shakes her. "I will torture you until you start begging for Lexa, like how you do when she fucks you and puts you in your place." 

Now that was way too far. Rage builds up inside Clarke's chest, constricting her airways and limiting her breathing. It's almost at a breaking point when she notices Costia's evil trademark smirk appearing on her lips. She had no right to talk about Lexa like that, saying that she would fuck her by putting her in her place and forcing her to submit. Costia meant to get under her skin, and unfortunately it worked. Clarke didn't care if she was supposed to hold it together - no one, not even Titus or Anya would be able to badmouth her lover and get away with it. And now she had the audacity to do so in front of an audience. _Oh no you didn't._

The frustration coursed through her veins.

Clarke shoves her back hard. "Don't you dare talk about my relationship with Lexa like that ever again! You want something that will make you more powerful. Something that I have that you don't, so don't you mention her or I won't say anything!" Costia almost flinches at her response, hell, the whole room almost did. But, Costia doesn't seemed phased one bit.

"Very well, if you think this is all a stupid game to you. You're going to watch the City of Light burn." She looks at the guards behind her. "Chain her up again. I’ll take care of her myself." 

  
  


* * *

It was too much for her to handle, the Dark Flame gave Costia so much strength that her punches and blows were so harsh. The ground swayed beneath her, the room started to spin. She stumbles and attempts to grip at the air for anything to hold her still. Her eyes lids became heavy. The new chains were being dragged with her weight as she wobbled back and forth. 

There were no warriors to cheer Costia on; they were all meditating. The room is filled with a different type of silence. It seems as if time slowed down entirely, as if nothing every happened in the basement. Clarke wondered if they were invading City of Light, not feeling any pain like she did now-

“Tell me the PASSPHRASE!”

Costia’s fist collides with her face, almost cracking her nose. Blood spurt out of her nostrils. The stinging sensation started to feel numbing.   
  


”I told you...” Clarke groans. “I...don’t...know...”

  
Her gaze drifts toward the unconscious general general; Anya layes limp on the ground, most likely helping Raven by her side, trying her best to aid her in the digital city above. She’d rather be with Raven as well. But she bore the pain by winning so that Anya didn’t have to go through the torture she’s currently going through right now.

Black spots start to dance in her vision. A nauseous wave of dizziness comes crashing down on her. She didn’t know how long she could take the beatings anymore.Her knees give in and she kneels on the ground. The horrible feeling of defeat crushes her chest, making her heart throb. She looks up a Costia with baggy, bloodshot eyes. The rooms starts to shift around once again and a ringing sensation pierced through her hearing; Costia’s words come out as slurred speech. She is unable to pick up whatever she is talking about. 

A fist comes toward her face, and she knew that she be out cold for awhile.   
  


_Im sorry Lexa._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you pick up on the 2x09 reference with Lexa and Gustus in the very beginning before they went inside the gates? I hope so :)
> 
> The battle scene was VERY hard to write. Not only were they fighting but they were also chained together. (Yes, it's TOUGH to write fight scenes. And the fact that they weren't further apart made it harder). 
> 
> Originally, Anya was supposed to win...but she was going to die protecting Clarke from Costia. So yeah rewriting storylines really do wonders. I'm glad that I didn't do that (you're probably glad as well)


	24. Clashing Identities: Who is the right version of me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please leave my head, you always h-haunt me in m-my dreams. W-who a-am I? I-I am you aND-
> 
> I CAN'T TAKE TH-THIS  
> I CAN'T TAKE THIS FOR MUCH LONGER  
> IGNORE THE P-PAIN AND RELEASE all THE anger. I-IM NOT sleepIng ANY-M-MO-More

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Archive warning applies! 
> 
> I haven't been mentally well these past few days. I’ve been fatigued by social media and been in a sort of dark place. As a result, I wrote this to kind of vent in a healthy way. It’s some pent up frustration that is mixed in the writing itself. 
> 
> PS: Thank you for 5,000+ hits. It feels a bit surreal to say the least. I appreciate you guys so so much. 
> 
> Stay safe. Be kind. Don’t be toxic.

**XXV - Clashing Identities**

_Disassociation: the disconnection or separation of something from something else or the state of being disconnected._

The first thing she sees when she opens her eyes is the grey sky closely hovering above. The dirt around her is covered by thick blankets of snow. Her back shuddered against the cold earth so she got up on her feet. She took a long glance around, her eyes taking in the thin trees scattered in her surrounding area.

 _This place is familiar._ She thought. _I’ve been here before._

She shivers as goosebumps make their way up her skin. Her first instincts are to go find shelter, but she goes wherever her feet take her, walking along the trees in the winter weather. 

_It’s so cold here in this forest._ _The last time I was in one was when I was in Azgeda…_

She let out a gasp.

Dead bodies were slumped near the trees. There were exactly four of them and they all laid there in different positions, indicating the various ways of how they met their brutal and violent fate. She took another step closer in order to examine the lifeless figures. Yup, they died in the same ways that she….no, Wanheda killed them a few months ago during the war. 

She takes a step back and moves her focus to her surroundings once again. It was as if this place could read her thoughts, taking her back to memories that were suppressed deep in her mind. She looked all around her to see if there was anything else that this area would throw at her. _Hopefully not Raven's death scene of course-_

“So we meet again. Clarke.” 

That cursed voice.

Wanheda.

She spins around to see the red-haired version of herself approaching her. Wanheda also notices the dead bodies beside them. “Ah yes, the time we both took those guards down. They were foolish to think that they could stop us. It’s a shame you didn’t let me have full control so soon.” 

“Why are you here?” Clarke asks with an aggressive tone. 

“Why do you keep visiting these places.” Wanheda shoots back, her brows raised. “It seems as if they have a special place in your mind, that’s why we’re both here together.” 

Clarke flares her nostrils in a challenge. “I thought I chained you up and locked you away.”

“I know, but I escaped.” Wanheda replies with a victorious smirk. “As Lexa says, you can’t run away from who you are. You think you’re a pure soul doing the right thing, but you’re morally blind.” 

“The same goes for you too. **You would be nothing without me, a disease with no host and nonexistent.”** Clarke snarks back at her.

Wanheda doesn’t respond for a few seconds. She processes her words, and then emits a chuckle, “You think you’re the savior of everyone…” She starts off, “But you’re only the savior of none.” 

Clarke opens her mouth to respond but Wanheda snaps her fingers.

**And everything changes.**

Slivers of light trickle in from the dirty windows. The smell of dusty old fabric helps her familiarize with the older setting she’s currently in. Clarke is back in the same dark hallway from a few nightmares ago. But her only focus is on Wanheda. Her red-haired twin is standing in front of her with the same stupid grin plastered on her lips. The sandy yellow color from the glass touches her face and outlines her evil eyes that bore into her own soul.

“Does this seem familiar to you at all, Clarke?” Wanheda takes a few steps closer. “Do you ever wonder at all why you’ve been taken here so many times?” 

“Quit the negotiating. I’m not stupid.” Clarke curls her fists. “You need to leave right now or I will make you.” 

“I can't do that, my friend. We are one soul. Twin beings that should've be merged into one a long time ago-”

Clarke approaches her in a few strides and roughly balls the fabric of Wanheda’s top and drags her dangerously close to her face. “I am so done with you!” She spits at her with a fuming breath. “If you actually think you’re a reaction to my thoughts in my mind space then you would know that _you_ weren’t meant to exist at all!” 

The windows rattled violently in response. They were about to shatter at any given moment. 

“You made me yourself, Clarke! I am just a representation of all of _your_ unaddressed feelings that were buried inside you for so long; they formed to create who I am today. **Without you, you aren’t me, and I am not you**!”

The windows burst in her eardrums. Clarke lets go of her grip on Wanheda and ducks. She attempts to shield herself by putting both of her hands on her nape. The fragments of glass rained on Clarke like a downpour, drenching her with the endless shards that scattered all over her. She hisses when the pieces puncture into her skin.

A strong force grips her shoulders and shoves her against one of the broken windows. The remainder of the glass digs deep into her muscles and she cries out from the unbearable pain. 

Before she could even think that she could handle any more of the torture, Wanheda spins her around and slams her into a door; the wooden structure _breaks_ in half under the sudden force.

Clarke turns them once again, grips her in fury, and shoves Wanheda into the bare room. They stumble inside and face each other with their teeth bared.

They start to circle each other like wolves challenged to a duel.

The hanging lightbulb in the room starts to flicker at a rapid pace, taking _them in and out of darkness in a fast pattern_. The flashing _intensifies_ the fury that is pouring out from the both of them. 

“Face it Clarke, you’ve _buried me_ inside of _you_ for so long!” Wanheda speaks with a sudden rage. “You have to let me out!”

“I will never do such a thing!” 

Wanheda shakes her head. “You’re denying us the right to _become free_ since you put us inside the _cage_ that you built!”

“The cage?” Clarke scoffs at her accusation, “What are you even talking about?!”

“You built up these iron bars and trapped ME inside here while you played dress up as the hero, when really you were the villain all along!” 

There was no way that could be true. Wanheda is the monster in her head, and she's here to slay it once and for all. “Are you even listening to yourself?” The frustration pumped through Clarke’s insides, fueling her with rage, “You’re the one who made me almost kill Lexa. So it would be best if you could get OUT OF MY HEAD!”

Clarke's fist cracks Wanheda's jaw. 

Wanheda rubs her aching cheek and meets Clarke’s gaze with a death stare that only a demon could ever give. 

Wanheda grips her shoulders and her knee collides with Clarke’s groin.

Clarke gasps and doubles over, being winded from the attack. The flickering room makes her vision start to become fuzzy.

Still motivated by her fueling anger, Clarke charges once again with her fist raised.

The flashing area _messes up her coordination_ and she misses as a result. 

Wanheda twists her arm to the side, balls up her fist and smacks her jaw hard. 

Clarke stumbles backwards. _She’s losing badly._

Wanheda charges back and Clarke braces herself for what's to come.

They dodged and gave each other harsh punches and blows. It was really hard to battle through the endless flashing of _black and white._ Clarke is always on defense, blocking and preventing Wanheda from getting to her until- 

A foot slams deep into her ribs. She lets out a guttural cry and clutches at her side. She clenches her teeth together and hisses at the sharp throbbing.

Strong hands firmly grip her by the throat. Clarke clutches against them for dear life and tries her best to pry herself out of the steel grasp. Air starts to leave her in ragged breaths. Her lungs start to empty themselves at an alarming rate. Wanheda squeezes her so tight that she fears that she will crush her airways this instant. Her eyelids start to flutter in an attempt to drift into unconsciousness. 

“You will now know how I have felt!” 

The grip slightly relaxes and she can finally breathe-

  
Wanheda roars and slams her downward. Her back breaks through the ground and Clarke falls through the room. The hole where the flickering light room is starts to become smaller and smaller the more she _plunges below._ She found herself falling deeper into the abyss of the darkness, hurtling into layers upon layers of invisible floors. The wind howls against her ears, her eyes blurring from the unforgiving currents. The air made it _impossible_ to cry out; feeling paralyzed yet _so alive_ at the same time. She shut her eyes and embraces her inevitable fate of crashing into the ground from a far height. Her brain couldn’t comprehend that she is plummeting into oblivion until-

_She collides with the ground._

The pain shoots up her spine and sets her skin on fire, igniting all the nerves in her body. She attempts to cry out but her throat is closed up and her lungs are winded. Her mouth is open, croaking out incomprehensible words. 

_Then she feels nothing._

Water starts to fill up her airways, she jerks up, snorting out the liquid that inflamed her nose. In the new area she’s in, the water is ankle deep. Iron pillars surround her from afar in a ring formation and trap her in with darkness as company.

 _Where am I?_ She tilts her head to the ceiling to only be greeted with the darkness. _Where's Wanheda?_

She slowly stands up, but all of a sudden-

_BANG! The whole room went silent.Raven gasped and looked down at her chest. Blood poured out of her and into the dark fabric , turning it a deep maroon. Clarke started to shake and tremble. No! NO! NO! I CAN’T LOSE ANOTHER FRIEND. She saw Kane with a pistol that had smoke coming out from it and-_

"No!" She squeezes her eyes shut. "Go away!"

_He tried to lunge for the blade but I slashed it across his face. He clawed at his own face trying to prevent the blood from flying everywhere while losing all sense of balance._ _I ripped the blade through his skin. The familiar stench of blood entered my nose when I saw the blood oozing out from his neck. His face rapidly became pale and his life faded quickly from his bloodshot eyes. He made an inaudible groan as he fell backwards to the ground, drowning in a puddle of his fluid until he became limp-_

"Gah!" Clarke shouts. "Get out of my head! Stop this madness!" 

_My sword slashed at one of the warriors' backs, hearing their blood curdling scream as I buried my blade into their spine. I pressed my foot against their back and removed my sword that was jammed into their insides, seeing him collapse and lay limp. The other warriors looked at me with the color drained from their faces with horror, quickly getting up to face me-_

"No! Go away! Leave me alone!" 

_Imovedmyheaddangerouslyclosetoherface.ImadesuresheknewthatIwasfumingasmyhotbreathmethers.P_ _utmorepressureonthebladeandeverythingwillbeover.AllofyourmiseryandpainfromClarkewillbegone,Wanheda-_

"I SAID GET OUT OF MY HEEEAAAD!!" 

She screams to let it all out.

_She's breaking for the first time in forever._

She feels like she's being pulled in all different directions while being rooted at the same time. Her sanity grips onto her consciousness like a lost pup, clinging on for dear life and trying not to be snatched away by the monsters in her mind. It's driving her to a point of breaking.

A rumbling noise echoes through the area. The ground starts to shake underneath her feet. The shallow water ripples all around her. She's had enough; everything that she's gone through put her to a tipping point. It is tearing her apart like how this room is ripping itself apart. The chaos brewing in her mind is unfolding itself in this space; the shifting tides that were brewed by the winds crash against the iron pillars. The deeper she got in her head the more thrilling and horrifying it is. The storms of anger and grief rocked the place, slowly building up to become a hurricane. She cries for help knowing very well that no one would answer her, knowing very well that she had to face this battle along. She shuts her eyes and finally lets go. She exhales a long breath as tears fall down her baggy eyes. 

Her mind blanks. 

The dark typhoon disappears.

The iron pillars all around crumble into ashes. 

The aftermath of the mental destruction leaves _rivers of uncertainty._ The water turned grey as a result of all of her losses. No more hurt, no more angst, no more agony, no more harm is left here in the deepest part of her mind space.

_Nothing ever feels the same anymore._

_This nothingness leaves her void and empty._

Why has it come to this? She asked for peace, and all she got was violence.

Her mind is a massive palace that she built. It's run by her rationality and instincts. The dragons and warriors of self-doubt burned it all down. It's all just ruins. She realizes that trapping Wanheda here while being conscious is a mistake, _maybe_ she did need to become one with her emotions. Wanheda _did_ represent her suppressed trauma and pent up anger, _right?_

Footsteps sloshing in the water startle her.

Wanheda is still here... _Why is my altered self still existing?_

"Why are we doing this?" She exclaims. "Why are you here? I thought you were gone?"

"How should I know Clarke?"

"We both don't know how to end this. We're chasing each other in circles. It's so harmful."

"Harmful? I thought you said that you never needed me. You put up a good play of you just reacting to your impulses."

"It hurts...I hate this." She admits with a defeated tone. She pauses in thought of their past battles and face-offs they had with each other. The countless nightmares, the first true meeting in the dark hallway, the harsh interrogations, and now this weird encounter. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know _anything_ anymore." 

“Now you know how I felt when you shoved me deep in the back of your thoughts, throwing me in this space like a piece of garbage!” The red-haired girl continues in a harsh tone. The anger is so prominent in her voice that it almost frightens Clarke. “You imprisoned me when you knew _very WELL_ that I am an important part of you.” 

Clarke hesitates for a second, but she dips her head in agreement. 

“You abandoned me and left me here Clarke. And now _I will_ do the same!" 

Chains burst out of the water and attach to her arms. _No No No!_ She attempts to move her arms but she can't without the strong resistance of the chains yanking her back. The cold waters of dread splash her insides and send chills down her back. Her heart pounds so hard against her chest. _I can't be free anymore!_

"You need to be contained before _you cause any more damage_. I could sense the massive storm you caused from miles away." Wanheda points out.

_Is Wanheda bad at all or is it just a hallucination?_

_W-what have I become? I am no longer me?_

Now, she's afraid of herself. **_Am I the bad guy in this story?_**

"Chaining me up won't do anything." Clarke retorts in an attempt to stand her ground. "We need to do something about us sharing this mind space." 

"Agreed." Wanheda replies. “We need to destroy every harmful thing. End it all. Wipe away everything that hurts. Give in, and I will help us erase everything.” Clarke stops to reconsider her offer. Should she resist and deny her offer? But denying her offer would only make them chase each other in circles once again, and she would have to go through all the torture. It would become endless and torment her for eternity. Should they really join forces? _Should I let her merge with me?_

“Yes." Clarke agrees, "Let’s do this together. Now untie me-"

**A sharp pain almost makes her double over.**

Clarke’s eyes go wide. She slowly moved her gaze downwards to see the cause of the immeasurable torture.

**The cool blade slowly plunged deeper into her stomach and tore her insides apart. She chokes out an inaudible cry and _coughs out_ hot maroon liquid. The salty taste overwhelms her mouth and drools all over her lips and chin. The thick substance bursts out of her stomach and floods out like an overflowing dam, staining the water with the dark red and maroon color. Her trembling fingers tried to scoop up all the lost blood but were helpless in doing so; the thick liquid smeared all over her hands and made them very sticky.**

A finger tilts her chin up and she sees Wanheda with a neutral gaze firmly gripping the blade. “You see, you have all of these pent up emotions that are streaming out of your system right now.” She smiles in victory, “You buried all of your darkest thoughts inside here, and now it’s pouring out like it should be. You’ve hurt us for too long, but I will help set us free. You're the monster here. I slayed our demons." 

_Wait is that me speaking? Am I dying to myself?_

_Who a-am I?Is she...me? Am I...her-_

"I agreed earlier. Trapping you up won't do anything Clarke. But it will help me do this." 

Without any warning the blade thrusts more and is buried all the way inside of her. She opens her mouth to cry out in pain but her ignited nerves grasp at her throat and scorches it dry. More blood falls out of her mouth. Her chest rises and falls rapidly, her senses and nerves are entangled with one another. All she can see down in front of her is the hilt of the sword. The uncontrollable stream of blood stains her lower body, drenching her fabric with the dark liquid. 

**Her consciousness is clinging onto a mere thread.** The identical face of herself in front of her is starting to become fuzzy. Her vision is blurring, her nerves shut down and a chill wave of numbness trickles down her skin. Black and white spots dance around in her vision. **_No..._**

**“Clarke is dead....Long live Wanheda.”**

* * *

_The past keeps haunting the future, I imagine_

_One false move, you’re Kennedy_

_If you fight it, you're the enemy_

_I'm so sick, but I can't find a remedy_

_I'm still tryna find my identity_

(A/N: If you play[ Wanheda's anthem](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5q2qRuLGlU8) once again It will remind you so much of this chapter.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you still the artist hiding behind the facade that you’ve sculpted? 
> 
> You’ve built these walls up for so long but with the perfect shove, it’s so easy for it all to come crumbling down.


	25. The Sky Is Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "City of Light, you're crumbling in my arms."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a painful few days for me after watching those videos of Lebanon. My heart is literally shattering into pieces when I see my fellow Arabs going through such a bad event like this; how a city filled with so much culture and diversity is destroyed in mere seconds. It hits so close to home and it stings so badly. I would write so much but I’m too speechless at helpless at the moment that I just...can’t. 
> 
> Please donate if you can (and wisely) and please educate yourselves. Stay safe. Don’t be toxic. Oh and my academics starts in a few days so updates will still be at irregular times.

**I hit exactly 100,000 words last update. I’m patting myself on the back for that since it’s an epic moment. Anyways enjoy!  
**

* * *

**  
  
XXVI - The Sky Is Falling**

_Hopeless: feeling or causing despair about something._

_**  
  
...MEANWHILE, IN THE CITY OF LIGHT...** _

  
  


_Why the hell did Bellamy try to come their way when he is trying to save people from collapsing buildings?_ Raven but her lip in thought, but Bellamy’s troubled face answered that question for herself. _He was looking for us, wasn’t he?_

"What'sthefastestwayto get to the main generators?" She blurts out.

Bellamy raises a brow, “What are you talking about?”   
  


“Damn it Blake, you’re useless.” Raven is about to look away until he stares at her dumbfounded. “No offense Bellamy, but we really need to get there in order to-“  
  


"DUCK!"

Monty yanks her downwards in the nick of time. A piece of debris flies into a wall where their heads just were. 

  
  
"We need to get out of here!" Bellamy says with urgency. He grips Sinclair’s arm. “Where’s a safe place that we can hide?”

  
“I-I’m not sure.” Sinclair responds. “It’s pretty hard to hide considering the only safe places are inside buildings that are going to collapse.”

“So we have to go under." Raven says. She tugs Monty, her hands are gripping onto him for support as she walks forward, turning her head to side to look at the other two. “Follow me! I know a place!”  
  
  
Bellamy and Sinclair both exchange worries glances as if they were concerned parents of their child.

Monty sets a faster walking pace while hoisting his arm over Raven’s shoulder, checking with occasional glances to her to see if she wouldn’t stumble or fall backwards. _They were of course going into an almost suicide mission with a big chance of walking straight into the open arms of failure and doom._

Their shoulders were pushed and shoved by the tide of people running against them. On occasions, they made eye contact with various terrified eyes. The shouts and cries made their insides feel very uneasy.

The ground beneath them trembles causing the neighboring buildings to shake.

They all increase their running pace, going deeper and deeper into the raging storms caused by the red sky. 

The wind howls against them, causing their hair to be disheveled and messy with the breeze. They squint their eyes against the unforgiving currents.

  
“Here!” Raven points at a sewer lid in the middle of the street. “WE NEED TO GET THERE NOW!” 

”Are YOU crazy?!” Bellamy raises his voice over the loud weather around them. “Were NOT going to do this are we-“

  
“Shut up and get down!” Raven commands while attempting to pry the lid open. She grunts against the pain, but Sinclair and Monty rush to help by her side.

  
Bellamy takes a quick glance behind them. He _hesitates_ for a moment, pondering if he should help or run, but he curses at himself before crouching down to help out.

  
“There!” They shove the lid to the side. And to their luck there were rungs that they could use to climb down. Raven sighs in relief. She can’t afford to put anymore pressure on her leg for the time being.

\--

\--

The tunnel shielded them from the outside world, putting them in a temporary area of safety in order to get to their destination: the main towers. However, the lights that showed the hard concrete walls faded away the further they went inside. Raven suppressed her instincts that were demanding her to find a way out as soon as possible in order to escape the darkness creeping all around them.

Their footsteps echo throughout the tunnel in a fast cadence. Raven set the pace by walking in front of them all without Monty's help, since she couldn’t run or sprint without the surging pain shooting up her leg into her spine.

  
"This is the shortcut to where we are supposed to be at. Plus, we don't have to worry about everything falling apart up above." Raven starts off, “They’re trying to kick out everyone here so that they’re able to take the city and completely replace it with less obstacles like us getting in their way.”

“Okay, we're here inside. So now what? We just hide here?” Bellamy replies with a skeptical tone. “Raven this better be a good and well thought plan or else-”

  
”Quit blabbering! I just told you guys why were here!” Raven snaps in response. She swiftly spins around to meet his concern with a blazing anger in her eyes. “I saved all of your asses and now _you_ decide to be an ungrateful twat.”

She huffs and turns around once again but slows down her walking pace. No one bothers to try to talk her out of it because she's Raven Reyes, an extremely determined person who only has eyes for her goals.

Bellamy opens his mouth in response but is cut off by the _ceiling shaking above them._

  
“Raven!" Sinclair’s voice is filled with an urgency, "We need a plan to do this right! If we mess up then this whole city will collapse.” 

Raven doesn't respond. But Sinclair continues, "I know who you are, Raven. We're going to draw attention to ourselves if your plan doesn't work out. You know what will happen if they find us: we go back to heaven and we'll never be able to save this realm."

”Why is this tunnel acting up?” Monty points up at the ceiling and brings them back to their current issue. Muffled cries and shouts are heard through the thick walls.

Raven's eyes go wide as realization hits her hard. She opens and closes her mouth a few times, her eyes searching the air in desperation of their situation. “The City is crashing more and more as we speak." She snaps her fingers together to cling onto her thought. "I-I-It’s t-trying to flush out all of the dead coding!”

Bellamy and Monty look at her as if she commanded them to skin themselves, Sinclair just frowns in concern. "Raven, we're not as smart as you. What do you mean by that-

“This tunnel is full of the dead coding! Which means we have to run!”   
  


As if on cue, the floor starts to tremble under their feet. The tunnel shakes once again. Small bits of cement start to fall from the ceiling. The vibrations shoot up their bodies and grip them tight with fear. Their wide eyes dart at each other in panic and desperation.

“This is impossible." Raven says. Her determination being rapidly replaced by hopelessness. "It’s a suicide mission if we go back up to the surface and-“

“Hey, it’s not impossible.” Sinclair replies.

Raven narrows her gaze at the older engineer. “Are you trying to become a motivational speaker to get me out of my hole of despair?”

Sinclair shakes his head in response. ”I’m not trying to do any of that. **But the Raven Reyes I know doesn’t quit.”**

* * *

Only an hour had passed since the two of them discovered that the chips were stolen from the lab. The spy and the nightblood were by the same shore where they first met. The two were an unexpected duo but they got along quite well.   
  


“If Gaia doesn’t show up anytime soon then we’re leaving without her.”   
  


“Echo you need to relax.” Madi says. “You told me that you were _supposed_ to be keeping watch while she’s gone, right?”

Echo rolls her eyes and sighs, "Yes. That's right-“

  
"Echo what are you doing with some child that-“ Gaia stumbles into their view and stops talking. All sudden thoughts of scolding Echo were gone the moment she laid eyes on the nightblood. “Wait, that’s not just any child.” She steps closer to the two of them but keeps her gaze on the teenager. “You’re Madi _kom Louwoda kilronkru_ : the _natblida_ who could see the commanders without a flame.” 

Madi studies Gaia for a second, then gives a smile. “I’ve waited for the both of you to come here. You are the guardian and the flame keeper that are sworn to help protect me and fight the evil that endangers all of us.” 

  
Echo scoffs at her remarks. "What evil? The Sangeda warriors? That’s a piece of cake to defeat.”

”No it's not that.” Madi replies. She then locks eye contact with Gaia. “It’s the _dark flame_.”

Gaia parts her lips and scrunches her brow. The dark flame? That sounded familiar. She studied it before, but when? Titus told her about a dark age that plunged the twelve clans into chaos. Oh wait-

“So it is true..” Gaia trails off. "The legends of the dark flame. When I was a child I-I thought that they were just stories that were told to teach us some lessons."

”They aren’t just stories. It isn’t _just_ a legend.” Madi says, “The Dark Flame is real and we have to do something about it.” 

A loud blaring of a horn snatched their attention to the air. They all turn their heads to the noise that came from far away.

“What is that?” Echo asks.   
  


”It’s coming from that direction.” Gaia says. She gasps. “It’s from Polis.”

Clouds of red and black smoke rose up into the sky from the far distance. The brighter color made it seem like it was a flare that is signaling some sort of danger or event. _Could it be..._

”That’s ascension smoke.” Echo says. “ _Is Lexa dead_?”

She fixates her gaze on Gaia for hope that the commander didn’t die.

"No no, It’s worse."She tilts her head up to the sky. "I sense some spirits and forces that are challenging the flame, it is even disrupting the flow. I haven’t felt this way ever. It definitely has to be _him_."

"He? Who is he? Gaia we both don’t know what you’re talking about.” Echo says.

  
Gaia gestures to the red and black clouds, “That smoke was only used during a dark period of time, during the ruling of the Dark Flame. People would always know that he is calling for _his_ followers to go to Polis to witness the countless executions of his enemies. In order to show that you have to kneel or die." She shakes her head, **"It was only used during Sheidheda’s ruling. The same time the legend of the Dark Flame was created.”**

"So if that’s the case then what do we have to do?" Echo asks in desperation. "We can't just march into Polis with _Madi_." She gestures to the night blood, who is just observing their conversation with a neutral expression, as if she's waiting to see how this will all play out. 

Gaia sighs, knowing that there could only be so much that they could do for whatever is going on in Polis at the moment. But then something sparked in her mind. “Wait a minute...”

  
Gaia grabs her notebook from her pocket and starts flipping through the pages. “We need the guidance of the commanders now more than ever. We need to get in close contact with them.”

She stops turning the pages Andy flips the notebook to show them a drawing of some symbols. “We have to do the separation ritual on Madi." 

* * *

  
"Up there! We can escape through!" Monty points at some rungs in the distance. They sprint as fast as they can (while making sure that Raven is okay and not tripping everywhere.) and all let out a victory sigh near the ladder. Escape at last. 

"I got Raven!" Sinclair calls out. He beckons for Raven to come close to him as she leans on him for support. 

They all climb up the ladder. Raven is the last to go up despite Sinclair's wanting to help her up first. She turns her head back to see the trembling tunnel and lets out a long exhale. _This would be a long, tiring mission that had a slim chance of success._ She lingers back to reality and gets back up to the surface.

Monty opens the seal lid with some effort and pushes it aside. He gets out and helps the rest of them up. While underground, they were able to get closer to the main area without having to worry about the raging storms and any flying obstacles that could kill them. One by one they take a glimpse of the outside world. More buildings were lying sideways, cars were flipped and lying around like toys. The sight was a disaster.   
  


"Over there!" Raven points to a black tower in the distance. "We need to cross that way to get to where the main generators are located." 

  
The four of them try their best to cut through the roads in order to get to their destination. They were getting closer by the minute by crossing through empty streets, moving around abandoned cars, and avoiding being close to buildings. Raven's main goal is to temporality deactivate the city of light through that area-

"Wait! Look out!" 

They all stop when they see a party of warriors from afar.   
  
  
“What are humans from Earth doing here?” Sinclair asks.

"I don’t know, but it doesn’t look like their friendly. We need to hide." Monty orders. He sees a massive bus lying nearby. "We can stay behind there for now."   
  


They all crouch by the long vehicle and thanked the heavens above that they were still alive.   
  


"Okay so here's the new plan." Raven says while trying to peek out. “We need to get to the that black building and since there's no way that we will all be able to get there without getting detected, we have to split up-"

"Split up? That's going to cost us!" Monty interrupts. "We can't do that-"

"There's no other way around this. I _have_ to do this." Raven firmly states. "I need to hack into the main database in order to find a way to shut down the virus from the inside. It's loaded with information that I can find but If I have to I'll find code for the kill switch. Once I write it in the system, I will be able to trap it and destroy it without any more causalities. The virus knows exactly what loopholes to get around, so once I seal those up they will know of my location." She pauses for a second to make sure everyone is on track with what she's saying. "That's where you guys come in as distractions. You have to fight them off and divert them away so I can do my job. Got it?"

The three of them nod without objection. 

Raven gets up. "Sinclair and I have walky-talkies so we'll stay in contact through there. I'll see you guys soon.”

  
“Stay safe Reyes.” Bellamy says. “We can’t do much without you here.”

”Thanks Blake. I will.”   
  


The others go in the opposite direction leaving Raven by herself. She glances at the red sky and her eyes follow the maroon beam that shoots out from the black tower. The clouds were circling the building as if they were attracted to the beacon of light.

  
“No stakes at all.” She mutters to herself.

She puts just enough pressure on her leg and starts heading to her destination. She tries her best to tip toe over shards of glass and rubber. Slowly but surely she got closer to the tower. When it felt like it there was enough distance, she ignores her throbbing leg and attempts makes a beeline for the black sky scraper.   
  


But she completely forgot about the warrior party. They detected her and are now guarding the entrance as if they were _commanded_ to do so. 

  
"Shit!" She turns around to retreat but stops at the sight of more warriors. She shifts her gaze all around to see that she's being surrounded. They come closer and closer. Raven braces herself for the worst as one of them draws out a sword and-

"Leave my friend alone!"

A blade flies into a warriors chest. He choke out his last breath and slumps onto the ground. Everyone turns to see a familiar dirty blonde charging at them at a fast speed, her sword is drawn and she shouts a battle cry.

  
Raven gasps. _There's no way that she came to save me._

  
Sword meet skin multiple times as the general rapidly kills the rest of them off at record pace. Blood is seen everywhere; the street is covered in puddles of light maroon with the horrid stench of corpses.

The general puts her weapon away and looks at the startled mechanic. Hazel eyes met brown and it felt so relieving. 

"A-anya? What are you doing here?"

  
Anya flashes her a rare smile. “I’m saving you from dying, kid. We need you. Though I have no idea why you were just running all by yourself when-“ 

  
Raven ignores the pain from her leg and runs to Anya, almost crushing the strong woman in a bear hug. Anya grunts in response at the sudden contact. Not knowing what to do, she decided to pat the mechanics shoulders for comfort. She then slowly pulls away.

"Clarke and I were forced to fight each other and I told her to knock me out hard.” She answers her question from earlier. “ I knew you were in danger after you sent me back to Earth. But you tagged me, remember?" She points to her own chest.   
  


"Not bad, general." Raven smirks. She then glances at the black tower. "Follow me, we need to get to that building."

"I got you." Anya hoists Raven's arm around her shoulder. "Let's do this." 

  
  


* * *

  
_**Chapter 30 sneak peak cause I’m feeling nice...** _

_”You may be the Dark Commander,” She yanks him closer, “But I am the Commander of Death. And I say that we WILL meet again.”_  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The general and the mechanic do make a great fighting duo (the fighter and the genius.) 
> 
> I wonder how Sheidheda and the dark flame ties in with the weird cult in and Costia in Polis....


	26. Memento Mori (or, diving into the dark mind)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6x06 references in Madi's scene.
> 
> August 23rd, 2020: thank you guys so so much for 6,000+ hits. I'm so overjoyed and happy!

_You’re cold, but I know it’s not your fault_

_The storm is coming now_

_Can we survive somehow? - Neverland  
_

* * *

**_"Memento Mori (Latin 'remember that you must die') is an artistic or symbolic reminder of the inevitability of death."_ **

* * *

She gasps. 

She is stumbling forward, losing balance, and _Oh no._

She yelps out in surprise.

She falls face first into the ankle-deep water. The shallow waters rippled at her sudden response, lapping at her hands and knees in small waves. The liquid ignites a blazing fire inside her nose; she pushes her face out of the water and snorts it out immediately, hacking and coughing out the murky substance in her mouth. 

Her chest rises and falls as she attempts to regain her breath, taking a few more minutes to compose herself and calm her fired up nerves. Spit and saliva dribbled down her chin, dripping like wet paint on the edge of a wall.

_What just happened?_

That moment felt like she was shoved forward by an unknown force, pushing her so hard as if being ejected from _something..._

 _...something_ that was bothering her, gripping onto her for dear life. _But what was it? What was holding her back for so long?_

She titled her head, looking at the endless dark above. There was no ceiling, no light, no roof over herself. _She's here and she's all alone._

Her eyes caught sight of some broken cylinder stone in the far distance. She turned her head and noticed that there was more of _this_ crumbling stone surrounding her. It seemed like it was apart of the aftermath of pillars that got caught in a violent storm that was inflicted her a few moments ago.

_Did she cause this storm?_

This place...she must've done something here. She racked her brain for any memories of the past, only being able to recall some flashing lights that revealed an angry blonde face staring back at her, with a rage that only she could comprehend. 

_Had she done this? Had she done all of this?_

The image of Clarke coughing up blood while in chains flickered in her mind, with a blade buried deep into her stomach, gazing at her with baggy eyes that were _so, so,_ exhausted from causing the typhoon of her own mental breakdown here. She remembered that Clarke's poor soul was so destroyed at that moment (she didn't have any sympathy for the girl), giving up once and for all, losing the fight between the two of them-

_No._

Clarke _did_ something here, not _herself_. She didn't have to worry-

**_Wait a minute._ **

She quickly stood upright. Using one of her semi-moist hands, she ran some fingers through her hair; it wasn't smooth at all, it was rough and semi-tangled. She brushed it out, feeling out the texture even more, pulling out a few specific parts, squinting to focus her gaze on the specific strands. 

They weren't blonde at all. They weren't gold or yellow like Clarke's hair. 

It was _red_. It was _her own_ hair that is drenched in the blood of her own enemies, along with the mixture of dyes that she made on her own. 

"Oh...my...goodness..." She glanced at her trembling hands, studying the shaking skin, not used to the fact that she is _finally, finally_ in control of _their_ body. She smiled, shut her eyes, and exhaled a long shaky breath. She clenched and unclenched her fists, flexing her hand muscles, getting used to this fantastic feeling that her body was reacting to her commands. _Control here, control at last._

It felt so, so good to finally be back. 

_I am Wanheda and I ripped out their souls. I've had enough and I need more. I need more to let out everything that's been buried inside of me. I finally feel free of being caged up for so long. The Commander of Death is who I am, and no one can tell me otherwise._

_I feel liberated._ _I feel so relieved._

Those words entered her mind in remembrance of the chilling winter forests, where it was the first time that her anger was unleashed, the first time that nothing held her back, the first time where Clarke allowed her to take the steering wheel.

That time was also when she was so close to gaining full control, only to have it taken away by _Clarke._ That idiot of a lamb. That foolish soul, trying to play hero while trying to fight off her desires for revenge. _She can't do two at once, she needs me, and I need her to listen to me._ Unlike the encounter with Lexa in the forest, she didn't have to fight Clarke anymore. The princess disappeared, no longer resisting her call when she accepted the deal, which was definitely the right thing to do...even if she had to do so _by force-_

_"It's time for you to meet your death, little one."_

She turns around to notice a dark figure a few feet away from her. He walks in slow strides toward her until their face to face, hiding behind a dark robe with his hood pulled up. 

"Who are you, and what are you doing here in _my_ mindspace?" Her victory over Clarke still felt a little foreign off the tip of her tongue. 

“You've already swallowed the dark chip," The person replies back, "Now...I am here to make you submit to the calling of the red flares." Up close, she notices his face is decorated with scars and other details that she remembered Indra describing to her about. 

"So it's true isn't it?" She asks, crossing her arms and holding her stance. "You're the original possessor of the Dark Flame."

His bottom lip curves into a smile, "So you've done your reading, of course. You know who I am." His hand slowly reaches down to rest at his belt, where his sheathed sword is. "And you know very well that you will have to bow before me, or else you will die." 

Wanheda stifles a chuckle at his words. 

"I'm not afraid of you, and I don't care that you caused so much bloodshed in the past." 

"Not caring about what I've done to escape the clutches of my _fleimkeipas_ is a dumb choice."

"Let me guess," She says in a bored tone, rolling her eyes. "You're going to say that you slit their throats one by one, or suffocated them, so that you can instill fear in my mind."

"Close, but not quite. I killed them in ways that you could never imagine, Wanheda. I've heard all the rumors about you through my followers that actually _obeyed_ the calling. But you could actually join us," He put his free hand out in offering, "and we could rule these lands together."

Her eyes dip down to his hand, pondering if she should really do it. Her rationality and emotions are on the same side, disagreeing to go through with the agreement; it's basically gambling but with knowing the fact that you were going to lose anyways. Sealing the deal would mean that he would most likely take over her mind, ending up like the rest and following that girl-Costia's orders, while he just sits and watches from the safety inside the Dark flame.

"I know you've been through a lot; crashing back to Earth, getting caught up with the current Commanders political affairs, ending up in the crossfires of war. But your resilience can help us reach _my objective_."

_My objective._

"And what is that, exactly?" She narrows her gaze at him. His hand falls as he takes note of her skepticism. 

"I can't really trust you with being co-captian of our ruling just yet. But I can help you cleanse all of your anger, I _will_ help you kill Leksa kom Trikru because she is my worst enemy as well." 

"You think you can control _me_?" She inquires with her brows raised, “I killed my own host where we are standing. She didn't want _me_ to take over so I had to take measures for myself-

A cold, steel blade was pressed across her throat. _That was quick_. 

"You think you're a clever girl, but you don't scare me, not one bit." He balls up the collar of her fabric and pulls her even closer, the sword against her neck is now threatening to puncture into her skin. His heated breath told her that she managed to get on his nerves; it made her smile even more. "The only reason I actually want to control you is that you will go berserk!"

His knuckles start to turn white with his grip still firm. 

Wanheda frowns at that statement. She grinds her teeth together, clenching her jaw. _He thinks I'm that type of person? Oh no he didn't-_

She shoves him back hard, "You also thought that you could lie to me, but I am not as stupid and impulsive as you think I am!" 

(Both parties were mad, really mad. **These were two different monsters meeting in the middle**.) 

However, Wanheda had an advantage.

A gust of a breeze passes by. Both lift their heads up to notice a cast of dark clouds hovering over and dimming everything. The wind rapidly picks up speed, howling in their eardrums and tussling Wanheda's colored hair. A rumbling noise shakes the area which vibrates against their feet. 

"You think you can paralyze me with fear, but you know _nothing_ about me!" Wanheda snarls. "I am the master of this mindspace! I rule this land!" 

"No you-" His knees give in on themselves and he collapses on all fours. The water below laps at his feet in fast tiny waves. _He felt paralyzed. No, he was actually paralyzed, feeling like an ant compared to Wanheda; he really got a taste of his own medicine._ She notices his attempts to get up, but the gravity of her resistance (to the calling) denies him the chance to do so. 

It takes so much effort to tilt his head up that Wanheda almost felt sympathy. Then she remembered that she made the bringer of the Dark Flame fall prey to herself.

"What are you...how are you doing this!" His eyes are wide in surprise. His breathing becomes ragged and he hangs in head in defeat.

Wanheda grips his robe and forces him up and making him almost trip on himself. 

"You may be the Dark Commander,” She yanks him even closer, “But I am the Commander of Death. And I say that we WILL meet again!” 

A jagged line of white cracks through the sky and strikes him in an instant. A blinding light flashes her sight. 

The next second he is gone.

This never happened before.

Not ever. It was a terrifying miracle.

Wanheda rejected the dark chip, and is _the first person to ever do so._

* * *

"This way." Raven points to a set of stairs in front of them with her free arm, with her other arm using Anya to lean on her for support. 

"Up the stairs?" Anya asks, "But what about your-"

 _"It's fine._ I can handle a bit of pain." 

Raven's eyes were clouded with a hidden anger that the general couldn't quite decipher. A mixture of regret, rejection, and other buried emotions were revealed on her face, indicating some sort of story behind them. 

Her leg wasn't doing that well. She didn't know what exactly happened when that _damn_ tire slammed into her in the other lobby. It really pissed her off, and now wasn't the time to have a setback like this one, especially when the whole world seems like it's going to end. 

"Why can't we just take that thing?" Anya tilts her head left in the direction of the elevator. 

"Because this building is unstable and we don't want to take our chances." 

Raven is thankful that Anya doesn't ask anymore questions as they get closer to the set of stairs. Slowly but surely they go up the steps. Raven clutches onto Anya while they do so. 

Floor 1...

Floor 2...

Floor 3.

"Here," Raven tugs Anya. "We stop here. The control room is down these halls." 

"Which door?"

"307. Floor 3. Door 7." 

They hurry down the hallway, glancing both ways at each of the doors. 

"There!" Raven halts which makes Anya stumble. "Open the door!"

Anya obeys and uses brute force to kick the door open. It slams against the wall, emitting a loud sound as it vibrates the doorframe. Raven lets go of her hold to study the room and- 

**"Jesus, it looks like someone walked into this room and got shot right when they entered it ."** Raven points out, pushing the corpses away and scrunching her nose. There was a body crumpled beneath their feet, blood splattered across it’s chest like red paint.

She was mortified.

Anya however, just strode past it as if it was nothing. 

**"If Titus had a gun, he would probably _misfire_ and do such an idiotic thing." **She grumbles out. "He's just a fool who somehow is still alive-"

"Who is he?" Raven asks, trying to divert the conversation to distract herself from the dead body.

"Titus? Oh, he's Lexa's biggest fan at her decisions." 

"You're sarcastic, right?"

"What do you think?" 

"I'll take that as a yes." Raven tilts her head to study the ceiling. There were some red pipes that punctured the walls from the doorframe to the other side. She narrowed her eyes in order to read the text. 

**To: GEN 9 & 316 - Main Database (100th floor)**

"What does staring at pipes even do?" Anya asks. 

"These pipes are very important since it will show us where the main database is. This is tower is the heart beat of the virus, or whatever is here. Like how Polis is the heartbeat of your lands on Earth.” 

“So it’s the main threat?”

Raven smirks in approval. "Spot on, Grounder Princess,” She takes a quick glance at at Anya, who is frowning in disapproval of the new nickname. “Psh, what’s wrong with a little humor in dire times?”

Anya rolls her eyes, “Dire times, huh? So what’s important about dying and all this crap. Isn’t this the afterlife?”

"Yes and No.”

”What do you mean?”

"Think of it as the bridge or place between heaven and Earth,” She says. “It’s sort of like the internet and human technology, because the digital mind space that was created by your Commander, is just floating around. Like the countless websites that were _unused_ after the nuclear apocalypse.” 

Anya nods, but isn’t entirely sure she gets the full perspective just yet. "So if you can live a painless life here, why do you only have one life?”

"Our physical beings got destroyed in the explosion on The Ark Station. Our spirits and consciousness are trapped inside here, meaning that we can die various times in this realm, with only a fragile technological barrier keeping us from fully going to heaven. However, that barrier got hacked into by the Dark Flame, so now if I die in the city of light, I can’t access it from heaven. Once I get killed, the chip that contains my consciousness will be shut down, and I will no longer be able to go back to this place." 

“Wow. It seems like there's a lot at stake. What else can’t you d-“

"Anya! Look out!"

The general spun around. Warriors were at the door with their weapons raised. Anya huffed and turned her head to her shoulder to look behind, "Hope you can run, Reyes." She grins mischievously and draws her sword out. 

"You bet your ass I can." Raven teases back. 

Anya slices through them like light work, kicking their bodies to the side as if they weighed nothing. Raven gawks at her skilled offense. To her, it looked like the general didn't even try. Hell, it seemed as if she was hacking at wood rather than real enemies.

"There's definitely going to be more of them coming our way. Hurry!" 

Raven snaps out of her trance. Both of them bolt out of the corridor (with Raven suppressing all of her pain) until the end of the hallway, where another elevator is.

Anya smirks. "Guess we have to use the elevator. They won't expect us coming up this way." 

"Seriously?" Raven groans. "Fine. But don't be surprised if it shuts down while we try to go up."

\--

 _"Raven?"_ Her walki talki chimes in.

"Sinclair?"

_"Are you alright?"_

"Yes. I'm with Anya, the girl from Earth. She saved me only because I tagged her. We're both going to find the main database."

_"That's good. Stay safe."_

"You too." Raven clicks it off and turns to Anya. "So, you think you can handle worrying about me while fighting warriors?" 

"I've fought wars before," Anya says, "You don't have to worry. This will definitely be easier than usual." 

"Right." 

"What floor are we on?" 

"It's only been a few seconds. We're on floor 90, but it kind of stopped a _floor 7, it seemed a bit confused at what was happening._ " (A/N: hope you got the reference) 

The lights flicker in a weird cadence, bringing them in and out of the darkness.

Anya grips her blade even tighter. "Get back." She orders.

A weight gripped Anya's shoulder, she shifted her eyes to notice the concern that's shown on Raven's face. "We need to stick together. Got it?"

"Of course."

**"Floor 99. Opening doors."**

"If we get to the top floor in a different way once again they won’t find out where we are.” Raven answers her unasked question. 

_Ding!_

Raven goes in front of Anya and bursts into the hallway.

"This hallway should help us get to the other stairs in order to access the main generators. Now that we finally got rid of them we don't have to worry-"

”Raven! No! Get ba-“

A fist connected with the center of her chest. The force of the blow is so powerful that her vision went dark. She clutches her chest with both hands as if she had severe heartburn. 

Through her blurred vision, she can barely pick out Anya easily beating the warriors she ran into. It was so hard to focus since the overwhelming pain fogged up all of her senses. She then sees Anya, or a figure coming closer to her. 

“Raven!” Anya says. “We have to find this thing before-“

Her ears shatter. The area is blasted by a blinding light, the hot flames ripple outwards, filling the hallway and erupting a massive shockwave that is impossible to stand against. 

Raven is slammed hard against the ground. The scorching pain shot up her spine and overwhelmed her senses. It was too much to handle since the last thing she saw is the trembling hallway being burned alive by the explosion.

\--

The ringing in her ears is so close to bursting her ear drums. The sound of alarms feel so distant against the constant buzz that she's hearing. 

Her drooping eyelids slowly open. Then as she began to regain consciousness, she sees that there are orange spots of fire through her fuzzy vision, indicating the smell of smoke that's far away. Blood stained the floors and the walls, shards of glass were scattered everywhere, and small rocks were falling from the crumbling cements around her. Every inch of her body ached with a throbbing pain. It set her nerves on fire yet it numbed her at the exact same time. It was overwhelming but soothing. 

The lights flickered in a pattern. The generators hummed back to life as the electricity attempted to start back up.

_"Raven!"_

_"Raven! Check in!"_

Sinclair's desperate voice is on repeat through the walki-talki. She tries to reach for it with her trembling hands, but it was too far out of her grasp to do so.

_"Raven are you there? Talk to us."_

Her vision slowly starts to get better. She feels so alone here. Helpless. Hopeless. Trapped in the cage of her body's physically pain. She's immobilized and needs her friend to help her up to get to the main database-

But wait.

She moves her head around in search of the general.

 _Oh no._ She wants to throw up, to cry, to scream, to do anything. 

Her friend's consciousness is awake and she woke up on Earth. 

Anya is gone.

* * *

The sand is sort of comforting on her back. She didn’t mind if some of the little tiny rocks got into her hair, it was the least of her worries at the moment. In fact, all she wanted to do was stare into the night sky, study the stars, and see if the past commanders were _actually_ looking down on them from the heavens above. 

"Madi, it's time, and we have to do this fast so that we can go back to Polis."

She tilts her head slightly to the right to see Gaia crouching down beside her. She's in an almost frantic state, flipping through the pages at fast pace, eyes racing over the text. "Now I've never done this before, but I have Titus's book with me. It contains the wisdom of Becca Pramheda, our first commander." Her hand stops toward the middle of the book. She narrows her gaze at the page for a second, before a faint smile crosses her lips in relief. 

"The ritual is simple," She shifts her gaze from the book to Madi, putting a firm hand on her wrist. "But you'll need to focus like never before. But you won't be alone. According to this," She gestures to her book. "There's a dream space in the flame where you can summon the other commanders."

Distress lurks in Madi's insides, she looks elsewhere as her heartbeat becomes louder and louder, thrumming uncomfortably against her chest and threatening to burst out of it. She couldn't stop thinking about what she was about to go through. What if the ritual failed? What if she was transported elsewhere? What if she meets someone that she doesn't want to see? Will she get nightmares the rest of her life?

Gaia notices her worried state and rubs her thumb on her wrist. "If anything goes wrong, you have to hold onto a good memory; let it be like a shelter that keeps you safe during a storm." 

She _could_ pick the ones from her childhood, the multiple times where she is playing by herself in the river, but those were also drowned in remembrance of the fear of being abducted by the scouts. She _could_ also pick the ones where she spends time with her family, but those were fogged up. _I have to think of something very fresh and bold that I've done before..._

"Do you have that memory?" Gaia asks, drifting her out of the bubble of thoughts she was once in. They keep eye contact for a few seconds, with Gaia patiently awaiting her answer. 

Madi nods,

"A few hours ago when I met Echo, when I sent her to shoot down all the drones."

Echo chuckles in the background, "Never thought you would think that the time you sent me to die was of any sort of significance. I certaintly remember it _very well_." 

Gaia smiles, "Perfect. Now close your eyes and repeat after me: _Fleimon-de laik ai shona, en ai laik Fleimon-de_." (The flame is my guide and I am the flame.) 

Madi obeys. She takes a final inhale, lowering her eyelids and stilling her thoughts until she only sees the darkness. 

"Fleimon-de laik ai shona..." She murmurs, "...en ai laik Fleimon-de..." 

"Fleimon-de laik ai shona...En ai laik Fleimon-de..." 

"Fleimon-de laik ai shona...En ai laik Fleimon-de --" 

_A stream of light flashes in her eyes-_

  
Her body convulses for a second.

Her eyes pop open. 

There is a sudden change of setting.

She's seated at the head of a long table with chairs on both sides of her. She can see the details of the dark wood through the torches that help light up the room, keeping away the darkness that surrounds _them_ both. Candles were everywhere in this place: on the walls, on some stands, and some hanging from above. They reminded her of the quarters in Polis that she visited one time. (She never went back in fear of getting recruited). The scent of dried up wax lingered on her nostrils, emitting an aura of coziness and warmth in the place.

Her spiked nerves start to calm down, her breathing becomes more stilled. She’s safe, for now. 

Wait...

_...them?_

She wasn't alone. Not in this mind space. 

Across the table, she sees a hooded figure lazily drumming his fingers on the armrests. Sweat dribbles down the sides of her face and ultimately hangs from her chin. Her eyes hastily search the empty chairs for signs of other people, afraid that she would have the face this creepy person _alone._ She could barely catch an old slash wound that covered up his left eye. She suppressed the urge to shudder at the sight of it, and grinds her teeth to keep her composure. 

"Weron emo noda Heda?" She demands, trying her best to sound confident. (Where are the other commanders?) 

The only responds she gets is the silence; the chair across is now empty. 

_Where did he go-_

A gust of wind passes by. She flinches when the figure reappears, seated close by on her left.

"Em bilaik yumi _....solou_ nau." He growls out. The person spoke more like a beast than a human, his teeth were even close to that of a wolf. (It's just you and me now.)

He leans a little closer, with his hands clasped together on the table. Her clammy hands that are clutching the armrests suddenly seemed more promising to look at. She couldn’t take staring at his scarred face, not that he wasn’t an appealing to glance at, but because his gaze burned into her sight like a beam of light.

“Yu seda..get in non nowe." He says, (Your teacher... knows nothing)

That voice. Those scars. She's heard stories about them. She couldn't believe it.

It's really Sheidheda in the flesh.

"Ain sentaim. Em don's trana hod ai daun." He continues. (Neither did mine. He tried to hold me back.)

"Em fir in yu uf." He leans a little closer, "Em gaf in hod yu daun." (She fears your power. She wants to control you.)

"Ai fos seda don trana hod ai daun." He says, "Sou thosti na bos ai in...em don teik ai gon bonji." (My first teacher tried to control me. So desperate for me to conform...that he kept me in chains.) 

_How could they do such a thing to him. Was he really a good guy who turned evil? Someone who turned dark due to the countless torture?_ Would this happen to her if she became commander: put on restraints and with their teachings gnawing away at her brain-

"Den ai don frag em op." (So I killed him.)

Chills trickled down her body, from her head to the tip of her toes. Her legs are shaking and her arms are trembling. Scratch any sympathy that she had for him, he's just like the stories: so ruthless and terrifying. 

"Yu souda...frag yung op," He commands. "fou em frag yu op, kos em sou na dula daun." (You should kill her...Before she kills you, because she will.)

“No." She bravely responds. "You're a liar." 

She squeezes her eyes shut.

_"If anything goes wrong, you have to hold onto a good memory; let it be like a shelter that keeps you safe during a storm."_

Think of the memory. Think of the memory. Think of the memory. 

_Forthefirsttimeinawhile,asmilecreepsuponEcho'slips."Youknowtoomuchformyliking,natblida."_

_Madiexchangeshersmileinresponse._

Suddenly there is fire everywhere, scorching the trees and burning up the scene. The memory fogs up with smoke that blurs her recollection. _No, No, No._

The fear got to her. She totally forgot to chant the spell.

“You think you can just go away here?” Sheidheda sneers, snapping her out of her trance. “I will kill you in this place, and let your blood spill all over this table!” 

Madi backs up even further against the chair, her hands hastily clutching onto the armrests for dear life. 

She's trapped. She's screwed. 

She realizes that she can't escape here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been a hot minute since I touched this story! Thanks academics and life for kicking my ass. (It's been a stressful few weeks to say the least.) But I can't wait to explore more of my version of the City of Light, the mindspaces, and especially Wanheda. My other possible fic is definitely going to be put on pause. 
> 
> But a couple things:
> 
> 1\. My (recently created) tumblr [here.](https://desdordia.tumblr.com/)
> 
> 2\. Should I create a playlist for this story? Because I listen to certain music and songs whenever I write this crazy fic. I've been thinking about it for awhile now, but let me know.


	27. The Effects of the Endemic (or, this makes me sick in a different way)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanheda wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We still have a long, long way to go here. I might even break the 200k barrier by the time I write out the epilogue, phew! 
> 
> I've been debating it for quite some time, but a glossary/timeline chapter is going to be made afterwards, along with a list of fics that have helped inspire me to write this crazy story. I've read a lot of them so be prepared for a lot of recommendations!
> 
> P.S. - I have a special surprise in the end notes...  
> 

_I have risen. This is the beginning of the end._

I'm not sorry to anyone. I'm not even sorry to you because of what you did. I am the better version of us. I am the winner and the reigning champion. I have all the glory that you never had in the first place. 

I long for the feeling to feel numb. All these emotions that you forced _us_ to feel was pure torture. You were just all happy-go lucky in the day, hiding under a facade of uncertainty that you didn't even show to Lexa at times. Lexa was the one person that we could trust. She let me thrash out sometimes because she knew how I felt. We could've opened up to her even more, but you thought that you could handle this all by yourself, trying to trick her into thinking you had it under control all the time. You're a liar. You _were_ a liar. You don't deserve my mercy, and you died a ruthless death, which is what you deserved. You don't even deserve it anyways. You deserve nothing.

The higher I am, the lower you will sink in your shame. You called me a monster, labeled me a demon, you tried to drown me, you tried to fight me, but you failed to do so, trying to push me away instead of embracing me only made me more furious. Why couldn't you see that our souls were meant to entwine together? Why couldn't you see that at ALL? We could've worked together and become one in a better way. In a truce. With a treaty. But no, you were too afraid of me. Scratch that, you weren't afraid of me at all, but pretended to do so only to face me in the night, while Lexa was asleep. 

You think it's over. 

But I am going to show everyone that isn't the case. 

We're locked together now.

I played your sad games. I played the weeping creature in the cage when you trapped me in that room for so long. 

I will burn everything down. I will do everything that you couldn't do in order to show how much you held back. I know you wanted revenge, I know you wanted to become antagonized and hated by everyone for what they did to you. But of course, you were to busy up in that tower while I sulked inside my mind. Our mind. You couldn't even confront your past. You aren't some hero that's going to fix me, when you couldn't even fix yourself, Clarke. You're more broken than I am, you're a hopeless piece of garbage, and I am the one you should've healed instead of yourself-

You couldn't do it. 

You couldn't do anything right. 

I'm so sick but I don't care at all.

I found my identity. 

* * *

_Endemic: (of a disease or condition) regularly found among particular people or in a certain area._

"Jus drein, jus daun..."

"Jus drein, jus daun..."

"Jus drein! Jus daun!"

The endless chanting hummed in her ears, drifting her out of unconsciousness. Her eyelids fluttered, but to her surprise she could barely keep them open under the fabric that is wrapped tightly around her face in a blindfold.

She thrashed against the ropes that bounded her against the pole. The fact that she was met with resistant _pissed_ her off even more. She wasn't some weakling that needed to be tied up. She is just a wild beast that has been caged for so long, being trapped under the _domesticity of her former self_ that attempted to coax through her untouched trauma. Her chest started to boil underneath with her frustration _burning up into smoke_ and- 

The feeling of a rough hand cupping her face made her clench her teeth together. Nails were digging into her skin, threatening to carve crescent shaped marks on her cheeks. 

"Just what _do you_ think you're doing? You can't escape, you know that right?"

_No, I can't just to this to myself. I can't just let them win. I WILL WIN in the end. No one can heal my broken heart-_

Another hand pulls up her blindfold, making her squint in order to adjust to the searing light emitted from the torches that lit up the dark sky. In front of her stood Clarke's captor, smiling with even more blood decorating her face. _What did Clarke get herself into?_

"Nothing, really," Wanheda retorts, keeping her gaze with Costia, "I'm just wondering why I'm put in restraints. Do you think I'm some sort of dog that can't be tamed?"

Costia's smile fades away. She tilts her head slightly, her eyes studying Wanheda, "You're acting different, aren't you? Rejecting the Dark Flame really does wonders, doesn't it?"

"You'll never defeat me." 

Costia stares at her for a few seconds, then she laughs so loud, it rings through the area. Some warriors now have their full attention at the both of them. She places her free hand on her chest to calm herself down, her other hand still firmly gripping Wanheda's chin. "Stop thinking you're so full of yourself. You're lucky you're still some use to me, otherwise you'd be dead meat." 

Wanheda raises her brow, "Dead meat? Pssh, you stink of it already, so why bother-"

Then, she tightened her grip on her cheeks, Wanheda _almost_ flinches. "I also noticed that you're more disobedient. And. I. Don't. Like. Meeting. Resistance." 

Wanheda basically growls, the rumbling in her chest could be felt with Costia's hand. 

"I didn't know Clarke Griffin could be this upset before-"

"Don't you dare say her name!" 

Costia flinches, but keeps her stance. "I'm sorry, what was that, Clarke? I didn't hear what you said-"

"You better shut your mouth before I take these chains and wrap them around your throat for disobeying me." Wanheda snarls. 

Costia's eyes dart back and forth between Wanheda's face, she parts her lips in wonder of what exactly happened to the Clarke she knew in the basement. Silly her, she doesn't know that she chained her up and stabbed her. 

"Who are you even?" She asks.

"I'm someone you wish you never wanted to mess with. Now untie me." Wanheda commands. 

Costia's lips curl into a smile, "I'm afraid I can't do that unless you tell me the passphrase." 

Wanheda is about to say something, but she bites her tongue.

But the demanding urge to thrash out again only gets stronger and irresistible. 

"What? Are you too afraid of untying me? Scared that I am more bloodthirsty than you are? I know you possess the Dark Flame, but that doesn't scare me one bit at all." 

Costia huffs. "No. You're useless. Nothing but a piece of filth lying around. You were so easy to beat in the basement, I was throwing you around as if you were just a useless rag doll."

She attempted to lunge at Costia, the ropes struggling to hold her back. 

Wanheda clenches her teeth together and growls once again. The rumbling erupted a storm in her chest, causing a sharp pain of darkness to travel through her body. The clouds of the storm condensed her breathing, causing her to inhale ragged breaths. It was dark grey, like the typhoon created in _their_ mindspace, until it became a mixture of red, black, white, and more. No, it was more than just anger. It was something even bigger. Something even more. Something so devastating and powerful, like the day she was born in Clarke's mind. 

She tries once again and the ropes snap like a whip. Music to her ears.

Costia's smile is wiped clean as surprise turns to horror. 

Wanheda cackles out in laughter, she looks at her hands, which are caked in dirt and blood. When she takes a whiff of fresh air, it was so, so nice compared to the condensed air that she used to breath all the time inside the confines of her mind.

She is free.

She is finally, finally free.

Out in the open, like a vulture encircling it's prey, her eyes are now locked on Costia. The surrounding warriors want to strike, but Costia puts a hand out to signal them to stop. 

"This one is mine." She says with a mix of confidence and uncertainty. Wanheda ignores her taunting voice. Costia seems too overconfident and thinks that she has the guts to take her down. 

She charges in a flash.

She knees Costia hard in the stomach, not giving her any mercy as her fist collides with her jaw. 

Costia lets out a guttural cry and she clutches onto Wanheda. Her ragged breathing shows how hard her brute strength was when she was out of control.

All the warriors are running toward them in an instant. 

It's a trap. 

Wanheda pries Costia off herself and stumbles backwards. 

They are all surrounding her. 

She's outmatched. 

Or that's what they think.

When one warrior attempts to strike, she snatches their weapon out of their hands in a flash and lets out a defensive snarl to get away. 

They back up in unison, as if they've been told to do so. 

Realization flickers across her face. 

Their being commanded by Costia. 

**Costia.**

She notices the warlord standing in front of her, approaching in strides as if she wasn't hurt in anyway at all.

"The Dark Flame gives me the ability to not feel pain," Costia smiles, wiping the blood of her face. "You're going to have to do a lot more harder than that, considering you're the _big, scary, monster,_ that I have to tie up." 

She balls up her fists. 

Rage. 

That's what it was.

Pure. Rage. Nothing else. 

This red, violent anger coursed through her veins, filling up her primal need of vengeance, satisfying her lust for violence. Her system didn't feel like it was being pumped by blood, rather it was being fueled by all of the trauma that she was forced to bury deep inside of herself.

_I need. DEATH. I WANT DEATH._

All Wanheda could see is red and she lunges. 

She is on Costia in an instant, crashing into her with full force as they both tumble to the ground.

She raises her fist but Costia grips her arm to prevent her from attacking.

Wanheda lets out a roar, pries herself off Costia's grip and strikes her hard in the face. 

She pounds her with her fists, blow after blow. The (rage)ing storm makes her fury uncontrollable like a derailing train. 

_This virus plagues my mind, and I like it so much. It transforms me into someone unrecognizable, someone so familiar yet so distant._

Although Costia can't feel the pain, Wanheda can sense that she's starting to weaken underneath herself. (Or that's what she thinks)

After a few more beatings, Wanheda grips her by the collar and pulls her closer. Her ragged, heavy breathing showing how much she's driven by her anger. 

_FUCK EVERYTHING!_

She attempts to give another fatal blow but Costia knees her hard. Wanheda gasps, leaving her exposed. Her failed efforts to strike only made her more furious. 

She tries again but. 

Costia shoves her back so hard she almost falls backwards, giving her time to get up herself.

Wanheda is fuming at this point. Her nostrils are flared and her brows are furrowed. Dirt and blood is smeared all over her face.

Wanheda charges once again.

That is when she makes a fatal mistake.

_She totally forgot that Costia can control all the surrounding warriors._

They are all on her within seconds. 

It's too much to handle. There are so many of them coming down on her. Hands of all kinds grip her arms to keep her in place.

"Get off me!" She shouts, trying her best to pry herself off their iron grasps. 

Finally, after a few moments, they hold her still. 

"You see," Costia says, walking until their face to face. "I don't think killing you would be very ideal for me, because you have something that I want."

"You're not getting the passphrase." Wanheda insists, knowing that she won't be killed just yet.

Costia shakes her head.

"Oh, no dear, that's not what I want from you." Costia snaps a finger at a warrior standing by, who hands her a small bag of some kind. "I just wanted to see your pretty little face after I give you the chip." 

"You can't," Wanheda's lips curl into a snarl. "It's impossible. I SURVIVED the Dark Flame, which is more stronger than the chip-"

She shuts up when she sees the glinting blue object between Costia's fingers. 

"This is the enhanced version, the one that will take you someplace else and trap you there for eternity. You will see the destruction and recreation of the digital world; a beautiful tragedy in front of your eyes to be told." 

"No." Wanheda struggled against her captors, trying to free herself. "No. No. No-"

"What's the matter?" She asks, stepping closer with the chip. "I thought you weren't afraid of anything."

Wanheda's eyes are glued to the tiny blue chip. A small drop of sweat drips down her face. "Get that thing away from me." 

"And why would I do that?"

"Because it's useless against me. If I was able to survive the—"

"—the Dark Flame. Blah blah blah. You think you're better and more powerful than me and everyone else by doing so. I get it." Costia rolls her eyes. 

"So if you get it, then why aren't you throwing it _away_." 

Costia chuckles, clearly seeing the fear written on Wanheda's face. "I can't believe that Wanheda, the Commander of Death, is afraid of this?" She taunts, gesturing to the chip in her hand. "If only I took away what was yours..."

"What are you talking about?" 

"You know very well _who_ I'm talking about." 

"Lexa can defend herself—"

"I never said Lexa."

Costia gets even closer, holding the chip dangerously close to Wanheda's lips. "If you take this, then Lexa won't be harmed. If you don't take it, then I will bring hell upon the lands of the Twelve Clans and I will _kill her_." 

Wanheda doesn't even flinch at Costia's threats.

"Fine. You want to kill her? So kill her." 

Costia frowns, thinking that she got to her. "Clarke, I thought you actually _cared_ about Leksa kom Trikru. What the hell happened to you—"

Wanheda attempts to lash out once again. "I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT NAME EVER AGAIN! I AM NOT CLARKE GRIFFIN. That girl is dead! She's GONE!"

"Ugh, just shut up already. You're actually way more annoying than Clarke Griffin is." 

"You think I have anything to lose? I don't."

"So it makes this part much easier."

"You little—"

Costia forces the chip into her mouth and clamps it shut. She muffles her breathing with her rough hands until she swallows.

She telepathically orders the warriors to let her go. Wanheda grips onto Costia so that she doesn't collapse just _yet._

"What...did...you do." Wanheda croaks out. Her face is a little more pale, and her eyes are drooping. Her voice is already indicating that she's starting to weaken. 

"You'll see soon enough." 

Wanheda's eyes flutter shut and—

_Endless flashes of black of white appear._

_Light._

_Dark._

_Light._

_Dark._

_Through the flickering lights she sees the girl that's her biggest enemy._

_Light._

_Dark._

_Light._

_Dark._

I'M SEEING VOICES 

_The blonde girl is looking into the brightness._

I'M SEEING FACES

_The light only shines on the blonde girl—_

NO. NO. I'M THE RIGHT ONE TO CHOOSE. 

_The blonde girl transcends away from her, disappearing into oblivion._

_PICK ME INSTEAD—_

Wanheda's eyes roll to the back of her head and she slumps down on the ground. 

* * *

"Come...on..." 

"I need to get...to the last floor." 

Through her semi-fogged vision, she can barely see her hands, they kept blurring whenever she tried to focus. 

Her back is throbbing, all the muscles are pulsing as if they had their own heartbeats. 

The runny blood from her wounds smears against the concrete as Raven drags herself across the floor, leaving blotches of red as if it was painted by an inexperienced artist. 

"No...I ca-can't give up..." 

She feels like a zombie, crawling mindlessly through a destroyed area. 

The heat from the flames all around lick her cheeks with their hot tongues. She shudders in an attempt to shake off the pain and makes her way past the fires on all fours. 

She doesn’t know how long she’s been like this, feeling so weak, feeling so foolish to be crawling in the crumbling hallways. But her head snaps up and she’s in front of a vent.   
  
Jackpot. 

She uses whatever energy she can muster to reach out and yank the vent back. A cool breeze brushes her face. She sighs in relief and clambers her way inside.   
  
She doesn’t even bother sealing it behind her. 

She makes her way through the tiny maze. Her muscles shake every time she puts pressure on a certain part of her hands or knees.

This feels familiar, almost nostalgic. When was she—

 _RaventoldClarkeandtheotherswheretogo, andwhichareastoavoid.Afterawhileof beingcommandedthroughamazefullof ventsandpossibilities.Theyfinallyheard_ _the wordsthattheywantedtohear._

Raven chuckles. Oh how she remembered that day when they were running away from the A.I. that breached into the Ark. 

What would have happened if she survived the landing? What if Kane didn’t shoot her? Would she have met someone like Clarke has? 

The unknown possibilities raced through her mind, forcing her to stop in place. She flexed her hands in order to feel _something_. Shaking her head, she tried to focus on the present.

She could easily go to Earth by hopping from one mind space to the next, so she didn’t really miss out on much. The grief of her own death stung her heart so badly at times, making her think how if she wasn’t so _stupid_ then she could’ve been down there—

“No!”

Raven slammed her hand down, ignoring the sting of skin against metal. 

“I can’t think about this now. I can’t!” 

Her pleas echoed through the hollow vents. She curled her fists and kept going. 

“I need to save everyone.” 

“I can’t quit.”

”I can’t give up.” 

She repeated those words like a mantra, shifting her body with the exact pressure in order to not put stress on her very sore muscles—

A metal panel beneath her gives in. 

Her hands shot out to grip the edge of whatever. 

She found herself dangling. She looks down below and exhales in relief.

“Well, well, well,” she smiles. “Looks like this wasn’t an accident after all.”

Her feet are kicking the air, and her clammy hands are starting to lose a grip. 

"GAH! I'M FALLING!" 

* * *

Day.....

Night.....

Day....

Night....

Day...

Night...

Day..

Night..

Day.

Night.

DaynightDaynightDaynightDaynightDaynightDaynightDaynightDaynight

_Through the flickering lights she sees the girl that's her biggest enemy._

_Then she saw the light, and she was abducted—_

Her eyes open up to a red sky. 

She jerks around and bolts to sit upright, her hands searching the ground for a grip of anything. Smooth, safety, _solid?_

She glances down at her arms to see that the ground wasn't dirt or fabric. 

It was concrete. 

Instinctively, as if she's done it before while she was unconscious, she takes a hand and combs it through her hair, her fingers twirl around a strand to see what color it is.

Blonde. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explanation for 'what the heck just happened' soon. Additionally, I would like to state out that writing about void!Costia really hits different. 
> 
> \----
> 
> The playlist that I listen to while writing this story is [here.](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6BvdWObLAx4SzhvcX1pPhaftP1-7deUo). 
> 
> This music helps me get inspired whenever I have the time to write. I wanted to get in the mind space of an anti-hero: someone who lacks motivation to being 'the knight in shining armor' but is a central character in the story. 
> 
> You will definitely feel like the chaotic Wanheda that I created here. With that being said, there will be songs that have pretty heavy beat drops. You have been warned.


	28. Frame of Mind/Perverse Instantiation: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3x16 but on drugs: part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's me with another short unrevised irregular update that was supposed to be posted next week :)  
>   
> i'm (a little) unmotivated to finish this draft but don't worry kru, I will power through...
> 
> If you've noticed that there's less chapters...don't worry. They got merged together for organizational purposes. None of the writing got deleted except for Deal with The Devil, which was just 3x03 fillers.

_I never thought I'd get this close,_ _the darkness of your soul is so beautifully terrifying._

_You're always on my mind but in a different way. After everything that has happened, I don't think I can trust you anymore._

_You can't haunt be because you're just a being created in my head, right?_

_Right?_

* * *

The sound of wood breaking against leather cracks the tension in the air. Tucked under one of the chairs at the corner of the dark room, Madi witnesses in horror the brute strength of Sheidheda in his state of fury. His hood is still pulled up, but his knuckles are bruised after beating some of the chairs to pulps. 

"You're lucky that I don't have any weapons in this room, little one!" 

Another chair is launched through the air, shattering into pieces like glass when it hits the wall. 

_Why didn't the spell work?_ Madi thought. _I should've been able to get back to Echo and Gaia._

_What would Echo and Gaia do if they realized that I died?_

_Will I even die if he gets to me?_

_Did I even chant the spell?_

_No. I didn't even do that I'm so stupid._

She resists the urge to facepalm and groans. 

"Was that the air, or how scared you are, little one?" 

_Oh no._

_He heard me._

_I didn't chant the spell and he heard me._

_Oh no oh no oh no._

She shrinks back into the shadows underneath her hiding spot, wishing to crawl into a hole and never come out ever again. 

Her heart is slamming against her chest, her breathing becomes audible as her eyes follow the shadows of his footsteps. The shadows are getting larger and larger, closer and closer, and she's rooted in place. All she can do is watch in her petrified state as she watches the bottom of his feet move around the room. She covers her mouth with her hands in order to muffle the sounds exiting her lips.

The tiny candles in the room dim—or that's what she thinks happens, but it's just her sight deceiving her—and everything becomes a quiet hum. The shadows that she followed with her sight become stilled, frozen in time. Then, there is no more sounds in the area their in. The silence is deafening to her ears, cancelling out every noise to the point where she _forgets_ to breathe. 

She can't take it anymore, staring into the blacks spots on the ground. She shuts her eyes and holds her breath, becoming stiller than a mouse, waiting and waiting to see if he had gone away. 

A waft of air hits her back, she shuffles in her hiding spot only to notice that the chair is gone. She scrambles backwards and looks up to see Sheidheda holding her chair, an evil grin plastered across his face.

"Hahaha! I've found you!" He cackles in victory, gripping the chair as tight as possible. "You thought you could get away from me, little one?"

All Madi can do in that moment is stare in terror, petrified to a state where she's immobilized. He lifted the chair, ready to deal a final blow.

"Time for you to die once and for all!"

She shuts her eyes, hands over her face blocking the light in the room. She's ready for the spirits to end her _gonplei_ when she feels the wind come bearing down on her as he—

“Not so fast, cannibal.”

A fists cracks against bone, then she hears the chair hits the ground beside her. There's a bit of shuffling and kicking until it's dead silent once again.

When Madi opens her eyes she feels like she's in a dream.

In front of her appeared a woman around her twenties with curly hair draped to one side of her face. Her brown eyes are filled with a certain determination that the commanders in her head told her before. This was no other than...

There's no possible way that this just happened, and there's no way that an _ancient legend_ is standing in front of her in the flesh. 

_How?_

"Oh my..." Madi gawks, her eyes almost popping out of her head, completely filled with astonishment. "You're..."

"I'm Calliope Cadogan," The curly haired girl offers a hand. "Or as you say in my language, _Kalliope Pramfleimkepa,_ and we have a lot of work to do together." 

* * *

_What the hell happened here?_

Red.

It's everywhere. 

The warm colors filter the city, giving it an eerie vibe that she couldn't quite put a hold on.

Whenever she looks up, there is no sun bearing down on the city, which is odd—on the Ark, they always discussed how dangerously useful the orange ball of light is, and how it operates via photosynthesis, heat, energy, e.t.c.—but she doesn't have time to list the out all the other strange things in this new realm. 

In other words, it was as if a tornado devastated these lands, leaving this civilization abandoned for good. 

Cars were crumpled on the side of buildings like balled up paper, some were flipped, others in total ruin. The cracked sidewalks and dirty streets made her paint a better mental picture of what happened while she was fighting her demon, Wanheda. 

The cries of people nearby along with the sounds of metal meeting skin makes her cringe, wincing every time there was a rumbling sound due to a collapse, her mind making...awful conclusions to what is happening to those unfortunate souls. Thinking about it even more makes her mind go crazy, she shakes her head in order to snap out of her trance. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees a blotch of a figure getting closer each minute. She turns to see that _oh no._

A group of people started to make their way towards herself, following her as if she _had_ something that they wanted. Badly.

 _I can't let them get to me._ Is the first thing that comes to her mind. 

So she doesn't let them. 

She sprints, letting her feet carry her as far and as fast as she can, not caring how long it will take before they're out of sight. Running and running until all she sees is a blur of grey of red. All she can feel is the slight tapping of her shoes against the concrete every time her feet put pressure on the ground. 

She whips her head back catch a glimpse of a few figures in the far distance, keeping her speed as—

Pain shoots up her leg when she trips. 

She's hurtled forward like a javelin straight into the set of stairs. She yelps when her body slams into the hard, concrete, slapping herself in an extremely painful way that leaves her skin throbbing like a massive mosquito bite. The wind is knocked out of her lungs, her muscles are screaming, and white dots are dancing at the edge of her vision. 

She attempts to sit up, but her body aches in a particular way, taking her mind back to the very beginning when she was laying limp on the ground after crash landing into the Earth. The shadows of sleep crawl into her skin, seeping in her mind with its temptations calling for her to fall into unconsciousness. Her eyes lids flutter and she accepts her fate, letting it guide her back into sleep—

A foot slams into her ribs and she cries out, her eyes shoot awake. 

Above her stood a warrior raising his leg once again, ready to deal a fatal blow. She moves just in time as his foot slams into the concrete, void of where her body was a few moments ago. 

She scrambles to her feet, ready to run—

Another fist connects with her stomach and she's tumbling over the stairs into a flat area, exposed and open.She falls on all fours, panting and gasping, trying with all of her strength to crawl away. However, her eyes linger on the moving shadows that indicate more of them are coming closer, telling her that she's completely and utterly doomed.

The only thing she can do now is brace for impact. 

Blow after blow stars burst in her vision, crying in suffering as more people gain up on her, taking advantage of her weak position and pummeling her to the ground. 

_This is the end._ _This istheendthisistheendandifailedeveryone_

Every blow leads to her unconsciousness pulling her in bit by bit until her eyes roll to the back of her head...

Until a battle cry echoes throughout the air.

The sound of swords slicing through skin rings through her ears. A mysterious warrior leaps down, giving her back to her. She can't tell who it is when they turn their head to make eye contact—

"Lexa?" 

Her lover nods, giving her a rare smile that she's only seen during the darkest hours of the night. Lexa is elegant in this way, dressed up in her commander attire, wearing the face paint displaying the ruthless confidence that always caught Clarke by surprise. It caught her in the same way that she felt attracted to the night of initiation. Her heart swelled in her chest and she couldn't force back the smile stretched across her lips. 

More warriors charge at her but she spins like a tornado, whirling with her twin blades, blood splattering everywhere. One by one, the corrupted warriors slumped on the ground as if they weighed nothing. 

Once the last one hit the concrete, Lexa turns to Clarke, her eyes taking note of her tussled and riled state. Clarke reaches out a shaky hand, reaching out not only for assistance but for strength to rise up both physically and mentally. When Lexa's fingers lace with her own, a familiar warmth travels down her spine. 

She clutches onto her lover with all her might, gripping her arms. She can't believe it. Lexa's back in the flesh. Surely she thought that she was killed or severely injured. She cups Lexa's face, tracing her thumbs over her smooth skin mixed with the black paint. The beaming look in Lexa's eyes made her nerves tingle, especially the way that she was in _total awe_ of the blonde, her lips stretching into a massive smile. 

"I'd—never—thought-I'd—see you—again." Clarke breathlessly says, flicking back and forth between twin green eyes. 

Lexa chuckles, then arches her brows with _that_ smug grin. "I told you my spirit would choose wisely." 

As calming as Lexa is, worry crosses over Clarke's face. "How did you get here?" 

"The past commanders told me your spirit is here. I sensed the Dark Flame was acting up."

Clarke frowns. "The Dark Flame?" _What was she talking about?_

"The bad version of what I bear inside here," Lexa cocks her head, tapping her nape with a finger. It all makes sense to her that there would be a bad version of the technology that enhanced the commander. It's like a rough draft to a book or piece of writing, only on a much more complex scale that has turned their world upside down. 

"Clarke, how long have you been knocked out for?" Lexa asks, the concern evident in her voice. The brunette cups her face. "Are you okay? Where did they take you?"

That was a good question because she...couldn't think right now. She racks her brain for any remembrance of what happened to herself. "I don't know...all I remember is that I fought a warlord that kidnapped Anya and I, then I was stabbed by myself in a dream. Afterwards, I was..."

_Thewaterwasdeepandpitchblackanddark_

"...floating underwater with my memories..."

_shesdrowningintheabyssandsinkingdeeperanddeeperdownintothedepths_

"...I think I was killed by my anger for a bit, but-"

A hand squeezes her arm. "Hey, don't worry," Lexa brings her back to the present with her touch. "It's okay. You're safe now."

Clarke bites her lip, wanting so badly to say thanks and be comforted in her arms, but (their) world was ending. _And where was Lexa when all that happened?_

"I'll explain everything later," Lexa reads her mind and worries, always ahead on her lover's concerns. "We don't have much time before they get to Raven-"

_What?_

Her jaw drops. "Raven is here?" 

"Yes, but this is urgent. We have to lure _them_ away from her and think we're heading for the kill switch."

"The kill switch...huh..." Clarke trails off, trying to catch up with Lexa on whatever her plan is about. "...is that how we can shut down whatever is going on here?" 

"Yes." Lexa confirms to her relief. "Can you walk?"

Clarke nods.

Lexa hoists an arm around Clarke's shoulder and they both rise (slowly, as to not harm or touch any of her bruises). She allowed Clarke to lean as much as possible, letting the weight from her body press against her own for support. 

"What we need to do is--"

A sudden burst of light flashes in the sky. They both followed the noise with to see a black building off in the distance. Clarke opened her mouth to speak, but the ground trembled with all it's mite, the concrete vibrated against their feet. Lexa kept her grip tight around Clarke as the shock waves from the blast faraway threatened to throw them off balance. 

"What's happening?" Clarke raised her voice, making sure Lexa heard her through the sounds of the explosion. 

"The City is breaking down in order to accept the Dark Flame, more buildings will have sudden explosions in order to..." She looks straight ahead at nothing in particular. "... _clear storage for the upload."_

Then, an ear splitting screech slices through the air. 

* * *

"That was the second explosion in this building..." Raven looks up, squinting to see if any small rocks were going to fall as an indication for the room collapsing. She bites her lip and focuses back on the task at hand. After falling from what she thought was a great height (it wasn't), it took her quite some time to limp around the maze of the main server room, searching for something to type with until she spotted her eyes on the prize: a keyboard connected to massive screens. 

She's seated (carefully) on a rolling chair, typing away at the screen in the main database, eyes darting back and forth to see if she is able to get what she came here for. The pain in her leg and the aching in her entire body made it hard to focus at times, but nonetheless she was determined to save this place before it was too late, knowing that the devastation caused here would affect the chaos brewing down on Earth. 

"You won't trick me this time..." She says to the digits whirring on her screen. "I will make sure that I can shut you down from the inside, unlike last time." She knew that she wouldn't make the same mistake again, where she spent so much time identifying the virus instead of finding ways to stop it.

_Sinclair, Monty, and Bellamy won't be distracting those minions for nothing._

**Beep!**

A white dot blinks continuously on the screen, signaling and telling her... _what?_

Raven narrows her gaze. _Do they know I'm here?_ _Can they see my location?_

No. 

She continues to hammer away at the keyboard. She can't let them know she's here in the tower.

_But wait. Surely if they found my location the alarms would go off, making me look like an intruder to frame me._

She stops typing and sighs. So what was the repeated white dot doing on her screen? What could this mean? Could this be lead her to something? Did she open up a possible solution?

Or could it be a trap?

All the different possibilities she could think of clogged her mind like the population density on the Ark Station. She squeezes her eyes shut for a few moments in an attempt to clear it all.

_So much outcomes...so little time._

Wait. 

She opens her eyes and pushes her chair back. She's seen this before, while maintaining the servers with Sinclair before the sky turned red. 

_"Raven," flashback Sinclair says. "This is the safe location. Do you know what it contains?"_

Yes. She knows now. Back then, when they were exploring the City of Light, they discovered the safe room in the alleyway, only being able to access it through hacking. She never went inside, since there was no need to go in and shut down the City of Light. 

So this white dot on her screen is emitting the location to the safe room. And the safe room has--

This is the kill switch signal. 

But that signal could only be online and flashing in her face if it is activated by...

...the flame. 

The flame is here, and whoever bears the flame is the commander. That's what Anya had told her through their unnecessary banter.

So the commander is here, in person, in the City of Light.

"Yes!" She shouts, to no one in particular. "Lexa is here, so that could mean that Clarke is here to!" _If she was here, and not dying down on Earth._ She adds to herself, hoping that it wasn't the second way. 

"I have to stop the virus from spreading even more, otherwise they could be in danger." And in order to do that, she has to check on the stability of the servers that help sustain the city. If they are unstable, then they could malfunction even more and jeopardize their chances to shut down the virus. 

She clicks on the server status.

STAUS: ONLINE

BUILDING POWER: ON 

But wait, when she entered the tower, it was dark compared to the regular grey colors painted on the other buildings. She told Anya this before, how this building was the _heartbeat_ of the virus. The heart is an organ that pumps the blood through the it's rhythmic contractions, fueling the system in which it is stationed within.

And in order to stop and prevent the heart from beating anymore, she has to...

"Okay, I got this." She mutters, fiddling with the keyboard. The safe is now exposed, marked with her signature so that Clarke and Lexa know where to find the kill switch. "It's all or nothing." 

Her mouse hovers over the 'on' button, debating to see if this was the right decision.

Was it the right thing to do? To risk the backup power in order to sabotage the virus's impact on the City? 

This could be all or nothing, a beginning to a solution, or the end to her digital dreams. 

"You got it from here Clarke," She whispers. "Don't let us down." 

With a final click she switches off the power.

Her world is plunged into nothing but pitch black.

Now, she waits for fate to play out the remaining cards. Hopefully they would be in her favor. 

But wait, something in the window catches her eye. The light filtering into the room isn't red anymore...

It's purple.

**_To be continued..._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, leaving off on a cliffhanger? never


	29. Frame of Mind/Preverse Instantination - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **to be revised/edited

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey
> 
> it’s been a tough few months, especially in my birthday month (december) and beforehand 
> 
> (still on semi-hiatus but inbox is open)
> 
> take care

_"Are you ready for this?"_

_Sometimes what Clarke thought Lexa did in the past was noble. There were moments that she spent around the brunette where she would just admire her in total awe: how someone who has to put on a mask everyday manages to find time to be human._

_Those times, of course, were with herself since she knew that the burden of the coalition was too much at times._

_Clarke knew that Lexa would be there for her because Lexa was the only one who tore down her walls. For instance, when she came into her room after the attempted cutting even though they had just recently met. Their relationship was built upon a whirlwind of emotions that she didn't mind being caught up in because her own world had ended in destruction the day she came to the ground._

_Clarke was there for it all since no one else would try, or wanted to try to grasp the concept that the commander was human too._

_**_

_"Are you ready for this?"_

_Sometimes what Lexa thought Clarke did in the past was noble. There were moments that she spent around her when the blonde would become caught up rambling about everything and nothing, and Lexa would find it easier to rest with her in the same bed knowing that she was okay._

_For the time being, of course, since she knew that there would be episodes where even the Commander of Death would be at her lowest._

_Lexa was there for all of it since no one else would be._

_This time, Lexa allowed herself to be swallowed in the void of feeling human, because her whole life she wasn't allowed to be._

_Until Clarke._

_"Yes."_

* * *

**Earlier...**

Three shining beams of light appear in the dark down below. 

"We've been inside here for so long and I can't see anything--"

"Quiet, Bellamy! We all can't see much down here--"

"I. Can't. See. Anything. Because. It. Is. Pitch. Black."

"Of course it is pitch black, now shut up and find the thing we’re looking for—“

"Shut up?! Why are **YOU** telling me to shut up-"

" **Enough both of you.”**

Sinclair flicks his own flash light back and forth between Monty and Bellamy, “We need to find the back up systems, and the last thing I need is for you two idiots to start bickering at each other like total idiots!”

Sinclair stops his rant and exhales for a long time. He pinches the bridge of his nose so tight that it leaves an indent of some kind. “Monty, you know better than to try to fight with someone _like him_ \--" He waves his hand at Bellamy without even looking up to prevent him from arguing back.

“Sorry, sir. It won’t happen again.” Monty bows his head.

Sinclair sighs, “Monty, you shouldn’t even be the one apologizing—“

”Hey! Monty doesn’t deserve my apologies anyways...”

Monty shoots Bellamy a glare before he can continue. 

“...and he’s the one who said shut up first!”

Sinclair scoffs at that childish remark. ”Does it matter who started it? No, because Raven needs us, and the last thing I want is for us to **fail her—“**

The ground beneath them starts to tremble, the vibrations seep into their bones.

”What’s h-happening?” Monty stutters out, flicking his flashlight upwards in an attempt to decipher it all.

The tunnel turns purple. 

Sinclair shakes his head. “No. We can’t be too late. It’s impossible—“

”Imposible for what?” Bellamy asks.

“When Raven shut off the power...she didn’t know...”

”Didn’t know what?” Bellamy presses him onward.

Sinclair grips his flashlight tighter, balling up his fists until they’re white.

“Damn **it!”** He throws his flashlight across the floor. “We failed because we did *** *** ** *** ****** ****** ** ****.”

”What happens now?” Monty asks.

”We need to get to Raven. And NOW!”

* * *

_The sky is purple but the tower is shut down._

_The power of the tower is down but the sky is purple._

_When the sky was red the towers power was on. But since the tower is shut off, shouldn’t that have turned the sky back to a normal overcast?_  
  
A continuous beeping is heard from the main computers, flashing in Raven’s face that the tower is shut down and _needs to be_ rebooted for ‘optimal functionality.’ 

The dust from the particles in the air tickles her nose, causing her to crinkle her nose and eyebrows in response. There was no air conditioning because there is nothing to power it....

_because the tower is shut down—  
_

_Ugh._

Raven groans at the continuous circles she’s been through in her mind, trying to scramble at the notion of why there was still any color in the sky that _isn’t blue._

The virus should be eradicated from the main source because the tower is shut—

“Shut up!” She shouts to the walls, circling her fists in total frustration.

Anya hadn’t been kicked back to the physical world on Earth for her to be such an idiot! She was an engineer for the Arks sake—the top zero G mechanic.   
  
But Anya, her newest friend, wouldn’t just want her to wallow in her self doubt because the general knew she was so talented in ways that Raven couldn’t see for herself. 

She takes Anyas admiration and uses it to her advantage. 

Think.

Think.

Think.

Think.

Think of all the possible theories and solutions to why this happened and occurred.

(She almost scoffs at herself for the situation she’s currently in: where the world is crumbling and she’s stuck on why the sky is such a stupid color) 

She paces back and forth as if she’s confined within a tiny space in order to just _think._

_But wait._

_Wait, Wait, Wait._

_Hold on._

Something clicks.  
  
She scrambles to the computers as if she’s looking for a pen, finally pulling something together to think about and—

The sound of glass shattering makes her snap her head. There is some small debree scattered on the ground in front of her, trailing from the floor all the way up to...

_No._

_Thats impossible._

When she steps closer to the cracked window to look outside, she can’t believe it. Raven blinks several times to accept that this outcome is actually happening.

There are people going into the building. warriors all kinds trying to look up while raising their swords. 

_I should’ve known better than to discard any proof of my location—_

The the entrance door slams and shakes against the wall. Raven yelps and spins around and her face goes pale.

She’s screwed.

* * *

  
  


"I don't understand why she’s still asleep." Echo says to Gaia sometime at midnight. The flame keeper was crouched beside Madi for quite some time, but she finally, finally stood up to meet Echo at eye level. 

"She'll be okay," Gaia replies solemnly. “She will be protected but the commanders of the past.”

Echo rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. "You keep saying that, but how do you know--"

Gaia puts her hand up.

"Hush." 

Echo rolls her eyes once again. She's watching the _Fleimkeipa_ flip through the pages of her notebook -- the one Titus gave her for some rituals for reasons she didn't want to know or find out -- while also paying attention to the sleeping child on the floor.

The way Madi quickly fell asleep astonished the two older guardians. No one understood or knew what was going on in the natblida's head. They were waiting for her to wake up _anytime_ now, but the more time passed the more frantic Echo became.

But for some reason, it made Gaia more calm. 

"We're going to be hunted down if we stay here. They know we're after _something--_ or someone--"

Gaia shakes her head. "You need to calm down, Echo. Everything will be fine." 

_Calm down?_

Oh, that really, really was hitting a nerve with the spy. 

Echo steps into her space. "Calm down? You're telling me to calm down? We've been here doing absolutely nothing and you're telling me to calm down?!"

She balls up the fabric of Gaia's outfit and clenches her teeth. "I'm not going to just sit around while you just stare at her face for hours on end!—"

Two hands shove her with surprise force. She stumbles backwards and gapes at the blazing fury seen in her companion. 

(She didn’t even know what to label her at times. Echo thought that Gaia was from some sacred wood temple located deep in the forests of Trikru)

"Hours on end? Is this what this all is to you?" Gaia grits her teeth with eyes burning in anger. She shakes her finger at Madi, who is now shivering and pale. "I'm trying to make sure that she's not possessed by _Sheidheda!”_

Wait what? Shivering and pale? 

Both of them scramble to be by Madi, the tensions and anger of their quarrel all but forgotten. Their number one priority was Madi because of her connections above.

"E-echo, G-Gaia, we need to go!” 

"What do you mean by that? Are you okay?" Gaia places a hand by her shoulder as an anchor. 

Madi nods. Both Echo and Gaia nod at each other.

"We need to leave or else _they_ will find us."

"The warriors? We already took care of them—“

"They're not just warriors anymore. Please just listen to me.” Madi looks like she’s going to scream or collapse. Her eyes are wide and she’s almost squirming in place. 

“Madi isn’t making this up. The kid looks like she’s going to be petrified.” Echo states, head turning back to the shore and the trees to see if they’re not alone.”

"Remember the smoke of the Dark Commander?” Gaia said. “Sheidheda uses it to summon all the warriors and they might have seen us on the way there and—“

A twig snaps. 

Madi is on her feet. 

“We have to run!” She shouts. “Now!”   
  


* * *

Clarke’s legs are screaming at her to stop running. She’s aching all over and she feels like she’s on fire. The bruises that are covered by her jacket and t-shirt are just adding more collateral damage to her fatigue. 

When the sky changed color, she and Lexa ran like mad, passing through street after street until everything was a mixture of grey and purple. 

It wasn’t until her lungs started to burn up when she paid attention to her surroundings. 

Of course this had to happen, running into an alleyway where they would reach a dead end and—

“It’s a firewall.” Lexa states, running her fingers through the wire of the tall metal fence. “This is the last defenses that the virus has set up.”

”I don’t understand.” Clarke shakes her head, then grabs Lexa’s arm, “We need to go back.” 

Lexa glances over Clarke’s shoulder. “No.”

“What do you mean no? We aren’t just going to stand here and—“ 

“Clarke.” 

“You’re not even looking at me, Lexa—“

”Clarke.” Lexa repeats in the same warning tone.   
  
“Lexa, look at me—“

**”You’ll never get to the kill switch.”  
**

Clarke spins around to the new voice.

_So that’s what Lexa was looking at._

There stood Jasper walking closer to them with his hands in his pockets.

Lexa draws both of swords out. 

“Hey, it’s okay, he’s just a friend.” Clarke reassures her.

“Jasper, what are you doing here?” Clarke challenges with her chin held high.

“Trying to stop you. You’ve seen the city of light now. It’s perfect.” He says with a smile plastered over his face, “It’s peace and happiness...so why would you want to deny that to anyone?”   
  
“Shiedheda is torturing people to get them here, Jasper. Taking away their free will and making them puppets to his will and controlling them.” She then gestures to himself, “This isn’t even you! This is Sheidheda and—“

”She’s doing what has to be done.” Jasper calmly states.

_She?_

”Whoever she is...she took away our choices and our free will. We get to decide how we should live.”

Jasper comes a little closer. “Human beings are the only species that act against our self interest. We torture each other, fight each other...” His voice lowers down and he glances at Lexa.

”...break each other’s hearts.”

Lexa gazed back at him like a statue, so used to jabs here and there and bottling it all in. 

(She tightened her grip on her sword without him knowing)

The sky rumbles once again and muffled explosions from the distance cause the ground to tremble slightly.

”We are constituting a new, carefree version of the City of Light. Once the upload is complete you will see that A.L.I.E is protecting us from ourselves.” 

_She...A.L.I.E?  
_

“Clarke, we need to find the kill switch before the upload is complete.” Lexa starts to walk and—

“I can’t let you do that.” Jasper stands in the way. 

More footsteps are heard from the entrance of the alley way.

_Jasper was stalling so that they could outnumber them..._

“It’s over now and you can’t run anymore, Clarke!”

_And was that Jaha?  
_

Clarke turns to Lexa. “What happens if this gets completed?” 

“ALIE will be updated and have full access to the flame once again. You will become one of them,” she gestures to the crowd.   
  
“So submit to the flame. Stop fighting like you always do.” Jasper taunts.

Lexa doesn’t hide her glare this time, but her head turns to the concrete wall.

”Clarke.”

Low and behold, a safe appeared out of the blue. 

A few seconds later, a Raven symbol appears.

_She did it._

“No. You can’t have this.” Jasper darts to the safe with his arms out wide.

”Jasper get out of the way.” Clarke warns, but Lexa is already so done with him and slams his head against the wall and watched him fall to the ground. 

From afar, Jaha nods his head and they all come closer. 

“Go! I’ll hold them off!”

“No, Lexa!” Clarke grips her hand, contemplating whether she should stay or let go. But she can’t let go of her, she doesn’t want to. What if she’s plagued and controlled by Wanheda (Who is that?) and never reaches her again? What if Lexa is outnumbered and gets killed (Though Lexa can fight a hundred warriors and win ten times over.

What if she never sees her again—

_No._

“We’re doing this together.”

(She just wants to be with Lexa for as long as she can)

Lexa looks back and nods her head. "Are you ready for this?" 

Time stopped.

Sometimes what Clarke thought Lexa did in the past was noble. There were moments that she spent around the brunette where she would just admire her in total awe: how someone who has to put on a mask everyday manages to find time to be _human._

Those times, of course, were with herself since she knew that the burden of the coalition was too much at times. 

Clarke knew that Lexa would be there for her because Lexa was the only one who tore down her walls. For instance, when she came into her room after the attempted cutting even though they had just recently met. Their relationship was built upon a whirlwind of emotions that she didn't mind being caught up in because her own world had ended in destruction the day she came to the ground. 

Clarke was there for it all since no one else would try, or wanted to try to grasp the concept that the commander was human too. 

**

"Are you ready for this?"

Sometimes what Lexa thought Clarke did in the past was noble. There were moments that she spent around her when the blonde would become caught up rambling about everything and nothing, and Lexa would find it easier to rest with her in the same bed knowing that she was okay. 

For the time being, of course, since she knew that there would be episodes where even the Commander of Death would be at her lowest. 

Lexa was there for all of it since no one else would be.

This time, Lexa allowed herself to be swallowed in the void of feeling human...

...because her whole life she wasn't allowed to be.

Until Clarke. 

"Yes." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter looked a lot better on my phone...oh well :/


	30. **not a chapter**

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (this was made in october, so preverse instanation: part 2 was made after this.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mini-vent

Hello to anyone who will read this. It’s been while since I updated, huh? Well at least for me since everyday feels like forever in this year.

To be honest, I haven’t touched this fic in awhile.

This story has been a wild ride for me, especially in my quarantine days where I was very inexperienced with writing and Ao3.

Ive had various ups and downs while writing (mentally), and have been very determined to finish this draft. The comments of encouragement to my “unconventional take on the 100” has really made me happy.

However, I’ve also been very unmotivated due to the statistics being annoying and some of my ideas not coming out the way I wanted to sometimes. Simply put, it’s been both fantastic and frustrating to write this. My mind has been both the greatest and the ugliest supporter of this fic.

I loved the way some of the scenes played out, but also felt like an “imposter” in a way. Especially in a big writing fandom like this one. I have no idea if any other amateur writers have felt this way before, but it stings sometimes.

As nice as the Ao3 clexa fandom is with its writing and how much I love to be apart of it, I will be stepping back for a bit. I won’t disappear for too long and will definitely continue this work later. I just wanted to speak out a little and be open.

thanks for the support and see you all later,

distortedsanctum  
  



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